Page 28 of Loving Taylor

I found myself standing in Joe's again. Slater had insisted I could do with a night out. Hoping that getting out would help, I gave in and allowed him to drag me with him.

Usually I was pretty good at pool but I couldn't shoot anything properly and Slater was kicking my ass. It only reminded me of what was bugging me.

"You suck," Slater noted when he beat me for the sixth time.

"I'm just not feeling it tonight."

My friend studied me from across the table before he walked over to me, still holding the cue.

"Something's been bugging you for a while. Maybe talking will help." I shook my head.

I knew he meant well but verbally admitting what was happening wasn't something I was prepared to do yet. I didn't know if I would ever be ready.

Flexing my still aching hands, I studied the slight bruising from my exertion with the punching bag earlier.

Being out in public, away from the house, had done nothing to settle what was going on in my head. I didn't want to be here. I wasn't sure there was anywhere I did want to be.

An image of Taylor appeared in my mind and I scowled. I couldn't get away from her. She was the person who had caused this and even keeping away from her hadn't lessened her impact.

"I don't think I'm up for any more games," I finally admitted as I straightened up from leaning against the wall. I reached for my jacket.

Having an audience wasn't helping me with my darkening mood and I wasn't very good company anyway.

We decided to go outside to finish our last drink before we left.

Slater smiled when he looked at something behind me and I turned to see Taylor with the preppy guy I had seen her with on campus. The one I had decided was the type of guy she deserved. Not someone who couldn't keep their shit together.

An unwanted possessiveness struck me. I smiled, trying to soothe over the sudden urge to tear her away from him.

"Hi," she greeted. She introduced the preppy guy as Caleb.

While I eyed him, Slater shook hands with him and said, "Nice to meet you."

I didn't want to play nice but I didn't want to create a scene that would lead to questions I didn't want to answer. Or, more truthfully, didn't know how to answer. There was no way I was going to shake hands with the guy so I gave him a brief nod instead.

"Where are you guys headed?" Slater asked, detracting attention from me as I studied the couple closer.

I remembered how she had looked at me after our night together. Did she look at him the same way? That thought turned my stomach. Had they slept together?It doesn't matter. You don't care, I told myself. She can do what she wants with whomever she wants.

But no matter how many times I told myself that, I didn't believe one word. I cared way too much.

"To the movies," she replied nervously.

The atmosphere was awkward but I didn't care. Keeping a lid on red-hot emotions that were bubbling inside of me was more important. I wanted to wipe that confident look of Mr. Preppy's face. I dug my nails into my palms as I resisted the urge to rearrange his perfect face with my fists. I had no right to feel the way I did. I had no right to her. If I wanted that I would have to give her more, and I couldn't. The memories of my nightmare stopped me.

She glanced down at her watch. "We'd better go, otherwise we're going to miss the show."

My eyes focused on her hand intertwined with his. The ache in my chest worsened. I wanted them to go.

"We're having another party on Saturday. Why don't you come? Bring Caleb and your hot friend, Jordan," Slater said as they started to walk away.

I shot my friend a glare before focusing back on Taylor.

"I will," she replied as she gave Slater a short wave.

Our eyes met briefly before she left, leaving me with a rawness inside. After they disappeared out of my line of sight I turned to Slater.

"What?" he asked when he saw the annoyed look I gave him.