Page 30

Chapter 30

Theo

I ’d never given much thought to whether God existed. It always seemed pretty obvious to me that he didn’t, because my life had been a living hell and it wasn’t like I’d started out doing anything to deserve it.

So the book in my hands was a shock. Written word, proof, that there were higher things—not God, exactly, but beings that created good and evil, made anger and fury, love and purity. Things that made lust and passion and humanity.

Things that made the aura that burned so bright inside Wren that it let him become a cupid to begin with.

Those things were real, and apparently that was what we were going to seek out.

It was dangerous—I didn’t need Aiden’s warning ringing through the air to tell me that much, or the look of worry on his face when he glanced between us.

I think he could see it just as much as I could feel it. Maybe we’d die, but we would die holding hands, we’d die trying.

We’d die together.

In the end, I had to think Aiden cared about Wren, because he let us walk out of the room when Wren had spent the entire time since we’d met worrying that Aiden would tear his wings off if he saw us together.

“If you really insist on doing this, fine.” Aiden shrugged like it wasn’t obvious that he was vehemently against the idea. “I don’t want to kill you, Wren, and it’s obvious you’d die fighting me if I tried to do the right thing .” Aiden’s eyes flicked to me when he said it, then trailed back to Wren. His voice was softer when he spoke again. “You’ve always been so graceful in the way you fight, so strong standing against anything thrown at you. You’re not going to be able to change things, but it would be tantamount to tearing your wings off anyway if I didn’t let you try.”

He turned his back on us then, one elegant hand raising and gesturing toward the bookshelf. “You want the black book with silver on the spine. If you’re really going to go to them and try to plead your case, I’d spend tonight like it was the last night of your lives…” He didn’t bother looking over his shoulder when he sat at his desk. “Because it probably will be.”

“I can’t believe he let us walk out of there.” Wren’s voice was hoarse, shaking like he hadn’t just been full of enough bravado to literally stand up to his maker. The second we were out of the apartment building, he swayed on the spot, and I wondered if it was only my arms around him that kept him standing.

We didn’t have to hide anymore, and Aiden had told us before we left that he’d handled the mess Wren left behind.

Though we didn’t bother to ask what he meant by handled , it was still safe to assume we’d be better off changing locations again, on the off chance that Aiden changed his mind and came after us.

At least, that’s what Wren seemed to be thinking when he flew us to the house to grab our things so we could rent another hotel room. It wasn’t until we were safely behind closed doors that the tension slowly started to leak out of Wren’s frame.

It left him slumping against the wall.

“Wren?” It was ridiculous to ask if he was okay, but I didn’t know how to comfort people.

I’d never had to before.

“I thought he was going to kill you.” He spoke through the hands that covered his face. “I thought he was going to tear the thread from my chest. I was so worried, I—”

Maybe I didn’t know how to comfort him, but instinct still told me exactly what to do. It was easy to step forward, and easier to pull his hands from his face so I could lean in and press my lips against his.

He tasted like salt.

Like tears.

Like all his fear and stress coming out while he tried to hide it from me. I kissed him, licking the flavor of sorrow from his mouth and trying to replace it with what I felt, what it meant that he’d been willing to stand in front of me. To protect me.

To lose everything for me.

“It’s okay,” I murmured when I pulled back, and he shook his head.

“It won’t be until we finish this. Where’s the book? We can…” He trailed off when I slid my hands along his waist and smoothed my fingers beneath his shirt. They skated up the curve of his abdomen, and I brushed his nipple with my thumb. “Theo, what are you doing?”

“You heard Aiden.” I smiled, and I knew the expression was probably rueful. I heard him—I heard everything he’d said. “This might be it, Wren. We might die when we go after what’s in that book.”

“We aren’t going to—”

“You don’t know that. So let’s… pretend.” I stepped into him until our bodies were pressed flush together, until the heat of my breath mingled with the coolness of his own. “We’re just two humans, Wren. Some asshole cupid with a god complex shot us, and now we’re here. We’re in love and we don’t know why, but we’re here.” I kissed the corner of his mouth and dropped my head to his shoulder. “For tonight, do you think we could pretend we have forever? That it’s just you and me? No danger, no tomorrow. Just you and me, and nothing that could tear us apart?”

The soft brush of Wren’s hands along my spine, lifting up to thread through my hair so I looked at him, sent shivers running all along my body.

“I love you,” he whispered. “If that’s what you want, we’ll make tonight feel like it’s the first night… The last night. Let’s make it last forever.” He pushed me back and made his way to the bed behind us, dropping his jacket to the ground and looking over his shoulder as he did. “But if that’s what you want, then I want something too.”

My eyes widened when he climbed onto the bed, running his fingers along the comforter and looking up at me. I felt drawn forward, a moth helplessly flying toward the flame, like that look alone was enough to completely destroy any willpower I had.

“What do you want, Wren?”

He licked his lips while he looked me over, and took a deep breath like he was nervous. Then he smiled and pushed himself to lay back. “I want you to fuck me.”

“I—”

“I’ve never let anyone touch me like that before, Theo. If it’s the first night, our first time… If this is the last night of our lives, I want that. With you.” He sat up and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side. “Just you.”

Oh shit. There was no world where I would ever deny him. No world where I could ever tell him no.

And I wanted it. Fuck , I wanted him so much I could barely think straight. Could barely stop myself from crawling onto the bed and letting that dark thing in my chest come to the surface, so I could take him like an animal and leave myself so branded on his soul he’d find me again in our next lives if we died tomorrow.

But…

I turned to my bag and rifled around—it felt like a lifetime ago when Wren had taken me shopping. How did the days feel so long? How did it feel like forever, and like I’d barely had a chance to be with him at all?

Why did it feel like it was all rushing headlong to an end?

I pushed the thought away and grabbed the bottle of lube I’d teased him with, tossing it onto the bed beside him.

Wren laughed, and the sight of his smile made my chest ache.

“What?” I finally said, crawling up beside him.

“I know you were trying to get a rise out of me when you grabbed that in the store. Guess you knew we’d need it, huh?”

I moved until I could straddle him, trace his ribcage and the lightest edges of the wing tattoos that spilled to wrap around his hips above his jeans.

“I guess so.” I wanted to keep the levity, but I couldn’t help the question that spilled from my lips. “Are you sure about this, Wren?”

His fingers were so soft when they cupped the back of my neck and pulled me flush against him, but the tug in my hair was sharp when he brought my mouth to his.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything than I am of you, Theo. I want this.” He licked the seam of my lips. “I want you. Are you going to make me beg for it?”

It was just the slightest flash in my mind—the vision of Wren on his knees, begging. Sweet and warm and strong and all mine.

Fuck.

“No. Not tonight.” The words sounded haughty, but the man I once was, the monster who would have really felt it and edged it with cruelty, seemed miles away. All I wanted was his mouth on mine again.

All I wanted was to feel him, to give him everything he asked for.

All I wanted was to make tonight last forever.

“Then touch me, Theo.” Wren’s lashes fluttered softly. “It’s your turn to make me fly.”

I wasn’t sure if anything had ever been this important—if anything I’d ever done in my life had mattered as much as this mattered to me now. My world shifted to a single focus. A solitary purpose.

I wanted to make Wren feel good.

I wanted to make him feel as good as he’d always made me feel. I wanted him to know that even though I was half a monster, even though there was no promise we’d be here after tomorrow… that this mattered.

That he mattered.

I needed him to know he was the only thing in my life that had ever mattered.

“Okay… okay, Wren.” Even his name on my tongue felt sweeter than usual. I was slow about undressing him, dropping soft kisses to the skin I exposed. It felt like we’d never really taken our time like this—never had a moment where there wasn’t something pressing at the edge of what we were doing. Grief, pain, fury, hate.

There was none of that now—just how much I fucking loved him, how much I wanted this moment to go on . No matter what happened.

When I’d stripped him, I sat back on my heels long enough to make quick work of my clothes. Wren looked up at me with those lilac eyes, so full of patience and warmth… want.

Need.

We needed each other.

I’d always needed him.

I shifted between his legs and flattened my stomach to the bed, letting my lips roam along the top of his thigh, the dips of his hips. When my tongue flicked out and ran along the base of his cock, Wren groaned above me.

The echoing twist of flame rocking up my spine from the sensation was intoxicating.

It felt so good to know that I was making him feel so good.

To know that I could make someone feel like that.

I wanted more.

I wanted to get drunk on his desire.

My lips ghosted along his shaft, then I opened my mouth and swallowed him down without warning. Wren’s back came off the bed, and I gagged around the feel of his cock hitting the back of my throat, the spasm of it only making him writhe more. He bucked his hips forward as I hollowed my cheeks to suck him, working my tongue against his skin, then pulling back to hold just the head between my lips so I could play at the slit of his dick.

“Theo.” Wren gasped my name, his hands spilling down his body to thread into my hair. He didn’t force me to move my head, he just held me—eyes almost helpless, body completely lost to my control. My mouth worked around his tip while I studied his face, greedy to drink down the way his stare went hazy before I swallowed him down again.

I repeated the process a few more times before reluctantly pulling back. I had to, though. I could have spent all night worshiping his cock, but I wanted more. We both needed more, and my fingers were shaking from the weight of it when I grabbed the bottle of lube.

“Roll over for me?” The question came soft, and Wren’s body moved languidly, already loose with pleasure. It burned through me, knowing that just a few touches had him melting beneath my fingertips. He rocked his ass upward, spreading his legs and offering himself to me. And fuck…

He looked so pretty like that. My eyes roamed over the tattoo on his back—the ink couldn’t hold a candle to his real wings, but it was still gorgeous. There were loops of black all over his skin, but his wings…

My fingers touched down just above his ass and slowly trailed along his spine.

Like they were on springs, the instant I pressed between his shoulder blades, I got to watch in fascination as the feathered tattoos gained texture, coming to life. There was a moment where it was just feathers on skin, and then in a burst they spilled into the air, reaching for me.

God, they were beautiful.

“Theo.” Then he spoke softer. “Keep touching me, please?”

Wren’s voice held so much tenderness. So much ache and need. The want in him seemed endless, a hole waiting to be filled that went all the way down.

I wanted to live there in that space, to exist in his desire and need for me. His love was all the food I needed, the only thing necessary for survival.

I could be happy there.

Fuck, Wren made me happy .

I slicked my fingers with lube and pressed myself forward—it was easy to lay myself along his back to trail my lips between his shoulder blades. I pressed the ghost of a kiss there and slid my fingers between his cheeks, slicking his hole while I flicked my tongue out to lick the place where his wings spilled from his back.

The skin was softer there, cool and perfect under my touch. Wren rolled his body back against me like I’d taken his cock into my mouth again.

I wanted more.

I wanted all of him.

He rocked his hips upward when I slid a finger inside him, pressing slow and deep, up to the knuckle. It tore a moan from his chest, and I nuzzled my face against his back, drawing my digit out before thrusting in again. I fucked him with one finger until I found that place inside him that made his entire body jolt, nearly coming off the bed. The sensation tore through us both, nearly undoing me. I had to calm myself with a shaking breath, but when I came back, it was with more lube and two fingers. I fucked him slow and steady until he was panting beneath me, the flutter of his wings making the world around us hum lightly.

When he turned his head and gasped my name again, I knew I was lost—I couldn’t resist the lure of his warmth, the need to feel that connection. I pulled back long enough to slick my cock, then pressed back between his legs.

“I love you, Wren.” I bowed my head between his wings again, propping myself up with one hand while the other held his hip so I could guide myself slowly inside him. “I never knew what love felt like until I met you. Everything hurt. Everything was broken edges and shards. I didn’t know it was because my pieces were waiting for yours. I didn’t know there was someone who could make me feel whole .” I rocked my hips forward, sliding in a careful inch at a time while Wren’s entire body shivered underneath me.

“Theo.” He whispered my name, and I watched in fascination as his fingers twisted in the sheets while I bottomed out inside him. “Mmmf… fuck. My whole life… all of it. It was for this. For you. I was waiting for you. I was made for you.”

He sounded half delirious, and his words tapered off into low groans as I started to move. I rocked into the tight heat of his ass and moaned, thrusting a little harder each time I pulled out, filling him faster and faster until the pleasure of it started to lick up my spine.

It wasn’t enough, though—I needed more. I needed all of him. My fingers on his hips urged him up onto his hands and knees, and my next thrust went even deeper as I followed him. I was greedy when I slid my palms along his sides, lost in how much I wanted when I grabbed the base of his wings and used the leverage to arch his shoulders back. Wren whimpered, and I felt the electricity of his pleasure tearing little fissures in my skin and filling me up with how good it felt. I held his wings and used them to fuck into him.

Once I’d started, I couldn’t stop. He was so hot and tight around my cock, squeezing me with each tremble of his body. When he braced himself on one arm and dropped the other between his legs to take his length in hand, I gave myself over to the feel of it all.

My fingers were tight, squeezing the muscles of his wings with every snap of my hips, and my moans came in little punched-out sobs as I fucked him—sobs and the slap of flesh, my heart thundering and Wren’s wings fluttering. The room was filled with a mixture of noise that shouldn’t have made sense, but was somehow the most beautiful song I’d ever heard.

And it came to a crescendo when Wren gasped, when he thrust his body back hard to meet mine, and I felt him seize up a second before his ass completely clenched around me and the white-hot blaze of his orgasm roared through me. I wasn’t sure how I held out as he came up, knocking me back so I kneeled behind him and he could straddle me. Wren rode out his orgasm while I found myself lost in the flutter of his wings and the clenching of his body.

My arms wrapped around his chest, sliding down to the mess on his stomach. When he dropped down and took me inside the heat of him, my head fell forward, buried against his back, as I came in pulses of pleasure that stole my breath from one second to the next and left me shivering behind him while I filled him.

He bounced a few more times, milking every drop of pleasure from my dick and riding out his own orgasm before falling forward. I collapsed on his back, my arms trapped beneath his chest, my body nestled between his wings, and my cock slowly going soft inside him.

It was perfect.

He was perfect.

It was almost painful to move, but I needed to. I rolled to the side, but only long enough to get my arms around him so I could pull him on top of me. The slick mess of his orgasm was hot where our bodies pressed together, and my oversensitized cock tried to twitch to life at the feel of him against me.

I looked up at him, at the dark hair stuck to his forehead with sweat and the ring of lilac barely visible around dark, blown pupils.

“Can we stay like this forever?” I murmured the question even though I knew the truth.

And even though he knew the answer, Wren nodded and dropped down, pressing his lips to mine to whisper the sweetest lie into my mouth.

One word, and what we had to do tomorrow meant it could never be true, but for now… For now, I ignored that and lost myself to the taste of his lips, to the smell of berries and chocolate. To the soft glow of the red thread between us as Wren cupped my face and whispered, “Forever.”