Page 19

Chapter 19

Wren

I wasn’t sure what I expected when we came to Gethin’s, but it wasn’t the weird sense of calm that settled over me for what had to be the first time in decades. I didn’t realize how on edge I’d always been, the tension that I carried stored along my spine, nestled next to my wings.

There was no reason for it to suddenly leave my body, but there was no denying it had faded away as the sound of the rain that had started an hour earlier beat down on the roof. There was something about sitting around in Gethin’s living room and eating takeout while he complained about a television show he’d been watching, like we were mortals, that felt… soothing.

It was like everyone in the room wasn’t holding a secret that could easily get them killed.

My eyes kept drifting to Theo. As soon as we’d come back to the main house, he’d drawn in on himself again. I hadn’t missed it, though, the way he’d opened up while we were in the library, the way he’d seemed to almost force himself to let me in enough to know that he was hungry.

I’d never spent this much time around someone destined to become an Enmity. Honestly, I’d been more than happy to slit the throat of humans who were far less transformed than Theo was. His nails had never truly gone back to normal since the last time—the tips were black and sharper than they should have been. His teeth were pointed. It was only the liquid brown of his eyes—soft and wet and unsure—that reverted to normal.

It was those eyes I kept getting hung up on, the soft expression that continually drew me back to glance at him over and over again.

He was curled in the corner of the room, his shoulders slowly relaxing until they dropped down… and he stopped picking at his food and started actually eating after a few minutes.

I never thought I’d find myself fascinated with watching someone slowly open up, like a flower that hid its petals until it was kissed by the moonlight—a sight I was starting to realize was rare, but…

Fuck, was Theo beautiful?

I was pretty sure he was…

“Wren.” Gethin’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and made me realize I’d probably been doing a little more than glancing at Theo this time. I turned away from his confused expression and back to my friend.

“Hm?”

“How did you say you managed to keep him from changing?” I could hear the curiosity in Gethin’s voice, edged with the same tenacity and hope there always was. Anything that could influence a cupid, anything that could influence anything supernatural, was of interest to him. I honestly didn’t know if his hopes were fruitless—I’d never heard of a cupid getting their wings back. I didn’t even know if it was possible. At this point, I didn’t know if that was what he was aiming for, or if he just wanted to strip himself of his immortality altogether so he could be human again.

If he could have that, maybe the orders he’d been given wouldn’t hold anymore.

Maybe Aiden and his rules wouldn’t have any sway.

Though judging by the pictures in his library, it seemed like he was already skirting around the edges of them.

“I called in a favor,” I answered carefully. I didn’t think Gethin would ever do anything to endanger me, or anyone who’d helped me, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try to find a way to use Sephtis if he got the chance.

I wasn’t sure if there was a damn thing the Reaper could do for him. The only reason he’d managed to stop Theo’s transformation was because when a human truly turned to Enmity, their soul shattered. A soul leaving the body was the one place a Reaper had true control—ferrying all the fractured pieces of the human to the afterlife.

I didn’t realize my fingers were clenching hard enough to slice half-moon impressions of my nails into my palms until Theo let out a low, pained sound beside us.

Fuck.

I really did need to get hold of my emotions. I could blame the Ardor and the fact that it was pulsing through me, that it seemed to have somehow integrated itself into my bloodstream, fused with everything that I was. A direct hit to the heart made it impossible for the feelings to fade…

But no, this wasn’t lust or passion. This was a feeling I was actually used to. That bitter anger, the urge to fight, to kill, to…

My eyes drifted to Theo again, to the way he was staring at my hands like they’d somehow have answers to my behavior.

Fuck , I didn’t know if I had any answers at all.

“What kind of favor from what kind of creature?” Gethin prompted, giving me something else to focus on. At least it was easier to answer him—there were more Reapers than I could keep count of. I was fairly certain Gethin and Sephtis had never crossed paths.

“A Reaper. Don’t ask me how I curried his favor,” I added before he’d even opened his lips. “It’s nothing that could be repeated. It was just… chance.”

Chance… right. Sephtis and his golden eyes, staring at a dying mortal in a hospital bed. Sephtis, begging me to let him show that mortal kindness, no matter the cost.

A Reaper felt even less than a cupid—a Reaper shouldn’t have been able to feel at all . Shouldn’t have been able to sympathize, or want .

But he had.

And in the end, it had cost him everything. More than anyone should have been willing to give.

My eyes flicked back to Gethin—he’d given everything too, hadn’t he?

Maybe he and Sephtis would understand each other more than I thought.

“He sealed his soul, didn’t he?” Gethin finally asked after a few seconds. The fact that he’d managed to deduce what Sephtis had done without me saying anything, without me showing him the sigil so he could decipher the runes, was truly impressive. But that was half the reason I’d brought Theo here.

Gethin had all the time in the world to read, to research. He knew more about most things than anyone I’d ever met.

“Yeah. I wasn’t sure if he could do anything about it, but it seems to be working—for the most part.”

Gethin’s eyes dropped to Theo’s blackened nails, and he arched a brow.

“For the most part, hm? I don’t know how much good that’s going to do you when he turns one day and doesn’t come back to himself. An Enmity with his soul sealed away in his chest—can you imagine how dangerous that might be?”

I didn’t want to hear it, if I was being honest.

“I’m done.” Theo interrupted before I could come up with a way to defend him. He pushed himself to standing and crossed his arms over his chest. “Bathroom? I want to take a shower.”

Gethin stared at him for a beat, and I worried he was going to end up saying something that would make the situation worse. I’d dropped my guard too much, it seemed, because the gentle ease that had settled over the room was slowly fading away on the wings of Theo’s apprehension.

I had to force myself to clench my teeth so I wouldn’t tell him to stay. I sat silently as Gethin gestured to the room in the back of his little apartment. “Through there. It’s the only door that isn’t the closet.”

Theo didn’t look at me as he stepped past us and made his way into the bedroom, but he made sure to close the door loud enough that we both heard it.

Gethin at least had the tact to wait until he heard the water running for a few minutes before he turned back to me.

“He’s a fucking ticking time bomb. You realize that, right?”

Of course I realized that. I’d witnessed it firsthand. I’d seen him nearly transform—I’d been on the edge of his claws and seen the sharpness of his teeth.

It didn’t matter, though.

“Maybe. But what can I do about it, Gethin? I know you can see the thread between us just as much as I can.” I raised my hand and gently touched the edge of the crimson line. Just that faint little pluck was enough to make me wince. It was enough that the air momentarily felt trapped in my lungs. Enough that I knew Theo probably felt me touch it. I wondered if it would somehow reassure him that it was still there—that I was still here.

That we were still tethered, and I wasn’t worried about him turning on me .

When had I stopped worrying about that? Was it somewhere between feeling him touch himself in the bathroom and watching him control the fury of his transformation enough to attack the Enmity instead of me?

Was it when I’d been on the other side of the wall and held his hand?

Fuck.

When did I stop wanting to—

“You should kill him.”

My eyes snapped back to Gethin, shooting wide at the suggestion like it was the most ludicrous thing I’d ever heard in my existence.

I had to be careful, though. I realized that as much as I trusted Gethin, I didn’t trust him with everything I was thinking.

Everything I was feeling.

It wasn’t that I was worried about him turning on me… but I didn’t want him to try to repeat what had happened between the two of us with some stolen arrow.

It would probably kill him.

I didn’t want to think of what it would do to the human he’d once called brother.

“Did you hear me, Wren? You should—”

“I heard you,” I cut him off. “First of all, I already tried that. All it did was land me exactly where I am. Besides, I don’t know what would happen to me. You don’t understand, Gethin. When we first connected, there was a trail of black eating away at the thread between us. Have you ever heard of a cupid infected by Enmity? Do you have any idea what would happen?”

He was silent for a second, then the asshole actually lifted one shoulder in a shrug, like the suggestion was nothing more than a fun thought experiment for him.

“We’ve been attacked by them for eons—clawed and bitten, bled on. For all you know, it wouldn’t do a damn thing to you.”

He was right, but…

“You don’t understand. I could feel it, Gethin.” I tried to keep my voice as hushed as possible, because I didn’t know when Theo was going to come out of the bathroom.

And honestly, it wasn’t like he didn’t know this, but still…

“And you think if you cut the thread and slit his throat that it would still manage to spring between you?”

My fingers were clenching again, and I had to force myself to stop before Theo realized something was wrong.

“What happens to a human when their connection with their soulmate is broken?” I hissed the question out instead.

“They’re exposed to the Enmity, vulnerable to it.”

“Exactly!”

“But this isn’t the same, Wren. Cupids aren’t humans, and we can’t have soulmates, no matter how many times we stab them or ourselves.” Fuck, I could hear the pain in his voice. Of course he’d tried.

He’d probably tried a dozen times.

No… probably more than that.

There was every chance he still tried with bribed or stolen arrows.

“Things aren’t that simple, Gethin.”

“Let me make it simple for you. If Aiden finds out what you did, he’ll tear your wings off. You’ll spend the rest of eternity in pain , and they’ll kill him anyway. He won’t break the thread first, Wren. You’ll feel it, and you’ll spend the rest of eternity feeling it.”

The thought was horrifying, and the pain lancing through his voice told me that he wasn’t saying it out of spite or anger. He was saying it because it was what he felt every day. The pain of losing his wings, the love that he could never really give.

He was trying to save me…

But he didn’t understand—how could he understand? I didn’t even understand how a few days and a fucking red thread could change everything.

“It’s…” I bit back the instant denial on my tongue and took a breath to swallow it down. I had to keep a level head with this. He couldn’t know how much I was feeling… how real the connection between us was.

I didn’t think I could deny it anymore.

“It just makes sense, Wren. There’s every chance it would hurt you—of course it would. I can see the thread, how bright it is. But it’s not real . I’ve heard of humans going mad when their connections are broken, when their soulmates die. You might feel that too. But you’d be here. You’d be safe. I could stay with you through the worst of it. You’d recover, and your body would go back to exactly how it was before.” Gethin’s voice was soft. He cared about me, or he wouldn’t be suggesting this. I inherently knew that, but I still wanted to tell him to stop. He didn’t understand, and I didn’t know how to tell him I couldn’t go back to how it was before. Things were different. Knowing Theo made things different. Before was a colorless, empty world. And now…

Now…

Gods, it was all red.

“Gethin, I don’t think I can.”

“We’re built for that. Everything I’ve read has always said we’d recover from any outside influence to our hearts and auras if we have enough time to heal.”

Our hearts.

Our auras…

But fuck, what about my soul? What about the way it stretched out even now toward the bedroom door.

The bedroom door .

It took me a second too long to realize the wrenching pain in my chest wasn’t mine alone.

My eyes snapped to him a second before I heard his angry snort. Theo stood there with his hands wrapped around his stomach and a swirl of crimson eating away at the brown of his eyes.

“Think about how much easier it would be if you just cut me out, Wren. You’d recover.”

His voice held the same malicious fury that it had when he’d first woken up, but I could see behind it now.

The pain.

The…

Fuck, the betrayal.

And I could feel how much his muscles ached. His ribs. His chest.

I could feel the way he could barely breathe.

“Theo—”

“You know what? I can make it easier on you.”

I was already getting to my feet, but Gethin jerked me back roughly when Theo stalked toward us, fingers flexed into claws.

He spoke before I had a chance to, words I didn’t understand spilling from his lips. There was a popping sound, and my ears rang… then the front door slammed open and the protective runes that Gethin had in place sent Theo flying out into the rain.