Page 18 of Love’s Ace

Chapter 18

Theo

I felt stifled sitting in the small room, listening to the sound of whispering pages and Wren and Gethin occasionally chatting in such a familiar way that it made me feel like I didn’t belong there at all.

It was worse because whenever Wren wasn’t looking, I noticed the way the man across from me raised his odd colored eyes and stared at me like he was trying to make me combust on the spot.

I wasn’t sure if it was because of what I was, or if he really was just an asshole. Whatever the reason, I couldn’t stand to be there for another second.

If I was being honest with myself, it was the distance I’d put between Wren and myself too. It wasn’t that I minded—I still wanted to cut the thread between us and run as far and as fast as I could—but at the same time, it was almost as painful being in the room without touching him as it was being out of his sight. The heat beneath my skin wasn’t strong enough to overrun me, but I could feel it lingering just beneath the surface, threatening me. Teasing me. Taunting me.

Reminding me what a different kind of heat felt like—reminding me how it felt when I was pressed along the length of Wren’s body and wringing myself out on the sensation of him spasming under my hands.

The thoughts made it impossible for me to stay in the room, and my pride meant I couldn’t ask Wren to follow me when I decided I had to get out.

I refused to admit the relief I felt when he came anyway.

I waited until the door was closed before I turned on him. “Were you worried I was going to run off like he said? Wreak havoc on the churchgoers?” The usual venom in my voice didn’t quite reach my tone, and Wren frowned.

“Fuck off, Theo. I just needed to get some air.” Even as he said it, he took a step closer to me. My usual instinct to shove anyone who tried to get near me away threated to rise, then died the second his fingers brushed against my wrist.

Almost of its own volition, my hand spasmed and took hold of his. The second our fingers threaded together, I felt something in my chest loosen. Tension I didn’t realize I was carrying melted out of me in such a rush I nearly collapsed. My eyes dropped to the ground instead, and I blew out a breath.

“It’s just…”

“Gethin’s a lot.” Wren supplied before I had to figure out what I wanted to say. He started walking, and I wasn’t sure if he had a direction in mind or if he just wanted to get us away from the little house behind us and the man he was talking about. “But he’s been through enough that I give him as much leeway as he needs. He’s…”

Wren didn’t stop walking, but his words caught behind lips that were pressed together.

“He said something about his wings?” I prompted. I was curious—probably more curious than I should have been. Maybe it was because I’d seen the way Wren tensed when I touched his… and I’d noticed the near panic in his eyes a second before the pleasure had settled in his gaze.

“He…” Wren looked at the house behind us, and then back at me almost helplessly. “They ripped his wings off. When you do that to a cupid, it renders them practically powerless, always in pain. It breaks our auras. We can’t summon arrows; we can’t take to the sky. We can only remember what we were and live forever knowing we’ll never be whole again.”

His voice was thick with pity, but I didn’t miss the horror that chased at its heels. It made sense…

“Why would they do that?’

Wren’s eyes dropped to the ground, and he continued to speak like he couldn’t stop the words from spilling out now that I’d asked. “Gethin is different than the rest of us. When they first tried to make him, they thought it didn’t take. He was raised as a human and he fell in love with one of the boys he grew up with. And when he turned eighteen, he sprouted his wings.”

“They took them because of that?”

“No.” Wren squeezed my fingers and pulled me forward, further from the house and Gethin, like it made it okay that he was spilling the man’s secrets. “They took his wings because he kept killing anyone who got close to Liam.”

Oh .

I didn’t know what to say after that—some part of me could understand it. He fell in love, and then whatever powers that be decided he couldn’t have the person he wanted. My eyes flicked to Wren again, and I bit my lower lip. I didn’t realize I was doing it so hard until he winced.

“Sorry.” My apology came on the taste of copper, and I wasn’t sure I could tell him why. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew.

I knew that I was thinking about him, about impossible things… Like what it could have been like if I’d met him before I was broken, before I’d learned that the world wasn’t a place where I could be happy.

What would I have done then, if I’d been told I couldn’t have him?

What wouldn’t I have done ?

“I guess it makes sense why he’s such an asshole.” I finally conceded. Wren didn’t say anything, he just pulled me further into the graveyard, the expression on his face a war that I couldn’t quite understand. Maybe he felt bad that he’d told me his friend’s secrets?

Or maybe he was thinking about what he would have done in Gethin’s shoes. I wanted to ask him—I almost asked him.

Instead, I pressed my lips together and followed him as he pulled us toward a building at the back of the property.

“Gethin’s been trying to figure out how to reverse what they did since the day they did it, so…” Wren pushed open the door to the building, and my eyes widened.

There were books everywhere—scattered over a table, littering shelves—handwritten notes were pinned to the walls on one side, and on the other, there were pictures of a man.

A very pretty man with a sweet smile, and I didn’t have to ask Wren who he was. If Gethin had fallen in love, it was clear those emotions hadn’t gone away with his punishment. The pictures were all of the same person. They followed him through life—teenager, early twenties. He looked like he was approaching thirty in the last photo on the wall.

“I can’t imagine wanting someone so much you’d be willing to give up everything for them.” I stared for another few seconds before pulling my gaze away from the smiling face that had obviously brought Gethin nothing but pain. “Doesn’t seem worth it.”

“I…” Wren started, then shook his head and grabbed a book from the table, tossing it at me. “Humans do strange things.”

I didn’t have to remind him that I was a human—at least, I thought I was still mostly human—or tell him that even when I’d been completely human, the only thing trusting someone had done was hurt.

I probably wasn’t the person to ask when it came to things like love and sacrifice, if I was being honest.

I settled into a chair and opened the book he’d handed me, figuring that was probably a better use of my time than trying to explain to Wren why love wasn’t something I was willing to risk myself on.

Not now. Not ever again.

We stayed in Gethin’s little library longer than I’d thought we would. There was something almost relaxing about it—maybe it was because Wren wasn’t on edge. Whatever belief he had that this area was safe, it translated to the way he sat with his body sprawled out on a chair, his shoulders loose and his eyes focused on the pages he flipped through. It showed in the way he’d sometimes lift his head and start talking about something he read.

It showed in the way I finally stretched with a yawn. Wren looked up at me with the softest smile on his face.

“You look like you could use some sleep.”

I barely heard the words, though—I was too focused on his mouth, on the shape of his lips and the way he looked so different when he wasn’t defensive. It made my chest constrict, and something behind my ribs ache.

It made the thread between us give a little twinge of hazy red that I ignored as I stood.

“You’re probably right.”

If I ignored whatever the fuck had just happened, I’d probably be better off.

“Shit… and you’re probably hungry.”

At the mention, my stomach gave a low rumble, like it hadn’t realized he was right until he brought it up.

“If it’s any trouble, you don’t have to worry about it. I’ve been hungrier.”

Wren’s lips pressed together again, and when he stood and started toward me, my instinct was to recoil. It came from years of knowing that a complaint was met with a closed fist, that I didn’t have a right to say anything. That I was lucky if I was fed at all, let alone—

“Theo. I don’t know what the fuck you went through before, but as long as we’re stuck together, you’re not going to go through it now.”

Stuck together, he said, while softly promising me that I didn’t have to deal with being hungry.

Stuck together , he said… but his hand came out slow enough that I could telegraph his movements, that I could pull away if I wanted. I had to clench my jaw to force myself to stand still… but all he did was straighten the front of my jacket and zip it up while keeping his eyes on my chest.

On the line between us.

I didn’t know what to do. I had no idea what to say… so I did the best I could.

“Okay.”

I caught it when his eyes lifted up toward me, and he gave me that half smile again—soft, like he didn’t realize he was doing it.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, if Gethin has something.”

“I can order something here if he doesn’t. Don’t worry about it.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to throw vitriol at him, to ask if he wanted to make sure I didn’t hurt anyone by leaving. It was right there, the bitterness I always turned to. The anger that had kept me safe for so long.

Instead, I took a breath and mumbled, “Chinese food.”

“What?”

It was odd, how scary it was just to ask for something. It shouldn’t have made me feel so vulnerable, but…

“I like Chinese food.”

I waited, my body tense. I could tell that Wren noticed it when his eyes swept up and down my frame, pausing on my drawn-in shoulders, my clenched fists. He could probably feel it vibrating off me in palpable waves through the connection between us.

Wren opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, then snapped it shut and reached into his pocket. It took me a second to realize he was fishing out his phone, and another few before I caught on to what he was doing.

“I’d like to place an order.” He turned his back to me when he said it, and I felt something inside me threaten to crack.

It was just food . It was fucking food , and it didn’t mean a damn thing. It definitely wasn’t enough to make something in me feel like it was breaking.

My eyes flicked back to the pictures on the wall—to the man Gethin had given up his wings for, had given himself over to a life of pain for.

It wasn’t worth it.

Love wasn’t worth it.

And Wren…

Fuck… I had to tell myself that Wren wasn’t worth it, either.