Page 12

Chapter 12

Theo

“ T heo?” I’d started to wonder if he’d silently snuck out of the hotel room while I wasn’t looking. Even though I’d sat with our fingers entwined for what felt like hours, I’d eventually pulled away and dropped my body onto the bed like I’d never move again.

It was ridiculous, the sense of calm that poured through me holding his hand, especially when I couldn’t see him. I could just close my eyes and concentrate on the cool sensation pooling through my body, and for a while it was like years melted away. All the pain, the anger, the agony that tore through me on a daily basis was just… gone.

And it was all because Wren didn’t take my hand—he let me touch him. He let me lead. Even though he made it clear he wanted to kill me, even though he made it clear he hated everything I was becoming…

I felt safe.

In control.

I felt like I could breathe.

Which was exactly why I’d pulled away and threw myself on the bed. It wasn’t a sensation I could allow myself to get used to. We were going to figure out how to sever the thread between us, and Wren would either try to kill me, or he’d disappear out of my life just as suddenly as he’d shown up. Honestly, a small part of me wondered if I was still wrapped up in some kind of fucked-up fever dream on the street, high on a trip gone sour.

I raised my hand up to look at it—the lines of our palms were a perfect match. In my other hand, the feather that had fallen between us was a velvety reminder that nothing about any of this was normal.

“Theo?” This time his voice was closer. Wren moved to stand in the doorway separating us like some invisible barrier that he couldn’t cross. His hands stretched out to press against either side of the frame as he looked me up and down. At least I had the sense to tuck the feather I’d kept into my pocket before I pushed myself into a sitting position.

“What?” Apparently a few minutes of hand-holding couldn’t make me sound any less like an asshole when I answered him, but Wren seemed to brush it off.

“We need to get food, and maybe a change of clothes for you. I…” His brows knitted together, and he glanced at the thread trailing between us. “I think you should come with me.”

It was still unspoken—the way I’d felt when there’d been windows and doors and space between us before… how it had slowly started to let that fire penetrate back into my body. I didn’t know what he felt on his end, or if he felt anything at all. There was every chance he was just offering because he trusted me more when I was in his line of sight—even though he’d given me the illusion of privacy, he’d never shut the joining door between our rooms.

“Afraid I’m going to slaughter the entire hotel while you’re out shopping like a housewife?” Venom. The words still sounded like pure venom coming from my lips, and at least some small part of me felt…

Bad .

“It’s safer for everyone if I keep you close by.” He sounded just as ambivalent as always, but his eyes flicked down to my hand for a brief moment before he turned away. “Get ready. It’s late enough that we should be able to do this without running into many people.”

There wasn’t really a question in Wren’s voice, but I wasn’t willing to deal with the repercussions of saying no just to be stubborn. Not when I felt calmer than I had in days. I didn’t want to tell him that, so the second best thing I could do was give a curt nod and push myself up from the bed.

I did double check to make sure the feather was tucked deep into the pocket of my jacket before I walked into the other room—the last thing I needed was him seeing that I’d kept it.

I still wasn’t sure why I’d kept it.

“You realize this is another situation where you’re paying, right?” It wasn’t something I was proud of, but I didn’t have anything. Honestly, when I’d run out of my shitty little place, I hadn’t even brought my wallet with me. And there was every chance someone had noticed I hadn’t been back and broken in to steal all of my shit by now.

It probably said a lot that I didn’t care. I didn’t have anything worth stealing to begin with, so they couldn’t take anything from me.

“It’s fine.” Wren’s response was clipped, and I tilted my head and eyed him. I obviously hadn’t imagined his wings the first time we’d encountered each other because I had evidence of them in my pocket now. When we’d been sitting on opposite sides of the wall, touching each other, I’d heard the rustle of feathers.

But as he stood now, with his back ramrod straight, there was no sign of fluttering coming from the leather jacket he wore.

“Fine. Let’s go.” I pushed my way from the room before he had a chance to say anything else, and it left him half jogging to catch up. I ignored the way I felt the thread trailing between us tug violently for the few breaths it took him to reach me. The damned thing was going to be the end of me—I couldn’t so much as leave the same building without it trying to flood up my throat to strangle me. To make me go back to Wren.

I’d been caught before, tethered to a person out of fear and pain. I didn’t want to feel that way again.

I couldn’t feel that way again.

It made me walk faster instead of waiting for him to catch up, even though I knew it was dangerous. I could feel that pang starting behind my ribs, and somehow I suddenly wanted it.

I was ready to break myself, I was ready to hurt… because deep down, I was afraid .

I was terrified of wanting this.

Of needing…

“Theo, stop!” Wren’s voice caught me off guard, the demand in it infuriating. I whirled, and I didn’t realize until I raised my hand that the nails were tipped with claws.

I was burning again—my fear chasing away whatever safety net had been put in place. The edge of my vision was catching to red, and I wanted to kill him.

I wanted to tear him apart.

I wanted to rip the thread from between us.

I wanted—

Wren caught my fingers in his, jerking my arm down. I thought for a second he meant to hurt me, and I raised my other hand to push him away, to claw at him, to do whatever it took to get him off me…

And then I realized he wasn’t moving.

He was just…

He was holding my hand.

His fingers chased away the heat trying to scorch its way straight through my veins. It made me pause.

I could kill him.

I could have killed him.

He wasn’t even putting his hand up to defend himself. He just stared at me with those violet eyes and waited.

My hand dropped to my side and I frowned.

Under Wren’s steady gaze, the fight slowly drained out of me, and I finally dropped my eyes to the ground.

“Feel better?” His voice was soft, calm. Calmer than I deserved.

“Yeah,” I muttered, and he tugged on my fingers, not letting my hand go as he started to walk.

“Good.”

We were silent after that, and I had to admit there was something novel about what we were doing as he led me from the building. I’d never just… walked down the street with someone before without feeling like something bad was going to happen. I’d never been led somewhere that I wasn’t suspicious of.

It was easy walking with my hand in his. It was definitely something I could get used to, which made it more dangerous than I wanted to admit. As we rounded the corner, I started to pull away again—the same problem I’d felt earlier was back, but now I couldn’t summon the anger to take action like I usually would. How did I tell him that I couldn’t do this? That touching him was almost worse than the fire that threatened to pour through me when I didn’t, because I was more afraid of getting used to the feeling than I was of losing myself. Because if I lost this…

Wren turned when I moved, and his eyes went cold. My defenses instantly jerked into place when he grabbed a blade from his side, and I tried to jerk my hand out of his. Had this all been some kind of ruse after all, to lure me into a false sense of security?

“ Move, Theo.” He used his grip on me to twist our bodies and throw me behind him. When I turned to take a swing at him, I realized it wasn’t me he’d pulled the knife for.

There were two things standing in front of him. They were tall, all muscle and agility. Their red eyes were like halos in the darkness of the alley we’d walked through, and when one slashed a hand forward at Wren, I saw the black claws on its fingertips.

It looked almost human… ethereal in a way. Angular features and full lips filled with sharp teeth. When Wren swiped forward with his blade and cut the back of its hand, it roared as black blood dripped to the ground.

Enmity.

This is what I was going to turn into—this was the thing Wren was sworn to kill.

I looked down at my hands almost numbly… at the way my nails had gone black and sharp… like claws.

Like those things.

Like the thing that had attacked me, even though I’d thought it was a dream.

That’s what I was going to become? Monster , Wren had said, but I hadn’t realized he meant it so… literally.

The one he cut reared back, and a pair of black wings sprang from its shoulders. It took me a second to realize why—when it spun, the barbs on the tips caught against Wren’s cheek, cutting it open.

Wren bled gold, and the thing licked sharp teeth with another low growl.

Wren bled gold… and he moved so his body was between me and the danger.

Oh.

Oh shit , he was protecting me.

That burn in my chest was back, so sudden it felt caustic, and violent enough my entire body started to shiver.

The two beasts circled him, and I didn’t like the way he stiffened. I liked it even less when I saw him move with them while keeping his body between mine and theirs. He only had a knife in his hand—the bow I’d seen him with earlier was still back at the hotel room.

Had he forgotten it because of me?

Was he about to get hurt because of me?

How many people had to get hurt because of me?

“Theo, run,” he said in a low voice. “Get around the corner and run .”

“No.” The word came out before I could think it through, but it felt solid on my tongue, spilling down to my feet and keeping me rooted to the spot.

“I can’t fight them if I’m watching you.” Wren moved his body between me and the two creatures again in a deadly dance that he had no partner for. When one lunged, he thrust his knife forward and sliced into it, but he came away bleeding again. “ Go. Please. ”

“No.” I snarled the word this time, and my feet suddenly weren’t stuck anymore. I was moving without thinking, and I charged past Wren and tackled the thing that made him bleed to the ground.

It was second nature to raise my hand and stab it down. Claws tore into its chest, and it looked up at me with a shocked expression and dark eyes that bled crimson around the edges. The face was so close to human, so close to the furious reflection I saw when I looked in the mirror.

When it roared and tore into me, I felt an echoing answer rip from my chest. I snarled back and wrapped my hands around its throat.

Somewhere behind me, Wren called my name… but then there was movement, a scuffle. A fight.

He didn’t have to face two of them, though.

He didn’t have to face this alone.

No one had ever stood between me and danger. It… meant something. But whatever it meant was slowly bleeding away to that rage and fire tearing through me, making me feel like my skin was going to scorch off, that my veins would turn just as black as the things I was trying to kill. Black veins on pale skin.

Like the monster I was destined to become.

No wonder Wren hated me.

If I had to be a monster, though, maybe it was okay if I was being a monster for someone.

Maybe it was okay if I was being a monster for him.

I let myself go with that thought, knowing there was every chance I wouldn’t be able to find my way back to sanity again… and it felt good.

It felt good when my fingers plunged into the Enmity’s stomach—when I tore into it—and it felt good when its claws tore along my back and I screamed. It felt good because I could hear Wren behind me, fighting just as hard as I was—still fighting, because he didn’t have to fight alone.

My fury slowly ate away at the edge of my vision until all I could see was red, until all I could feel was that inferno raging through my chest… and it felt good…

Because for the first time, I was burning for someone instead of burning alone.

Immolation with a cause.

The memory of his hand sliding around the corner, cool fingers waiting for mine, carried me as I tore the thing beneath me apart. It carried me to rip its throat out, to tear its wings off.

And it made me sway on my feet when I heard a crunching sound behind me. When I turned, there was just a bright red line trailing to a glow.

Then another light, bright like the moon, coming toward me.

“Theo?” A voice in my ear, hands reaching out… and then darkness spilled across my vision.