Page 16 of Love’s Ace

Chapter 16

Theo

I crawled out of bed while Wren was sleeping and instantly locked myself in the shower, like that could somehow erase the sensation that poured through me when I woke up in his arms.

It wasn’t bad. Or dangerous. I wasn’t afraid, or repulsed.

It was safe , and that was worse .

Safe was the most dangerous feeling of all, because I knew I wouldn’t survive if I settled into safe and had it torn away from me. I wouldn’t be able to live if safe turned into Wren trying to kill me when he figured out how to sever the line between us.

My eyes glanced down at the traitorous strand of red and I scowled. When I took it in my fingers, the warmth radiating from it was pleasant, soothing.

I gave it an experimental tug and heard a gasp spill from behind the door.

“Theo?”

Wren’s voice was deep with sleep, gruff and throaty and…

I groaned and let my head fall against the bathroom wall, tugging on the string almost helplessly.

Wren gasped again, and this time the growl in his voice wasn’t from sleep.

“Stop that.”

The temptation to wrap my fingers tighter and tug again was so strong I think he could tell, because he flung the door open before I had a chance to do it. My eyes instantly darted up, but the defenses I could usually slam into place easier than drawing in a breath just weren’t there.

“Knock much?” I managed lamely, and he narrowed his eyes, dropping them down to my chest. When he realized it was still bare—and that I was still naked—I watched his cheeks splotch slowly to red.

“Stop pulling on the thread. I can feel it. It’s not…” He shifted his eyes away from me, but not before I noticed them glance up and down my body once—quickly—and not before I saw his back quiver like he was having a silent argument with his wings not to flutter out again.

“Not?”

“Comfortable.” He turned his back on me with a frown and stomped out of the bathroom like he wasn’t the one who’d barged in to begin with.

I didn’t realize I was smirking until he was already gone.

How was it that nothing had changed, but everything felt so different?

I took a quick shower, noticing the small noise he made when I scrubbed my body down, and then stepped out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around me.

“We really need to get you some clothes.” Wren didn’t look at me when he muttered it, but he did sweep past me. I heard the bathroom door lock behind him, and then I realized exactly why he’d made the noises while I was in the shower.

It wasn’t anything vicious, or even intentional . But I could feel his fingers work the hard lines of his muscles, running soap over his frame as quickly as he could. It was tantamount to some kind of torture, and I found myself getting dressed in the same dirty, half blood-soaked clothes I’d had on the other night.

“You’re right.” I spoke before the billow of steam even spilled from the bathroom door. “I think I need new clothes. This smells like…” Death? Like blood? I wasn’t sure what the Enmity I’d killed last night smelled like, but it wasn’t natural.

“I don’t know if there are more of the Enmity just… waiting. I’m not sure, but there may be something about our connection that’s attracting them.” Wren’s voice was filled with something unsaid, and I could feel apprehension in the unspoken words trailing between us. Maybe he wasn’t keeping his walls up as well as before, because his emotions flooded into me in little waves that left me reeling.

“What aren’t you saying?”

His eyes narrowed, and he opened his mouth like he meant to lie. Just as quickly, he snapped it shut and shook his head. “They can probably feel you, open and raw. Ready to change. They can probably feel that something’s wrong.”

Me.

Of course it was me.

I was the reason he’d nearly gotten killed last night, and if more of those things came after us, I’d be the reason he got hurt.

He stepped forward before I could say anything, and whatever heat was trying to surge up through my chest and make my words vile stilled at the back of my throat when his hand landed lightly on the side of my neck.

Just his fingertips, but the coolness edged along my nerve endings and made it easier for me to breathe than it should have been. Easier for me to think clearly.

I wasn’t sure if he understood—this was different. Even before I’d been attacked, I’d been incapable of controlling myself. It was impossible not to feel hurt, defensive, anxious. Closed off.

There was a reason I’d killed so many people. Self-defense only went so far. Self-preservation was a more apt way to describe it.

But Wren…

Wren made all that anger, all that pain fade somewhere in the background, and when I tilted my gaze down to look at him, he was staring at me thoughtfully.

“It isn’t your fault, Theo,” he said carefully, like he was testing the words on his tongue. When they didn’t burn him, he continued. “We’ll call another car. It’s late. We can go to a store and grab you something, and then come back here before anything notices us.”

He sounded sure enough, even though I wasn’t convinced. What if the monsters just found us while we were driving? What if he was right, and it was me—the hole in my chest and the black edges I could see trying to press against the red string that connected us—that called the things to us?

What then?

I swallowed hard, and it took me a second to realize I was leaning into his hand—my fingers had drifted up, and I’d brought it to my cheek.

He’d just let me do it without saying a word.

It made me jerk back, and I crossed my arms over my chest like the damn things had betrayed me.

“If you think it won’t get us attacked again. I don’t know how many times I can save you, you know?”

I aimed for arrogance, and it seemed to work, because Wren rolled his eyes and stepped across the room, grabbing his bow and slipping it pointedly over his shoulder.

“I wasn’t prepared last time. I am now. Come on.” He started out the door, and I felt something in my chest squeeze tight again.

What if there were people out there?

What if I saw someone, and I was the one he had to defend himself from?

What if—I darted forward before the thoughts could completely overtake me, and I kept my lips pressed tightly together when I crowded close to his side. I didn’t take his hand, but my shoulder bumped into his, and I felt a burst of relief as the tension melted from my chest.

I hated this.

I hated that I wanted to be so close to him.

I hated that my body knew what he felt like, knew what it meant when I could let go, when I could stop hurting…

I hated him for giving me that when I still wasn’t sure I could keep it… But apparently, I didn’t hate him enough to stop, because when he slid his hand down between us and flipped his palm to offer it to me, I let out a low grunt of derision and slipped my fingers into his.

I hated him, but it wasn’t enough to stop me from touching him, apparently.

We made it to the store without issue. I was worried we were going to get jumped at every turn, that something would slam into the side of the car and we’d have to fight again. Instead, I listened to Wren give an explanation about night shifts to the driver and silently kept my fingers entwined with his as we rode to one of the twenty-four-hour stores on the edge of town.

I kept my eyes to the ground as we walked inside, and waited until Wren spoke before I lifted my head.

“We’re fine. There’s no one here but us. I’ll keep an eye on the door—just keep your back turned and go pick out whatever you need.” He gestured to the aisles in front of us, and I frowned at him.

“I don’t—”

“Have money to pay. I know. Just go.”

When I hesitated for another second, he frowned. “It’s fine, Theo. Look, I get paid for this cupid shit… I might as well spend the money on something.”

Since I didn’t want to tell him that my hesitation stemmed from not wanting to walk away from him, I bit my tongue and stepped forward, only going as far as the rack of shirts in front of us. I didn’t look at him when I spoke.

“You don’t sound like you enjoy your job much.” My voice was barely a whisper, but he seemed to hear it just fine.

There was silence behind me for so long that I thought he wasn’t going to answer. I grabbed a few shirts without paying attention—dark on dark. It would show less blood if they got dirty again.

I’d given up on an explanation when Wren stepped forward and handed me a white button up with a dark jacket. I frowned, but took it. “I think I enjoyed it in the beginning? I’m not sure.” His expression turned bitter. “It’s hard when you spend your time watching mortals fall in love over and over again and you don’t understand it. I’ve never been able to…” He drifted off, his dark brows so drawn together I wondered if it hurt. When he half tossed a pair of red suspenders at me, I caught them without a word.

This wasn’t my style, but it seemed to distract him. It gave me an opening to press.

“You can’t feel?”

“Couldn’t.” He corrected, and the flash of his violet eyes glancing up at me like he was trying to make a point was nearly a lance in my chest.

“Right. Before…” I didn’t say anything, and he caught my wrist when my hand raised to tug on the red thread again.

“Before this. Yes. A century of feeling nothing but the joy of killing, the thrill of almost dying, the knowledge that it was just that. Endlessly. Forever. A century of seeing eyes go soft when a human found the person they were supposed to be with… A century of knowing that once upon a time, I was a human like that too.” He dropped my wrist, but I felt the sweep of his thumb along the underside, trailing my pulse that had picked up without warning. When he stepped away from me and handed me a leather jacket that looked entirely too expensive, I shook my head.

He thrust it into my arms anyway and shrugged.

“Wren…”

“Like I said, I get paid for this. I have more money than I need, more time than I want, and nothing to do with any of it. Get the fucking jacket, Theo. It’ll look good on you.” His eyes glanced up the aisle and he gestured. “Get anything you want.”

It’ll look good on you .

I shouldn’t have fixated on that, but I kept the words trapped behind my ribcage when I finally wandered away from him and started to grab a few things so I wouldn’t look like the half-homeless killer I actually was.

I spent longer shopping than I ever had in my entire life… and even then, it was only twenty minutes of us grabbing clothes and a few essentials, then a backpack to put it all in. I didn’t know if Wren had all the same needs as a normal human, but he still threw a few food itemsI didn’t ask for into a cart. He pretended not to notice when I trailed into random aisles, grabbing a toothbrush and deodorant, a few other necessities I hadn’t thought about when I’d run out into the rain and left everything behind. He just shrugged and waved his hand.

“Get whatever you need.”

Fuck, what a life, being able to say that. There’d been times when I had to choose between food and shampoo, and suddenly the world was open to me. I was torn between irritation and wanting to… tease him. The latter won out, and I made a show of tossing a bottle of lube into the cart with an arched brow.

The asshole just watched me calmly, without saying a word, and I realized I wasn’t sure if I was trying to provoke him or inviting him to use it. I almost dumped the contents of the cart and left the store.

Almost.

Wren didn’t bat an eye at the price when we checked out, even though it was more money than I usually saw in months.

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him he was a privileged little shit, and I might have done it to break some of the calmness that was spilling between us before I tried to settle into the sensation of it… and then I saw it.

Out of the corner of my eye.

A flicker of red—and the rage that roared through me was so painful I doubled over.

Wren was there in an instant, forcing his body between the vision of the two women holding hands and me. That didn’t stop me from trying to lunge forward, my clawed hands scrambling, my voice coming out in a snarl.

And then there was a rush of air as his wings burst from his back, fanning forward and flooding my mind with the scent of chocolate and berries.

The growl died in my throat, and I fell to my knees in front of him. He didn’t stop me when my head dropped forward against his thigh… and I didn’t stop him when his fingers shifted, tangling in my hair to hold me there until the sound of the voices faded away.

That heat was still burning in my chest—it hurt to the point that I could feel my eyes stinging with tears. All of this ached, felt like it was trying to break me apart from the inside out.

As long as this was happening, it was never going to be safe for me to be outside. Maybe I didn’t like people much, but I couldn’t imagine a world where I locked myself away for the rest of forever because I couldn’t look anyone in the eye without wondering if I was going to see the red trail of their soulmate spilling out behind them.

A century of seeing people falling in love, Wren had said—a century of that, and he hated it.

What was I going to do if I was like this for longer?

I stayed there on the dirty ground, with Wren’s wings blocking my vision of everything behind us—they curled forward like he could shelter the world from my viciousness if he was precise enough.

Or maybe he was trying to shelter me.

I wasn’t sure.

I just knew that after a few seconds, I took a deep breath and swallowed hard enough that it hurt.

“I can’t keep doing this,” I whispered softly. Wren’s fingers in my hair tightened at my words, prickling to just this side of pain. It grounded me, made me take in another deep breath, and he nodded.

“I know.”

I know , he said, like that was a fucking answer at all. I finally lifted my head to snap at him, but he was looking down at me with an expression I couldn’t read, and his fingers tightened again.

“Then what am I supposed to do, Wren?” I hated it—my voice was full of pain I couldn’t hide. His fingers in my hair held me tight, and his wings around me were the only fucking anchor that was keeping me from losing my mind.

And still… I knew… I knew that if I’d lunged forward, if I’d made my way past him, he would have stopped me. He would have pulled the bow from his back and shot me.

And I…

Fuck. Maybe I deserved it.

“I think I know somewhere we can go. He should be able to keep us safe while we figure this out. You just have to hold on for a few days while I work things out.”

His words brought me up short. He sounded like he’d shocked himself saying them, but now that they’d left his lips he wasn’t going to take them back. He tugged on my hair, and the sensation brought me to my feet with a little wince. He didn’t stop until I was standing, and I noticed his wings were still out, spread behind him, circling around us.

Us .

Somewhere we can go.

My gaze lifted to meet his, and I took a shaking breath.

Berries and sweetness.

Soft memories.

My world swam in the depths of Wren’s violet eyes as he looked me over like he was searching for a sign that I was going to try to get past him, that I was going to lose myself. Instead, I stretched my hand out and placed it on the center of his chest. He tensed for just a moment, then relaxed when he realized I wasn’t trying to hurt him, though my fingers were still tipped with dark claws.

His heartbeat was a soft tempo, and after a few more seconds of drawing in gulps of air that echoed the sensation of his cool calmness running through my body, I nodded.

I couldn’t say it aloud, but at the end of the day… there was no other option.

I had to trust that he knew what he was talking about.

I had to trust Wren.