Page 17 of Love on Ice (Love in Terengia #5)

17

IS HE TALKING TO ME?

Sebastian

I'm lifting a stack of hats and helmets from the shelf above my coat rack when I hear a key being turned in my apartment door.

My heart immediately beats faster. There’s only one person who has a key to my apartment — Michael!

The door opens and he's standing in front of me in his yellow puffer jacket, black knit beanie, and with a crooked smile on his face. I, on the other hand, still have my hands stretched above my head balancing the stacked hats and helmets on the shelf.

"I hope I’m not interrupting?" he asks.

I shake my head. Michael could never be an interruption! But what’s he doing here?

Before I ask, I’m forced to duck as it starts raining hats and helmets. Clearly my effort to keep them in place hasn’t worked. The soft plop of the hats and the loud crack of the helmets mingles with a merry laugh.

I’m briefly stunned, but then Michael’s not the only one who is laughing. The tension that’s been building since yesterday erupts in a huge bark of a laugh which all too soon turn into sobs. I can't take it anymore. I can’t put on a good face any longer. I can't pretend to be Michael's best friend and nothing more.

He wraps his arms around me so tightly it’s almost a shock. I stare into his beautiful blue-green eyes with my startled ones, and I see only one thing: love.

I blink. I can’t really believe my eyes. I stand rooted to the spot, arms still stretched above my head, staring at Michael. Then he lifts one hand and runs it with infinite tenderness over one of my stubbly cheeks.

Without taking his eyes from mine for even a second, his lips move.

"I love you."

Is he talking to me?

I almost turn around to see if he’s talking to someone behind me. Did he bring Annabelle along for this impromptu visit and she’s was standing behind me or something?

The reality is, I know no one is behind me. Still, I can't believe what I'm seeing. I have to ask, have to clarify, have to know if he’s serious. My heart wouldn’t survive a misunderstanding now.

I still have my hands stretched above my head, so I slowly lower them and ask cautiously, "You love me?"

Michael

Watching Sebastian signing his question is almost painful. There is so much uncertainty in his gaze, as if it were impossible for me to love him. My heart grows heavy at the thought of what he’s been through. How did he cope with being in love with me for so long and not say anything? Assuming that Linus was right about Sebastian's feelings. I’ve been a bag of nerves since I acknowledged my feelings for him and it’s only been a year!

"Yes, I love you, Sebastian!" I confirm, hoping I’ve made my feelings unmistakably clear.

He tilts his head towards me and butterflies fly excitedly in my stomach. He wants to kiss me! But before his lips touch mine, he jerks back as if someone’s hit him. He takes a step to the side, tearing himself away from my arms.

Oh god! Linus has interpreted everything all wrong and I stupidly believed him.

Sebastian looks pained as he signs the next sentence. "You can't love me. You love Annabelle and your daughter."

He’s being such a martyr!

I shake my head vigorously.

"Even if Vicky were my daughter — which she isn't — that wouldn't change how I feel about you. Yes, I loved Annabelle once, but that was a long time ago." I take a deep breath. There's no point in hiding things now. "I've been in love with you for over a year."

Sebastian stares at me, his eyes wide, as if he still can't believe what I'm saying. Nervously, I take a step closer to him.

"Honestly! I haven't slept with Annabelle since we broke up." A wry smile crosses my face as I brace myself to admit another truth. It's a little embarrassing, but maybe it will help convey to Sebastian how serious I am. "Actually, I haven't had sex with anyone since then — except you."

It’s the simple truth. At first, it was because I was too hurt from the breakup to be interested in anyone else. Then I started developing feelings for Sebastian and was too confused to be jumping into bed with someone else .

Sebastian is still staring at me in shock, and I start to doubt myself again. What if Linus is wrong? Am I making a fool of myself here? Then, when Sebastian turns on his heel and hurries straight into his living room, my heart sinks into my pants.

So, it wasn't just the situation with Annabelle that caused him to run off yesterday. Tears gather in my eyes as I turn back to open the front door.

Sebastian

I can't believe it. Michael loves me! Annabelle's child isn’t his! He wants me, not her!

The helmet pops into my mind. It’s the one reason why Michael found me still at home. The helmet with the wonderful message from Michael's absolute favorite hockey player. I left it on the windowsill in the living room earlier. I didn't want to use it in case I damaged the autograph. I rush into the living room to retrieve the precious object. As I turn to go back into the front room, I see Michael reaching for the front door.

What is he doing? Why is he leaving?

I sprint across my apartment and stop him with my hand on his shoulder. When he turns around, the pain in his gaze feels like a punch. What happened in the few seconds I had my back turned? I replay our conversation in my head, and the scales fall from my eyes. Damn it! I didn’t answer him.

Moments ago, the helmet was my most precious possession. Now I carelessly drop it and sign frantically, "I believe you! I love you too! I've been in love with you … forever. Please, don't go."

The tears that had gathered in the corners of Michael's eyes start trailing down his cheeks, and the next moment his arms are around me. I inhale his wonderful smell deeply. He smells fresh, of mountain herbs and home. He places gentle kisses on my neck. A tremor runs through my entire body. I never thought I’d be in Michael’s arms like this again. And now he is all mine!

For a moment, I can remain still in his arms and enjoy the feeling. Then I let my hands go on a wandering tour. I run my fingers down Michael’s arms, his jacket rustling under my touch. He always seems to be wearing too much. I can hardly wait for summer when I don't have to peel my sexy man out of thousands of layers every time!

These thoughts are like wisps of mist carried away by the wind when Michel's tender lips reach for my own. A moan rolls deep from my soul as they touch mine for the first time since we arrived back in Vienna. I open them immediately — I want more. I want all of him!

Unlike me, Michael wants to go slowly. Instead of pushing his tongue into my willing mouth, he caresses my lips with the gentle press of his own against mine. Then I feel his teeth on my lower lip as he nibbles along it before stroking his tongue over the bitten skin. This kiss is so gentle, so tender, so intimate that my chest tightens. The feelings I’ve suppressed for so long bubble to the surface and dance.

Michael

Kissing Sebastian like this is a gift. I can't get enough of touching him this gently. It may sound strange, but I feel that with each little kiss, the connection between us grows stronger, and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. I guess I won't be satisfied until I've covered his whole body, every single inch of it, with kisses.

I take my time nestling against his hard body. Sebastian is so masculine. Everything about him excites me — his hard muscles pressing against me, his cock that’s become rock hard in seconds, his slightly scraggly stubble that contrasts so wonderfully with his soft lips.

Sebastian breaks the kiss and gazes at me with a look that makes my knees go weak. There’s so much love in his eyes, but heat and desire too. I could get lost in his chocolate brown eyes, especially when they are sparkling like this.

"I love you!"

This time he signs the words, and my heart leaps when I see these wonderful words in my first language.

"Me too!" I answer, and for the first time in who knows how long, I’m completely content. I’m at peace with myself and the world.

It’s then that Sebastian starts tugging off my jacket. A coy grin spreads across my face. I love that he’s so eager to touch me — that he finds me hot.

I do my best to help him so it doesn't take too long for us to get completely naked. We’re still in the hallway, though, so I take a step back. I don't want a quick fuck against the front door. I want what I’d just been fantasizing about. I want to cover Sebastian's whole body with kisses. I want to caress him, touch him all over. I want him to do the same to me. I want him inside me.

I falter for a moment, but a deep certainty spreads through me. I’m ready for this. I want to feel Sebastian inside me. I want him to take me. As soon as I finish that thought, I can hardly wait.

I force myself to take a deep breath. Then I share my plans, "Let's go to your bedroom. I want to kiss every inch of you."

A ripple of anticipation runs through his wonderful body. I love that I have this effect on him!

"And then I want you to make love to me."

Unexpectedly, I feel the heat of a little blush on my cheeks as I say this and hope that Sebastian can't see it in the dim light of his hall. What is wrong with me? I'm not usually this nervous when it comes to sex. I’m the type of person to give anything a try at least once. If it doesn't feel good, there are plenty of things that will.

Maybe I've blown the whole thing up too much in my head, but I'm not afraid of it. It may be a little uncomfortable at first, but I trust Sebastian to take things slowly.