Page 21 of Lost Lyrebird

He cuts me off.“If you were his, or mine.I don’t want to dance to this tune anymore, Lily.I need to know.One way or the other.If he’s not the one, then maybe you come back to me.Maybe you finally come back whole.”

“After the job, though, first, right?Fix things for the club first?You think he’s still going to give a fuck about me when he finds out why I’m here?”A heavy pause follows, each of us clinging to our piece of the past.

“If he’s the man you thought he was…”

“He doesn’t remember me, Deck!Looked me right in the face and didn’t know who I was.So, what the fuck ever.It’s a moot point.”

I hear a thump.Then another.He’s smacking his chest like he does, hisoffswitch.“Like I said.Two birds, one stone.”

“You’re a real asshole.”

It’s a long time before either of us speaks again, although I know he’s still there, just breathing and thinking on the other end of the line.

“You don’t have to get close to him now.No messy past, no emotions.”

I’d have to act like we never happened.He’d be my boss, so there was no escaping him entirely unless I scrapped the idea of working at the strip club altogether, since I don’t need the job to get close to the club.

“If shit goes sour, we’ll pull you out.Just say the word.”

“Your faith in me is astounding,” I say, with all the sarcasm I can muster.

“You can do this, Gypsy.We need you to do this.”

“I know.I will.It’s just a mind fuck.Don’t worry, I’ll handle it like always.”

“I’ll have Bones sweep your background and replace it with the Vegas job cover.”

“Okay.”

“Watch yourself.And call me if shit goes south.”

“I will.”

We’re both silent until he adds, “I care more about you makin’ it out whole than anythin’ else.I hope you believe that.”

Picking at some lint on the comforter, I nod.“I do.”Do I sound bitter?Yes, I fucking do.But I do know this.

“Good.”More quietly, he says, “Take your time.There’s plenty of it before we make our move.Focus on dancin’, gettin’ yourself set up.Let them warm up to you.”

Deeds doesn’t know this, but I love him as much as someone like me can.He’s the older brother I never had.The lover I miss.A little fucked up, yes, but that’s us in a nutshell.

“Remember why you’re there, Gypsy.Not only to pay back the favor you owe me, but to cripple every piece of shit who wronged you.”

His words coil through me.Bolstering me, helping me replace my mental walls.I can’t forget why I’m here.It’s not just about the debt.Or about righting the past and paying back the Thirteen Devils for what they did to me.This is about war, and the innocents caught between many forces.

Before he drops off the line, I say, “So, this is it then.I’m on my own.And I’m one of them.”

He pauses.His voice goes tight and hoarse.“You’ll always be one of us.But yeah, you’re one of them now, too.So be the best stripper, clubpiece, or old lady—if it comes to that—you can be.It’s the only way this works.”His tone softens, like when he’s whispering into my ear.“But fuck, I miss you already.”

Through the melancholy, a small smile stretches across my lips.At the same time, a familiar ache starts between my thighs.“Me too.”

“When it’s done, maybe…”

“What?”

“Maybe we talk about us, yeah?”

A weighty silence is my answer.Because I don’t know what to say.In the end, I speak his name softly.“Decker.”