Page 25 of Looking for Group

“There’s a guy on my course,” said Drew, “who refuses to play The Game.”

Kit blinked. “What does that even mean?”

“It’s kind of weird actually. It just means that every time someone loses The Game he goes into this speech about how he doesn’t play The Game because, like, he’s like not a follower or something. I think he actually used the word sheeple at one point.”

Kit flinched, a bit theatrically, but it was cute.

“But the thing is, he’s basically playing this boring meta game of his own, which means he spends all his time waiting for people to mention The Game so he can object.

It’s like he takes it way more seriously than anybody who actually plays it, and has way less fun.

” Drew paused, and picked thoughtfully at his muffin. “By the way, do you want some?”

Kit nodded, and they sat there companionably, sharing a muffin

And it didn’t feel weird at all. In fact, it was even better than killing frogmen in a swamp.

“Actually,” Drew went on, “thinking about it, the funny thing about The Game is that the most hardcore way to play it is the most casual. Like if you actually care about going a long time not thinking about The Game—”

Kit yelped. “We are losing The Game so hard right now.”

“Omg, nerf conversations. But, anyway, if you actually care about winning The Game, you’re going to lose The Game, whereas if you don’t give a crap about The Game at all, you can do pretty well at it.”

“To be honest, I’d never really thought about it.”

“Well, I’m kind of interested in games, and the way they work. Uh, obviously.”

Kit was nodding thoughtfully. “I guess it’s a social thing as well. Because, as you say, you can’t really play The Game seriously. What it really becomes is a sort of signal. Like wearing a Dinosaur Comics T-shirt.”

“Oh don’t.” Drew folded his arms self-consciously over the killer whale. “I really wish I’d worn a shirt. You’re all smart, and I look like I made no effort.”

“No, it’s perfect. I’ve got ‘Partying Is Such Sweet Sorrow’ at home, but I only wear it for running.”

That gave Drew an image he wasn’t quite ready for: Kit, tousled and a little bit sweaty, jogging through the trees in Victoria Park or something. In his nerdy T-shirt. “It’s probably a good thing you didn’t wear it. We’d have looked a right pair of numpties.”

“Or the Leicester Chapter of the Ryan North Fan Club.” 2

Drew laughed into his hands, and then sort of panicked because he couldn’t think of anything funny to add. “So you like running, huh?” Shit. That was even worse.

“Yeah.” Kit nodded. “Well, since I spend all my time gaming or in lectures, it’s kind of my bastion against having a heart attack at the age of forty-three.”

Drew dropped his voice a couple of octaves and adopted a faux cowboy accent. “‘Kid just rages for a while.’”

Kit stared at him, not unkindly but clearly bemused.

“Sorry, you said ‘bastion.’”

“Oh right, I haven’t played it. I don’t do so much gaming outside of HoL .”

“It’s good 3 . It’s basically just an action RPG, but it’s got this cool voice-over that kind of gives context to all the pointless shit you normally do in that sort of game, like smashing barrels with a hammer, and stuff.”

Kit smiled shyly at him. “I might take a look at it.”

“I’d wait for a Steam sale. It’s about a tenner most of the time.

And the sequel’s pretty cool too. It has a killer soundtrack, although I think you’re supposed to be in love with your sword, which is a bit weird.

” He stopped babbling. And then babbled in a different direction.

“I mean, you could come round and try it on my desktop if you want. See if you like it.”

“I bet you say that to all the boys.”

Drew spluttered, and knew he was blushing, but it wasn’t a bad feeling. “I picked up AssCreed IV in the last sale as well. I thought it was worth it because you get to be a pirate.”

“I kind of lost track of the series. I think I got the first one for my thirteenth birthday.” 4

It was strange being able to watch Kit talk. He was sort of quiet and gentle and seemed to really think about things before he said them. Drew imagined he would be just the same typing.

“All I can remember,” Kit was saying, “is having to ride a horse really slowly around twelfth-century Jerusalem because if you dared to gallop everyone would immediately work out you were an assassin.”

“Yeah, they kind of got better, then they got worse, and now it’s good again. You get, like, a pirate ship and, well, a pirate ship. I mean, seriously, what more do you want.”

“Does it come with Orlando Bloom?” Kit arched his eyebrows hopefully. 5

“No, it comes with really OP swivel guns.”

Kit laughed. “Well, I’m in, then.”

He had a nice laugh, with a slightly uncertain edge to it, which made Drew feel strangely protective. Then he realised he was staring and smiling and probably looking like an idiot. “Shit, sorry, you were talking about running, and I completely derailed you with that stupid Bastion reference.”

“Oh, I thought you were trying to invite me back to your room.”

They eyed each other nervously, trying to work out how far was too far. Drew thought, Screw it , and decided this wasn’t it. He was on a date. With a boy. And the boy was flirting with him, and that was okay. “Yeah, I only bring the pirates out on special occasions.”

Kit faffed with the wooden pokey thing they’d given him with his mocha. After a moment or two he looked up a bit sheepishly. “Sorry, that’s really nice, in a piratey kind of way, and I don’t know what to say. I don’t think I’m very good at this.”

“What, you mean…” Drew made a really unhelpful hand gesture.

“I don’t know how to say this without making myself sound completely pathetic and desperate, but I’ve never actually been on a date before. And I think I’m having a good time, but I’m still as nervous as hell.”

“If it helps, I’m definitely having a good time.”

Kit ran a hand through his hair, making it go all fluffy. “It’s easier behind a keyboard. You’ve got more thinking time so you can sound way cleverer than you are, and you can sort of take more chances.”

“Like how?”

“You’ve got this…wriggle room, I guess? I think because it’s hard to know exactly what someone means, if something goes wrong, you can pretend it didn’t.

But now I feel like I’m sitting here with this big flashing sign over my head saying ‘I really like you,’ so if I put my foot in it or I say something embarrassing, then I won’t be able to course correct, and you’ll be right there, staring at me, and thinking, ‘Wow, this guy is a loser.’”

For a moment, Drew just gazed at him, a little bit stunned. Nobody had ever been quite that open with him before. It struck him as weirdly valiant, and made him feel kind of warm and smooshy and a little bit embarrassed. “Honestly, Kit. I’d never think you were a loser.”

The next thing he knew, he’d reached out, and there he was, holding another guy’s hand over the table. He looked down, and thought, Oh . Because it was fine.

Kit’s strong, elegant fingers tightened around his. “So, I’m doing it right, then?”

Drew smiled. “Yeah.”

They kept chatting for a while, still holding hands, until Drew got self-conscious and panicked that he’d come across way too intense.

“Um, is this okay? I mean, this is an okay thing to do? With like…” He tried to gesture, but since he was already holding Kit’s hand all he did was kind of jiggle it like a mouse.

“It’s really okay.” Kit smiled at him. “If I’m being a bit odd it’s because I probably am a bit odd, but also because I’m still a bit scared you’ll decide this was a terrible mistake.”

“I’m honestly happy we did this, and I’d really like to—” Unfortunately, at that moment, Drew’s phone bleeped at him. He glanced at it in horror. “Shit. On the subject of terrible mistakes, we’re both supposed to be raiding in about fifteen minutes.”

Kit’s eyes went very wide. Which, Drew couldn’t help noticing, made them very pretty, but this really wasn’t the time. “Oh my God, we suck.”

They both leaped into action, untangling their hands, sweeping up their various belongings, pulling on their coats. They gazed at each other in panic.

Drew flailed. “I want to stay stuff and I’m pretty sure this isn’t how to end a date, but I don’t want to let the guild down.”

“No, it’s fine. See you in Crown of Thorns.”

“We’ll do this again, right?”

“Absolutely.”

They crashed into a hasty, awkward, clumsy approximation of a hug.

One of Drew’s hands went into Kit’s armpit and Kit bashed his shoulder into Drew’s chin.

But that was sort of where they were so they went with it, and Drew clutched and Kit squeezed—and he couldn’t quite tell in the panic, but he was pretty sure Kit’s lips brushed against his cheek.

Then they ran for it.