Page 22 of Looking for Group
Drew was competitive enough that he didn’t even type “you’re on” before alt-tabbing.
He soon realised that while the site was an indispensable resource for loot tables, gear lists, and build planners, it was surprisingly low on pages tagged “How to get out of the damn starting areas.” There was a page for basically every quest in HoL , so if there was a chain that took you from Krytos to the Bone Wastes he’d be able to find it, but then it was a game of “Guess what the low-level quest is called that takes you to the place you want to go.” Turned out, this was one of the few games that Drew was legitimately terrible at.
He was about to resort to googling “how to get out of Minea without a flight path” when he realised enough time had passed that he’d probably lost.
[Group][Aconite]: Jacob says there’s two boats manned by rival elvish captains in the NW of the city
[Group][Aconite]: There’s also a dude in the Temple of Serpentis who’ll give us a quest to speak to one of them
[Group][Aconite]: Drew?
[Group][Aconite]: Are you still there? 3
[Group][Aconite]: Are you still checking HoLhead?
[Group][Efthalia]: okay you won
[Group][Aconite]: Ooh, what do I get?
[Group][Efthalia]: A luxury elvish cruise, a romantic walk through a swamp and this [Musty Shepherd’s Sandal]
[Group][Aconite]: Wow. Thank you.
[Group][Aconite]: I’m a bit worried about this [Musty Shepherd’s Sandal] though.
[Group][Aconite]: Do you think it belonged to a Musty Shepherd. Or do you think it is itself musty?
[Group][Efthalia]: Could be both
[Group][Aconite]: Wouldn’t that be a Musty Shepherd’s [Musty Sandal]?
[Group][Efthalia]: Or a Musty Shepherd’s [Musty Shepherd’s Sandal]
[Group][Efthalia]: Now come on, dude, we’ll miss the boat
They nipped over to the Temple of Serpentis and picked up a quest from a priestess who informed them that the once mighty empire of the medusas was being courted by both sides in the ongoing conflict between the high and dark elves, and that they were to go immediately to support the side of their choosing.
At the docks, they found two contrastingly dressed elves with question marks above their heads.
The high elf looked a bit like Ialdir, with long golden braids and a haughty expression.
His boat was a silver swan rising delicately out of the water.
The dark elvish envoy was a cleavagey pirate, her ship covered with an implausible number of spikes.
Needless to say, they went with her.
As soon as Drew had clicked through the dialogue, a loading screen popped up showing two angry-looking elves glaring at one another, and a dodgy medusa being mysterious and shadowy in the middle.
You have discovered Tormenter’s Bay.
[Group][Aconite]: Wow, I haven’t been back here since Sol was level 14.
[Group][Efthalia]: i’ve never been here
[Group][Efthalia]: now I think about it i’ve basically not been on this whole continent except the capitals
[Group][Aconite]: Are you elvist or something?
[Group][Efthalia]: i was just always more about endgame
[Group][Efthalia]: i’ve only got three alts
[Group][Aconite]: No wonder you’re the best geared tank on the server
[Group][Efthalia]: lol
[Group][Aconite]: Well TB is your classic hive of scum and villainy. It’s run by dark elf pirates
[Group][Aconite]: It’s way cooler than the Glittering Cove, which is where the smelly high elves take you
[Group][Aconite]: There’s actually quite a decent quest line where you have to track down this cult that’s trying to summon an ancient sea god that totally isn’t Cthulhu
[Group][Efthalia]: you can give me the guided tour after we’ve done BM
[Group][Aconite]: Absolutely. We can have a quiet drink in the Iron Maiden
They made their way north over the blasted heaths surrounding Tormenter’s Bay, trying to avoid the level twelve Ash-Touched Bears that lurked close to the port. 4
You have discovered The Fetid Morass.
[Group][Aconite]: You really know how to show a boy a good time
[Group][Efthalia]: hey this was your idea
As much as Drew appreciated the design effort that went into much of the game, he had to admit that the Fetid Morass was just a bit dull.
It was all grey-brown pools of water, grey-brown trees, and the occasional creepily glowing mushroom.
He followed Aconite’s bobbing snakes to the edge of a vast, dismal lake.
[Group][Aconite]: So you sort of have to swim down to it
[Group][Efthalia]: omg
[Group][Efthalia]: wtf
[Group][Efthalia]: are you seriously telling me that the entry-level group content
[Group][Efthalia]: is hidden at the bottom of the swamp
[Group][Aconite]: That’s how they rolled in vanilla 5
[Group][Aconite]: It was actually pretty exciting the first time I came here
[Group][Aconite]: Jacob brought me on an alt run
[Group][Efthalia]: did he tell you the whole history
[Group][Aconite]: Actually, there’s surprisingly little lore on this one
[Group][Aconite]: It sort of ties into the cult thing in TB but that never comes up again
[Group][Aconite]: Basically we swim in, beat up some evil frogmen, and fight an elemental
[Group][Efthalia]: bring it
They plunged into the murky water and, painfully slowly, swam towards the centre of the lake. About halfway through, Drew noticed his health going down quickly.
[Group][Efthalia]: wa11111wwaaaa
[Group][Efthalia]: help
He frantically swivelled the camera around until he located his attacker: an implausibly large fish that was chewing on Efthalia’s defenceless nethers.
He attempted to summon the elemental forces of fire to defend himself but the relentless assault of his fishy opponent kept interrupting his spellcasting.
[Group][Aconite]: omg
[Group][Aconite]: omw
[Group][Efthalia]: ahhhhhh
Efthalia was killed by Irate Turbot: bite (4)
Efthalia has died.
Efthalia’s body floated limply in the brownish water.
[Group][Aconite]: I will avenge you!
There was an explosion of purple shadow.
[Group][Aconite]: My name is Aconite. You killed my…the other medusa I hang around with. Prepare to die!
As Drew watched, the evil fish was consumed by tendrils of dark magic and flipped belly-up alongside Efthalia.
[Group][Efthalia]: rez plox
[Group][Aconite]: Um, this is a pure DPS class
[Group][Aconite]: You’re the one with the rez
[Group][Efthalia]: ffs
Drew clicked Release Spirit and the world faded to shades of grey and blue. His ghost appeared at the nearest graveyard, and he began the undignified jog back to his corpse.
A few minutes later, Efthalia was alive and doing her ridiculous swim animation as the two medusas continued their descent towards the Bubbling Mire.
You have discovered The Bubbling Mire.
Another loading screen: this one showed a frogman with a spear. It wasn’t exactly threatening, but since Drew had just been killed by an angry fish, he was withholding judgement.
Efthalia and Aconite appeared in the mouth of a dripping-wet cave, illuminated by more of the glowy mushrooms he’d seen on the surface. Ahead of them, two frogmen were standing around, ready to be killed.
[Group][Efthalia]: tacs
[Group][Aconite]: Um
[Group][Aconite]: Well, I thought we could tank it with my Doomshadow
[Group][Efthalia]: you want me to heal your pet.
[Group][Aconite]: Well, it’s got more health than either of us and it’s the only one in the party with an actual taunt.
[Group][Efthalia]: this does not feel like a pro move
[Group][Aconite]: Welcome to healing
[Group][Aconite]: Dignity is something that happens to other classes
[Group][Efthalia]: I could try to storm tank it
[Group][Aconite]: And I could keep you alive with my zero healing spells
[Group][Efthalia]:…
[Group][Aconite]: Honestly. You tanks. You really do think your health stays up on its own, don’t you?
[Group][Efthalia]: ok ok
[Group][Efthalia]: just let me spend my ONE talent point
[Group][Efthalia]: and quickbar my TWO healing spells
On some level, Drew was aware he might be taking this too seriously.
He set up a couple of targeting macros and rearranged his interface to centralise his party’s health bars.
Beside him, Aconite jumped up and down, and finally started the longish ritual to summon the blobby demon that would be responsible for keeping them alive and unmolested in the dungeon.
[Charnos] says: I have been called
[Aconite] says: Yes. Yes you have.
[Aconite] says: Now, pay close attention, this is a three-phase fight and your top prio is keeping the mobs off the healing team.
[Group][Efthalia]: lol
[Group][Aconite]: Right. We’re probably going to die horribly because I’ve never played a tanking class or a pet class
[Group][Aconite]: And I’m really not sure Charnos was paying attention when I told him the tacs
Charnos was, in fact, gazing around distractedly. It was probably just a quirk of the animation, but it wasn’t very reassuring. A couple of raid markers popped up over the heads of the patiently waiting frogmen.
[Efthalia] says: Dude, focus.
[Group][Aconite]: I’ll send him against star. We probably need to give him a couple of seconds to establish threat
[Group][Aconite]: Do you have [Incapacitating Wind]?
[Group][Efthalia]: yeah but i’m taking something for it
[Group][Aconite]: Okay, so you wind dildo
[Group][Aconite]: Charnos will take star
[Group][Aconite]: And…we’ll see if we live.
Efthalia stepped forward and began to gather the elemental forces of the storm. A vortex of swirling wind lifted one of the frogmen into the air, and the other one hopped slowly forwards with what might have been a murderous look in its eyes. Except… frog.
Charnos drifted out to meet it and there was a dicey moment when Drew really wasn’t certain if a level ten summoned creature was able to stand up to a level twelve elite.
The demon’s health bar wasn’t exactly plummeting, but it was going down pretty quickly.
Pulse pounding, Drew quickly threw a Life Seed on it and then followed up with a Nourishing Soil.