Page 54 of Little Wing (Shades of Fairhaven #1)

T he mind could truly be a fickle thing.

Even after I met with the detective and opened the flood gates on all my trauma over the past few centuries, I still didn’t feel certain of the outcome of Luca’s sentencing.

Detective Morello tried to assure me that my testimony was going to be a great help to me, and even help push the sentencing up to an earlier date than he first thought.

That, however, did very little to eliminate my anxiety.

Silas continued to research ways that I could be separated from the tether to my brother, especially if he would be given the death sentence. My brain anticipated the worst, drowning in the what ifs while Silas tried to calm me down.

But truly—what would happen to me? Would I, as Luca’s spawn, also cease to exist? Would a switch inside me turn off? Would I die?

The questions kept coming in waves, mainly on days when I had no other distraction.

Work was done for the night, and I got home before Silas.

For the first time in a while, I was truly alone in his home.

Mateo and Quinn had taken to spending more nights at her place, which gave me and Silas enough time to try quieting my weary mind.

All I could do now was wait…

Wait for news about my brother’s case …

Wait to learn what would happen to me should my brother cease to exist…

Wait for Silas to come home, so I could shift my focus to something that reminded me of what it felt like to be happy and safe.

I grabbed a can of crimson from the fridge and walked back to Silas’s room where I could watch and listen to the gentle pitter-patter of rain against the window overlooking Fairhaven.

Once I took a few sips, I set the can down on the nightstand and lay down on the bed, untucking the bottom of my dress from between my legs.

Before I could ease into a gentle slumber, I heard the door open and the greeting I loved to hear.

“Lo? You home?”

I looked toward the door I had left ajar and grinned. I couldn’t describe how much I loved hearing him ask that. It was such a simple thing to ask if I was home, as if this space was shared by both of us on a regular basis.

“I’m home. I’m in the bedroom,” I replied.

Silas pushed the door open wider and leaned against the door frame before giving his stubble cheek a rough rub. “There you are.”

I patted the space beside me on the bed and smiled. “How is Little Wing?”

“Good, good,” he muttered as he stepped inside. He paced around the room and looked like he had something else to say, yet stopped himself from speaking. Before I could even ask, he turned and flipped on the light switch, making me squint. “Sorry, Lo. I really need to see you—we need to talk.”

There was an urgency in his voice that I couldn’t ignore. He was always so driven and passionate, but this was… no, something didn’t feel right. I crawled to the edge of the bed, raised myself to a kneel, and held out my hand to him .

“Silas, what’s wrong? You’re beginning to scare me.”

“Oh gods—no! This isn’t anything…” He chewed on his bottom lip and exhaled sharply. “Look, it’s just—”

Finally, he accepted my hand and crawled onto the bed. As the weight shifted around the mattress, I allowed myself to lean into him. Silas put his hands on my waist, helping lower me till I was sitting on my heels.

“I need to talk to you about something, but please promise that you won’t hate me and run off, okay?”

Well, that was quite a preface to what was likely going to be either a very uncomfortable conversation or a heartbreaking one.

I tilted my head to the side and placed my hand over his.

Though I could not outright promise how I would react, at least I could promise him my undivided attention.

I would hear him out. At this point in my existence, there was very little that could surprise me.

“I’ve been thinking about what can be done to help you when it comes to the whole tether situation.” Silas swallowed hard as his messy curls fell over his forehead. When I reached to brush his wind-blown hair from his face, I felt his smile against my wrist. “I love you, Lotus.”

I didn’t think I could ever get tired of hearing him tell me that, especially with my name in the same sentence. While it was wonderful to hear, I noticed that he couldn’t look me right in the eyes. That was unlike him.

“Silas,” I uttered softly. “What’s going on?”

“Are you familiar with claiming?” he blurted out.

I felt my breath catch. I knew very little about vampire history and anatomy during the years I spent with Luca.

We were both quite naive and under-educated about what our new existence would be like.

There were no books back then, no official records, and no guides.

There was no community with which we connected.

There was only the shame and the will to survive that got us as far as possible.

But, after we separated, I began to explore and learn everything that I could.

As Silas brought up the concept of claiming, I searched my memory for any information I had.

Vampires, due to their long lifelines, often practiced polygamy.

But if they wanted to solidify a connection beyond a physical relationship, they performed a claim on one another.

“Vampires drinking each other’s blood…” I spoke carefully, reciting the words as if I had them written in front of me.

Silas nodded. “Not for sustenance, but—”

“Love,” I whispered.

Silas nodded again. He remained quiet until a soft exhale blew past his lips, and he shifted his weight to his heels.

“Something even beyond that. When the words aren’t enough to describe the need you have for someone.

So much that you need to be connected to that person in the way most familiar to us.

” He waited for a beat, as if giving me a chance to speak.

When I remained quiet, he pursed his lips and continued.

“I… I didn’t want to bring this up,” he said before quickly adding, “not because I don’t care about you like that, though! ”

The room felt smaller as I listened to him. “W-why did you not want to then?”

His eyes were glossed over when he looked at me, finally meeting my eyes.

“Because how could I ask you to be tied to me when you’ve endured so much being connected to him?

” He did not even wish to speak his name.

Not in this room, not when what was sizzling between us was so delicate.

It was an emotion so raw I feared shifting my weight on the bed would somehow alter the outcome.

“But you would want to be tethered to me?” I asked softly, watching as his eyes quickly locked onto mine. He nodded slowly, but firmly, urging a soft gasp to slip past my lips .

Silas cupped my cheek in his hand and gently ran his thumb along my skin as he spoke.

“From the moment I met you, it felt like my world shifted. You were this strange woman who confused the hell out of me. Your makeup, demeanor—all of it. But you gave me a chance and gifted me with your story. Lotus, the first time I saw your smile, I was gone. The first time I saw your true face, I saw no one else. We’ve both lived a long time, Lo, and I know what we have is different.

You’re someone I don’t want to be without. ”

“Silas,” I whimpered, leaning deeper into his touch.

“Whether you keep me for a day or an eternity, I want whatever time I have with you. I’ll take every second and cherish it.”

I allowed his words to bathe me in affection. Words that I never imagined would be spoken to me. Before Silas had a chance to take any of them back, I pushed myself up to my knees and wrapped my arms around his neck, anchoring myself against his firm body.

Without missing a beat, our lips crashed and there was only heat. Passion reigned in our embrace as our lips moved quickly. Open-mouth kisses and dancing tongues stoking the flame between us. This longing—Oh gods—I felt it, too.

“Lotus,” he growled, pulling away from my lips to kiss my jaw, my neck, and the raised scars over my collarbone. He ran his hand gently over the new scar left by Luca and kissed it. The kindest of touches in the spot that held such a recent heartache.

I couldn’t hold back the moan that lingered in my throat as Silas continued leaving trails of wet kisses and gentle nips all over my pebbled skin.

My body was home to many scars, yet when Silas touched me, I never thought of myself as damaged.

And when I thought of wearing a marking given to me by a man I loved, I knew I would wear it with pride .

Imagining Silas claiming me sent a bolt of longing straight to my core, because I realized I wanted it.

I longed for it. I didn’t consider it as being stuck with him when I savored every second that we spent together.

Yes, we were ageless, and our world would continue to change around us, but Silas could be my constant.

He was the one I could not imagine existing without.

“Silas,” I purred, pulling him closer so that I could straddle him.

He ran his hands up my thighs eagerly and practically whimpered when he felt I had nothing else on under my dress.

After getting home from work, I liked to be comfortable and yes—this just meant one less thing for him to take off.

Silas was already hard against my needy sex.

I was positioned perfectly as I ground against him for a taste of that delicious friction.

My name rolled off his tongue in a low growl that had his eyes almost rolling to the back of his head.

His reactions to my body, my movements, my sounds—I never felt more adored than when Silas touched me. I swiftly pulled my dress up and over my head, tossing it just past the foot of the bed.

Sitting naked and straddling him, fully clothed, I wanted to give him everything. Even then it wouldn’t feel like it was enough. Even without a claiming, Silas made me feel alive, wanted, and loved.

“I just—” Silas started, moaning when I rotated my hips against his thickening erection. He gripped my thighs to halt my movements and reached to take my hand in his. “Lotus, I don’t want you to—” he blew out cold air and hummed to himself. “Fuck, you’re not making it easy.”

“What?” I asked, feigning innocence.

“Look, I don’t expect you to want this with me, Lotus. I need you to know that I respect your decision either way, but should you want this, I am yours. ”

This time it was my turn to caress his face in my hands.

Though I understood what he meant, I still leaned forward to press my lips to his forehead.

Even if this could save me from being erased from existence should Luca be sentenced to death, Silas would never force me to jump from one tether to another.

He would continue looking for safe ways to free me.

But the idea of being his, completely his, set my heart on fire with joy I didn’t think I’d ever feel again.

After Wesley, I thought I would be destined to walk this Earth just waiting for an end.

When no more words were spoken, and all that could be heard was the soft patter of rain on the balcony, I helped Silas out of his clothes until we were both stripped of any fabric between us.

Silas allowed me to touch him, relinquishing all control to me.

This decision was mine. My hands ran idly up and down his sides as I pressed kisses to his cheeks, his jaw, and down his neck.

When my hands fluttered down his stomach, to the defined lines of his muscles, I reveled in the way he shivered, taking my time before I touched his cock.

I loved this with him. I loved being allowed to experience every sensation with him.

I wanted him just as he wanted me, and I wanted him to have all of me.

Keeping his eyes on me, he bit his lip, holding back from touching me. I understood him. This was up to me. This decision would always be mine.

My need only became more desperate as I wrapped my hand around his length and gave it a few slow pumps before I begged him to touch me.

He kept one hand on my hip while the other dipped into the heat between my legs.

Slow and lazy caresses of his fingers against my wet lips had me melting into his touch.

“Yes, Silas,” I whimpered as he thumbed my clit in excruciatingly slow circles. “I want you. I want everything. ”

He leaned back as if needing to differentiate my sounds of pleasure from coherent responses. “W-what?”

“I want to be yours, completely, only if you will be mine,” I breathed, feeling his cock twitch in my hand.

Silas nodded, his lips spreading. Gods, that smile. I’d endure all the pain again just knowing I’d see it one day.

“So…” I returned the smile already laced with pleasure. “Where do we begin?”

“With me fucking you until you cannot imagine an existence without me.”