Page 35 of Little Wing (Shades of Fairhaven #1)

“ C ome on!” Reina whined, leaning over the counter while I unpacked a new delivery of bookmarks and stickers. “No makeup, the post-sex glow for literally weeks—does this guy have a magic dick or something?”

When I did not answer her right away, she threw her arms up in the air and groaned in defeat, stepping away to adjust a book that had fallen over on a display table.

I admit I held back a smile. When the bell on our door rang, Reina quickly greeted a customer with her chipper voice and promptly twirled back around to face me.

“No details? Nothing? Lotus, your sex life has been a desert as long as I’ve known you. This is basically a national holiday for me!”

While not entirely true, my sexual encounters were never anything worth divulging to my friends. My history was more transactional. We met, fucked, and then went our separate ways. There was nothing memorable or emotional about any of that to me. At least not compared to Silas.

My fingers closed around a stack of bookmarks, feeling warmth pool in my center. I could barely go a few hours without thinking about Silas and the feel of his hands on my body .

Sex with Silas was freeing, and yes—since the night we slept together, I decided to forego my makeup.

I bid farewell to the mismatched foundation, the horrendously uncomfortable contacts, and oversized sweaters that swallowed my frame.

If I wanted to wear makeup now, I kept it minimal and only wore shades that matched my complexion.

I was happy and I felt… alive.

When I stopped wearing makeup and allowed myself to smile without hiding my fangs, I found that Luca did not suddenly materialize to snatch me away.

The ground also did not split beneath my feet in response to my “disobedience”.

Maybe those rumors about him being near Fairhaven were false.

Maybe he was going to let me live my life away from him.

There was no question if he was still walking the Earth, because I still felt the tug, the tether, that tied me to him as his spawn.

I admit I wondered if I would feel his absence if something happened to him. Would something happen to me?

I chose not to dwell on the what ifs and focused my energy on what brought me joy.

I had my little family here in Fairhaven and now I had Silas who enjoyed spending time with me after work.

His enthusiasm alone had me counting down the minutes until I was done with my shifts.

Not because I disliked my job—not at all!

I just loved having something to look forward to with someone who made my heart feel as if it could burst out of my chest.

Spending time with Silas was quickly becoming a routine I didn’t want to quit.

“Lo?” Reina chirped, stirring me from my thoughts by placing a tall stack of books on the counter. “You mind checking out these nice folks before clocking out?”

I set the bookmarks aside and smiled, motioning for the young mother and daughter to approach.

As I scanned their selections, I asked them questions and made suggestions of my own, to hopefully entice them to come back.

No one ever gawked at me or made a big deal of me being a vampire.

I smiled with my fangs peeking out and I didn’t feel out of place.

I belonged. Despite what Luca conditioned me into thinking—reality did not in fact split when I revealed myself to the people of Fairhaven.

I could stand before them without any makeup, and I would be perfectly fine.

Granted, some days were more difficult as his twisted beliefs were threaded tightly into my morals, but I was patient.

It would take time to unlearn, but I was tired of hiding.

Once the young girl and her mother collected their purchase and left, Reina approached the counter once against with her arms folded across her chest.

“What’s that look for?” I asked.

“Have I mentioned how much I love seeing you this happy, Lo?”

I nodded. “In fact, you’ve told me on multiple occasions. Pretty sure you called after one of your dates, too.” My lips spread wide as I walked from around the counter to accept Reina’s hug that she offered. “I am happy, Reina. I really am.”

The confession was sweet on my tongue. Before Silas, I was content with my life in Fairhaven.

I had Reina and Kait who are like sisters to me.

I had my home and a job, but I always felt like I was living my life in black and white.

Silas became the burst of color that made me see the beauty in our existence.

The guilt that ate away at me was recycled into an opportunity to share my experiences and knowledge with younger vampires who often came to Little Wing.

I felt like I truly had a purpose now.

Then there was the added benefit of having Silas as my lover. In my few centuries of wandering this Earth, I never imagined that I would embrace another partner. I was grateful for him, and even if my heart beat slowly, I still felt the rush of emotion that had my heart skip a beat.

“You know,” Reina said, chewing on her bottom lip.

She wagged her finger and quickly pulled out her phone from the pocket of her knitted cardigan.

“Since you two are an item now, you think we can plan some double dates? Maybe I can swipe on someone who would want to spend time with some sexy vampires! I swear, last time I went out with a fanged chick she looked incredibly bored sipping her blood juice box while I ate a grilled cheese. It was like the weirdest fucking playdate.”

The image did sound quite silly.

“Why not?” I shrugged. “Little Wing is quite busy, so Silas would just need to know a bit in advance. But I don’t see why not—a double date… sounds like it could be fun.”

My best friend lowered her phone and pinched herself. “I can’t believe I’m finally hearing you say that. Hell yeah, Lotus!”

My lips twitched into a small smile that only spread wider at the feel of my phone buzzing against my thigh. I didn’t need to see the name light up my screen to know that it was Silas, who got quite good at texting me right as my shifts would end.

“Silas texting you? Like clockwork, huh?” Reina teased. “Sending you little heart emojis or dick pics?”

“Reina!” I tugged her to the side by the arm and covered my mouth. The lack of filter on her could make even young women blush. “I’ll be heading out now, spicy lady!”

Blowing me a quick kiss, Reina waved me off and stepped away to check in on another customer.

Once I left, I pulled my phone back out and confirmed that it was Silas who was checking in.

Hey! Hope you had a good shift. Checking if you wanted to volunteer tomorrow? The younger group really liked when you talked to them last week. They've been begging for more "Evans content"

I couldn’t deny how much I loved hearing that I was a welcome presence at Little Wing.

The young vampires found my experiences to be full of valuable knowledge that I once longed to forget.

Knowing I could share the history I lived through made some of those tough times a little easier to process.

It felt better sharing it than keeping it all to myself.

How could I hold it back if they wanted to learn more?

Of course! I have the day off tomorrow. I would love to come by.

Perfect. Come early if you want.

Oh?

Mhm. Need a one-on-one with you, to talk strategy and… whatnot.

Fuck it, ha! Been missing you this week. Want you all to myself for a bit before I let you loose into a sea of young vamps.

Oooh… I’d be happy to talk strategy. Worry not because I can be quite flexible.

The longer I stared at my phone, the more my cheeks hurt.

I was grinning as I joined in and made sultry remarks that would have made Reina proud.

Even while the shadows of my past lurked close behind, I pushed them further away.

I was tired of feeling like I didn’t deserve this affection from Silas.

I deserved to feel like there was nothing wrong with me.

What I endured did not brand me with a stain that deemed me undeserving. And as feelings I once felt wither began to sprout, I hoped they would grow and soon blossom.

I wanted to believe that it wasn’t too late for me.