Page 47 of Little Wing (Shades of Fairhaven #1)

G oing back to Little Wing, I understood that it wouldn’t be like stepping back in time. No matter how much I wished to erase everyone’s collective memory, I had no choice but to move forward and hope the rest could, too. With my head held high, I walked in with Silas at my side.

It only took a few moments for the vibrant chatter in the main activity room to quiet down. Many pairs of vampire eyes glided over me and Silas as we walked to the front desk where Quinn greeted us quietly.

The anxiousness in the air was difficult to miss, yet no one spoke. They just watched, but I could almost hear the words they did not dare speak aloud.

Did she really murder someone?

Why did they let her come back?

Shouldn’t she be behind bars, or better yet… dead?

I clutched my crossbody bag tightly against my chest and exhaled softly, allowing myself to offer a kind smile to anyone who would be willing to look at me.

It might take people longer to realize that I wasn’t a threat to them.

That what they read in those horrible articles was slanderous and incorrect.

I just needed to give them time. That was certainly what I kept telling myself.

“Alright, everyone,” Silas clasped his hands together, suddenly breaking the stares of anyone trying to size me up.

“Let’s get back to whatever you were doing, okay?

” He turned to me and watched for a reaction, for any sign that I needed to leave.

Even after I confirmed that I would be alright, he was reluctant to head up the few stairs to his office down the hall.

Eventually he did make it there, leaving me in the presence of young vampires whose scattered murmurs still floated around the room.

Once they hushed again, I looked over my shoulder to see Quinn step out from behind the front desk.

She was dressed in a blue shirt with Little Wing’s logo on the breast pocket and black fitted jeans with her white flats.

Though there was nothing threatening about her presence, the young vampires hesitated to speak again.

Was it really me making them so nervous?

A young woman with crimson eyes stepped forward from the cluster of young men and women. She approached me with her arms folded over her chest, embracing herself.

“Um, Ms. Lotus, a bunch of us were wondering if you could tell us about your experience moving here after… everything.” Her voice was timid, but the look in her eyes dissolved the angry assumptions I had imagined earlier.

In fact, what I saw reflected in each of their eyes was the same pain I had seen in my own for as long as I could remember.

With parted lips, I tried to find my voice. When no words came, I felt Quinn press the palm of her hand against the small of my back before speaking.

“Only if you’re comfortable, Lo,” she whispered. Her quiet assurance was a steady comfort .

The group of vampires who ranged in physical age all began to look at each other. My initial fear of rejection was very quickly replaced by an ache, an understanding of what these vampires were asking me about.

Another young woman from the group stepped forward to grab onto the crimson-eyed woman’s sweater. “Can you tell us how you endured and still wanted to stay?”

To stay ? To live.

The question could have shattered my heart at the kinship I felt. It was true—many of the vampires who did come to Little Wing were there because they had nowhere else to go. They had no maker left to guide them, or they escaped them, and they didn’t know what their next steps would be.

Surviving and enduring was one thing, but choosing to exist? That was another battle in its own.

“If that is what you are curious about, then I will not deny you,” I managed to say while fighting back the tears that threatened to stream down my cheek.

I invited anyone who wanted to join me into the meeting room reserved for larger counseling sessions.

The atmosphere of Little Wing no longer felt heavy with anxiety and fear, but a different flavor of pain.

It wasn’t a pain that made me want to leave, but one that made me glad I decided to come back.

The struggles that I faced were not exclusive to my experience.

So many young vampires around me stood in my shoes at one point or another, and I wanted to remind them that they were never alone.

That what they experienced was terrible, but they survived. Their pain was not in vain.

Once everyone found a seat, I found my own before taking a moment to look around. Some of them looked right at me while others chose to keep their heads down. I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly before resting my hands on my lap .

“My name is Lotus Everett, and I survived.”

We spent the next hour talking about what I did when I first left Luca and then the conversation transitioned into more of a group session.

Everyone had an opportunity to touch upon their experience and share in the comfort of others who understood what it was like to feel so alone.

To feel like there was nothing worth carrying on for.

Tears were shed among them and words of gratitude were gifted to me once our time was up.

The weight of their stories rested heavily in the air of the meeting room, but in sharing their experiences their postures appeared lighter, happier, and more hopeful.

They were real and they all survived to tell their stories when they could have easily made the choice to remove themselves from life’s equation.

This was a reward for me in enduring Luca’s torment. By doing so, I was allowed the opportunity to listen to the stories of so many other brave vampires. Though I still struggled, there was a glimmer of pride to be a part of a people who exemplified resilience.

Survivors.

Once the session was finished, I walked the group out of the room only to find Quinn standing just outside the door, smiling at them as they walked out.

“Hey, Lo,” she said softly. Quinn always held a firm front no matter who she was speaking to, but in that smile, there was an undeniable tenderness. “How are you doing?”

I brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear and exhaled slowly.

“I feel good.” And I wasn’t lying. The loneliness that I felt for much of my existence didn’t have to continue, not when I could share my story with others who related to it.

An experience I would never wish upon anyone, but there was healing in the knowledge that what we had endured was not what would break us .

Quinn nodded and reached out to lightly brush my wrist with her hand.

Her mouth opened and closed a few times before looking back at me.

Just as she did when she first heard what had happened to me.

Quinn was always strong and exuded an energy that just made her seem like she wouldn’t let anything get to her.

Though after telling her and Mateo everything that I revealed to Silas, her eyes seemed softer.

As if recalling my experience touched her too.

“Quinn, are you okay?”

“I’m glad you’re here, Lo.” She smiled and looked over her shoulder at the group of young vampires who just an hour ago seemed like completely different people.

“Getting away from that couldn’t have been easy, but we get to show them that it’s possible to heal from it. Slowly, but surely… we can heal.”

My lips parted at the we , but I did not pry any further. Only nodded in agreement and reached to squeeze her hand in mine.

“Silas is going to be finishing up soon. He said you two are heading to your apartment after this?” she said, steering the conversation out of the darkness that had filled the room we occupied.

“Yes. I figured it’s time I check on everything, and there is the fact that I’m out of clean clothes.”

She tipped her chin at me and smirked. “Surprised he let you out of his room.”

“Quinn!”

“What? I’m just saying I’ve never seen him like this, and I’ve known him a long time.”

Hearing her say that no doubt caused the flutter in my chest that I continued to feel anytime I was around Silas, or even when someone talked about him.

A feeling I had long swept aside emerged unexpectedly for a man who saw me, and I could not hold back the joy it brought me.

A joy I never thought I would be allowed to feel again.

A joy I feared would be taken away from me just as soon as I embraced it.

Sensing my growing unease, Quinn nudged me and motioned for me to follow her out of the meeting space. “Come on,” Quinn smirked, “I’ll have you help me with some pamphlets while Silas finishes up.”