Page 15 of Little Wing (Shades of Fairhaven #1)
W hen I left my house that afternoon, I never expected that my day would end with Silas kissing me in front of my apartment building.
Kissing me with a hunger that I reciprocated eagerly.
I didn’t know what came over me. Maybe it was curiosity, or just the adrenaline that had no doubt built up between us when he was spitting question after question at me.
Once I stepped inside and locked my door, I found myself touching my face again. I could still taste him on my tongue. I could recall the smell of his cologne and the way his facial hair tickled my skin.
After seeing him almost every day for the past few weeks at the bookstore and at the bar, it was difficult not to acknowledge how good looking he was.
I wasn’t blind, just… cautious. But that didn’t stop me from thinking about what it would feel like to touch him.
The fantasies that invaded my mind while I lay in bed couldn’t compare to the real thing.
The sound of his groans against my lips as his evident arousal pressed against my lower belly would certainly replay in my head.
Although the way he touched me had me almost considering inviting him upstairs, I knew I had to distance myself.
Though his touch felt amazing, I had to realize who—what—he was.
I could always reveal myself to him, but what would he do with that knowledge?
Would he turn me in? Or would he take the punishment into his own hands?
But even if we didn’t sleep together, I felt proud that I stood up for myself.
I wasn’t going to let him push some narrative about me pretending to be human when that wasn’t even close to the true reason behind my appearance.
I had to admit I enjoyed his expression.
It was difficult not to smirk at the memory of him standing before me looking like a scolded child when I stood my ground. I wondered if he expected that from me.
I chuckled quietly to myself and dragged my feet to my bedroom.
I was already exhausted from the evening’s events that I considered sleeping in my makeup.
It was only when I caught sight of my smeared face in my vanity mirror that I stopped to gaze at the evidence of Silas’s touch.
My lipstick was smeared across my mouth along with a portion of my foundation that revealed a patch of freckles.
After taking a mental snapshot, I cleaned off my face and changed into a short blue nightgown.
I took one last look at my reflection before heading to bed.
It was strange remembering that at one time I truly enjoyed this makeup.
It wasn’t because of how it made me look, but because it was my ticket out of the barn where Luca and I stayed.
Without the makeup, I was trapped. It was only by wearing the camouflage demanded by my brother that I was allowed to leave for a short period of time.
Even after proving myself to be smart and responsible, Luca believed that I wasn’t careful enough and that my mere existence would result in us being hunted.
My brother wasn’t well, even back then it was apparent.
But he was all that I had after waking into this new life, and he certainly made it clear that it would always remain that way.
Maybe that was why after all this time away from him, I still felt like a feral cat.
The treaty worked for so many vampires, but for me it felt like a temporary kindness, and it wouldn’t be long before I would be forced out again.
After years of being on my own, I expected nothing more than what I could provide myself.
A safe home, a steady supply of blood that kept bloodlust at bay, and a few friends who dulled the ache of loneliness.
It all felt like a pit that I couldn’t quite fill, not since the last time I allowed myself the pleasure of lowering my guard and opening my heart.
I could never forget everything that happened. No matter the world we lived in, the mistakes I made followed me. At least that was what the voice in my head echoed and repeated for years any time I felt a fragment of hope creep in.
Your fault, your fault, your fault…
Whatever happened tonight, I knew I would treasure it, if only as a memory to keep me company in the early hours of the day.