Page 21 of Like An Animal

THE GHOST

One Year Later…

“ M ary Elizabeth?” I lift my head as the high priest walks into my room, holding his head high.

“Yes, Father?”

“Tomorrow is your turn. You should prepare.”

They’ve been preparing, but I’ve been doing another sort of preparation.

I’m getting ready to bust out of here. When I first got here, I knew I would make my getaway, but I needed them to trust me first. They do now.

They think I’m brainwashed, but I’m a broken woman.

You can’t brainwash someone who knows how to point it out–the techniques, the end goal and the way to avoid it.

I’m not like the other women and men here whose parents handed them over so they could abuse each other’s children.

They think you give as a child, so you can take as an adult. Jeremy gave me the ability to see the difference between conditioning and love. Jeremy loved me, cared for me, protected me. He never did any of the things they have to me.

“Yes, Father. I shall say my prayers.”

They want to marry me off to one of the higher ranking members, but I’m not going to go quietly into this trap. I can’t be tamed.

If Jeremy couldn’t break me, they sure as fuck won’t.

“I’ll leave you to it, child.”

“Goodnight, Father.”

He nods before his gaze shifts to the crib in the corner of the room, but he doesn’t say anything.

He just turns and leaves out the door. Then, a soft cry comes from the corner and I stand up, walking over.

I pick up the poor fussy thing and hold her tight to my chest, running my fingers up and down her back.

“Shhh, little angel. It’s okay.” Her fingers knot in my hair as I sigh, looking into those deep brown eyes full of unshed tears. “We’ll be free soon. Just you and me, okay? Be patient and, for the love of all things demented, I pray you stay asleep. We won’t make it out if you don’t.”

I smooth the hair off her forehead as she flashes a toothless grin at me.

“You’re going to have a better life than I ever did, little Lottie.”

She clings to my shirt as I rock her back to sleep. She’s not dirty or hungry so I assume she just had a bad dream.

I wrap us up in my thick cloak and I wait…

and wait…and wait. It’s only when the compound goes silent that I finally stand up.

I grab her baby blanket and stuff it with diapers, wipes and a fresh bottle before I tie it up.

I make sure little Lottie’s pacifier is in place before we make our escape.

Most would assume we would go for the door, but I’m smarter than that.

Trying to navigate my way through the compound without being caught would be impossible.

However, the window is a better option. They don’t worry about people coming in.

It’s the people trying to leave that they are concerned with.

So the exterior is never guarded. Plus, my window is set right against the woods.

It will probably be quite the trek to civilization, but we’ll make it. It’s one of the few things I still have faith in.

I believe in myself and my determination.

I push open the small window and manage to get out without hurting little Lottie or waking her up. Once out, I gently close the window back and make my way into the woods, cradling the baby close. She starts to whine but I coo her, pulling my hood over my head.

We’ll be okay. We’ll survive and she won’t remember this when she gets older. I’ll be the only one that remembers our great escape in the dead of night.

“It’s going to be okay, Lottie.”

I keep repeating that as I run for my life, my feet pounding against the ground.

Every footstep is a victory. Failure isn’t an option.

This isn’t for me. It’s for Lottie. It’s my maternal instinct that tells me to keep running, like every woman of the past who had to run away with only their child is pushing me to keep going.

I grunt as my knees start to become sore, but I push on through. On and on and on.

Sweat trickles down the back of my dress as I follow the path I remember to Aunt Cheryl’s house. I didn’t tell her my plans, but I made sure she knew I was in trouble and would come to her in time. I didn’t realize that I would be coming to her with an infant though. I should’ve figured as much.

She has a small house in the middle of nowhere, which has made it easy to not be detected. A small garden sits along the side of her house and blue and yellow wildflowers line a path to the porch. My legs shake as I move up the porch before gently knocking on the door.

“Cheryl!” I yell out of breath. “It’s Bronwyn. Please, open the door.”

In only a few heart beats, the door is thrown open and my aunt with short, curly brown hair throws open the door, her green eyes glazed over with exhaustion.

“Get in here, sweetheart,” she demands on a yawn and I dart into the air conditioned shelter.

She closes the door and I watch as she works a line of locks into place before putting a piece of wood into a contraption meant to blockade the door.

Someone was prepared.

“Oh, my goodness, Bron. What happened to you?” She nearly cries as I take a seat on the couch, pain shooting through my knees and my feet. I don’t know how long I walked, but my body is feeling the effects.

“I’m fine, really.” I reach out and squeeze her hand as Lottie whines. Cheryl’s gaze drops to the baby in my arms before she covers her mouth with her hand.

“Is…is…is she yours?” her voice breaks and I slowly nod.

“Her name is Charlotte. I call her Lottie.”

Cheryl’s bottom lip quivers. “Like your mother?”

I nod. “I need to keep her safe and the people I’m running from want to do unthinkable things to her. We just need some rest, a change of clothes, and a way to get out of here undetected. It won’t be long before they trace us here. They know too much about me.”

She lets out a ragged breath. “I’ll take the baby and get her settled. Go take a shower. We’ll figure out the rest of it later.”

Gently, I place Lottie in her arms and I don’t even hesitate to do it.

She’s the only person I know will always be on my side.

My mom wasn’t just her sister–she was her twin, the other half of her soul.

In a lot of ways, I’m her child as well.

I kept communication low between us throughout my childhood so my father wouldn’t completely cut it off, but that doesn’t change that our bond is strong.

She holds Lottie with tears in her eyes and I hesitate. Before I stop myself, I ask a question that has been haunting me day and night.

“Have you heard anything about Jeremy?” I ask, my gut tensing.

She slowly nods. “I’ve gotten calls periodically on your phone with updates from a Mr. B.

I’ve just told him that I’m your assistant.

He’s still in prison. He has another two years if he keeps up the good behavior.

There haven’t been any incidents reported or so he says.

The first call said he took a plea deal for four years and he’ll get ten years of probation once he’s out. ”

Only two more years, but then I’ll be running from him instead of The Fathers. I doubt even Lottie’s innocence would be enough for him to not get his revenge for what I did. Jeremy Borza was never the forgiving type.

“Thank you, Aunt Cheryl. You’ve done more for me than I could ever repay in a lifetime.”

She waves me off. “Oh, hush. The day I stop caring for you will be the day I betray my sister’s memory. I swore to her before she died that I’d look out for you until my last breath.”

“I kept everything you told me to. Even the duffle bag. I haven’t even looked inside of it.” She put the bag I stuffed under Jeremy’s bed on the dining room table and I stare at it for a moment, flashes of that day running through my head.

“Thank you.” I hand Lottie back to her before I stand up and unzip the bag, pulling out my bracelet and necklace, slipping them on for the first time since I put them in there.

I thumb the ghost charm on my wrist before I pull out Jeremy’s hoodie.

It was the one he would wear every day. It’s a plain black hoodie, but it’s special.

It’s one of the last things I have from him so I slip it on over my head.

The scent hits me and it takes everything for me not to drop to my knees from the memories that run through my brain.

I’ve written our history off, but wearing it is like getting a hug from my shadow. I’m so glad I thought to pack it up before I left.

“I also got you a new identity with a driver’s license, birth certificate, social security card, and a bank account with the documentation where all of your funds are.

You should be set up so you won’t have to worry about money, period.

You’ll be able to live comfortably.” Aunt Cheryl holds a manilla envelope as I pull the sleeves of the hoodie down over my wrists.

I was a little too slow because horror bleeds down her face.

She must’ve seen the burn scars and the marks left from all the lashes I got with a whip.

My body is covered in those marks and I doubt they will ever fully disappear.

I don’t know what I’ll end up telling Lottie when she eventually asks.

I might be able to get away with saying it was an accident for a few years, but at some point, she’ll see through the lie.

How do you explain to a child that you were punished for being loved and hiding from abuse?

“You do too much,” I whisper as I take the envelope from her before placing it in the duffle bag.

“Nonsense.” She takes my hand and my gaze darts up to hers.

“You are all I have left, Bron. Nothing matters more than you and your safety. Other than me, you and Charlotte are the only ones left in our family. You need to get to where the two of you can be safe. Maybe Georgia or Virginia, somewhere far away from any trouble you’ve found. ”

Clearly, New Jersey is out of the question. I’m done with the southern heat. Maybe we can go somewhere where it snows, where winters are cold and summers are warm. Perhaps Nebraska or Ohio, somewhere nice. I don’t want to be near any big cities.

“You could come with us,” I offer as my gaze darts to Lottie, sleeping on the couch.

“No, sweetheart. You need to leave before they track you here. Once the coast is clear and you’ve had time to settle, I’ll come find you. And don’t you dare tell me where you’re planning to go. I don’t want them to get it out of me.”

She’ll be in danger if she stays. If she comes with me, she’ll be okay, but I also know how stubborn she is. If she says she’s staying, there’s nothing I can say to stop her.

I nod.

I pick up Lottie in my arms, making a mental note that I’ll need to pick up a car seat once I get a safe distance away from here. Aunt Cheryl helps me carry the bag out to the garage and my eyes widen when she pulls a tarp off of a vehicle to reveal…Jeremy’s car.

“I thought you sold everything,” I mutter, confused.

“I knew you would need a vehicle and I’ve kept up with the maintenance. It will get you wherever you’re going and probably even further.” She flashes me a sad smile with tears in her eyes. “Go, sweet child. We’ll see each other again soon.”

This was the point of everything I set up. I knew I would have to make a run for it at some point, but the thought of never seeing her again gives me pause. Looking at her is like getting to see my mom again and god I miss her.

I give her a one armed hug and squeeze tight before whispering, “Thank you for everything.”

She hums before pulling away. She throws the duffle bag in the back seat as I climb in the driver’s seat, feeling uncertain about driving Jeremy’s car.

He never let anyone drive his car. It was his baby. Anytime I ever asked he would give me a nasty look.

I lay Lottie down in the front passenger seat before placing her baby blanket next to her to keep her in place. It should be a relatively smooth drive until we get to where I can get her a car seat.

Then it will be smooth sailing until we reach somewhere so far away that we can settle down.

“Good luck, sweetheart,” Aunt Cheryl says before she closes the back door. I pull the hood over my head and reach into the compartment inside the armrest and pull out the big sunglasses Jeremy used to always wear. I tuck my hair inside the hood before I turn on the car and back out of the garage.

I speed out of the driveway and take a deep breath, but my heart twists when I pass by a black van with no defining stickers, blacked out windows, and missing a license plate–key indicators of the Jephthah and their henchmen.

An instinct deep inside me demands I turn around and protect Cheryl, but what stops me is the coo of Lottie beside me.

This is for her. She will never be a Daughter of Jephthah. That’s not a life I want for her or anyone else, but she’s the only one I can save right now from living the way I have. She will have a carefree childhood full of love and laughter. I won’t let anyone stop me from giving that to her.

I just hope Cheryl is okay.

Four Years Later

“Mommy!” Lottie shrieks as she runs out of her classroom and straight over to me. She throws her arms around my legs, looking up at me with her adoring brown eyes. They sparkle with love and innocence as I stroke her hair.

“Hey! Did you have a good day?” I ask as I push the hair out of her face and she grins big.

“Yes! Can we get ice cream?”

She is always asking for some sort of frozen treat. Sometimes it’s popsicles or sherbet. Other times, it’s ice cream or even ice cream cake. She has a massive sweet tooth.

“Maybe after dinner, baby.”

Honestly, I don’t even know if we’ll be in Kentucky at dinner time.

I got the divorce papers drawn up and ready for Kyle.

He knew this marriage was just to hide me and Lottie from anyone that would be looking for us.

If Jeremy is searching for me, he’ll be looking for a single woman living alone.

The Jephthah will be searching for a single mother and her small child.

No one expected me to be married to a nobody accountant in Lawrenceburg, Kentucky and living like a dutiful housewife.

That has never been me and that’s the point.

As far as the public is concerned, Lottie is Kyle’s daughter.

He knows that’s not true though. It would be impossible.

I didn’t meet Kyle until I moved to Louisville as a pit stop.

I struck up a deal with him and he knew there was an expiration date. That day has come.

Why?

Because I spoke with Mr. B and Jeremy has skipped out on his probation, which means he’s headed here. Maybe he knows where I am. Maybe he’s just starting his search. I won’t be here to find out. Me and my child will be leaving before he can track us down.