Page 2 of Like An Animal

THE GHOST

I twist the lollipop in my mouth as Missy slides up beside me and taps my shoulder, as if I didn’t see her from a mile away with her orange and yellow bob.

“Bitch, have you seen McGowen today?” she presses and I groan.

I’ve been avoiding him like the plague, especially after the way Jeremy completely embarrassed me.

“No.” I slam my locker door closed before turning to her.

“He is black and blue. I don’t know what kind of steroids Jer is taking, but the football team could use some. He was absolutely feral .” Her eyes widen and I roll mine.

My brother is stupid. I don’t know why he acts like this anytime I get any sort of male attention. A guy could tell me I looked nice and his teeth would disappear in less than five minutes. Jeremy needs to be careful or the Bastards will have something to say about his violent streak.

“Come on. It was kind of hot,” Missy shrugs.

My jaw drops. “Hot? He almost broke Tiernan’s jaw and all he did was dance with me.

” Granted, he also asked to take things to his room which I was totally down for, but I’m not going to give Jer another reason to go after Tiernan, again.

I doubt he heard Tiernan say that since he whispered it in my ear.

I doubt I’ll ever be invited to another Bastard party again and neither will my brother. As a matter of fact, I bet they’ll ban Jeremy from their street, let alone their house. I wouldn’t even blame them at this point.

“It’s that he defended your honor like that. If a guy would do that for his step-sister, I can just imagine the lengths he would go for his lady. That’s the part that’s hot.”

I’m in a sour mood as it is without adding in a conversation surrounding my idiot brother. He pissed me off so bad yesterday that I haven’t talked to the fucker since I slammed my bedroom door in his face.

Jeremy Borza is a man of few words. Most people think he’s either mute or deaf, but he isn’t. He just doesn’t like talking unless he has something to add to the conversation. It’s unheard of for him to even start a discussion.

I’m surprised he has friends to begin with. He pretty much just sits there and scowls at everyone, even his mom.

He’s been like this since my dad married his mom and that was five years ago. We were in school together before then, but as far as I can remember, we didn’t have any interactions.

“Let’s just get to class.”

***

I make my way up the stairs, sweat dripping down my back from my workout, but before I can head to my bedroom, a pale arm shoots out and blocks my way. My gaze lifts and clashes with Jer’s dark brown orbs filled with irritation.

“Move,” I warn, narrowing my eyes at him. “I’m not speaking to you. You’ve pissed me off enough to last a lifetime.”

A subtle smirk rises across his lips, accenting the bruise on his cheek, courtesy of Tiernan McGowen and his right hook. At least he got one good punch in before Finn and Eoghan separated the two heathens.

I can see his thoughts written on his face.

I thought you weren’t speaking to me.

Smart ass.

Maybe he doesn’t talk much because everyone can read every thought on his face. He’s expressive as fuck.

“Fuck. You.” I roll my eyes at him before pushing his arm out of my way.

I make my way to my room, close the door, grab some clean clothes, and head for the shower. I can’t wait for this day to be over, but the bad thing about it being over is that means nighttime has begun. Nighttime is ten times worse than the day and it has nothing to do with my brother.

***

I like to pretend I’m a ghost, like I’m not really here and everything that happens is happening to someone else.

It’s still horrifying and disgusting, but not nearly as bad.

I adopted this tactic after the first five times my father came to my bed.

At first, I tried to justify it. Maybe he was drunk and thought I was my mother, but then my mother died and I couldn’t use that excuse anymore.

He knows better.

He knew better.

Doing what he does is wrong. It makes me want to throw up and rip off layers upon layers of my flesh until nothing he has touched remains. Then, I wouldn’t be tainted the way I am.

I’m dirty.

Disgusting.

Diseased.

Tears flow down my face as he throws on his clothes and leaves the room, but the door doesn’t close all the way. I sit up as I hear voices.

“What the fuck were you doing in there?” Jeremy.

The color drains further from my face until I must look like I’m painted in grayscale. I grab my robe from the floor and slip it on as I tiptoe to the door, sneaking a look through the crack. Jeremy is shirtless with rage rippling throughout his entire body.

“I was visiting with my daughter. What’s the problem, son?”

If that’s what he calls visiting, I’d hate to see what he qualifies as fucking. I wouldn’t know what that is like though. I’ve never consented to sex with anyone and gone through with it. Every time I have, Jeremy has intervened. Maybe I’d feel like I have some control over my life if I had.

Having sex wouldn’t fix my problems, but it would help adjust my psyche.

With zero warning, Jeremy grabs my father by his shirt and slams his back into the wall so hard I jump back, but I can still see the rage painting his features.

He looks ready to kill.

“You listen to me, you piece of flaming human garbage.” He growls in his face.

“If you ever go into her room or so much as look at her funny again, I will kill you and bury you in the back fucking yard. The things I will do to you before I put you out of your goddamn misery will make even the devil weep. Do you understand me?”

A tear trails down my cheek as I realize that Jeremy knows exactly what he did to me and has been doing for years and like any other time a man has tried to touch me, he’s doing whatever he can to protect me.

Oh, Jer.

“You’re crazy!” my father gasps.

Then, Jeremy flashes a psychotic grin. “Yeah, I’m crazy and you don’t want to see exactly how much more intense that will be if you hurt her again.

Are you going to be a good little bitch and do as you're told or do I need to make Kathy a widow? Just so you know, I’m hoping you choose the latter.

I’m only giving you an option because you’re the only blood relative she has left and I’d hate to be the reason she becomes an orphan. Choose now .”

I hear my father gagging and it’s then I realize Jeremy is choking him, but I don’t step out to stop him. Why would I? If I had the nerve, I’d kill him, too.

“Fine,” my father rasps, talking through tight lips. “You win, psycho. Just get the fuck off of me!”

I watch darkness creep across Jeremy’s face as he tilts his head to the side like a horror movie villain and the lean muscles in his arms tighten, causing my father to make a sputtering noise. His arms flail around in a panic and my breath catches in my throat.

“Almost,” Jer drags out the word for so long I wonder if my father will pass out before he stops.

“There.” He releases my father and he falls to the ground, hacking and gagging while clutching his throat.

Just as my father gets control of himself again, Jer rears his foot back and kicks him at the perfect angle that his foot lands on my father’s groin.

The middle-aged man howls with agony as he falls to his side and cradles his junk.

I hiss under my breath because I knew that it hurt like a bitch.

“Now I’m done, you disgusting pedophile.”

Then, Jeremy shoves my father’s body down the winding staircase and I don’t feel the slightest bit bad for him.

I leave the door as it is and slowly back away, biting away at a small hangnail that has been bothering me for days.

I haven’t felt safe in this room since we moved in just like I didn’t feel safe in the old house.

I didn’t really sleep well. The slightest noise made me jump out of my skin, thinking maybe he came back for more.

He never did though. That didn’t stop the intrusive thoughts that I was in immediate danger or the terror. The daytime is easier.

My father married Kathy five years ago and it took Jeremy this long to connect what was happening in the dead of night. My father could continue what he’s been doing for years and Jer might not notice for another five years.

I know my brother will do whatever it takes to keep me safe, but I don’t feel safe in this room, unprotected.

I slip off my robe and put back on my pajamas before covering back up with the robe.

I slip out of my room and look down the stairs to see my father’s body gone.

Either he’s dead and Jer is disposing of the body as we speak or he’s not dead and got up on his own.

If he is alive, he’s going to be bloody and bruised before morning.

I pad my bare feet down the hall and around the corner before coming to the door with a big “Keep Out” sign hanging. My heart races in my chest as I stop and face the door, getting the courage I need to knock.

I mean, the worst he can do is say no, right? Still, a no would be pretty bad.

I raise my fist and lightly rap my knuckles on the door. My heart pounds in my chest as I wait to see if he answers. He usually doesn’t. He ignores everyone and no one knows what he does when he’s alone in his room.

I almost walk away a moment before the door is thrown open and Jer still looks pissed, like he’s ready to kill someone, but the second he sees me, the look leaves his face. A flash of relief flows down his features before he tilts his head, probably waiting for me to say something.

“I know this is probably weird, but…” I look down the hall, making sure neither my father or Kathy know what’s happening.

Then, I look back at him, watching the confusion dance across his eyebrows.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” My stomach tenses in preparation for the rejection.

I’m fully aware that Jeremy likes his solitude and definitely doesn’t like for it to be disturbed.

In a flash, he grabs my arm and pulls me straight into his chest, his hand going straight for my hair.

In the same breath, he closes the door and twists the lock.

My fingers splay against his bare back, feeling the stickiness of sweat and grime from the day, but no one has ever held me like it’s okay for me to break apart.

I’m the well-behaved duchess of the castle and that’s exactly what everyone expects of me.

No one notices that I’m constantly dying on the inside or how hard it is to keep up the facade.

I always have to be smart and pretty and kind.

Tears roll down my face as I cling to him and the comfort he offers me. I know that he knows what my father has been putting me through and I think he knows it, too.

“You’re safe, Bronwyn,” he whispers in my ear. “The nightmare is over.”

I wish it was over, but I have the feeling it’s just getting started.

Jer rakes his fingers through my tangled hair as I start to calm down. The flow of tears lessens every second until I can breathe without more falling.

“I need to shower. Go lay down.” The words are spoken on a breath and I slowly nod as I pull away, feeling two parts mortified and one part exhausted.

I release my hold on him before walking deeper into the room. Jeremy slowly goes to his bathroom and closes the door as I look around the space.

I’ve never been in his room before. I never really wanted to, but now that I am, I’m curious why he hides himself away in here.

He has a projector and screen for watching movies and records he made for his band, JMX, and a t-shirt hangs on the wall with their logo on it, a splash of neon green and bright red with the name of their band in an edgy font as the centerpiece.

There aren’t any real decorations. No photos, which is only odd since his expensive camera hangs from its strap over the corner of the headboard.

Hell, he doesn’t even have a desk, but that’s by his choice. He has the money to get one and if he didn’t, he could ask Kathy to buy one for him.

The only other things in the room are his bed and the bedside table if you don’t include the dirty clothes across the floor.

What more could I expect from a teenage boy’s room?

I move over to the bed and slip off my robe before moving under the covers. The Labyrinth plays on the projector, but there’s no sound. My eyes start to drift and all I see behind my eyelids are a flash of color.

Comfort and a sense of peace surrounds me even as I feel the bed shift. Jeremy slips under the covers, but the part that nearly pulls me back to consciousness is when he wraps his arms around me and buries his face in my hair, holding me tight to him.

Instead of pushing him away like I know I should, I accept it and let him touch me, hold me with the knowledge that I’m truly safe for the first time in my life.