Page 50 of Liam (Preston Brothers #4)

Addie

We spend the next few hours doing exactly what we’d planned.

Julie ran around doing whatever the boys needed, and when that was done, we got food from the diner, then went back to their lake to have lunch, where we stay for most of the afternoon.

As amazing as it is to be out of the house and around other people— real people, not just the ones in my head—being with them all made me realize just how different our worlds were.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful they’ve accepted me, especially after everything I’ve done, and I’m grateful that no one brought up the whole Wyatt thing, but…

I don’t know.

I love being around Liam… when it’s just us two. But with others, even Lincoln, sometimes… I feel like I don’t belong. Like I’m on the outside looking in.

After being at the lake for a while, Lincoln takes Julie home, leaving Liam and me alone.

We sit on the dock together, our feet in the water.

He doesn’t speak, and I don’t know what to say, so we just sit in comfortable silence until my phone goes off.

“That’ll be Roman,” I tell him. “He’ll be here soon. ”

“Tell him not to come,” he says. “I can give you a ride home later.”

I turn to him, my eyebrows raised.

He smiles to one side. “I want to take you somewhere.”

“Somewhere” is the mostly empty ballpark.

Besides a young father and his son playing catch in the outfield, we’re the only ones here.

Liam takes us to center field, where he spreads out a blanket he pulled from his trunk earlier.

He sits, tugging on my hand for me to do the same.

Of course, I comply. And when he lies down, facing the vast blue sky above, I follow his lead.

I don’t really know what we’re doing here, but I don’t feel the need to ask—not even when he takes my hand in his, linking our fingers and holding it between us.

I’d love to crack open his mind, get an insight into what he’s thinking.

What he’s feeling . I roll my head to the side, stare at his profile a moment.

And then I let my curiosity get the best of me, ask something I’ve been wondering for days.

“You know the Internet says that you and Lincoln are super straight edge?”

His eyes drift shut, a slight smirk tugging on his lips. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yep. No drinking, smoking, drugs…” I release his hand so I can sit up slightly, watch his face for a response. “Is it true?”

His eyes remain closed, his smirk getting smirkier when he answers, “Partially.”

“Partially, how ?”

“ I don’t drink. Linc does. Our mom died of lung cancer, and even though she never smoked a cigarette in her life, we stay away from it.

And drugs are a hard no, at least for me.

” He pauses a breath, thinking. “Linc tried weed when we were, like, fourteen, but he hated it, so he hasn’t touched it since. ”

“No judgement, and you don’t have to answer… but, is there a reason you choose not to?”

He shrugs, his eyes opening and immediately finding mine. The afternoon sun intensifies the blues, and I wish I could capture this moment. “Stay right there,” I tell him, pulling out my phone.

He grins as I snap a picture of him, then asks, “You saving that for your spank bank later?”

“Liam!” I laugh out. “I was just admiring how bright your eyes were, but now that you mention it?—”

I cut off when he grabs my waist, hoists me down until I’m lying beside him again.

He offers his arm, and I settle my head in the crook.

He says, “As soon as we were able to get our driver’s permit, we both did the test and passed.

But when it came to actually getting our license, I think Linc just figured only one of us needed it since we always did everything together anyway.

I wanted to get it because it meant I’d be able to easily leave situations that made me uncomfortable.

It worked out for us in the end. Linc would still go to parties in town, and I’d pick him up, so I’d always be sober.

But even without that aspect, I wouldn’t drink anyway.

I want to stay in control of my mind… and my body, I guess. ”

“Makes sense,” I murmur, then remain quiet a moment—until his chest vibrates with his silent chuckle. I peer up at him. “What’s funny?”

He shakes his head. “Just… I know that’s not what you’re really asking.”

It’s not, and I hate that he knows it. “What am I really asking, then?”

He shakes his head. “I’ll wait for you to say it.”

“Fine,” I sigh. He knows me too well. “The Internet says you and Linc are virgins.”

Without shifting his position beneath me, he removes the tie from the end of my braid, starts fingering my hair to loosen the strands. “Do you believe everything the Internet says?”

“No.” I keep my eyes on the tree line in the far, far distance. “I guess it just stumped me is all… I mean, after the way you were with me, I assume you’re not.”

“What makes you assume that?”

My eyes drift shut as he strokes my hair. “You just seemed very experienced, I guess.”

“I’m not,” he’s quick to say. “Not very. ”

“Well, you’re more experienced than me.”

“Addie…” He tenses beneath me, his hands freezing mid-movement. “Are you a virgin?”

“No.”

He noticeably relaxes.

“Would it have been the worst thing if I were?”

“No, I just—” He resumes playing with my hair. “I would’ve been more gentle with you.”

“I don’t want you to be gentle.”

A breath catches in his throat before he clears it.

Then he adjusts until he’s on his side, my head resting on his bicep now.

And because I’d been planning this conversation in my head since the moment it happened—before everything went to shit—I tell him, “No one has ever… done what you did to me or—” My cheeks heat with my blush. “I’ve never finished like that before.”

His smile is wicked. Cocky. Hot. “Say more.”

“I mean, Pierson and I did it a couple of times?—”

“Say less,” he cuts in.

I giggle into his arm.

“You think I’m joking?” he asks, shifting closer and settling his hand on my hip.

The urge to throw my leg over him and close the distance between us is palpable.

Thankfully, I have enough self-control to remember we’re out in public.

He adds, “The idea of another guy’s hands on you makes me want to a punch a hole through the wall. ”

“That’s very… possessive.”

He shrugs. “I guess we both experienced firsts, then.”

My eyebrows pinch. “What about your previous girls?”

“ Girl . Just one.” He heaves out a sigh. “She was one of Julie’s friends from college. Came to town last summer to visit, and… that’s about it.”

“So, one time, last summer?”

“No. I mean, it was multiple times during the summer, but it’s not—” he breaks off there.

“It’s not what?” I push.

“It’s not like it meant anything.”

“So it was just, what? A summer fling?”

Another shrug. “I guess.”

“Like us?”

His mouth opens, shuts. Then he rolls onto his back, rubbing his eyes, before using his forearm to shield them. After a long moment, he finally asks, “Is that what this is to you?”

“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. “I guess I’m trying to figure out how I’m any different.”

His throat moves with his heavy swallow before turning to me again.

“Because with her, it was purely physical. We had needs we could take care of for each other, so we did. But it’s not like I thought about her when she wasn’t around.

I didn’t miss her when she was gone. And believe me, those feelings were mutual.

Whatever we had—it was easy to get over. ”

“And this isn’t? Easy to get over, I mean—you and me?”

His eyes search mine for the longest time, and I can see the brightness dull with each passing second. I hate it. “Can you get over this?”

“No,” I answer freely. Because I know, deep in my soul, I’ll never get over Liam Preston.

I’ll never inhale another breath without a part of him in it.

He’ll live inside me forever, in the deepest recesses of my heart—the parts I’ve been too afraid to explore but will now willingly go—just to search for a tiny fragment of him.

“Addie,” he whispers, and I love the way he says my name. The way his palm feels against my jaw. The way his thumb strokes my cheek. The way his eyes continue to search mine, long after I’ve shown him everything inside me. “You know why I brought you out here?”

“No.”

“Because this place reminds me of you. It always has—since we were kids. And I’ve been thinking about it a lot the past few days… all the games we played… all the practices… I’m trying to remember if I ever saw your parents here…”

I’m quick to sit up, every inch of muscle tensing inside me… right before they all turn to ash.