Page 48 of Liam (Preston Brothers #4)

Liam

Linc and I decided to have a morning gym session the next day, so I enter the studio later than usual. I stop just inside the door, hoping to hear the click, click, clicking of the keyboard, and when nothing but silence greets me, my shoulders drop.

I make my way to the back room, just to be sure, but Addie isn’t in her usual spot.

Technically, she never said she’d be returning to work, so I don’t know why I’m so disappointed.

We were quiet on the drive back from the junkyard yesterday, and when I got to her place, I met Victor in the parking lot. He got out of his truck at the same time we did. “Addie!” he beamed.

“Victor,” she growled.

I walked her to her door, made sure she was safely inside, passed Victor on the way out, and waited five minutes in the truck before getting out again and releasing the air from all four of his tires.

Addie

“Good morning,” I say, causing Liam to jump in his desk chair.

He spins to me, his eyes as wide as his smile. Before I can protest—not that I would—I’m in his embrace and being lifted off my feet. “Where the hell did you come from?”

“I was in the kitchen getting a drink.”

He sets me back on my feet. “I’m glad you’re here.”

We can’t stop smiling at each other. “Me, too.” Then I motion to his computer screens. “Have you got a lot on today?”

He sits back in his chair, looks down at the notes in his planner. “A little, but I can fuck it all off if you want to do something.”

“I have some catching up to do, but maybe after?” I tell him, focused on the planner. “So… I have a question.”

“Go for it.”

“One time, I was near your desk and saw this,” I say, tapping on the open page. “I noticed these random letters or codes at the corner of each day?—”

“Are you spying on me?” he teases.

“No!” Maybe a little. “I was just curious, is all. Is it a YouTube thing?” For days after I first saw it, I would occasionally glance at the planner if he wasn’t at his desk, but obviously, I’ve never figured out what it could possibly mean.

“Nope. Not a YouTube thing.”

“So what is it?”

He tilts his chin, eyes catching mine. “Is it going to bother you not knowing?”

“Absolutely.”

He chuckles. “Looks like you’ll never know.”

I push on his shoulder. “Tell me.”

“Absolutely not,” he says, then clamps his lips shut as he shakes his head.

The front door opens, and we both turn toward the sound. “Is Addie here?” Lincoln calls out.

“Yeah,” Liam answers.

“Is she coming? Because I need to move shit from the back seat if she is.”

I turn to Liam. “Coming where?”

“We’re just running errands,” he tells me. Then louder, for his brother, “Yeah, she’s coming!”

He gathers what he needs from his desk, then stands, taking my hand in his as he leads me away. I dig my heels into the floor, grasping his arm. “Wait!” I whisper, waiting for him to face me before adding. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” He turns to me fully, his eyes searching mine, and I hope he can’t see the effort it’s taking to blink back my emotions.

“I—” How do I say this so he’ll understand? After my latest public display of whatever that was, I’m just… “I’m really not ready to show my face in public.”

“Good!” Lincoln yells from the front door. “Because that’s exactly how we operate!”

Fifteen minutes later, I’m in the back seat of a truck I’ve never seen before while Lincoln sits behind the wheel and Liam sits shotgun.

According to the twins, Lincoln got his license yesterday and immediately drove to their sister’s father-in-law’s car dealership and bought the truck.

He and Liam went for a drive last night and, going by their current back and forth, it did not go well.

“He’s the worst passenger in the history of ever, Addie,” Lincoln says, peering at me quickly through the rearview.

“That’s a fucking lie,” Liam deadpans.

Lincoln ignores him. “He spent the entire drive white-knuckling the dash, squealing like a little bitch.”

“Did not!” Liam retorts.

Somehow, even after the few days I’ve had, I find myself smiling. “Where did you go?”

“I got all the way to the sports park before he threatened to get out and walk.”

“That’s like a five-minute drive.”

“I know!” Lincoln almost shouts.

Right on cue, Liam grabs the dash. “Don’t yell! Concentrate on the road.”

“Shut up, Dad !”

A giggle pours out of me. We’re on the main road that connects all the nearby towns. There are barely any other cars, and according to the speedometer, Lincoln’s driving two miles under the speed limit.

Liam drops his head between his shoulders, shaking it slowly. “It’s going to take me a minute to get used to,” he admits. “You know I struggle when things aren’t in my control.”

I don’t miss the way Lincoln glances at me through the rearview, his eyebrows pinched. I don’t know if he’s confused, or perhaps concerned, that Liam is open about his anxieties with me or if it’s because he knows I’m the reason Liam’s like that. Either way, I don’t ask.

We pull up in front of an electronics store at a strip mall, and as soon as the truck’s in park, the twins turn to each other, their fists already formed in the classic rock-paper-scissors position.

They take eight tries for one of them to do something different, and Lincoln’s the one who wins.

“Wait,” he says. “We’re dealing with equipment here. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

“Oh yeah,” Liam says through a sigh, reaching into a backpack to reveal a hat and sunglasses. He slips them both on before turning to me. “I’ll be back soon.”

I watch him go into the store, then flick my gaze to Lincoln, whose focus is still on his brother.

Yesterday, after Liam drove me home from the junkyard, I went to work on trying to make amends.

I started with cleaning the entire apartment, then made dinner for Roman and me.

It was a small act, but one I think he understood.

While we ate, I told him about going to the junkyard—about how I’d told Liam it was my favorite place in the world.

But, more importantly, I told him why it was.

And, even though the junkyard itself wasn’t there anymore, just being in the space where it once stood gave me a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in a long time.

After revealing that to him, it’s as if the walls came down around me, and I couldn’t stop.

So, I told him about everything else . I told him more details about the car accident—about the physical long-term effects of my injuries and what happened with Pierson in the aftermath.

I struggled to get out the part about where I was going and why .

I’d planned to keep it to myself until I was dead and buried, but he had a right to know.

He sat and listened the entire time, and the only question he asked was, “Is that why you don’t drive or drink alcohol? ”

To which I answered, “Yes.”

I even opened myself up to parts of my past I’m not proud of, things that involved Liam, which inevitably led to me taking a baseball bat to Wyatt’s truck.

And then, finally, I apologized. For so many things.

I wasn’t thinking about how my actions would affect his reputation in such a small town.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have the luxury of being able to hide out in his apartment like I had been.

But mostly, I apologized for the way I’d acted.

I hadn’t been at my best lately, and even though I recognized his attempt to make things better for me, I was so deep in my struggle that I didn’t reach out when he offered his hand.

I think, in a way, that’s the hardest part—not being able to force a change when the people you love want better for you.

I spent the rest of the night lost in those thoughts, drowning in that darkness, until…

I thought about Liam and the change I’d seen in him in the short time I’ve been back.

He’s more confident now, more willing to say exactly what’s on his mind.

He says that it’s my doing, calls it The Addie Effect .

The problem is, I haven’t been able to vocalize my thoughts lately because the things I’ve felt aren’t in my mind; they’re in my heart—etched deep in the crevices I’ve avoided exploring.

But I need to.

I need to be more like Liam. More open with my struggles, my emotions… even if it costs me my pride.

“Hey, Lincoln,” I say, and his eyes trail to mine. I remove my seat belt so I can lean forward, say something I’ve been meaning to say for a while now. “I owe you an apology.”

“Me?” he asks, his eyes wide.

I nod. “For the way I treated Liam when we were kids. I figure you know about it by now—the whole Twincest thing. And while you were never the target, I can only imagine how it affected you.” I’ve had a lot of time to sit and think about the impacts of my actions over the past few days, and Lincoln was high on that list. “I’m sure you must’ve felt a certain duty to Liam, a protectiveness, and it must’ve been hard on you—to feel as if you were powerless to do anything about it. ”

Lincoln’s gaze drops to the space between us, his eyebrows set in a line.

“I don’t know the whole story, but I know Liam’s forgiven you, and that’s enough for me.

And I’m sorry, too, for what I said on the stairs that night you were over for dinner.

I’m sorry for calling you out like that.

It was uncalled for. Especially since I know you and Liam have feelings for each other. ”

Feelings . I have a lot of feelings for Liam Preston, and the prevalent one is one I struggle to say out loud. “You were just protecting him, as you should.”

His eyes lift, lock on mine, and they’re the closest to Liam’s I’ve ever seen. The closest to kindness. “So we’re good—you and me?”

I blink back the heat burning behind my eyes. “I’d like us to be.”

He nods. “Then we’re good, Addie.”

“Good,” I say, my smile soft as I sit back and get comfortable. “So you guys usually rock-paper-scissors to see who does what?”