Page 45 of Liam (Preston Brothers #4)

Addie

I wanted to go home.

The moment Roman threw my ass back into his truck and sped away from the golf course, reality hit, and boy, was it kind to me.

Not .

I’m pretty sure I blacked out for most of my rage-fueled outburst, because I only vaguely remember the feeling of the bat in my hands, the crunching of metal beneath my feet, and the sound of glass shattering…

The only thing I can distinctly recall is Roman’s voice telling me, “ That’s enough! ”

I don’t remember the car ride home or taking the steps up to his apartment. I don’t even remember what I felt the moment I saw two uniformed officers waiting just outside our door, one of them being Leo Preston…

I wanted to go home then as much as I want to go home now, but going home meant having to explain the reasons to Dayna and Griffin, and I wasn’t ready to do that either.

So, I’m here, stuck in Roman’s apartment, where I have been for the past five days, too ashamed to show my face in public. Not even for me, but for Roman.

I’d bet all the money in the world he regrets inviting me here.

It wouldn’t be so bad if video evidence didn’t exist, but, alas, it does, and now I’ll forever be known as the girl who lost her shit at a bougie-ass golf course and took a bat to some guy’s truck.

Or maybe I’m the girl whose brother went to prison for dealing drugs and was sent off to a foster home because no one could find my parents.

Or maybe I’m the girl who showed up to school looking and smelling like absolute shit because she didn’t know how to care for herself.

Or, worse than all the above, maybe I’m the girl who spread insanely hurtful rumors about the kindest boy in the world simply because she thought it would protect her from… what? Losing her brother?

“That turned out fucking peachy,” I mumble, then look around the empty apartment.

I’ve lost my mind, and pages upon pages of journal entries haven’t seemed to help.

I can’t sleep. Can’t eat. Can’t force myself to face my own brother. When he’s here, I’m in my— his —room. When he’s not, I wander around the apartment pretending as though I have a reason to be here.

I don’t.

I should leave. Go home. Tell Dayna and Griffin the truth instead of the lies I’ve been feeding them for days—that everything’s fine . Work is good. Roman’s good. I’m good. “Everything’s good, ” I say. Out loud. To no one.

I should go home, but I can’t . Dayna and Griffin will want to talk—specifically about my “future.” About the fact that the state cut funding for my school—a little nugget they dropped on me in a phone call that took place about a minute after the cops left the apartment.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to worry about my placement, as long as I didn’t want to play softball anymore.

Yep. The school had to make cuts, and the girls’ teams were the first to go.

Not just softball. All of them. To be fair, we were bringing in negative revenue, so it makes sense, but is also means that Griffin is out of a job.

Good times.

They told me a couple of days ago and made me promise not to tell the girls in the group chat until it was official. It became official this morning. My phone’s been going off since, but I haven’t bothered to check it.

My stomach growls , but I ignore it.

Punishment for my crimes.

Maybe that’s what my parents did when they fled and left me with nothing.

Punishment for my crimes.

I’m crying.

It’s my new normal.

I cry and cry and cry, and there’s no end to the misery.

Punishment for my crimes.

A knock on the door has me glaring at it from the couch. I wait. Another round of knocks.

“Fuck off, Victor!” I shout. “I told you next time you knock on that door when my brother’s not home, I’m going to blow a hole through it with a twelve gauge and claim self-defense!”

“Uh… it’s Liam.”

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

I stand quickly, ignoring the way my head spins at the sudden movement, and open the door. I don’t get a word in before Liam asks, “Who the fuck is Victor?”

The forty-year-old creep two doors down who has a penchant for teen girls who throw anger-induced fits. “No one.”

Liam looks around, and I steal the moment to take him in. It’s been five days since I’ve seen him, and he looks… like Liam—the kindest boy in the world. He also looks pissed. And… worried?

“What’s up?” I ask.

He refocuses on me, and now it’s his turn to take me in. I realize, too late, that I’m in one of Roman’s shirts—the same one I’ve been in for days—and practically nothing else.

“When,” Liam says.

I tug down on the bottom of my shirt and achieve nothing. “When… what?”

“When,” he repeats.

“No, I said what’s up? Not?—”

“When,” he says for the third time.

My head tilts to the side. “Huh?”

Liam stands to full height, leveling his shoulders, causing his gray tee to stretch across his broad chest. “When I asked you if you’d show me your favorite place in the world, you said, ‘ Just say when’ . So… I’m here, saying ‘ when’ .”

Any other time, this interaction would be sweet. Romantic, even. But I know why he’s here, and I hate it. “I take it you’ve seen the video?”

Liam crosses his arms, leans his shoulder against the doorframe. “Linc and I were gone for a few days, and I didn’t have a phone. Still don’t. But yeah, he showed me when we got back yesterday.”

I nod slowly, looking down at the floor, wishing it would miraculously open up and swallow me whole. “That’s great .”

“Addie…”

Reluctantly, I peer up at him.

“Will you show me?”

I heave out a sigh. “Why?”

He reaches over, takes my hand in his. “Because I’m asking you to.”

I force Liam to wait a solid fifteen minutes for me to shower, dress, and make myself presentable to anyone other than the imaginary strangers I talk to in the apartment.

When I get to the parking lot, Liam is waiting beside a truck, not his usual minivan.

He answers my unasked question, “Linc’s using the van for his driving test, so I borrowed my dad’s. ”

“Don’t you have a truck you don’t use?”

“Sold it this morning.” He jerks his head toward the phone in my hand. “I don’t have a phone, so you’re going to have to direct me.”

Besides me giving him directions, Liam and I don’t speak on the drive.

I don’t ask him how he’s been; he doesn’t ask what the actual fuck is wrong with me.

The junkyard is an hour away.

Or so I thought.

The old sign is there, still attached to the entrance booth, but—“It’s gone.” The words fall from my lips in a whisper as I sit taller, looking out over the vast, empty lot. I try to recall when I was here last… how old I was… but for the life of me, I can’t remember.

There used to be a chain-link fence that divided the parking lot from the yard, but that’s gone now, too, and so Liam drives right into the middle of the empty lot.

Tears well in my eyes—sudden and unexpected—and I let them blur the world around me…

as well as the memories that live inside me.

Like Roman holding my hand as we walked between cars, because he was always so afraid I’d trip and fall, get impaled by a random piece of metal.

His hand was so big compared to mine. So rough. So strong.

I’m sure if we held hands now, it would still feel the same.

Without a word, Liam cuts the engine and hops out. I watch as he rounds the truck to the tailgate, lowers it, then sits. I wait a moment, trying to gather my thoughts, my emotions, then follow his lead. For a solid minute, neither of us speaks. We just stare at the vast emptiness ahead.

“I’m sorry it’s gone, Addie,” he finally says, and my chest immediately tightens. His tone alone reminds me of the younger version of him, sitting in that nurse’s office with a broken arm. I hope you feel better, Addie.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “There was nothing on the listing indicating it had shut down, and now you drove all this way for nothing.”

“It’s not for nothing,” he murmurs.

I look down at my lap, my mind spinning. “I don’t know what I expected,” I tell him, just above a whisper. “Nothing here is the same as it used to be.” I’m not the same as I used to be.

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing, right?

” he says. I peer over at him, and he shrugs.

“You and I are talking now, and that wouldn’t have happened before.

” He turns to me, a slight frown marring his lips.

“I should’ve given you a chance to explain—about the boyfriend thing—before jumping to conclusions like I did. ”

My heart stills, just for a moment.

Immediately after Liam and I spoke last, I came to the heartbreaking conclusion that I’d likely never see him again, let alone speak to him.

So, the whole boyfriend issue? It stopped being an issue.

I hadn’t prepared an explanation, but now he’s here, and he’s asking, and it’s the least I can do.

“You weren’t completely wrong,” I start. “He is seeing other girls, but?—”

“And you’re okay with that?” he cuts in.

“I don’t really have a choice.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not something we’ve addressed.”

Liam doesn’t respond, and I can’t even imagine what’s going through his head.

“It’s complicated,” I add. And it’s also something I’ve never discussed with anyone. Ever. So I don’t know how I’m going to do it now…

“Look,” Liam says, half turning to me, “regardless of my role in any of this—you can’t let this guy treat you like shit, Addie.”

My eyes drift shut, instantly shrouding my world in darkness.

Of course he’s thinking about me . Of course he’s wanting what’s right for me .

Because that’s who Liam is at his core. He’s everything good and right in the world, and I’m…

not. And the events that led me to right here, right now, are proof of it. “I have to.”

“You have to?” The anger and frustration in his tone have my eyes snapping open.

“Yes,” I bite out.

He scoffs. “Why?”

“Because—” I can’t breathe through the ache. Through the pain of my past. Through the guilt of my actions. “Because he saved me…”

And ruined himself in the process.

Punishment for my crimes.