Page 24 of Level Up (Franklin U 2 #4)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Ryan

I paced in a circle around our dorm like a caged lion. Anxiety built up inside me, my entire body buzzing as if my skin was covered in tiny, invisible ants. I looked at the bed, where only a few hours earlier, Jay and I were having the time of our lives. It had practically been a religious experience. I saw God the moment I’d gone inside him, and I didn’t ever want to stop worshipping at his altar.

And him at mine.

Now this.

I messed up.

Jay was hurt, and it was my fault. The fact that I was the one who hurt him only made things a thousand times worse. And for something that my father was behind in the first place.

I just hoped I would get a chance to make things right.

I paced myself back to the bed, where I flopped down face-first into the pillow. I considered going to the gym and getting a workout in to try and ease the anxiety coiling up in my muscles. Sure, it was late, but the gym was twenty-four hours .

My phone rang.

Jay’s smiling face filled my screen. It was a picture I snapped of him yesterday at Passions. A bright blue light lit him from behind as his eyes caught the rays of a nearby disco ball.

I snatched the phone off the nightstand and answered. “Jay, fuck, I’m sorry. Before you hang up or something, I need to say I’m sorry. I messed up by not telling you sooner.”

There was a small moment of silence that felt as if it stretched on into a decade’s worth. “Ry, it’s okay. Meet me at that one spot near the tennis courts? We’ll talk there.”

“See you in a bit.”

He said it’s okay.

I raced to put on gym shorts and throw on a T-shirt. I didn’t realize it was on backward until I was out of the dorm and headed to the spot Jay talked about. I knew exactly what he meant.

I hurried down the quiet street, passing by a couple of giggling freshmen who must have gotten one of the upperclassmen to buy them alcohol. I took a turn and walked past the science building, the gym, and the library. The entire walk had me planning what I was going to say to him.

Jay, it’s not me. It’s my dad.

Jay, I swear I tried to stop him.

Jay, please believe me.

He sat at the table next to a small pond, the light from the full moon bouncing off the calm surface. It was dark out, but there was plenty of light from a nearby streetlamp so that I could see the brief flicker of a smile flash across Jay’s face when he saw me.

It made me forget about everything I was going to say. Instead, I settled for “I hate hurting you.”

Jay patted the empty space next to him. Okay, good. So I hadn’t made up that smile. He really didn’t seem to hate me as much as I thought.

“You didn’t hurt me. You just… surprised me. And not in a good way. You know how much I love surprises, but this one kind of sucked bull balls. Big ones. Hairy ones.”

That got a snort out of me. I quickly composed myself, although I saw the flash of that smile again. Like a bright comet streaking across the dark night sky.

“But I get it.”

Jay saying those four words was like applying aloe vera to a scalding burn.

“You do?” I asked.

Jay nodded. He reached for my hand and grabbed it. “Now it’s my turn: I’m sorry for overreacting. I blew up when I should have stayed and listened. That was messed up on my part. I was being a drama queen. So I’m sorry for that.”

His apology felt honest. “You don’t have to apologize, Jay.” I squeezed his hand. His smile no longer flickered.

“It’s what I get for dating the star of the show,” I said, leaning forward.

“Hardly the star.”

“More like… forget it.” I caught myself. The joke was too silly for the moment.

“Say it,” Jay said, eyes narrowed.

“No, no, seriously, it was dumb.”

“If it’ll make me laugh, I want to hear it.”

“I was gonna say ‘more like hard for the star.’ ”

Jay’s head dropped forward before he started to laugh, the sound drifting through the otherwise silent night like the sweetest melody I’d ever heard. “I told you it was dumb.”

“But it was funny,” he said, “and cute. And hot.”

I smiled and leaned in, slow. I put a hand on his shoulder, climbing up to his neck. I didn’t sense any tension or apprehension from him. Jay moved forward too. “Can I kiss you?” I asked.

“I’d never say no to you,” Jay responded.

Boom.

Galaxies were created, universes formed, planets birthed.

That’s how astronomical this kiss felt. I inhaled him, my lips parting, my tongue sliding over his. I could feel his smile. My heart beat a little faster, his hand resting high on my thigh, squeezing a little as he gave me a moan I eagerly swallowed.

We sat extra close, our legs pressed together, my hand on his lower back. There was a cluster of palm trees around the pond. Their thick leaves barely moved. This had immediately become one of my favorite spots on campus ever since Jay showed me it. It was semi-private, tucked away on a short trail that led away from one of the main sidewalks.

“You know why I find this spot so relaxing?” he asked, looking out at gentle pond. “Because it lets me feel close to my dad without stepping near a body of water I can’t see the end of. He loved the water, so being here reminds me of him without feeling tortured and terrified.”

I followed his gaze, seeing the serene water in a whole new way. “It tears me apart inside. Knowing what you’ve been through. I’m so sorry. ”

“It’s okay,” Jay said, taking in a deep breath and letting it flow right out. “I’ve come to terms with it. Mostly. Moments like these help. I feel like he’s looking down on me, especially when I sit here. I hope he’s proud of me.”

“I’ve got zero doubts he is,” I said, ignoring the sharp barb that my father left in my back with his disappointment.

“I hope so… and, Ryan, I have to say that I still need to go ahead with the protest at Beacon Bay. I know it’s against your dad’s company, but I can’t back down. No matter that we’re dating.”

“I totally get that,” I said. “It’s the right thing to do. And honestly, I hope you shut that shit down.”

“That’s… I appreciate that. I was nervous you’d feel the opposite way.”

“Nah, fuck that. My dad has enough money—he doesn’t need to be doing this. He doesn’t need to be doing any of the crap he’s doing. And I tried to get him to stop but clearly couldn’t get through to him.”

“It’s shitty, for sure.” Jay pursed his lips, his puppy dog eyes catching the light. “But thank you. For fighting.”

“It’s okay. It was the least I could do.”

I squeezed his hand in mine. His fingers were so much smaller than mine. Like holding some kind of rare and delicate bird. My protective instincts flared. “Would you…” Jay started before cutting his question short, shaking his head.

“What?” I asked, my turn now to probe a little.

“Nothing, nothing.”

“What is it?” I gave him a smirk. “I told you my dumb joke, now you can ask me your smart question. ”

He rolled his eyes, but his smile grew wider. “I was going to ask if you would consider, uh, signing my petition. You can do it anonymously.” There was something in the way he hesitated that made me second-guess if that were really his original question. There was a part of me that felt as if he was about to ask me if I could show up to the protest. I may not be completely savvy with PR, but even I could see how big of a message that could be.

One I didn’t know I was ready to send.

“Come,” I said, grabbing his hand. “Let’s go buy some Red Bulls, pick a chill spot in the library, and we can figure out how you can make the biggest impact. And yes, of course I’ll sign your petition.”

“Really?” Jay asked, sounding surprised. He rose when I did, hand still in mine. Felt like home. Felt so damn nice.

“Yeah, of course. I want to help however I can.”

Jay swallowed loudly, looking almost as if he were at a loss for words. “Why the library?” he asked.

“Because if we go back to our dorm, I know I’m going to have you naked and on top of me in five seconds flat.”

“Touché,” Jay said. “Touché.” He gave a yawn that he covered with the back of his hand.

“Actually… it’s been a long night. Let’s go back and cuddle? We can plot and plan in the morning. I’m already meeting Maddy and Colt to talk about it.”

“That sounds great to me, too.”

We got back to the dorm, and we did, in fact, only take five seconds to get naked again. But this time, we weren’t as ravenous and primal as earlier. Exhaustion already caught up to us. Jay and me got into my bed under the covers, Jay tucked himself against me (and my boner), and I held him until we both went to sleep.

The last thought in my head that night being, This must be what finding paradise feels like.