Page 13 of Level Up (Franklin U 2 #4)

Chapter Thirteen

Jay

Maddy tossed her hands in the air and gave an exasperated shout. A few people around us jerked up and looked in our direction. I put up an apologetic hand and offered a sorry smile as they got back to whatever they were doing.

“Ugh,” Maddy said. “I quit. Completely. How the hell am I supposed to study for this MCAT when all I want to do is roll around in the grass? Or take a nap? Or stare at paint drying? Whatever the heck I can do that isn’t reading through this.” She lifted the huge study guide that must have been the size of her head. She dropped it on the ground.

I half expected it would create an earthquake.

We sat outside on the bright green lawn outside the science building. I was done with classes for the day, so Maddy met up with me to study. Except we never really studied much whenever we got together. I was almost grateful I had only met Maddy this semester. If I met her freshman year, we would have likely failed out of multiple classes .

“Want some coffee?” I asked, stretching my arms and yawning. “’Cause I do.”

“Sure. Get me one with an extra shot of espresso. Two extra shots.”

I stood and walked around the carpet of green grass, following the path that led to Bean Necessities, one of the coffee carts around campus that had some of the best damn drinks I’d ever tasted. Especially their vanilla bean. That shit was out of this world.

“Hey, Austin,” I said, greeting the barista. We were already on a first-name basis. “How’s it going?”

“Alright,” he said, his cheeks getting slightly red to match his hair. He had a dusting of freckles and an incredibly shy demeanor. I liked him.

“What ya reading lately?” I pointed at his Kindle on the cart. Austin always had it with him. I wasn’t a huge reader, but I could appreciate someone who had the ability to get lost in a book. I could do the same with plays and scripts, but when it came to reading fiction, my brain tended to drift.

“ Flowers of the Diamond Sun . A high fantasy romance novel. Just came out a few days ago. Good stuff.”

“Do they all get high in it?”

Austin laughed at that. “No, not yet, at least. High fantasy means it’s set in another world than ours. With castles and dragons and witches and stuff. The romance comes with the smut.”

That got a belly laugh out of me. “Sounds good. Maybe I’ll pick it up later.”

“You should. Let me know what you think about it. ”

I promised I would before ordering the coffee. I walked back to our spot on the lawn, the sun beaming bright and warming my hands almost as much as the coffee. Maddy took hers in both hands with a grateful dip of her head and started to sip. I sat across from her, closing my notebook and leaning back.

My show was tonight. I had one last rehearsal in an hour, and then it’d be opening night. I should have been going over some last-minute things, but all I could do was keep thinking about Ryan and what happened between us the other day. The dam had broken, my basement completely flooded, my heart shot through with Cupid’s arrow.

It meant trouble.

“You missed some drama at the beach cleanup the other day.”

“Oh?” I asked. “What happened?”

“Well, Everly, the TA, was there, and so was Professor Sinclair. Something happened between them, I think. There was some secret touching or something. I’m not a hundred percent sure on the deets, but whatever happened spooked the professor because he had a pretty sudden exit.”

“Ooookay, that really doesn’t tell me anything.”

“I didn’t say I knew all the tea,” Maddy said with a shrug. “I just think something’s going on.”

“Did you guys pick up a lot of trash?”

“About twenty-five bags’ worth.”

“Good,” I said, sipping the coffee. There were notes of vanilla and lavender, with a dash of cinnamon. Shit was heaven in a cup.

“I think I want to set something up there. A protest to try and stop the drilling project… Why didn’t you come? Were you fooling around with your new boy toy slash roomie?”

“No, he was at practice.”

“Ah, so if he wasn’t, you two would be fooling around?” She crossed her arms, covering the FU letters on her purple-and-gold shirt.

“…Maybe.”

“Mhmm,” Maddy said. “We’re circling back to that, but first, what do you think about a Beacon’s Bay protest on the beach?”

My stomach twisted like a pretzel. “I’m not good with open bodies of water. I can maybe help you organize it, but I don’t think I can show up.” Even talking about it started making my palms sweat, my chest tighten.

I sucked in a deep breath. I tried to focus on the firm and solid ground underneath my feet. Therapy had given me the tools to deal with the pain of losing my dad and the survivor’s guilt that came with it, but I still wasn’t fully healed from it.

“You okay? You’re a little pale there.”

“I’m…” The world started to spin. I tasted salt water in my mouth. Could hear lightning clapping in the far distance. Up and down. Up and down. The salt burned my eyes. Or was that the tears?

All torture I imagined my dad experiencing.

“Jesus, what happened?” Maddy shifted to my side, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

That was all I needed to crack open like an egg dropped from a table.

I broke down and told Maddy what happened to me. For the second time that week, I found myself retelling my story. By the time I finished, it felt cathartic. Like every time I spoke about it, I inched one step closer to fully dealing with it. Maddy looked completely shocked. She wiped away tears of her own. She shook her head, left speechless. I leaned my head on her shoulder, and we sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

“I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. It feels better talking about it.” I picked myself up, tried to stop my bottom lip from quivering. Things were okay. I was okay. Everything was okay.

“Forget about the beach protest. We can do something else.”

I shook my head, placing both hands down into the grass. It was the grounding force I needed. “No, after talking about it with you, I think I want to try it. I think it’s a good idea. I’ll just help put it together, but I don’t think I can show.”

Her warm brown eyes were full of concern. She brushed a strand of strawberry-pink hair from her face. “I never want to put you in a position where you’re scared or uncomfortable.”

“Sometimes you have to be put in those positions to grow. Like how a forest comes back stronger after a fire tears it down.”

“That’s so true.” Maddy squeezed my hand in hers. “You’re so strong. You’re the strongest person I know.”

“Thank you. Seriously.”

“I love you,” she said, wrapping me up in another tight hug.

“Love you too, girlie.”

She kissed my cheek and sat back. The conversation shifted away from me and my past. We started talking about the show tonight and how Maddy was finally going to see me perform. Her excitement was contagious, getting my nerves revving for tonight. I didn’t typically get nervous onstage, but the hours leading up to it were definitely shaky with nail-biting and carpet-pacing moments.

“Speaking of audience members, is a certain muscular gamer guy going to be attending?”

I immediately knew who she was talking about. “No, I didn’t get him a ticket.”

“How do you know he hasn’t already gotten one?”

“Because I don’t think he has.” I shook my head, dropping my face into my hands. “I don’t know. The guy’s dangerous. Like, in a sexy way. I think I’m falling for him.”

“I knew it,” Maddy said, slapping her leg.

“Shit. You did? I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what? Getting dicked down on the regular?”

I laughed at that. “No, there hasn’t been any dicking down. Well, kind of. And I’m sorry because he’s a Redpine. His family represents everything I’m fighting against.”

Maddy gave me a look, head tilted to the side and eyes narrowed to slits. “There are plenty of people who aren’t the same as their family. And I see how you guys look at each other when we’re hanging out. It’s sickening. In a good way.”

“He is really fun to be around. And he has shown he’s a good person. Or at least acts like one.”

“ Exacccctly ,” Maddy said.

“But imagine if I’m working on this protest with you, and then people put the pieces together? We won’t be taken seriously.”

Maddy chewed her cheek. She thought on that for a bit. It was the same issue that always stumped me, and it appeared she didn’t have any easy answers, either. “Do you like him?”

“I do,” I said .

“Do you like being around him?”

“I do,” I said. “A lot.”

“Do you like hooking up with him?”

I paused. “Abso-fucking-lutely.”

“Then, there you go. I think you figured it all out yourself.”

I chuckled, glad I could be this honest with Maddy. I was the kind of person who needed a solid soundboard to bounce ideas and feelings off. “And… I can’t believe I’m even saying this out loud, but he called himself ‘Daddy’ the other day, and I nearly flew off into orbit it was so fucking hot.”

Maddy started to laugh. “He’s not even that much older than you.”

“I know, but his energy was. It didn’t matter, I was into it.”

“Then keep being into it! Don’t hold yourself back from a good thing.” Her face lit up as if she got the most brilliant idea. “Give him a comp ticket. Have him show up tonight. Then maybe I can do some digging and find out where he stands on all things Redpine.”

I sighed. Secretly, yes, of course I wanted Ryan there. I wanted him sitting front row and center. I wanted to be able to pinpoint him in the audience even through the bright wash of the stage lights.

I also didn’t want things to get more complicated than they already were.

But talking about it with Maddy made me wonder… who was I so scared of disappointing? Was it the people around me, or was it the one person who watched from above me? The thought of letting my dad down, even after his passing, was what really tore at my heart .

Would I be able to move passed that gut-wrenching feeling?

“I’ll think about it,” I said. There was still time for me to make a decision. I could invite him and be sure he was there, or I could leave it up to fate. Whatever happened, happened.

I liked that option.

But did I like the other more?