Page 47 of Leather and Longing (Island Tales #3)

Chapter Thirty-Six

Adam wasn’t going to lie, not about this.

“It feels amazing. Seeing him there, tied to my cross while I worked over the top of his back, shoulders, and arse. It could be anything from a gentle massage to something that tears him up.” He lifted his chin and stared in Paul’s direction.

“But that’s not what you really wanted to know, is it?

What you want to know is how it feels to be flogged, firsthand. ”

Paul’s breathing grew uneven. “Yes,” he whispered.

Adam reached across for his laptop on Paul’s knee, took it from him, closed it and placed it beside him on the bed. He swallowed hard and felt for Paul’s hand, curling his fingers around it. Paul’s hand was clammy.

“Paul,” he began, unwilling to say the words but knowing there was no other option. “I… I can’t do that. I can’t give you that, babe.” The endearment slipped out, unforced, natural.

“I know.” Paul sounded calm, composed. “It’s okay, honest. I do understand. You’d want to watch me, watch my reactions, make sure I was safe.”

Fuck, he really does get it.

“Yes.” Fuck, this hurt. Adam couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.

“Besides, I bet there are other things we could do, right?” Adam couldn’t miss the brightness in Paul’s voice. “And I’ve loved what we’ve done so far.”

Forced brightness, he was certain of it.

I want to give Paul what he wants—what he needs—but I can’t.

Could he?

When the idea came to him, Adam knew he’d have to tread carefully.

“Paul, can I ask you to keep an open mind for a few minutes?”

“Uh, sure.” That note of wariness spoke louder than Paul’s words.

Adam sucked in a lungful of air and let it out slowly. “What if I was to bring someone else here, who could give you what you need? A friend?”

Paul withdrew his hand from Adam’s grasp. “Are you talking about a threesome?” The words were choked out.

“ Fuck , no!” Adam hastened to reassure him. “Oh, God, I’d never ask you to do that.” He didn’t hesitate, throwing his arm around Paul’s shoulders, drawing him close. Adam pressed his lips to Paul’s temple in a gentle kiss.

Paul breathed easier, his hand tentative on Adam’s thigh. Adam covered it with his own. “Then what are you talking about? What friend?”

“His name is Seth. He’s a Dom at the club where I was a member.

” Adam huffed. “And he’s the only one of them who bothered to stay in touch.

He’s also proficient with floggers, whips, canes, anything like that.

” Adam paused to let his words sink in. “If I asked him, Seth would come here to deliver a flogging. And that’s all he’d deliver,” Adam stressed.

“He has a boy of his own at home and they don’t play with others, at least, not in the sexual sense. ”

Paul’s breathing had evened out. “I’m listening.”

Thank God for that.

“I’d be with you the whole time. I wouldn’t leave you for an instant. And if you want it to stop, it stops, just like that.”

“This Seth is an expert? Have you seen him work?”

“Yes to both questions. I wouldn’t ask him if I wasn’t completely sure about him, if I didn’t trust him totally.” Adam was focused on every breath Paul took. It was all he had to go on.

“You… you really think he’d come here?”

“Yes, I think so. The point is, do you want me to ask him?” Adam held his breath.

Let me do this for you.

Paul inhaled deeply. “And you’d be there?”

Adam smiled. “I’d hold your hand the entire time if that was what you wanted.”

Another inhalation. “Yes. Ask him, please.”

“I’ll call him in a minute.” Adam squeezed Paul’s hand. “You sure about this?” There was still time to change his mind.

Paul shuddered out a long breath. “Yeah, I’m sure. Thank you, Adam. I know you’d rather it was you, but…”

Adam brought Paul’s fingers to his lips and kissed them. “You need to know if this is for you.” His stomach growled.

Paul chuckled. “How about we go downstairs and make breakfast together?”

Adam could go with that.

And after breakfast he’d speak to Seth, when Paul wasn’t around to hear him.

Adam needed to talk to someone.

Paul opened the fridge door, peered inside and closed it again, debating what to make for lunch. Not that he was thinking about food.

He was thinking about Adam.

Paul couldn’t help noticing how quiet he’d been since he’d come downstairs for breakfast. Adam appeared preoccupied, his mind elsewhere, and after the night they’d spent together, it was enough to set Paul’s stomach churning. Hell, all his insides were quivering.

What did I do wrong?

The one thing he could think of was that he’d been too tender, too intent on enjoying Adam’s body, too wrapped up in the sensuality of it all.

Think about it. He seemed to enjoy it last night, but ever since then he’s touched me differently .

Adam’s caresses had been softer, more sensual.

Is that because he thinks that’s how I want it to be?

But does he want this? Paul’s heart pounded, his breathing ragged at the memory of Adam bringing Seth into the conversation.

Does he want a submissive, not a lover?

It didn’t matter that he’d loved every single minute of their night together. If he and Adam were going to have a future, then Paul would have to provide what Adam needed, even though that might require some changes.

I don’t want to lose him.

His phone warbled in his pocket. He connected the call when he saw it was Taylor. “Hey.”

“Happy Sunday! The sun is shining, it’s an Indian summer and it’s lovely and warm down here. You’re coming to lunch at the Beach Shack with me, Mark and Sam.”

Paul had to smile at his forthright friend. “Lunch? Now?”

“I’m not gonna take no for an answer,” Taylor stated firmly.

“I haven’t seen you for a couple of weeks.

It’s the only day Mark and Sam have available to come over, and we want to see you.

We’ve missed you.” Taylor’s voice softened.

“David’s gonna stay at home: he’s into the final chapters of his book and he’d prefer to have me out of the way.

” He chuckled. “Not that he’d ever say as much, but I know him. ”

Ordinarily Paul would’ve said yes instantly, but Adam’s subdued mood made him hesitate.

“Taylor, thanks for the invite, but not today.”

“Aww, Paul,” he whined. “How often do the four of us manage to do this, huh? What with your job, Mark’s salon, Sam working till all hours on his computer…” He sighed heavily. “Give me one good reason why not.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to see you, Mark and Sam, it’s just that….” Paul paused, unsure of how to frame his apprehension. “I don’t want to leave Adam on his own, that’s all.”

“Fine,” Taylor huffed. “You’ll be missed though. Call me soon, okay?”

“I will, I promise.” Paul disconnected and pocketed the phone. There was still the matter of lunch to think about.

And trying to ignore the dull ache in his chest.

“Call him back.”

Paul gave a start. “God, Adam, you made me jump.”

Adam stood in the doorway, his forehead furrowed. “Call him back and tell him you’ve changed your mind,” he repeated.

Paul was at a loss. “Why? I don’t mind not going, honestly. I was going to make us some lunch, and?—”

“I am perfectly capable nowadays of making myself something to eat,” Adam said, his jaw set. “I can even cope with the intricacies of making a sandwich.” He bit his lip, his fingers gripping the door frame. “I know you don’t think of me as an invalid, Paul, but just now? You made me feel like one.”

Shit .

Paul swallowed hard. Adam had a point. “You’re right,” he said with a sigh. “And yes, you are perfectly capable of feeding yourself. I’m sorry, I… I wasn’t sure if you were having a bad day, in which case I didn’t want you to be on your own.”

Adam’s shoulders sagged and his expression grew less tight.

“I’m sorry for the way I reacted. Maybe I’m being overly sensitive.

You just caught me on the raw, I think.” He walked toward Paul, hand outstretched, and Paul took it.

“Thank you for thinking of me. I do appreciate it. But now get out and go eat some of Andy’s delicious crab tart or something with your friends.

And there’s no need to hurry back. I will be fine.

” He pulled Paul to him, feeling for his face, and kissed him.

“I’m going to the office.” He left Paul in the kitchen.

Paul stared after him.

He’s got something on his mind.

The temptation to stay and work out what was bothering Adam was huge, but he knew Adam wouldn’t be happy if he did.

Paul fished out his phone and went to his call history. “Taylor? I’ll be down there in a minute.” He disconnected the call, the last sound he heard a whoop from Taylor. Paul took a deep breath. If he were honest, he could do with talking to his friends.

Maybe they can help me sort out the mess in my head.

Adam leaned on the railing of the veranda, the sun warm on his face. Paul had left about ten minutes ago, under strict instructions to enjoy time with his friends. He needed some downtime.

He pulled his phone from his pocket. “Call Seth.”

After three or four rings, Seth answered. “Hey, everything okay?”

Adam took a deep breath. “You got time for a chat? I need to talk through some stuff, and you’re the first person I thought of.” The only person.

“I’ve always got time for you,” Seth replied. “What’s on your mind?”

Adam took a good gulp of salty sea air and poured out everything that had happened: Paul’s curiosity about BDSM, the toys scene, the conversation about flogging.

.. He laid bare his feelings, because if Seth was going to advise him, he needed to know everything.

Seth listened without a sound and when Adam had finished, he felt wrung out.

There was a moment’s silence before Seth spoke. “Well, fuck. I leave you alone for five minutes and you go and fall in love.”

Adam wasn’t about to deny it. “It doesn’t matter if I have. I don’t think this can work.”

“Why not? Paul sounds perfect for you. He stands up to you, sasses you, encourages you… and he clearly cares for you.”

“And what if he wants more than I can give him?”

Silence. “Adam, what does he want?”

“I don’t know!” The groan was wrenched from his lips.

Seth sighed. “Then you need to find out,” he said practically. “Was that the only reason you called? To tell someone all this?”

“I told him I couldn’t do a flogging scene—but I said you could.” He paused. “Well, you did say you’d come over here for a visit.”

“And how did he react?”

“Once I’d assured him I’d be with him the whole time, and that you’d be here strictly to flog him and nothing else, he said I was to call you.” Adam swallowed. “Well? What do you think?”

Another pause. “I’d do anything for you, okay? And yes, I’ll do it, provided I get to meet with him first, talk things through, get a feel for him… Does he have a safeword?”

“Not yet, but he will have by the time you arrive. And I’ll make sure his head is in the right space too.”

He caught the flick of pages.

“I can be there tomorrow afternoon.”

Adam blinked. “So soon?”

“I’m looking at what time I can give you, and to be honest, it’s not a good idea to leave him hanging, not once you’ve brought up the subject and got him thinking about it.

I’ll check the ferry times and let you know when I’ll be there.

I’ll bring the bike. Message me the address, and I’ll use Google Maps.

” He chuckled. “I can’t wait to meet this guy. ”

Adam breathed easier. “I’ll make you laugh now.

Wait till you hear what he did for my birthday.

” He spent the next few minutes regaling Seth with the story of the cake.

When Seth stopped laughing, Adam said his goodbyes and disconnected.

He slipped his phone into his jeans pocket and stood on the veranda, listening to the cries of the seagulls overhead.

The following day would tell both him and Paul a lot.

The sun warmed his face, and he caught the sound of children’s laughter down on the beach. It was such a beautiful day.

Adam’s heart pounded when the idea occurred to him.

Time to step out of the comfort zone.