Page 46 of Leather and Longing (Island Tales #3)

Chapter Thirty-Five

Paul stirred, snuggling back against the warm body wrapped around him. Adam’s arm lay across his chest, his hand resting over Paul’s sternum, his breath stirring the hair behind Paul’s ear. Sunlight crept in through the window and the waves lapped the shore below.

It was a perfect morning after a night of utterly blissful lovemaking.

Paul closed his eyes to shut out the light and focus inward on his memories.

Waking when all was dark, turning in Adam’s arms to cuddle up against that broad chest and finding Adam awake, too.

No words, only soft kisses, gentle touches, stroking and caressing.

Shallow breaths while fingers explored, tongues teased, and bodies rocked gently together.

Minute sounds while Adam readied both of them before moving to lie between Paul’s thighs, Paul’s hand guiding Adam until he was all the way inside with one long, slow push.

Paul wrapping himself around Adam and holding onto him while Adam slid unhurriedly in and out of him.

Still no words, but their mingled moans and low cries were enough.

Bodies trembling as they came, Paul first, Adam remaining deep inside him while they held each other until Adam’s softened cock slid from his sweetly aching hole.

Paul rolling Adam onto his back and slipping out of bed to go to the bathroom.

On his return, after the briefest of clean-ups, Paul had slid between the sheets to lose himself in the warm haven of Adam’s arms.

Lying there in the morning light, it was easier to enjoy the moment than confront what was niggling him.

Do I listen to what’s in my head or my heart?

Paul had to face facts: he was falling in love with Adam.

The most obvious reason why that couldn’t happen was that Adam was his boss.

Adam doesn’t want a relationship.

Only thing was, Paul did.

He’d argued with himself that it wasn’t love, it was a crush, lust, infatuation, anything but the L word.

But it was difficult to keep thinking like that when he’d take one look at Adam’s face and be aware of the ache inside him.

When he woke up each morning and the first thought through his head was that he was going to spend the day with Adam.

When Adam’s smile made his day brighter.

When all he wanted to do was make Adam smile more.

Who was he kidding? All he wanted to do was tell Adam how he felt.

Which was where his head came in.

Paul didn’t believe for a second Adam would fire him if he knew the depth of Paul’s feelings, but he’d have to be stupid not to realize it would alter their relationship. Adam didn’t want a lover.

At least, that was how Paul assumed Adam felt. He hadn’t been specific about where their sexual antics might—or might not—lead.

Paul’s head was still being practical.

Don’t rock the boat.

Leave things as they are.

Stop crushing on him.

He doesn’t need to know.

Why ruin everything?

His heart?

Screw it—tell him. What if he feels the same way?

Think about last night: that wasn’t fucking—that was making love.

It might have been Paul topping Adam, but Adam had still been in charge.

At least, it had seemed that way, up until the point where Paul had threatened to gag him. What had followed had blown him away.

It’s not my imagination, is it? Adam had let go, shown Paul a glimpse of the man he kept hidden deep, and Paul wanted more. Now all he had to do was find a way to let Adam know he wanted more—without scaring him off.

“Good morning.” Adam stretched, shifting behind him and drawing Paul closer. “That was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in ages.” He kissed Paul’s neck, sending a shiver rippling through him.

Damn the man. Does he know every spot that turns me on?

Probably.

“Morning.” Paul held himself still, his breathing even. Adam didn’t move, in fact showed no sign of wanting to do anything other than lie there embracing Paul. He brushed the pad of his thumb over Paul’s nipple, and Paul couldn’t repress the quiver that made its way down his spine.

Adam chuckled into his ear. “Oh, you are awake, then. You were so still, I thought you’d fallen asleep, except there were none of those cute little noises you make.”

Paul slowly turned in Adam’s arms. “Are you insinuating that I snore?” he demanded.

Adam guffawed. “Insinuating? Hell, I’m flat outright saying it.

But please note, I did say it was cute,” he added, his hands warm on Paul’s spine, languidly stroking in a slow upward curve over his shoulder blades before sliding down to his lower back, where the curve of his arse began.

The gentle caresses were intimate, sensual…

and Paul knew exactly where they were leading.

He wriggled free of Adam’s embrace and climbed out of bed. “On that note, I’ll go downstairs and make the coffee.” He pulled on a pair of shorts.

Adam rolled onto his back, laced his fingers behind his head and let out a contented sigh. “I might lie here a little longer. It is Sunday, after all. I deserve a lie-in after my week.”

Paul had to agree. It had been a productive five days for Adam. He’d begun making notes for his new book and was clearly excited about the prospect of writing it.

“Not that you don’t deserve a lie-in, too.”

Paul halted in the doorway and turned. “You think so?”

Adam nodded. “How many chapters did you type up this week? Six?” He smiled. “I listened to them yesterday. You included all the changes I’d made, the references, quotations… Don’t think for a minute I’m not aware of how hard you work, Paul.”

Damn. Paul loved the fact that he’d pleased Adam. His cheeks grew hot, and his chest swelled. “Thank you. It’s always good to receive praise.”

“I woke up with an idea. I saved some photos about a year ago of the last boat I crewed across the Atlantic. I was going to email them to Eric. I thought he might be interested.”

“He’d love that.”

“I thought you might help me find them. They’re on my laptop somewhere. Could you bring it upstairs with the coffee?” Adam smiled. “We can stay in bed and look for them.”

“So it’s a working lie-in?” Paul said with a chuckle. “I can cope with that.”

He left the room, head held high, Adam’s praise still warm on his skin.

Adam listened to the familiar sounds drifting up the stairs from the kitchen. Paul was singing while he prepared the coffee. That simple fact spread a wave of contentment through him.

I made him happy.

It was a great feeling. Of course, it wasn’t the only thing making Adam content.

He had a really good afterglow going for him.

Adam was no stranger to the sensual glow that followed good sex, but he knew from experience it never lasted very long.

The bright flare of an orgasm, and then poof, it was gone.

What was left was the memory and the benefits of a nice cardiac workout, as well as a reduction in stress levels.

A real sexual afterglow, one that lasted long after the event, was rare for him, and it took more than good sex to achieve it.

It was nothing to do with the type of sex, and everything to do with what both partners brought to it.

There had to be trust, honesty, communication…

Is that why last night felt different?

It was true Adam felt a connection with Paul, something that was atypical of his hook ups.

It was in man’s genes to be wired for sexual pleasure and reproduction, but also for attachment to others, to form bonds.

For the first time, Adam had to acknowledge that as a human being, it was also in his genes to be pre-programed to experience love.

Love. Sexual love. Romantic love. It didn’t matter which way Adam looked at it, all the signs were there.

He was falling in love with Paul—and it was never going to work.

Adam sat up in bed and forced himself to be objective.

It didn’t matter that the sex was phenomenal. That Paul appeared to understand Adam better than anyone he’d ever met. No, if Adam couldn’t provide what Paul needed, then they had no future together.

What if… what if Paul wants what I want? A lover, a partner? More than just someone to help him explore his kinks?

Fuck. Thinking about it sent a jolt through Adam’s body and made him tingle all over. The irony of it all hadn’t escaped him. He’d gone into this so sure of what he wanted, so confident it was only a matter of meeting each other’s sexual needs, romance not even on the horizon…

And now look at me.

He was a mess.

And there was something else. Paul was there to do a job—to help Adam regain his independence. That job had a shelf life, one that would expire eventually.

A relationship implied saddling Paul with a blind guy. And why would a twenty-five-year-old want to do that?

One way or another, Adam needed to know where this was going.

Paul returned, and Adam welcomed the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. He caught the clink of mugs on the bedside table, then the mattress dipped as Paul climbed into the bed bedside him. Adam reached for him, his fingers encountering bare flesh.

Paul chuckled again. “Yes, I’m still naked. I’m starting to think I may as well spend my days this way. You know, to save time.”

Adam palmed his filling cock. “Fucking the assistant over his desk… That sounds like a good way to go.”

Paul laughed. “And a very good way to get no work done.” There was a pause. “Okay, I’m firing up the laptop. What am I looking for?”

“A folder entitled Ron Berman. He’s the photographer who travelled with me. He was taking shots for a yachting magazine and asked to come along.” He leaned back against the pillows, listening to Paul’s fingers on the keyboard.

Then the silence hit him.

“Did you find them?”

Adam could barely hear him breathing. The atmosphere had a familiar feel to it, reminiscent of when Paul had found…

Ah.

Adam reached over for his mug and brought it to his lips. He took a sip before speaking.

“I’m going to hazard a guess you found a folder entitled Leather. Am I correct?”

“Yes.” A tremor in Paul’s voice.

“Those photos were taken for a book Ron was writing about the leather and fetish culture in the US. Most of them were taken in San Francisco at the Dore Alley Fair and the Folsom Street Fair. That was when I first met Ron.” Adam paused, giving Paul time to absorb the images.

He could only imagine the thoughts that were racing through Paul’s head right then.

The photos didn’t pull any punches.

“Wow. These are just…”

Adam concentrated, trying to pick out the different emotions in Paul’s voice. There was a touch of awe, but what remained was a mix of longing and fear.

Fuck. I’d give anything to see his face right now. The situation brought home to him how much he’d relied on body language in the past to ascertain a sub’s moods and needs.

Adam hated working in the dark.

“Do you miss the club?”

Paul’s question tugged Adam back into the present. He opened his mouth to reply in the negative, but something stopped him. This was Paul. Of all people, Adam could be honest with him.

“Yes, sometimes,” he said simply. “It was such a huge part of my life.”

“Tell me about it.” Adam didn’t miss the eager note in Paul’s voice.

Adam smiled. “What do you want to know? You’ve already seen what I used in the club, my fiendish devices, as it were.” He snickered and Paul joined him.

“Okay then, what were your top three things to do with a submissive?”

It was a reasonable enough question, Adam supposed, until he realised Paul had just handed him a gift, a light to show the way out of Adam’s present darkness. Adam’s heart pounded.

Think of it as a test. See how he reacts.

“I always enjoyed a bit of CBT—that’s cock and ball torture to you—although I’m not sure my submissives got quite the same level of enjoyment out of it that I did.”

The hiss that followed told Adam all he needed to know. “Yeah, I saw one of your cock rings. The spikes were on the inside. Er, no thank you. What else?”

“Using sounds was always a favourite. Watching a sub’s face when I let that sound slip all the way down into his dick.”

Paul sucked in air through his teeth. “Yow. I’ve seen your box of sounds too. Some of those are really thick.”

Strike two.

Adam took a breath. “I guess one of my favorite activities was taking a flogger to a sub’s back.”

Paul drew in a deep breath and held it.

Bingo .

“What… What does it feel like to flog someone?”