Page 27 of Leather and Longing (Island Tales #3)

Chapter Twenty-One

Paul’s head was spinning, trying to deal with the one-eighty Adam had pulled on him.

If he really means it….

He gave himself a mental shake. Adam’s track record was bad enough for him to doubt his words.

That doesn’t mean I should carry on doubting him .

He gazed at Adam’s furrowed brow, his hunched shoulders. Paul cleared his throat.

“Apology accepted. I have an idea. Shall we start again?”

Adam smiled and visibly relaxed. “I like that idea. And I mentioned Saturday night because after overhearing your phone conversation, I wanted to know more about you. I liked what I heard.” His lips twisted into a smirk. “As if you couldn’t tell.”

Paul didn’t know what to say to that. The sex had been fantastic, but Adam’s behaviour the following morning had taken all the shine off it.

Adam’s face fell. “And about that… I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Which part?” Paul fired back at him. “Because you said a lot of things, as I recall.” He scrubbed his hand across his face with a sigh. “I’m sorry. That was wrong of me, especially after you’ve apologized.”

“No, no, you’re entitled to be pissed off. Like I said, I put you through so much shit.” He raised his chin to give the impression he was staring straight at Paul. “The sex wasn’t okay, all right? It was really good. At least it was from where I was sitting.”

Paul’s face heated up. “Oh.” His voice cracked. “Okay.” His cheeks weren’t the only part of his anatomy that were hot. Down, boy. This was neither the time nor the place. That didn’t stop the thought from crossing his mind.

Does this mean we get to do it again?

Detente or not, he wasn’t about to ask.

Adam, the swine, was grinning. “I love how you can go from dropping your trousers and offering up your arse to be spanked one minute, to that adorable squeak I heard just now.” He coughed. “And speaking of spanking…”

Paul’s heartbeat sped up.

“How long have you been interested in the dark side?”

Paul was so glad he wasn’t drinking anything at that point. “Dark side?” Not that he didn’t know exactly what Adam meant. His pulse raced.

“I have an excellent memory,” Adam informed him. “And I quote, ‘ I’m a kinky little shit. ’ Care to explain that one?”

Paul snorted. “I could ask you the same question, having seen what’s contained in those boxes in the dining room.”

Adam raised his hand. “Fair point. So in the spirit in which I mean to continue, I’ll go first, shall I?”

Paul nodded and then kicked himself. “Yes, please.” Sometimes he forgot Adam couldn’t see him.

“What are you two up to down there?” Shane yelled. “You’re missing the fun. We’re all going swimming.”

It took a second or two for Paul to register that the engine had stopped.

Adam sighed. “Not exactly an activity I feel like participating in at the moment.”

Paul had another brainwave. “No, but we can talk up on deck. I know them, they’ll be in the water for a good while.” He smiled. “Besides, it’s about time I worked on my tan.”

Adam nodded. “Let’s do it.”

Paul went first, emerging into the strong sunlight, blinking. It was a beautiful afternoon. On deck the six men were busily stripping off their clothing.

“You go ahead,” he told the others. “Adam and I will stay on board.”

“Have fun,” Eric said with a grin and leaped out of the boat, creating a huge splash when he hit the water. One by one the others followed, and soon the sound of laughter and splashing filled the air.

Paul turned to Adam. “How d’you feel about getting some sun?

I was going to strip off and lie on deck.

There are plenty of towels if you want to join me.

That is, if you don’t mind them seeing you when they get back on board.

” From the little he knew about Adam, Paul didn’t think he’d be fazed about public nudity.

Adam smiled. “God, I can’t remember the last time I sunbathed.

Good plan.” He put down his cane and the pair of them stripped off.

Paul took two large towels from a locker and spread them out on the deck.

Adam stretched out on the towel, turning his face toward to the sun.

“Damn, that feels good. I always forget how great it feels to sunbathe in the nude.”

Paul had to agree. In the summer he often visited the nudist beach at Yaverland. On more than one occasion, he’d run into Mark and Sam down there on a Sunday. It was apparently a special place for them.

He gazed at Adam’s nude form, glad for the absence of his friends. It would have been embarrassing to have had to explain away Paul’s erection.

How could I not be hard, lying next to… that?

He lay down on his own towel, wriggling until he was comfortable and trying not to stare at Adam. “Okay, where were we?”

Adam was quiet for a moment. “I suppose I should begin with the stuff about me you wouldn’t find on Google.”

Paul snickered. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“You’ve seen the contents of those boxes, so there’s no point being coy. For about fifteen years I was a member of a BDSM club in London.” He paused. “I’m assuming here you know what I mean by BDSM.”

Paul cleared his throat. “That would be a yes.” He slid his hand down to palm his stiff dick. Adam’s nostrils flared and for one moment it crossed Paul’s mind that his boss knew exactly what he’d done. Heat raced through him.

Can he smell me? Does arousal have a scent of its own?

Adam half-turned his head toward Paul. “I used to go there every weekend and sometimes midweek if I needed to… unwind.”

Several images flashed through Paul’s mind: Adam in a harness like the ones he’d seen; Adam wielding a whip; Adam with Paul stretched out over his knee, that large hand coming down hard onto his bare arse, the skin hot and tingly….

Shit . Not now, brain, okay?

He cleared his throat. “Did you use all those… things?” Paul had to ask.

Adam chuckled. “‘Things’? Yes, yes I did. I was proficient with floggers, whips, canes, crops: you name it, I played with it. I performed demonstrations, and I passed on my knowledge to those who wanted it. It was an important part of my life.”

Paul caught a quaver in Adam’s voice, a hint of some strong emotion, kept at bay. “Was?”

Adam sat up, his arms resting on his bent knees, hands dangling. “I’m not sure I can talk about it. It’s still feels too… raw.” He stared out to the bow, inhaling deeply.

“Then don’t,” Paul told him instantly. “Not if it hurts.”

Adam inclined his head toward Paul. “Perhaps I need to talk about it, though. Maybe that’s when I finally start to accept it’s a part of my life that’s over.”

Paul was upright in a flash. “Who says it has to be?”

There was Adam’s hand once more, stretching out, seeking Paul’s face.

Adam cupped his cheek. “Paul, I was a Dominant. That carried certain responsibilities. It meant that when I was doing a scene with a submissive, I was taking in everything. How he looked, the sounds he made. Watching for any sign that he was in difficulty. Watching his reactions, keeping tabs on what was going on in his body, his mind. Using the knowledge I gleaned from that to steer his responses, his endorphins. He had to trust me implicitly. There had to be a connection between us, communication…” He shook his head and pulled away.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to go on like that. ”

Paul bit back a sigh at the loss of that hand, that unexpectedly gentle touch.

“Don’t apologize.” He thought quickly how best to frame what was in his head.

“I’d like to think you can talk to me about anything.

I know we’ve had a few setbacks”—Adam snorted—“but that doesn’t mean we have to continue as before.

Yes, I cook your meals, wash your clothes, and hopefully soon type up your books, but I can also be an ear for you when you need one. ”

Adam remained silent for a moment, his head bowed. “Do you understand why I’m telling you this? How could I do all that when I couldn’t see? How can you be a Dom when you can’t fucking see ?”

Oh God.

There it was, the secret pain that was eating away at Adam’s insides. It tore at Paul’s heart to hear the anguish in his voice. He ached to reach out and touch him, a simple gesture to let Adam know he wasn’t alone, that Paul felt for him.

It was such an incongruous moment, lying in the sun, surrounded by the happiness of his friends, and hearing pain in Adam’s voice, sharp and raw. He struggled to find words, anything that would give Adam hope.

“I don’t believe it’s over,” he said at last. “Okay, I get using whips and chains might be a thing of the past, but that doesn’t mean you’re through as a Dom. It means you need to do what you’ve been doing ever since you lost your sight—you adapt. You find a way to explore that part of yourself.”

Come on, Adam, hear what I’m saying, yeah?

Adam turned to face him, Paul seeing himself reflected in those dark glasses. “There you go again, showing me why you deserve my respect.” He gave a half-smile. “I think you’re amazing, Paul Vaughan.”

Warmth suffused his face and a tingling sensation crept across the back of his neck.

Adam tilted his head. “Enough about me. How about you tell me why you think you have a kinky side, before your friends get back on this boat?”

Paul wasn’t stupid. Adam didn’t want to talk about it anymore, not that Paul could blame him. Of course, that meant it was his turn.

Breathe, breathe….

“About four months ago I was in London, having a night out in Soho on Brewers Street, going from gay bar to gay bar. It was okay, a bit boring perhaps. When I met someone I’d hooked up with a few months previously, he asked if I wanted to go with him to a club.

He hadn’t been there before, and he looked nervous about the prospect, to be honest, so I said yeah, why not?

” He swallowed. “Turns out it was a BDSM club.”

“Ah. Your first time?”

“Yeah.” His breathing quickened. “I’ve never told anyone about this.”

“That’s okay.” Adam shifted on his towel so he was closer. “You sure you want to talk about it?” His voice lowered.