Page 9 of Lady Farah Creates a Scandal (The Season of Secrets #2)

“He might not have before he was supposedly dead, but if he hasn’t returned to the woman you say he loved, then perhaps you’re wrong, and Courtney wasn’t as important to him as you believe.”

She wouldn’t believe that— couldn’t believe that.

Her friends were her guiding light when looking at who and when she would marry.

“There must be another reason he hasn’t come home, because I refuse to believe that of Lucien.

Did you not see them together? Or is it you can’t imagine the depth of their love? Have you ever been in love?”

He looked uncomfortable with her question. “No. I have never been in love.”

“Then perhaps he really is dead, because I cannot imagine him staying away from his fiancée.”

Rockwell’s mouth turned down. “I too have thought of nothing but that question on the journey to Ireland. Why has he not returned home? Is he really dead? Did I imagine seeing him when I was here last? But I have this feeling that he is alive. It won’t leave me.”

She could see how important this was to him. She reached out and covered his hand with hers. “If he’s alive, we’ll find him.”

Rockwell looked to where her hand covered his, and he dragged his hand away and took another drink.

He didn’t want to feel things for Farah.

She was not the type of woman who wouldn’t care that he left her behind time and time again.

He could only hurt her. There was something in him that drove him.

He had to know everything. He had to know about the world he lived in.

Why did bees make honey? Why did the winds blow from the east?

He wanted to see everything and experience all the world offered.

He would end up resenting a wife who made him stay in England.

A woman like Farah was looking for love and he couldn’t let her fall in love with him because he’d break her heart. He would never get over this wanderlust. And he’d already caused one woman’s death.

“Tomorrow, while I leave you at the dressmakers, I’ll visit the women of disrepute and see what I can learn. Perhaps he was faithful to begin with, but it’s been five long years. I don’t believe a man could go without—”

“Sex. He couldn’t go without sex.” She looked disappointed. Rockwell admired the naivety. She was purity herself. She wasn’t for a man like him, who took pleasure wherever he could, but never gave his heart.

“Men have needs, Farah. One day you’ll learn that sex—passion, desire, is perfectly acceptable without love.”

She shook her head. “Not for me,” she said softly.

“That’s because you don’t know what you’re missing.” And the idea of teaching her about desire and passion swept through him. He forcibly pushed the idea away. He sat staring at her silently. “I hope you meet this man of your dreams, a paragon of virtue, and get your happy ever after.”

She looked away and sighed. “I never said I wanted perfection. That is unattainable. I know that most people don’t marry for love. Men seem to avoid love for some reason. I want to be happy, that’s all. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Do you?”

He considered her as he would a painting.

Why hadn’t some man, other than Lord Franklin, stepped forward for consideration?

Well, one had. Conte Philippe Lambert. He didn’t really know the man, but obviously Blackstone hadn’t approved.

Was this the man she still pined over? Was he the reason why the idea of marrying Lord Franklin was not to be born?

If he recalled, Lambert had married another.

“Friendship and respect are a sound basis for any marriage. I think you are wise to want to wait for a man who can at least offer you that.”

“Perhaps I’d be better off remaining a spinster.”

He rose and moved round to take the chair next to her. “No. Desire and a shared passion are what make a marriage more—even without love.”

His fingers closed gently around her wrist and he turned her palm up and stroked his thumb over her skin. “You have no understanding of what you’ll be missing if you decide to remain a spinster. Passion between men and women can be quite remarkable.”

“Isn’t passion better when there is love?”

He shrugged. Lie. “ I wouldn’t know. I find pleasure with women and I am not in love with them. I wonder if you’ve ever been kissed?” At her smile, he added, “Kissed properly.”

Her smile dimmed, and her cute nose screwed up. “I assure you I have been kissed and properly.” She pulled her hand from his and folded her arms over her chest.

With a finger, he tilted her chin and looked into her eyes.

They were swimming with a mixture of bravado and question.

“Shall we see…” He pressed his mouth to hers, letting his lips dance over hers, and Rockwell felt Farah relax.

Her eyes drifted closed as he deepened the kiss.

He stroked her cheek with one finger. It was a misdirection as his tongue gained entrance and she stiffened for one moment before once more surrendering and letting her tongue tangle with his.

But soon it was Rockwell who was falling under her spell.

The taste of her was like ambrosia, and his tongue possessively stroked hers.

His hand cupped the back of her head as her shy participation created a yearning inside him that he’d never experienced before.

He should stop before he lost control, but the idea that Lambert had kissed her before him made Rockwell want to eviscerate the man’s memory from her mind.

It was the sound of Farah’s moan that saw him break off the kiss and rock back in his chair, stunned from the need to take her that coursed through his veins. All he could hear was her rapid panting. He watched in masculine satisfaction as her fingers feathered over her lips, as if in awe.

“Goodness. That was—goodness,” she murmured shakily, forcing a lightness to her tone.

Happy that he’d made his point, he stood.

“Marriage based on friendship but with desire and passion is not to be sniffed at. Love is a bonus, but not a necessity.” He needed her to understand this because when they returned to London, they would likely have to marry.

Perhaps she would not see a marriage to him as she did a marriage to Franklin—the end of her world.

“If you’ll excuse me, I shall retire for my bath.

Don’t stay up too late. We have a busy few days ahead. ”

Then he walked into his bedchamber, right next to hers, and images of Farah naked in a bath in the room next to his flooded his vision. He groaned out loud. Having her so close would be torture. But he owed her the chance to see if they could return from this voyage unscathed.