Page 18 of Lady Farah Creates a Scandal (The Season of Secrets #2)
She sighed and sat down while she penned a note to Orla. “You may have to stay away from me or you’ll be judged. My brother doesn’t let me socialize with Rockwell’s sister Ashley, as she has a scandal hanging over her head. I do anyway, when I can.”
“What did Lady Ashley do?”
She looked over her shoulder at Caitria. “I have no idea. She’s told none of us.”
“Us?”
“Say nothing to the men or Lucien, but my friends and I have formed a secret ladies’ club and we invest in shares via our friend, Lady Tiffany.
She’s married to Rockwell’s older brother, Lord Wolfarth.
We even have a secret anonymous investment challenge with some of the men, including my brother.
I can’t wait for the sisterhood, as we call our club, to beat them.
” She put the quill down and said, “I’ll introduce you to the club, and we can help you invest some of your pin money. ”
“Pin money?”
“Lucien will give you money each quarter to spend on things you want. We take some of that and invest it. I have already accumulated almost five thousand pounds.”
Caitria plonked down on the bed. “Five thousand pounds,” she said breathlessly. “That’s a fortune.”
“Well, enough to live in a little cottage somewhere if I’m ostracized.”
Caitria hesitated, then bravely asked, “Why wouldn’t you just marry Lord Ware? He seems a pleasant gentleman, and he’s very handsome. He must be rich to own a ship. Why won’t you marry him?”
She better get used to answering this question.
All the ladies would ask her, too. “Rockwell’s not husband material.
He’s known as an adventurer. He sails off around the world and is hardly ever in England.
I want more than that from a husband. I don’t want to be left behind, wondering what he’s doing, who he is with, and bringing up children on my own.
Not to mention, constantly worrying if he’ll ever return. ”
“You’re in love with him,” Caitria said softly. “Otherwise you wouldn’t care that he was gone.”
“Love?” She shook her head. “But I could be, and that would hurt me.”
Caitria nodded, and her eyes filled with tears. Farah sighed. “You’re in love with Lucien.”
“Yes, and I had hoped he might see me as a wife someday, after he got over Ava. He loved her a lot. I wonder if he’ll feel the same about her, now he knows Ava tricked him. Still, he’s Lord Furoe now, so my dream is over anyway.”
Farah didn’t dispute Caitria’s statement.
It was likely true. Besides, she hoped he would fall in love with Courtney again.
However, Lucien might choose someone else.
What a mess. “Perhaps there is another man out there for both of us. One that can give us his heart and love us the way we deserve to be loved.”
Her new friend lifted her head and gave a shaky smile. “But it’s hard to find room in your heart for another, isn’t it?”
Never a truer word had been spoken. That was why Farah didn’t want to lose her heart to Rockwell completely. “Let’s have dinner. Orla will probably arrive soon, and then we need some sleep. It’s going to be a nerve-wracking sail home.”
They rejoined the men in the private sitting room and Farah loved how well-behaved Ava-Marie was.
She was sitting, eating dinner with her father.
Rockwell and Lucien were deep in conversation about his adventurers on the high sea.
Rockwell was telling him about the trip he had taken to Brazil—one Lucien was supposed to accompany him on.
The ladies sat down to eat and it was only the arrival of Orla that broke up the happy party. Caitria took the two gowns and Ava-Marie with her to her room. Orla said she could make up a couple of dresses for Ava-Marie too, before they left in the morning. This made the little girl very excited.
Farah had asked Mrs. O’Donnell to bring up a bath and arranged one for Caitria and Ava-Marie. Rockwell might not come back before dawn, so he could arrange his own bath. She was about to stand when Lucien said, “I wonder if I may have a private word, Lady Farah.”
This was not what she wanted. She was tired from last night, the long carriage ride, and the stress of not understanding what Rockwell was feeling.
She wanted some alone time. But whatever she was feeling, Lucien must be feeling worse.
His world had been turned upside down and his memories were gone.
Rockwell also stood. “I’m just going to the Doreen to ensure we are ready to sail tomorrow.”
Farah found herself alone with Lucien. He rose and poured himself a drink from the sideboard. “May I get you anything?”
“A sherry would be welcome,” she almost sighed. “It’s been a tiring week.”
Lucien set her glass on the table, then returned to stare out the window.
He remained silent and the pity she felt for the man almost made tears well.
What a few days it had been for him. He’d found out he wasn’t who he thought he was.
A woman he loved had lied and told him she was his wife, which now meant his beloved daughter was illegitimate.
“I’m in quite the pickle, aren’t I,” he finally said as he turned to face her. At her frown, he continued. “I’m expected to help my family, a family I don’t remember, and yet I’m not sure I’ll remember how to act and behave. At least I think I’ll remember how to run an estate.”
“You’ll have an estate manager to help you too, and Rockwell and your other friends will also help.”
“That’s true. I actually improved the finances of our Irish family by introducing some changes. I wondered where I got those ideas from.” He took a seat across from her. “But Rockwell’s advice about marrying well and receiving a dowry to help my family is wise.”
Well, Courtney was sitting in London but… This wasn’t the man her friend fell in love with. What would happen when they met? “Perhaps it’s not wise to rush such a thing. You’ll be facing a lot as it is.”
“From your reaction today in the carriage, I take it a marriage with Lord Ware is not something you’d look favorably on?”
Where was this conversation going? “That’s rather personal.”
“It’s just that perhaps we could help each other.
If a scandal erupts, you could marry me.
” Her mouth dropped open, but he continued, “As the sister of a duke, I assume you have a large dowry, and it would be a way to ease myself back into society with the backing of a duke. Especially with Ava-Marie. I know you’d be kind to her.
You’re a good person.” He paused. “And you’re very beautiful. I think we could be quite content.”
“I know you’re scared—concerned—at what will happen when we return to London, but I really think you should wait, before proposing to a lady you’ve only just met.”
“You didn’t answer my question. Do you wish to marry Lord Ware?”
How could she answer that question without saying too much?
“Whom I wish or do not wish to marry is my concern and mine alone. I will deal with any potential scandal when I get home.” How, she wasn’t sure.
She hesitated, but she didn’t want to arrive in London and have Courtney believe she’d tried to steal Lucien.
Courtney was going to be upset as it was.
“If you wish to marry, you had a fiancée before you went to Ireland. She’s my friend, Lady Courtney Montague, daughter of the Marquess of Lorne. She loved you very much and still mourns you.”
He hung his head as if she’d just piled on more guilt and she hated herself for telling him, but if he was desperate enough to proposition a woman he’d just met, then he had to know.
“I can’t remember her. Would she accept Ava-Marie?
I won’t have her shunned or set aside.” He cursed under his breath.
“She would love your little girl because she is part of you.” Well, Farah would. But would she, if Rockwell came home from one of his many trips with a child from another woman, love that child? At least Lucien had a good excuse. Someone had tricked him into thinking Ava was his wife.
“She’s never married?” he asked.
“No. She said you were her grand love. I’m worried about how she’ll react to your return. So, I’ll not do anything to add to her pain.”
He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “Another person I’ll disappoint,” he said.
“No!” She reached across the table to take his hand. “Courtney won’t care that you’ve lost your memory, nor will your family. They will be so pleased you’re alive. It’s not every day someone you love comes back from the dead. Have a bit of faith in those who love you.”
“It’s hard to have faith in people I don’t know. But if they are anything like you and Lord Ware, I’ve been very lucky in my choice of friends.”
“You’ll see. Everything will be all right when you get home. There are many who will rally around you and protect you and your family. Don’t let stubborn male pride stop you from asking for the help you’ll need.”
“I think my pride fled when I found out my current life was a lie, that a woman had conned me.”
“I think a woman did something she had to do to survive. But from what I’ve learned, I think she loved you very much and you loved her. That wasn’t a lie. Was it?”
“Thank you. I will keep hold of that thought. I’m trying not to hate Ava. She nursed me back to health, and she gave me Ava-Marie, and I’ll always love her for that.”
“She’s a lovely little girl. I don’t think we need to tell anyone you weren’t married, do you? It serves no purpose.”
“Will Rockwell agree?”
“Of course. He loves you. You were his best friend. He was determined to find you, no matter what it cost. Rely on him if you need help.”
“I will. He’s already given me sound advice about my father.”
She hid a yawn behind her hand. “If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to retire. I’ve called for a bath. It’s been a long day and we have an even bigger few days ahead.”
Just then, the servants arrived with the tub and buckets of hot water.
As she walked toward her bedchamber, he added, “My offer stands, though. I realize I have nothing to offer you except my name. But if you find yourself in dire need, I would be honored to marry you.”