Page 33 of Lady Farah Creates a Scandal (The Season of Secrets #2)

The curtain rose on the second act, the tragic tale of love and loss unfolding on stage.

But in the Wolfarth box, Farah thought a very different kind of drama was playing out.

How was she to tell a man who was adrift in a world he couldn’t remember that she was not for him before he caused irreconcilable damage?

Farah settled back in her seat, acutely aware of Lucien’s presence behind her and Courtney’s fragile state. What could she do to bring the couple together? She would ask the rest of the women at the next shareholder meeting.

*

Rockwell hung back after the opera had finished and detained Lucien with him. He waited until the women were out of earshot, well down the stairs.

“What the hell are you doing?” Rockwell growled as he rounded on his so-called friend. “That was not well done tonight, with Courtney sitting there. You’re putting a friendship at risk.”

“Finally, a reaction. When are you going to realize that Lady Farah deserves more from you?” Lucien poked him in the chest with his finger.

“I may have lost my memory. I may have lived the past five years as an Irish peasant, but I know the rules of society. You took liberties with her in Ireland and seem to think you can walk away when it’s obvious the woman holds a tendre for you. Now who’s being cruel?”

“So, you’re saying your behavior tonight was to make me jealous?” Rockwell scoffed.

“It was, and it worked. You’re not angry at me coming between friends. You’re angry that I’m showing interest in Farah.”

“Well, your plan backfired, because you hurt Courtney. She doesn’t deserve that. And who is not being honest with whom? You have feelings for Farah. I can see it.”

Lucien hung his head and cursed. “It’s not that I have feelings for Farah exactly.

It’s just that my father has made it clear I should find a wealthy wife and quickly.

I like Lady Farah and she is kind and accepting of Ava-Marie.

I have little time, and I’m unsure of Courtney.

I can’t connect with her the way I have with Farah. ”

Rockwell paced the box, trying to get his jealousy under control because Lucien was right. He was jealous. And obviously selfish. He didn’t want to marry her, but he didn’t want her marrying anyone else either.

“You need to apologize to Courtney and explain what is going on. You need to be honest with her so she can decide whether she wants you back in her life.” He looked at Lucien.

“Don’t give her false hope. She’s been pining for five years.

If you think nothing will come of your relationship, set her free. ”

Lucien nodded. “You’re right. I’ve been putting off this conversation because I didn’t want to hurt her, but I’m hurting Courtney more by not being honest. Tell me. Do you think I can ever go back?”

Rockwell thought about the question for a moment. “But it’s not really going back because you can’t remember her.” He paused before asking, “What do you think of Courtney?”

Lucien shrugged. “I feel trapped. Everyone expects me to just resume my life as if nothing happened, but I can’t recall how it was.

Courtney looks at me with such expectations in her eyes and it kills me I can’t be the man she remembers, because I don’t know who that man is.

It’s draining and I…I resent her for it, even though it’s not her fault. ”

“Have you talked to her about how you feel?”

Lucien tossed his head back and laughed. “No. We are chaperoned every minute of our time together and she is so scared I’ll shatter if she says the wrong thing.”

“Will you? Shatter? You’ve been through a lot in such a short time.”

He slumped into a seat. “Perhaps.”

“Do you find her attractive?”

“Courtney?” He nodded. “Yes. She’s beautiful. But until you found me, I was in love with Ava. I’ve thought a lot about what Ava did to me, but I can’t find it in me to hate her. I understand her reasons, and I can’t simply turn my feelings off.”

Rockwell sat down next to him, relieved it wasn’t Farah Lucien loved. “What a mess. If Farah would just have let me offer for her…”

“Woo her then. Surely a man like you knows how to seduce a woman?”

“The thought had crossed my mind, but our feelings for each other don’t change the fact that we’re not suited. I want to explore the world and she wants the happy family at home. I can’t give her what she wants.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Does it matter?” Rockwell stared at his friend. “I’ll only end up hurting her either way.”

Lucien stood and rested his hand on Rockwell’s shoulder.

“Then perhaps you don’t love her. Because genuine love isn’t selfish.

That’s why I question Ava’s love. If she really loved me, she would have told me the truth.

Because you would do everything not to hurt those you truly love.

You put their needs before your own. Ava didn’t. ”

“Maybe she died before she got the courage to tell you.”

“Perhaps. But I sat with her for two days while she was dying of the infection ravaging her body and not once did she confess what she’d done. It’s hard to forgive that.”

“Still, I can understand how she might be scared to die with you hating her for what she’d done. I think she couldn’t bear that thought.”

“I hadn’t thought of it like that, but it’s likely. She also probably worried about Ava-Marie if I came back to my old life.”

Like the ghost of his old friend, Lucien left and walked down the stairs to join the rest of their party.

Rockwell ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. Did he love Farah? They’d only known each other in a grown-up sense about a month. Not enough time to fall in love, or was it?

He marveled at how his life had changed in a few short weeks—finding Lucien, almost creating a scandal with a stowaway on his ship, and then the unexpected desire that had flared between Farah, the timid mouse, and himself.

But then, he knew the moment he’d seen her in his Hessian boot in his bedchamber that she was all fire and heat under that quiet exterior she showed the world.

He’d wanted her from that moment on and a part of him knew he’d taken advantage of her on their travels. Because he wanted her. And God damn him to hell, he still wanted her.

But what ate him up inside was, did she still want him? What did he offer her?

I want my husband to love me. Those were the only stipulations she’d expressed in a husband to be.

If she loved him as she said, then perhaps she’d be content if he traveled.

As he walked slowly down the stairs, he cursed under his breath at why loving anyone, let alone only one woman, was the hardest thing for a man to do.