Page 39 of Knot Going Down (OlympicVerse #3)
AVA
W e were on our way back to the room when shouting pulled us up short. On the other side of the pool deck, our fake pack’s chaos erupted, and with it, every last shred of hope I had skittered overboard.
I want to cry. Scream. Collapse. But I lift my chin.
I won't crumble in front of these alphas. I'm Ava fucking Hawthorne.
Declan shoves Knox to the side and steps toward me, eyes narrowed. “You’re an omega?”
“Yep. Fresh out of the box. Ava 2.0.” I say, voice drenched with bitter sarcasm. I might be losing it.
“You’re an omega,” Declan repeats, taking a step back like the words are a loaded weapon. He looks almost scared. Well, welcome to the club.
“Yeah, omega.” I point to myself. “And I had a plan. It wasn’t perfect, but it was mine.”
“Ours,” Em cuts in quietly. The muted volume of her tone reminds me we’re in a public space.
I shoot her a look of gratitude before wheeling back on Declan, struggling to keep myself in check.
“I could go into heat any fucking second, and now, there’s nothing I can do about it.
” There’s a challenge to my words, an accusation I don’t try to hide.
My gaze drops to the edge of the ship where the pills vanished.
“All because you two couldn’t stop your dick measuring contest for one minute. ”
“Us?” Declan stiffens. “You think this is on us? You could have come to me. Instead of sending Sticky Fingers over here to steal from a law enforcement officer.”
“Yeah, and how would that have gone, exactly?” Chin high, I meet his gaze in challenge. “You’d just hand them over with a smile, Officer Drug Bust?”
“Of course not! We don’t even know if those pills are safe.”
“They’re safe,” Knox grumbles.
Declan cuts him a glare. “They’re illegal.
” He turns back to me. “But if you’d come to me, we could have worked out a plan.
Boundaries. Rules. Limits. Now, you could go into heat at any fucking moment and throw Knox and me into a rut we didn’t consent to!
” He’s practically yelling by the time he’s finished.
“Keep your voices down,” Lucas hisses at all of us.
“I’d never do that,” I snarl back at Declan.
“Then what was your plan, huh?” He’s right in my face, and thank God I’m still dripping with chlorine so he can’t scent me.
“Knox already agreed to help me as a backup.” I shove at Declan’s chest, but he doesn’t move.
“Right. So what were you gonna do? Kick me out of the room during the sex–pocalypse? Make me sleep on the pool deck for a few days?”
“What we were going to do,” I grit out the words, “was get those suppressants!”
“Well, they’re gone. Deal with it.”
“I have one,” Lucas offers.
“Me too,” Knox adds.
Declan and I don’t acknowledge them. We all know two pills won’t do fucking shit.
“We need to talk about what happens when you go into heat.”
When. Not if.
Fuck.
“No. We don’t. It doesn’t concern you.”
“Ava—” Lucas starts gently.
“You need an alpha,” Declan growls, like the words burn his tongue.
“Oh, is that what I need? You gonna give me the Alpha Handbook on Omega Care? Walk me through breathing techniques and boundary discussions. Please explain to me how it’ll feel to lose my ever-lovin’ mind.”
“Well, you’re going to want a knot more than?—”
“I wasn’t being serious, asshole!” I snap. “I don’t need you to mansplain my body to me. I’m living it! Not the heat—not yet anyway—but the fear? The scrambling? The constant need to outmaneuver biology just to keep my freedom. I know I’m gonna want knots. Hell, I want them now!”
“Not like you will when?—”
“Shut the fuck up, Declan!”
He clamps his mouth shut, lips tight. A low purr starts in his chest, a sound meant for soothing omegas.
“No. None of that!” I snap. He stops. “I don’t need you.” I take a step toward him, letting the storm inside me rage. “I don’t need any of you. Here’s the new plan. If I go into heat on the ship, I lock myself on the balcony and deal with it alone.”
“I thought you agreed I could help you,” Knox says in a voice too quiet for the gruff man. There’s something fractured in his eyes that almost cracks me, too.
“That was before you decided to be the hero and ended up costing me everything. Anyone with a brain could’ve told you Emily had a better chance of getting those pills.”
“I just wanted to help.” Knox’s shoulders sag, the guilt written all over him.
A look passes between Declan and Emily, but there isn’t enough fight in me to care if they implode, too. Not right now anyway. I’ll cry about it later.
My anger falters, and exhaustion replaces it. “I know. But it doesn’t change my decision.”
Declan opens his mouth. Closes it. Looks away.
I shoot him a glare. “My decision,” I remind him.
With that, I turn on my heel and walk away.
I’ve faced enough alone. I can survive this, too.