Page 28 of Knot Enough

TWENTY-SEVEN

A suffocating weight settled on my chest. I hadn’t been able to stop pacing since they’d walked out. Slowly, the sun lowered until it hung in the middle of the sky, causing it to shine inside the bedroom. I heard them loud and clear, but all I could focus on was my erratic breathing.

Tears trickled from the corner of my eyes and refused to fucking go away. The emotion hadn’t taken over until they left. A good thing, since I doubted they would have left me alone otherwise.

On one hand, elation threatened to swallow me whole, but on the other . . . I couldn’t forget what they’d done to me. They’d made me feel like less than trash. This nastiness in my chest wouldn’t relent.

I scrubbed my palms over my face.

The deep rumble of their voices echoed from downstairs.

Sneaking out of the room, I headed towards the stairs.

Once I’d crept close to the banister, I peeked over it.

None of their words were clear to make out, other than the vibration of their conversation.

The intonation verged on sounding argumentative.

Axe’s familiar voice echoed, and I stiffened, but then he continued arguing. He never sounded angry with me, so hearing him direct it at the others was off-putting.

If I had to stay here another minute, I’d go mad.

I needed out—now. I rushed to the window in the bedroom and looked down.

A tingle infested my toes from the height.

The bedroom was located at the backside of the house and faced the woods.

I eyed the grass and the steep drop. Oh God, that would hurt, but if I managed to aim right for the bushes closer to the house, they would break my fall .

. . I peeked over my shoulder. They’d left me in here, expecting me to just sit pretty.

I scrubbed my hands down my arms in irritation.

No! Enough was enough. I needed space to breathe.

Fuck it. I shoved the window open. The cool breeze fluttered my hair around my shoulders.

Taking hold of the ledge of the window, I tossed my leg over to straddle the sill. I leaned and my stomach dropped to my toes again. I could do this. I breathed out slowly and tossed my other leg over. My best bet was landing on my butt to cushion my fall.

I flexed my hands on the sill, I got a better hold, and in the same motion, pushed off with a twist of my torso. A gasp slipped free, but I managed to suck a breath in to cut my scream off. I dangled, the ledge of the sill digging into my hand. I did not think this through.

Heaving in a breath, I let go and my stomach pitched.

I sank my teeth into my lip to keep my scream inside.

My ass landed with a hard thump and the crunch and rustle of the bush.

Bits of it snapped under me. It took a moment for the numbness to be overpowered by the throb that worked down my legs.

I pitched forward, curling over my knees with a whimper.

That hurt so much. Fuck! But I couldn’t just stay here in pain.

The bush crunched with my movement, the smushed plant still having a little bounce.

A broken piece of it sliced my ankle and I hissed, cringing from the pain, and rolled off the bush. I rubbed my ass.

The fall was much higher than it looked from down here. I gingerly stepped forward. A throb worked all the way down to my toes. I was definitely going to be bruised, but at least I didn’t break anything. With a quick scan of the area, I started walking away from the house.

I should have grabbed a pair of shoes. I peeked over my shoulder.

If I went back now, they’d never let me out of their sight; I’d have to suck it up.

Quickening my stride, I hurried through the break in the trees; fortunately, there were patches of grass, enough that it protected the soles of my feet.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I continued trekking through the sparsely filled woods.

None of what had happened to me was fair. I scoffed. None of my life had been fair. I hugged myself tighter and sighed.

An engine roared and the sounds of civilization became heightened.

I continued on my path, weaving through the maze of trees.

Finally, I pushed through the break and stepped onto a cement pathway.

It gave my feet a bit of a rest, so I continued forward.

The path turned abruptly, and I stepped out onto the sidewalk . . . a little shopping area?

The straight-through street was framed on both sides with different establishments.

Padding over the warm cement, I gawked at the cute little center.

It was pretty busy with people strolling down the sidewalks.

I avoided smacking into a couple so invested in looking at each other that they didn’t see me.

A sweet scent invaded my nose, and like a dog, I sniffed and followed the smell a few stores down. I stopped and eyed the cake shop, mouth watering. Some cake sounded fire right now. Displayed in the window was a chocolate bundt cake with creamy glazing on top.

The hair on the back of my neck stood, and my shoulders hiked. It felt like someone was staring at me.

I scratched the back of my neck and casually looked over my shoulder, but there was no one.

I frowned and continued on my path. My attention snagged on a little kid.

His gaze was fixed on my feet. His mom followed his attention, and her eyebrows rose at my lack of shoes. Concern flashed across her features.

I needed to get away before the questions came. I hurried down the next little alleyway leading to the back of the buildings, hoping and praying it wasn’t a dead end. Score! The alley spat me out back into nature. I smacked at a branch before I knocked into it.

And I kept walking . . . and walking. The excursion pushed my body, forcing me to focus only on the burn of my muscles.

I wasn’t sure how long I walked along the grassy knoll, hiking over valleys and hills of the vast landscape.

Eventually, a bench came within view, and I beelined toward it.

The wood creaked under my ass. Resting my hands at my sides, my fingers grazed across a divot.

The letters L & G were carved into the wood with a heart around them.

The obvious sight of affection warmed my gut.

That was all I wanted—to be seen and loved.

Why had they hurt me so much?

I tipped my head back, letting the drooping sunlight warm my cheek.

The hair on the back of my neck rose, and a shiver coasted down my back. I rub my arms. It was going to be a chilly night then.

The final rays of the sunlight disappeared, allowing the stars to shine their brilliance. I tipped my head back. There was something so magical about the sky. I focused on my breathing, admiring the beauty.

A bright shooting star crested across the darkness, and I perked up, following the brilliance with bated breath.

I clasped my hands together, squeezing my eyes tightly shut.

Please, all I want is for Rath and Kane to accept me. For all of them to love me, please .

A tear trickled out of the corner of my eyes. I couldn’t be somewhere I wasn’t wanted. I’d lived too much of my life that way already…

Emotion built in my throat. The hurt bubbled and overflowed as a sob exploded free. I clasped my hand over my mouth to cut myself off, but it was no use. I sat there, crying my eyes out.

Pathetic . . . alone.