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Maitland’s expression softened. “You are too kind to me,” she said. “I am not sure what I ever did to deserve such devotion.”

“I wish I could give you more.” The words slipped out before Thomas could stop them and, abruptly, he hung his head, hissing at his lack of control.

“I am sorry, Mae. I did not mean… God’s Bones, I did mean it.

I meant every word. I am not a liar and I cannot lie to you and tell you that I did not mean what I said. Forgive me.”

He was rambling a bit, something that was rather endearing. Maitland smiled at the big, nervous knight. “For what?” she said. “For saying the words? Or for meaning them?”

“Both. But I will not take it back.”

She nodded faintly, a gesture of understanding. “I did not ask you to,” she said quietly. “My brother tells me that you and Adelaide will be married very soon now that her father is dead.”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “Did you say that just to rub it in my face?” he asked, annoyed and off-balance. “I know what has to happen, but believe me, there is no joy in it. There never has been and there never will be. I just… I just do not want you to hate me for it.”

“Why would I hate you for it?”

He was starting to say too much, heading down that slippery slope that would have him spilling out all manner of feelings and he would be unable to stop. Shaking his head, he turned for the tower.

“Come along,” he said. “Show me the tower now. Des says that the carpenters have repaired everything.”

Maitland scurried after him, but not because she wanted to show him the keep.

She ran up behind him and grasped his hand, pulling him to a halt.

But then, she began pulling him over towards an enormous yew tree that was growing big and wild near the wall, which was terrible for the defenses.

Anyone could easily climb onto the wall and then hang on the branches to descend into the yard.

But Thomas wasn’t looking at the bad positioning of the tree.

He was looking at Maitland, feeling her soft hand around his callused one as she pulled him over to the wall where there were some big rocks, as the landscape itself was quite rocky and most of the yard was rocky as well.

It was quiet here, away from everything, and she pushed Thomas down onto one of the rocks and faced him.

“Now,” she said. “You and I must have a serious discussion, Thomas. I am a forthright woman and I do not like the games that men and women play, so if you think to play a game with me and feed me tantalizing words as you just did, know that I will not stand for it.”

Thomas looked up at her, feeling as if he were about to be scolded and knowing he deserved it. “Aye, my lady.”

Maitland was firm. “I told you that I am nothing more than a passing fancy and I further told you not to tempt me because it is not fair. Do you recall that conversation?”

He nodded, dejected. “Aye, my lady.”

“Then why do you continue to make comments like the one you just made?”

“Because I cannot help myself, my lady.”

She sighed sharply. “You are only making this harder for us both, and if taking your money means I must continue to take your leading comments, then I will refuse your money. I am quite serious, Thomas. I shall find another patron who will not say such things to me.”

Thomas hung his head. She was such a fine, upstanding woman and he was scum. There was nothing about him that was worthy of her. Heavily, he exhaled.

“May I say something, my lady?”

“I wish you would.”

His head came up, his gaze fixed on her.

“You are not a passing fancy,” he said. “A week ago, I met the most remarkable woman I have ever met and I cannot forget her no matter how I try. Do you know why I stayed away for an entire week? Because I was trying to put you from my mind. I am about to enter into a marriage that will be loveless and contentious. That will be the rest of my life, Mae, but that has nothing to do with my feelings for you. A bitter bride is not causing me to seek comfort elsewhere. If there was no Adelaide, I would still feel this way about you. I will feel this way about you until I die.”

Maitland was so very touched by his words.

She knew his betrothal to Adelaide was loveless.

She knew it was arranged. When she closed her eyes at night, she could see Thomas’ handsome face and powerful body, and it was almost more than she could bear.

He was attracted to her, and she to him, and if they were to let it run wild, there was no telling where it would go.

But she also knew that she couldn’t– nay, wouldn’t – carry on with a married man.

Even if that man was Thomas.

But the truth was that she had spent her married life in a loveless marriage of her own.

She had always craved for a man to care for her; since she had been a child, with a father who disdained her, she’d always yearned for a man’s affection and attention.

There was a very large part of her that wanted to give in to whatever relationship Thomas wanted to conduct, yet the rational part of her– the part that knew such a thing would only come to a terrible end– refused to let her give in to the woman who needed love so much.

It was a terrible tempest inside of her, mirroring the one inside of Thomas, only she was better at concealing it.

With a resigned sigh, she went to sit on the rock next to him.

“You have been honest with me, so I suppose I should be honest with you,” she said after a moment. “I told you once that if you had pursued me, I would have let you catch me. That is still true. But I would not do it simply to fulfil your whim. But if you were sincere in your pursuit…”

He cut her off. “I would have been. I swear to you that I would have been.”

She looked at him. “Then the proudest moment in my life would have been to bear the title Lady de Wolfe.”

Thomas looked at her. They were just a few inches apart, but close enough that he could feel the heat coming off of her body.

He’d never felt such emotion, such horrific sorrow paralleled by wild joy.

It began to occur to him that what he’d felt for Tacey hadn’t come close to what he was starting to feel for Maitland, at least not in the beginning.

What he’d felt for Tacey had grown gradually, a sweet affection like the warmth of a mild summer’s day.

What he felt for Maitland was starting to feel like he was walking on the surface of the sun.

It could easily consume him.

Thomas couldn’t describe it better than that. And in that moment, he knew what he felt for her and what he would always feel for her. He realized that whatever attraction and infatuation he had for her had run away from him until it was something he could no longer control.

He knew .

“I cannot give you my name,” he said hoarsely. “But I can give you something else.”

“What?”

“My heart.”

Maitland’s eyes widened and she gasped, leaning away from him, but she didn’t get up off the rock. She continued to sit there, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Do not tell me that,” she breathed.

“Why not?”

“Because… because it is simply not fair.”

“To whom? Me or you?”

“Both of us,” she said, the shock in her expression replaced by pain. “Don’t you know that I would take your heart and never give it back, Thomas? Don’t you know that I would keep it forever?”

Thomas could see, in that statement, that she was feeling as much angst and pain as he was. He had to tear his gaze away from her or risk reaching out for her.

“So what do we do?” he asked. “And do not tell me to go away, because I will not. And do not tell me to forget about you, because I cannot. Even if I never touch you, Mae, I want to come here to visit you, to hear you laugh and see you smile. Don’t you know what joy I feel when I see how happy you are now?

How happy a little money and a few goats have made you?

Please do not take that away from me. Do not take away the only true happiness I may ever know. ”

“I won’t,” she murmured. “I could not take that away from myself. I do not know what we are to do, Thomas. Mayhap simply speaking about what we feel will suffice for now. Mayhap it will be a test of willpower, to see if our pretty words are stronger than what is in our hearts. Have you punched Des in the face yet for not having introduced us sooner?”

Thomas broke down into soft laughter at the unexpected humor. “I have not,” he said. “But he and I have had a discussion about you. He told me to stay away from you.”

“Will you listen to him?”

He looked at her, shaking his head slowly. When he spoke, it was simply to mouth the word.

“Nay.”

No sound came out, but Maitland didn’t have to hear the word to know what he’d said.

It was like a dagger through her heart but, in the same breath, it was everything she wanted to hear.

She could feel the beauty of his feelings, no longer truly concerned that they were simply a whim.

She could feel the truth of his words in the purest sense, and she believed him implicitly.

It was at that moment she realized that she was denying herself something that every woman wants– the adoration and attention of a man.

She’d never had it for herself and, damnation, she wanted it.

The strong stance she was taking against him was starting to crumble.

It was already gone.

Lowering her gaze, she stood up and held out her hand to him. “You wanted to see the tower?” she said. “Let me show you.”

She was changing the subject, which was probably wise.

Thomas couldn’t say much about it other than to simply follow her.

In truth, he was feeling depressed and lost, having finally found a woman he could feel something for and unable to act upon it.

He had no idea how he was going to navigate the situation and not have his guts ripped out every time he saw her.

He wondered if, in the years to come, he’d simply become accustomed to the pain.