Page 19

She smiled. “You need not explain yourself,” she said. “You are a very busy man. I realize that.”

He shrugged. “Busy enough,” he said, looking around and noting the remains of the meal on the table. “You’ve eaten, I see?”

Delaina looked at the crumbs and empty bowls. “Aye,” she said. “But earlier today. I’ve not eaten since. Are you hungry? Shall I send for food?”

“I’ll do it,” he said, going to the door and unlocking it before calling out to a servant somewhere down the corridor. Satisfied his wishes had been adequately relayed, he shut the door again and turned to her. “I’ve not eaten today, so I will share a meal with you, if you don’t mind.”

Delaina went to the table and began piling the dirty cups and bowls together. “Not at all,” she said. “I am happy for the company.”

“Good,” he said, going over to the table and sitting in one of the chairs, backward, so he was leaning forward on the back of the chair. “Did you sleep well? I cannot imagine this place was at all quiet.”

She grinned. “I have learned many new curse words listening to the shouting in the common room,” she said. “I am certain those will serve me well in my new life.”

He fought off a smile. “Particularly if you go to the cloister.”

“Undoubtedly.”

She looked at him and snorted, which caused him to chuckle. They laughed at each other for a few moments in a surprisingly warm moment while she tucked all of the used dishes aside.

“I will admit that the nuns more than likely will not appreciate those new words,” he said. “Mayhap it is best if you do not go to the cloister.”

“Agreed.”

“Have you decided what to do, then?”

Her smile faded as she sat down in a chair opposite him. “I think so,” she said. “I have been thinking about it quite a lot today, and I’ve come to a conclusion.”

“What’s that?”

“That I do not want to leave England,” she said. “It is my home, after all. I do not want to leave it, not even for a new life in France.”

He nodded. “Understandable. What will you do?”

She cocked her head thoughtfully. “Well,” she said slowly, “I thought a great deal about what you said, how a woman cannot simply live on her own and earn her own way. But I know that’s not entirely true.

There are women who have taken over for their husbands when they have died, with their trades. ”

Magnus nodded. “That is true,” he said. “Women have become tavernkeeps and blacksmiths and the like when their husbands have passed on. But you do not have a husband who can pass on his trade.”

“I know,” she said quickly. “But I was wondering… hoping, actually… if I were to give you the money, would you be willing to purchase land for me? Mayhap you know of some lord who would like to sell a small portion of his land with a home upon it. A cottage would do. I could simply tell everyone that I am a widow and I could turn the land into a farm.”

His eyebrows lifted. “Do you know about farming?”

She nodded. “I learned much living with my grandparents when I was young,” she said.

“And I learned much when I fostered at Okehampton. I learned to milk cows and goats. I learned how to make cheese. Magnus, truly, I am not a useless woman. I know how to do a great many things, but I have no one to ask to help me. You have helped me so much so far, and I thought I would ask if you would consider helping me in this way?”

He scratched his head. “Of course I would be willing, but where do you wish to make this purchase?” he said. “If you do not wish to be discovered, it would have to be someplace remote.”

“Like in the north? Where your family lives?”

Now he was onto her. “You mean that you wish for me to ask my father if he will sell you some land?” he said, watching her nod.

It was a big request, and he puffed his cheeks out when he realized what she wanted.

“I do not know, Delaina. My father is the Earl of Berwick, but those lands are treacherous. I do not want you buying land where the Scots could raid and take everything from you.”

“I see,” she said, the excitement on her face fading quickly. “I know it is much to ask, Magnus. You are free to decline my request. I will not be offended.”

He shook his head. “It is not that,” he said. “It is simply that I would ask my uncle, the Earl of Warenton, rather than my father. All of his lands are so volatile, but my uncle Scott has lands that are more peaceful to the south. However, I am fairly certain he would not sell to a woman.”

“Why not?”

“Because a lone woman in the north would be foolish to live by herself.”

Her shoulders slumped further. “Very well,” she said glumly. “I understand. If that is not possible, then there is only one thing I can do.”

“The cloister?”

She smiled weakly. “Nay,” she said. “Mayhap I will return to Margit. She established a business, and when I went to her for training, she taught me a great deal. Mayhap she would have some ideas on what I could do.”

The warm expression from his face vanished. “You would return to her brothel?” he said, sounding irritated. “Would you truly do something like that?”

She had no idea why he was so annoyed. “I cannot stay here forever,” she said.

“I know that returning to her is not ideal, but as we have realized, I have very few options on where I can go. I do not have many choices for my life in general. Mayhap someone—she has many patrons who are rich—would offer me… something.”

His jaw was twitching. “What something ?”

She refused to look at him. “Marriage, I suppose,” she said quietly.

“I know I said that I was too old, but mayhap they would not expect too much from me. Truly, Magnus, what other choice do I have? I wanted my freedom, but the truth is that I cannot simply be free. As you have said, a woman without support is simply not done.”

He was still sitting there, grinding his jaw, looking at her most unhappily. “So you would return to a brothel,” he said, sounding disgusted. “I thought you did not want to belong to another man ever again.”

“If he was my husband, it would be different.”

“You do not want to be married to anyone who visits Margit’s brothel, Delaina.”

She sighed sharply and stood up. “Of course I do not,” she hissed.

“But what else is there for me? I have had the entire night to think on this, and I must face facts. I am a damaged woman. I have let men touch me and I have taken money and jewels and horses and property for it. A courtesan is a polite word for whore, so let us speak plainly. I know what I am and you do, also, so do not act as if I have better choices, for I do not. I have very little choice in any of this, and you know it.”

He did, but he hated to admit it. In fact, Magnus was having a very difficult time with the conversation for reasons he couldn’t fully understand.

All he knew was that Delaina was a woman among women, so beautiful and bright that she outshone the sun.

Even as he sat there and looked at her, all he could see was grace and magnificence, an elegant woman who found herself in a horrible situation.

As he’d known from the beginning, she didn’t deserve any of this.

He couldn’t stand the thought of her going back to a brothel.

He couldn’t stand the thought of another man touching her.

God, he was in trouble.

So much trouble…

“Delaina,” he said softly. “I want to propose something, and I want you to listen carefully before you respond. Will you do this?”

She had her back to him, her messy braid trailing to her buttocks. But she nodded, once, and he continued. God help him, he couldn’t stop himself, and he had no idea why not.

Something shocking was about to come forth.

“You do have another choice,” he said. “You have me.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment. But after several long seconds, her head lifted and she looked at him.

“What do you mean?” she said.

He took a deep breath. “I mean that you can marry me,” he said. “Marry me and I’ll send you north to live with my father and mother until I can come for you. That will keep you safe.”

Her eyes widened in shock. “What on earth are you saying?”

“I am saying that I will marry you, if you will have me.”

That only caused her eyes to widen even more. They very nearly popped from her skull. “Nay,” she breathed. “You do not mean it.”

“I do.”

That was evidently not the answer she wanted. She practically screamed at him. “ Nay! ” she said. “Magnus de Wolfe, leave this chamber this instant. Do you hear me? Get out!”

He frowned, but he didn’t move. “Why should I leave?” he said. “What is wrong with you?”

Delaina burst into tears. “Get out,” she sobbed. “I will not let you ruin your life by marrying me, you silly fool. You are offering out of pity, and I’ll not let you do it. Get out of here and never come back!”

“Delaina—”

“Stop it!” she said, nearly hysterical. “What is the matter with you that you would offer for the hand of a whore? How dare you attempt to ruin yourself in that way! You are the lord commander of the king’s knights, and you deserve a fine wife from a fine family, not a concubine who has been passed around by old and disgusting warlords. Get out and do not return!”

She was serious. Magnus could see that. As he stood up, she grasped the knife that was on the table and wielded it at him in a threatening manner. Magnus eyed the knife, unmoved.

“Put that down before you hurt yourself,” he said, scowling. “And I am not ruining my life. No one has to know who you are but me. If you are willing to leave your past behind, so am I.”

Delaine was still weeping heavily. “I cannot leave my past behind,” she said quietly. “It is part of me, and I can never leave it behind. We do not live in a pretend world where such things are possible, Magnus.”

“We do if I say we do.”

She wiped at her wet face. “It is not possible,” she said. “I cannot let you do this to yourself, Magnus. You are a darling for offering and I shall never forget your kindness, but I cannot let you do it. Please go now. Please .”

“I won’t.”