Page 67

She flushed, a pretty pink coming to her cheeks, as she returned her attention to his shoulder. This time, Thomas didn’t turn his head around. He kept his gaze on her.

“Tell me something, Mae,” he said softly.

She could feel his breath on her face, causing her heart to thump madly against her rib cage. “What shall I tell you?”

“Why would a woman like you commit yourself to a life of piety?”

Her gaze flicked up to him. “What do you mean?”

Thomas lifted his eyebrows. “I mean that you are lovely and intelligent,” he said. “You would be a wife a man would be proud to have. Why must you waste all of this glory on the church?”

The flush in her cheeks deepened, flattered by his words even though she probably shouldn’t be. They bordered on insulting, but she didn’t care. It was still the nicest thing anyone had ever said to her.

“Lady Adelaide asked me that at supper,” she said, picking the last of the debris from his wound.

“You were with your little sister hunting puppies, so I will tell you what I told her. Any husband of merit would require a wife with a fortune, and I have none. My father had no money and neither did my husband, so I had little choice but to seek a life of service with the church.”

Thomas watched her as she spoke, seeing that it was upsetting for her to tell him the truth.

Hell, he was upset hearing it. It simply wasn’t right that this magnificent woman should be handicapped by her circumstances when someone like Adelaide had the world laid out before her purely because of her wealth and breeding.

“A decent man worth his salt would not look for a woman of fortune,” he murmured.

“Any decent man, a man you should want to be married to, would simply look for a woman of brilliance and character and accomplishments. I think you did not give yourself enough time to find such a man before you decided on serving the church.”

Maitland sighed faintly as she set the tweezers aside and picked up the rag soaked in the warm wine and water mixture. “I had little choice,” she repeated. “My father did not want me to come home and I had nowhere to go, so the church was my only option.”

“I wish I’d known.”

She looked at him curiously. “Why?”

His eyes glimmered at her as he threw a thumb in the general direction of the keep. “Because I would have married you two years ago when your husband was killed and that misfit in my keep would have never happened.”

Maitland stared at him a moment as his words sank in. Then, her eyes widened. “You would have married me?” she gasped. “But… why should you even want to? You are a de Wolfe and you can command the greatest bride in all of England. What on earth would you have wanted with a destitute widow?”

He grinned, the big teeth flashing. “You would have made a very fine Lady de Wolfe,” he said. “I am rather perturbed to have lost you to the church. They do not deserve you. Mayhap I do not, either, but at least I could have offered you more than they could.”

Maitland stared at him a moment longer and he swore he saw the pink in her cheeks go pale.

She lowered her gaze and rinsed his wound one more time with the wet rag, dabbing at it to ensure there was no more debris.

She didn’t reply to his statement right away but he knew she was thinking on it.

Her hands had started to quiver. Something inside of her was stirring as the result of what he’d said, and she seemed either nervous or agitated, but he couldn’t tell which. Concerned, he spoke softly.

“Did I upset you?” he muttered. “I did not mean to. Forgive me. I should not have said what I did.”

Maitland shook her head, picking up her needle and strong silk thread that Lady de Wolfe had provided.

“I am not upset,” she lied. “You simply do not understand my situation. It is so easy for you, not having known poverty or unhappiness, to assume I could have simply found another man who would have married a penniless widow. But I assure you, it is not that simple. Not in the least.”

Her hands were still quivering as she lifted them to suture his wound, but he reached out and grasped her hand, stopping her. When she looked at him curiously, his expression was both gentle and kind.

“I have upset you,” he whispered. “And I am very sorry. I was simply… I have known unhappiness, Mae. The woman I loved perished eight years ago in childbirth, and the life I have led since then has not eased that sorrow. My mother always told me that the right woman would bring me happiness again, but I never believed her until…”

“Until what ?”

He squeezed her hand, gently. “Until I met you,” he murmured.

“Oh, I know it is foolish. I do not even know you, yet I am telling you I would have married you two years ago. It is foolish of me, and far too bold, but I was simply lamenting the misfortune not to have met you before that she-devil came into my life. Truth be told, I think my mother was right. I think you would have made me forget my grief. I would like to think so. I would like to think we could have built a good, stable life together. Had I known you after your husband perished, I would have pursued you and I am very sorry I did not know you then. But I am glad to have met you now.”

With that, he kissed her hand and gently released it, leaving Maitland looking at him with an expression of complete and utter disappointment on her face.

His words were like a dagger to her heart.

Perhaps she shouldn’t have believed him.

Perhaps it was his exhaustion speaking, his emotions running high after a battle.

But she swore that she had never heard more sincere words in her life.

Perhaps she believed them only because they were words she had dreamed of hearing.

Feeling elated and devastated at the same time, she returned her focus to his wound. “I am very sorry for your loss,” she said. “Your lady must have been very grand, indeed.”

“She was. You remind me of her in many ways; both caring and compassionate souls.”

Maitland smiled faintly. “That is a very nice thing to say,” she said. Then, she lowered her voice, for his ears only. “And you would not have had to pursue me. I would have let you catch me.”

Thomas was facing forward at that point, breaking out into a massive grin and laughing softly, his head leaning back against the wall as she put the first of several quick stitches into his shoulder.

“You are a treasure, my lady,” he said softly. “And I fear you may be my biggest regret. In fact, when I see Des next, I am going to punch him in the face for not having introduced us sooner.”

“I will hold him for you.”

Thomas continued laughing, even as she put stitch after careful stitch in his shoulder. He turned his head slightly, able to see the top of her head as she bent over him. “Are you truly going to leave me today to go to Edenside?”

“I must, my lord.”

“You will call me Thomas. Or Tommy. Call me what you wish, Mae. I shall answer.”

Maitland slowed her stitches, realizing that when she was done, their conversation would be over. It had been the most meaningful conversation of her life.

“I must go, Thomas,” she murmured. “I am expected.”

He sighed heavily. “I know,” he said. “May I come and visit you, then?”

“For what purpose?”

“To see you, of course.”

“As my friend?” she asked. “As my patron? Because those are the only capacities in which you can visit. Anything else would not be… proper. You are a betrothed man.”

It was a stark reminder of the situation and Thomas was coming to see that she was much more level-headed than he was. He was impulsive, she wasn’t. In truth, he wasn’t surprised. She was a woman of character. He felt rather foolish for what he had said to her, but he wasn’t sorry about it.

Not in the least.

“I wish that I was not,” he mumbled. “I wish more than anything that I was not, but you are correct. It would not be proper. May I explain something to you?”

“Of course.”

He thought carefully of what he wanted to say to her.

It might be the only chance he ever had to explain the reality of the situation.

“My father made this arrangement,” he said quietly.

“It was not of my doing. He thought he was doing what was best for me at the time, but it has since turned into a nightmare. Northumbria misrepresented his daughter, or at the very least, omitted the fact that she was… well, I suppose it does not matter. The fact remains that this is an unpleasant situation for us all, as you have guessed. But I want to make it clear to you that I am not a man of fickle loyalties. I do not treat contracts, women, or marriages with such disregard. But this is an unusual situation, and an unhappy one. I do not want you to think I am not a man of my word.”

She glanced up at him. “I do not think that. I never have.”

“That is good.” He paused a moment before continuing. “Therefore, if you are agreeable, I will come to see you as both your friend and your patron. I should like to see this charity and all of the wonderful things you are going to do for it.”

“Then you are welcome to visit.”

“Thank you,” he said sincerely, pleased that she hadn’t denied him.

“And this brings about another point. The battle tonight; it was border reivers, outlaws who have no loyalty to anyone but themselves. For safety’s sake, Des and I will escort you to Edenside. I would feel better if you allowed it.”

She looked up from the last of her stitching. “Do you believe it is necessary?” she asked. “Surely they would not attack women of the church.”

He lifted his eyebrows. “They have been known to attack churches,” he said. “Do not believe for one minute that they would grant you a reprieve. Even though you carry nothing of value, still, it would be a horrific experience for you. Please, let me escort you. It would make me feel better.”