Page 96 of Kneeling for Them

“I can’t do this,” I say.

“Sebastian, I’m sorry,” she begins.

“If you were really sorry, you wouldn’t look into this matter at all.”

“No,” she says.“You fear the truth to the point where you’re ready to broadcast a lie to the public.You’d rather just take your lying agent’s words at face value rather than see what might have really happened.”

“Yeah,” I say, “because what if it’sworse?You’re going to fuck around and find out.”

“It won’t be worse,” she says.

I can’t fucking take this anymore.Slowly, so Ella has plenty of opportunity to get away from me, I cup her face in my hands.I kiss her mouth, lingering on her soft, plump lips.

“I’m not running away from you,” I say as I pull back.“But I’m giving myself some space to calm down, okay?”

She nods.In a miserable voice, she says, “I didn’t want to upset you.”

“Then you should’ve left it all alone.”

I turn around and leave the room, my heart pounding out a rhythm of heartache with every step.

Ella

Well, that could’ve gone better.Shit.I stare at the door for a long moment after Sebastian takes off.I knew he wouldn’t like the idea I was looking into this, but I also can’t leave it alone.His past is hurting him because he won’t truly face it.

I don’t know.Maybe I’m the asshole.Maybe I should butt out.

But I love him.Is that not a good enough excuse?

Feeling conflicted as fuck, I gather my things and leave the practice room.I have a couple of hours before I’m supposed to be at the pub.When I look at my phone, I see a missed call from Lin, Sebastian’s cousin.

I call her back immediately.

“Hey,” she says, “are you downtown by any chance?I have the info you wanted.”

“Already?”My heart pounds faster with a thrill of excitement and nerves.

“Yep.I can bring it by during my lunch break, if you’re close.”

“I’m at the university, so I could meet you somewhere,” I say.

“There’s a cafe near the Cassiopeia building,” she says.“Meet me there?”

“Sure.I can be there in ten—does that work?”

“Yep.”

I have to haul ass to make it all the way across campus in ten minutes.The university isn’t huge as far as student population, but it’s sprawling.I’m sweating by the time I pass the Cassiopeia building…but maybe that’s also from nerves.What is Lin going to tell me?

A brown-haired woman stands outside the cafe and says, “Hey, Ella!”

Her hair is undercut on one side, and she has a beauty mark at the corner of her mouth.Her clothing is casual—jeans and a button-up top.After taking long strides to reach me, she holds out a hand.“Hey, I’m Lin, Sebastian’s cousin.”

“Nice to meet you,” I say.

“Same.How’s your brother?”

“Um…I’m taking a break from him after what he pulled.But I’m still super grateful you found him for me.”