Page 61 of Kneeling for Them

His shouts fade as I pay the fare, and the bus door closes behind me.I find a seat next to a woman who wears a hollowed-out, hungry expression.She looks like I felt, two months ago.

“My boss gave me these fries,” I tell her, “but I’m not hungry.Do you want them?”

She nods and accepts the take-out container, then devours the fries as the bus rumbles down the street.

Two minutes later, my phone buzzes with a text.I expect Sebastian, but it’s Kingston instead.

Come to my place.We’ll all talk.

Sebastian must have called him.

Something is jammed in my throat—my heart?Trina’s fist?A tangled weight of Sebastian’s secrets?

Hands shaking, I text Kingston back:Did you know?

Come to my place and we’ll talk about everything.

He knew.He didn’t tell me, either.

Sebastian

I climb back into the car and text Kingston immediately.

As soon as I spotted Trina leaving Bartleby’s, I knew I was screwed.She saw my car waiting across the street, and even though she couldn’t see me through the tinted windows, she guessed I was sitting here, and she flipped me off.

She also smiled.

She got to Ella before I could.

“Fuck!”I shouted.

Kellan, sitting in the front seat, didn’t react, but I immediately apologized.

“No problem,” he murmured.

“Do you see her yet?”I asked.

“Not yet.”

I wanted to throw myself back against the seat, close my eyes, obliterate everything.But I had to watch for Ella.I didn’t want to go into her place of work and make a scene, but I was fucking worried about her.Depending on what Trina said, or how…I didn’t even want to imagine how bad Ella’s feeling at the moment.

I climbed out of the car to wait for her.The cold night air was harsh, exactly what I needed.

Ella left the pub.Her face was pale, her mouth pinched in unhappiness.

She ignored my attempts to get her to come with me.Now I’m waiting for Kingston to text me back.He needs to intervene, because I’m likely the very last person Ella wants to hear from right now.

A few minutes later, Kingston texts that Ella’s on her way to his place.

We’re going to figure this out, once and for all.I’m telling her everything, and…fuck.She’s going to leave.I would leave, if I were her.Isn’t that what everyone says about abusers?They don’t change?Why should she hang around and expect me to be any different?

This relationship is doomed.

“Take me to King’s,” I say to Kellan, and the car pulls into traffic.The ride there goes by in a blur, my thoughts circling, my gut in knots.

When I step into King’s penthouse, Ella isn’t here yet.

“She doesn’t want to see me,” I say.