Page 59 of Kiss of Seduction (Court of Chains #1)

Natalya wanted to kill someone. Preferably Varro or Stefano, but she would have settled for any creature nearby and somewhat connected with this attempt to take Evie.

When they’d gotten back to the high-rise and she’d learned Sam was involved, Drago had to forcibly hold Natalya back to keep her from hunting down the woman and slowly tear her to pieces.

She had thought Evie was dead. She’d felt her fear, bright and terrible, and then she’d felt nothing at all. No trace of emotion. Nothing. The terror of that hadn’t left her, and it was constant, fresh kindling to her fury.

Evie had stopped crying by the time they got back to the high-rise, but it hadn’t lasted.

Her calm was brought on by exhaustion, nothing else.

The moment they got inside the apartment, and Natalya took Flea’s jacket off her, Evie panicked again.

There were dirty smears on her arms. A man’s fingers outlined in grime.

Evie had started clawing at herself, trying to get the marks off her skin. Natalya had to stop her before she hurt herself.

She had made Evie shower, and she had to go with her into the stall and help her, she was shaking so badly. Natalya had dressed her in sleeping clothes, something covering and warm. She’d taken her to the couch and wrapped her in a blanket as Natalya held her in her arms.

Evie’s rest was never long-lasting. She only stopped crying when she got too tired to keep going. Sometimes she fell asleep, and then she woke up crying again. It took hours before Evie could speak without sobbing halfway through the sentence.

“I was in the van,” she said quietly. “If Flea hadn’t come, then…”

Natalya hugged her tight. Natalya owed Flea a life debt for what he’d done. She wanted to thank him, even knowing the risk that came with thanking one of the sídhe.

“You’re safe, darling. You’re with me. You’re safe.”

It didn’t feel safe. The shadows seemed heavier. More looming and dangerous.

Natalya couldn’t stop thinking about how close it had been. If Flea had been just a little slower or hadn’t fought as well… Sins, if Sam hadn’t seen reason and warned Evie…

“I trusted her…” Evie didn’t sound angry. Only sorrowful.

“Sam?” Natalya barely kept the rage out of her voice.

“She was so scared.” Evie suddenly looked afraid. “Is she okay? Do you know?”

Natalya frowned in surprise. She wanted Sam tortured for what she did, but Evie was genuinely worried.

“Last I heard, Sam was alright.” Sam had been picked up and interrogated a few hours before. She’d apparently been out of herself with guilt.

Evie sighed in relief. “Thank God.”

“You… care?”

“They lied to her, Natalya. She was afraid, and she was desperate. Of course I care.”

Natalya couldn’t help but stare at her. How could she be this caring, still? Even after everything she’d been through, she was concerned about the woman who’d almost betrayed her. Even when she was this fragile and vulnerable, she still worried about people who didn’t deserve her attention.

Then she shocked Natalya by laughing.

“What’s funny?” Natalya asked, a little afraid that Evie had lost her mind.

“You. You want to kill her. Don’t you?”

Natalya didn’t answer. Evie laughed again, but it quickly transitioned into sobs.

“Promise you won’t,” Evie said after a moment.

Natalya sneered at the words. She didn’t want to make that promise. Not when Sam was the only link to Varro within murdering distance.

Evie leaned away from her, face serious. With her eyes red from tears, the expression looked tragic.

“ Promise me.”

There were many things Natalya could do. Wanted to do. But she couldn’t deny Evie a request made out of kindness.

“I promise.”

Evie kept staring at her. Only when Natalya put her face in her hands did she relax.

“I promise, darling. I won’t harm her.” Natalya ran her fingers over Evie’s skin, then through her hair. Her hands were shaking a little. She hoped Evie wouldn’t notice.

“What’s wrong?” Evie asked.

Natalya cursed inwardly. She shouldn’t make Evie worry for her. Not now, not ever. Not after everything she’d been through.

“Nothing.” She gave Evie a small smile. “Not anymore. Not when I know you’re safe.”

Evie leaned into Natalya’s hands, finding comfort in the touch.

It was all Natalya could do not to force calm into her.

She was so frightened Natalya could feel it within herself without having to focus.

But Evie had asked her not to. She didn’t want to feel calm only to have the sensation vanish the moment Natalya let her go.

As hard as it was to do, Natalya respected that.

Beyond instilling traces of ease when she was afraid Evie would hurt herself or when she had trouble breathing, Natalya let her be with her pain. Though she didn’t let her be alone.

Even if Evie had screamed and shouted for her to leave, Natalya wouldn’t have been able to. Not when she was this worried. Not when she cared this much. Not when she lov—

She tensed at the thought. At the realization. Evie noticed.

“There’s something else.” She moved back, out of Natalya’s touch, and turned away from her. “I get it. This isn’t what you wanted. You’re sick of it.”

Natalya would have said something, but she was too stunned to speak. The silence confirmed whatever conclusion Evie had made in her head.

“I’m no one. I’m just a slave you rescued. I’m not supposed to be this much trouble.” Evie turned so she was no longer facing Natalya. “I know you feel responsible for me. Like you have to protect me. It must be a frustrating task with everything I need all the time.”

Her voice sounded cold and cruel. Not towards Natalya. Towards herself. It knocked Natalya out of her stupor enough that she pulled Evie close again, holding her tightly.

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true.” Evie started crying again, making her voice tremble. “I’m so messed up… Every time I think I’m getting better, something happens and it ruins everything. It ruins me . You shouldn’t bother yourself with someone like that. You could have anyone you wanted.”

“I don’t want anyone else. I only want you.”

“Why?”

Natalya stroked Evie’s hair, a thousand reasons coming to mind. There were so many things she admired about this woman. Her tenacity, strength, and courage. Her kindness, how much she cared, and how genuine she was. How honest and vulnerable.

It also came from how she saw Natalya. Her non-possessiveness and tenderness. Her willingness to fight for them, even when Natalya tried to push her away. Her ability to argue with her and deny her—something no human should be able to do.

There were too many reasons. So Natalya only gave one.

“Because you’re you, darling.”

She rested her chin on top of Evie’s head so Evie couldn’t see her face. She didn’t trust herself to look in control. She didn’t trust her eyes not to be filled with shock.

Greater Lust demons weren’t supposed to love or even care about other creatures. They were made to be frivolous. Insatiable and ever-hungry.

Greater fiends were supposed to be something mortals couldn’t survive. Only when enslaved could they form genuine connections, be they emotional or physical. It was the tragic fate of all their kind.

Maybe a century ago, before Natalya killed Roland, the laws guiding that fate would have remained in effect. Maybe before she learned to harness her abilities. Before the Court of Chains and the control and power it gave her.

Before Evie.

Before brave, strong, beautiful Evie, who Natalya didn’t deserve.

Who was gentle with her. Who was careful with a monster more concept than creature.

Who wanted Natalya, not in a conjured or possessive manner, but simply because Natalya was Natalya.

Not even because she was the picture of power and control.

Evie had seen that image shattered, and it only brought her closer.

And Natalya loved her. She loved her more than she could stand. She loved her so much she feared it would kill her if it wasn’t returned.

Ironic that she could see emotions in others with barely any effort, yet she’d been blind to her own. It was hard to see what you thought to be impossible.

“You’re shaking,” Evie whispered.

Natalya breathed out the shock to her system. She couldn’t do this now. She couldn’t withdraw to figure out what these feelings meant and how to deal with them. And she certainly couldn’t tell Evie. Not after everything she’d just been through.

Not when Evie might not feel the same way.

“Don’t worry about me.” Natalya leaned back, getting her face under control. “I’m just relieved you’re safe. It’s nothing more.”

Evie looked at her warily, brow creased and her teary eyes narrowed.

She could tell Natalya was hiding something.

This woman knew Natalya too damn well. She saw things too keenly, and she cared so much about others that she would insist on Natalya telling her.

She’d be angry if she didn’t. She’d worry.

Any other night that’s what Evie would have done. But right then, she was too exhausted. Too hurt and shaken from what happened.

“Varro’s not going to stop,” she said with sudden realization. “He won’t. Not ever. He’ll keep coming for me.”

“I won’t let him.”

“That doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter at all. He’s too strong. Too powerful, and he doesn’t stop . He doesn’t want me back because of what I know. He wants me back just so he can torture me. So he can kill me.”

Natalya held Evie’s chin, careful not to touch the wound there. It halted her panicked ramble.

“Listen to me,” Natalya said, command making her voice hard.

She needed Evie to believe this. “He will not get that chance. I will make sure of it. We are drawing his soldiers out in just a few weeks when the East Coast get their people into position. We’ll topple him.

I’ll kill him before I ever let him touch you again. This I promise you. I swear it.”

A tremble raked through Evie’s body, and her eyes filled with tears. They spilled over as she started weeping again. Relieved. From a promise made by a demon.

Natalya had never promised so much to another before. What good was the vow of a fiend? Of a monster who delved in Sin and who thrived on destroying lives?

She had never wanted to be an honest creature. But Evie made her want to be. She made her want to be better.

It was true that Evie had hard eyes for the world. She was scared of many things, had been hurt too many times. But her eyes weren’t hard for Natalya. For her, they were as soft as dewy moss.

She wanted to stare into those eyes until the world burned to embers. She wanted Evie to want that too. Natalya knew it couldn’t be. That it shouldn’t.

Evie was a Purple, and then only because the Court didn’t allow them to live as they did without her having the symbol around her neck. She wouldn’t want more. She needed her own life, not the life promised for the Claimed of the second most powerful creature in the Court of Chains.

Natalya could have focused on the connection between them. Sensed Evie’s emotions and thereby known how she felt. She didn’t dare. Not when she was afraid she wouldn’t find what she was looking for.

She pushed down the hope building in her chest. She pushed down the longing, the adoration, and the love, hoping that by ignoring it, it would go away.

Just like when she’d ignored Evie before, it didn’t work as intended.