Page 9 of Kiss-Fist (Deaf Hearts #1)

CHAPTER FIVE

THOM

I haven’t seen Robbie at the gym since he signed that long speech I didn’t understand. His next appointment isn’t until Monday, but I half expected to see him Wednesday afternoon for an impromptu session.

Only he wasn’t there, leaving me half-distracted all night, watching the door, waiting. I even rewatched the security video a couple of times and tried to look up signs online to see what he was saying, but I failed miserably.

I’ve given up hope that he’ll be back, and I’ve got zero pep in my step as I go through my shower routine before I have to be at work. It’s the last place I want to be right now, but it’s also the only place I ever run into him, so I’m definitely not going to call out.

I mean, I could show up at his place of work—I asked around—I know where that is. But I’m pretty sure that would be too creepy, and I refuse to scare him off.

Instead, I scrub myself dry with a towel, then drop it on the floor before stepping out of the bathroom and coming to a halt at the sight of a man on my couch.

“Oh, what the fuck!” The words tumble out as I grab at my naked crotch, my hair still dripping from my shower. I’m fairly used to my house being invaded by my friends and my brother, but I prefer that it doesn’t happen when I’m fully naked.

“Relax,” the guy says, waving a hand at me. It’s only then that I recognize him: Isaac, my so-called best friend. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

He’s not technically wrong. Isaac has been my best friend since I can remember. We were each other’s firsts for pretty much everything. He came out our freshman year of high school, and it gave me the courage to come out a few months later.

We didn’t exactly have the most queer-friendly upbringing though, so it was easier to experiment with each other and avoid the possible black eye from hitting on the wrong guy in the gym.

But it’s been years since I’ve let him anywhere near my dick, and right now, it doesn’t seem interested in anyone or anything except the hot professor who has been tormenting my sleeping and waking hours.

“What are you doing here?” I don’t wait for his answer, slipping into my room to grab my outfit for the day.

Lycra shorts because I have to teach a cycling class and thigh chafe sucks, then loose basketball shorts over them because although Robbie isn’t on my schedule, he tends to randomly show up, and we’re not at the show him my boner stage of our relationship yet .

Or ever.

Hot or not, he’s a client. And he’s out of my league.

“I came by to borrow a dildo,” Isaac calls from his spot on the couch.

“Oh, fuck off.” He’s so full of shit.

“Fine, fine. Your dildos are too small anyway. I can take much bigger dicks.”

“Shut up, Isaac. You know that’s not true.”

He laughs loudly and then sighs. “Yeah, okay. The truth. I came to escape. Brandi has a new boyfriend.” Brandi is his sister, and she’s usually cool, but the moment she gets a new boyfriend, all sex hell breaks loose in their apartment.

“This is why I refuse to live with my brother.” I see my brother often enough at the gym. That’s about all I can stand of family time. Pulling on my favorite shirt that shows off my biceps without chafing my nipples, I step back out into the living room and drop against his side.

He sighs and drops his temple against my shoulder. “My sister is a butt-face.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And she’s butt-ugly.”

She’s not, but I don’t correct him. I know better than to get involved in sibling shit.

“Yet she can score literally anyone anywhere any time. Why can’t I do that?”

“Because you don’t want anyone anywhere anytime,” I remind him. Isaac has always been picky about his relationships. I had at least a dozen hookups and dates under my belt before he had his first who wasn’t me. Ruffling his hair, I shove him off me. “But this isn’t a good time. I have to jet.”

He pouts cutely. “Do you ever not work? I’m leaving town in two weeks, and I’m not going to be back for almost a year.” His travel schedule isn’t new though. He’s been like this since he started working, jetting off to random countries for months at a time.

I smirk as I reach into the fridge for my protein shake and run my right hand over my abs. “Sorry, this doesn’t grow itself, baby.” I snag my keys off the hook and turn to him. “Stay the night. I have some coupons for Chinese and pizza in the drawer if you get hungry. I’ll be home before nine.”

He blows me a kiss, and I catch it, pressing it to my heart.

“When you get back,” he tells me, “you’re gonna explain why you’re so eager to be at work today. I know it’s not about your abs.”

“Whaaaat? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He gives me a look, and I hate that he can literally figure me out just by watching me for ten seconds. “I’ll wait up.”

It’s easier to ignore him, jump in my car, and say a little prayer that Robbie doesn’t show up tonight, just so I can avoid coming up with a lie to tell my best friend, who most definitely will not believe me.

My eyes are a little hazy as I watch Leaf’s form. He bends, then straightens. Bends, then straightens. There’s too much curve in his back though, so I walk up and run my hand over his spine.

“Breathe out, straighten right here, then try it again. ”

He does what I ask, squatting and standing. “Oh. Shit. That’s so much easier. Who knew?”

“I do know what I’m doing most of the time.”

Leaf grins at me. He looks a little better since his chicken wounds have started healing. “Seems so.”

I let him continue his squats as I head back to the bench and pick up my phone.

I have the security app open and have pulled up the video log from the other day when Robbie and I were working out.

It’s been tempting me since I got here, tormenting me because not only will it mean watching Robbie’s gorgeous form again, but I still don’t know what he said.

I hit the button and watch it again. Despite staring at it often, I can only pick up a couple of words here and there. But it’s nothing more than Zev has already taught me.

Fuck, what I’d give to know just a little.

“Uh. Is that a thing you do here? Watch us on security footage?”

My gaze snaps up to Leaf, who has a brow quirked, one of his arms pulled over his head in a stretch.

Guilt rushes through me, and I feel my ears start to burn.

I have no idea how long I’d gotten lost watching the video, and I do my best to come up with a lie, but all I can manage is a small dying sound.

“Are you two dating or something?”

I fucking wish. “No. He’s my new client, and I was just kind of hoping I could figure out what he said before he took off.” There. Not a lie. Just…not the whole truth about my motivations.

Leaf hums, then holds his hand out for the phone .

“Gimme.”

“You made me promise you wouldn’t do any translations,” I point out.

“Interpreting,” he corrects, “and yes. But you didn’t make fun of me when my shorts started riding up my butt-crack, so I can do you this one solid.”

My palms begin to sweat. What if Robbie’s telling me what an asshole I am? What if he’s going on about how much he wishes he had a hotter trainer? What if he thinks I smell like jock cheese?

“Thom?”

I clear my throat, then slap the phone against his palm and close my eyes. “Don’t tell me if it’s mean, okay? It’s been a rough week, and I don’t want my feelings to be hurt.”

He makes a soft noise that kind of sounds like a laugh, but I don’t look up. And the silence stretches on. And on. And on . It’s not nearly as comfortable or as soothing as my silences with Robbie.

We communicate a lot through touch. His face is so easy to read—he’s like a novel in a language I’m just starting to learn.

“I don’t, uh…I don’t know about this,” Leaf eventually says.

I drag my hand down my face. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”

“No,” he says slowly, “it’s not bad . It’s just kind of…personal.”

“Okay, shit. Don’t tell me.” The moment I say the words, I regret them. “Or tell me. Damn it! I don’t know what to do.”

Leaf sighs, then tilts his head to the side. “I had this rule when I was interpreting: if a hearing person would know what someone was saying, then the Deaf person should know too. Even if it sucks. I would interpret every single thing I could hear, even if it seemed unimportant.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.”

He nods and squares his shoulders. “If you’d said all that to this guy’s face and he couldn’t understand you, I’d have told him everything. So…”

“So…” So? Is he going to say it or just torment me?

Leaf drags his tongue over his lower lip, then sighs. “So it’s only fair you get the same treatment.” He pauses for another beat. “You’re so hot.”

I flush. “Thank you?”

“No,” he says, slapping a hand over his face and dragging it down. “I’m telling you what he said.”

“Oh.” My blush goes deeper. “Right. Sorry. Carry on.” I glance away. I cannot hear this while looking at him.

“You’re so hot. It’s really starting to piss me off.

Why do you need to touch me like that? I wanted to come to the gym to work on my muscles, not get my dick hard.

I have never hated and loved something so much at the same time.

If you had any mercy, you’d throw me into the sun. At least then this would all stop.”

Silence falls again, and my insides are squirming like I just swallowed an entire kaleidoscope of butterflies. I knew Robbie had gotten hard during one of our sessions, and I knew our time together wasn’t totally miserable, considering he kept coming back.

But I didn’t realize he felt like that . And I didn’t know it was tormenting him the same way it was tormenting me.

I feel myself twitch in my shorts, and if it wasn’t for the fact that I had a spin class in ten minutes, I’d be going for an angry-yet-confused jerk-off session in the staff bathroom.

Fuck. What am I supposed to do with this?

“I, uh…I’m gonna go shower now,” Leaf says, handing my phone back.

I nod. That’s probably for the best. “Thanks, Leaf. I owe you.”

He stops midway through his step and turns. “No, you don’t. We’re going to forget this ever happened. It will die here and now.”

“Yeah,” I say from behind a tense laugh, giving him a mock salute off the side of my forehead. “See you…?”

Soon? Never? How big of a line did I make him cross?

“Thursday,” he tells me.

I sag with relief. I really do like working with him, and I don’t want to lose a client over this. I say nothing as he walks off, and then I stare down at my phone to where the video is paused. With the pinch of two fingers, I zoom in on Robbie’s face.

God, why does he have to look like that? Why does he have to make me want him like this?

The front door jingles with the welcome bells, along with a rush of wind and a faint rumble of thunder in the distance. The lights flicker for a second before a shadow crosses my vision.

Leaf’s back. “Can I see your phone?”

Is he going to try to delete the video? I quickly exit the app so I don’t look like a total creep, and I watch as he opens up my app store and types something in. A beat later, he turns the phone to face me, and it dings with face recognition.

“What’s happening?”

He glances up at me for a beat. “Last name?”

I give it to him, and I watch him type more. “Seriously, Leaf?—”

“It’s an app. An ASL app. It’s not as thorough as actually learning in a classroom, but it’ll give you the basics.

This one is Deaf run, so it’s not going to be garbage or archaic signs no one uses anymore.

” He taps on the keyboard a few more times, then hands it over, and I look down at the brightly colored screen.

Wow, this is really nice. Above and beyond, really. My chest clenches a little as I look up at him because I also think I have to turn him down. “Um. Thank you, but I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

He frowns at me, and there’s something like anger in his tone when he speaks. “Why not?”

I flush and glance away for a beat. “I have a hard time reading. Um…I have a thing.” I tap my temple.

He says nothing, waiting patiently for me to explain.

“Dyslexia. It’s pretty bad. And ADHD. Focusing is hard, and I tend to get lost in lessons, especially when I get distracted by trying to figure out what the text is saying.”

His face shifts into understanding. “Oh. No, look.” He slides up beside me and takes the phone again, navigating to the settings menu.

“There’s this accessibility option. It allows for verbal instructions.

” He toggles it on, then goes to the square lesson with what looks like the alphabet and taps it .

“ASL Alphabet Lesson One,” a robotic voice says.

My eyes widen. “Oh. Wow, okay.” That’s something. It’s more than something. I’m not used to finding things that work for me.

Leaf softens as he hands my phone back. “You can call me if you need help too. I know how hard some of this stuff can be.”

I feel something warm in my chest. I really want to make him my best friend. I don’t think Isaac will mind having to share the spotlight. “Thanks. I promise I’m not trying to be a creep or anything. I really just wanted to know what he was saying.”

He nods. “I won’t say anything to him if I meet him. In case you were worried,” he adds.

I was, though I was trying not to think about it. “If it helps, I’d want to learn ASL for him anyway. Even if no one helped me figure out what he said.”

He tilts his head to the side, studying me before giving a sharp nod.

“Yeah. He’ll appreciate it. Most people don’t take the time.

” He pauses. “And if you’re really serious, check the community college.

They have classes that don’t cost an arm and a leg, and while it is taught with a lot of writing on the board, your professor will find a way to help you. ”

That’s something. It’s almost like losing another roadblock, but the happiness doesn’t last. I feel a small rush of guilt because none of us took the time to do this for Zev.

He came in promising he could work the job without us needing to accommodate him too much—and mostly, he was right.

He speaks verbally, he’s got hearing devices, and he lipreads.

But I’m starting to realize that we could have done more .

We could have done better. So maybe this isn’t all for Robbie. He’s just, well, an incentive. A sexy, nerdy incentive that would probably look hot in a bow tie.

I look up to where Leaf had been standing, but I realize he’s gone, and in the doorway of the gym is someone else. I didn’t even hear the bells, but they must have rung because the one person I wanted to see was now standing in the doorway. My heart leaps into my throat.

He’s here.

Robbie’s here.

And it’s clear from the way he’s staring around the room, he’s looking for someone. And I have a feeling it’s me.