Page 31 of Kiss-Fist (Deaf Hearts #1)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

THOM

“I’m panicking. Or having a heart attack. Or having heart panic. Is that a thing?”

Dex gives me a flat look as I frantically throw clothes around the room. “I mean, you barely know one another. Is it really that big of a deal?”

“Yes!” I spin around, offended as fuck. “Our relationship is fragile right now. The wrong pair of jeans that make my butt look flat and it will all be over.”

“There’s literally not a single piece of fabric on this Earth that could make your butt look flat, Thom. You do way too many squats for that.”

Maybe he’s right. I turn toward the mirror, moving left and right to look at my profile. Okay. Robbie isn’t going to hate my butt in any pair of jeans. But it still matters. It feels like it matters, anyway.

I hate being this worked up, but the night we spent together hasn’t changed the fact that there are pieces of our lives that are fundamentally incompatible.

That can change the more I learn his language and the more I come to understand his culture, but I can’t push a button and make myself fluent, which is why tonight is important.

Not only does Robbie need to still like me, but his friends need to like me too.

“What’s this?” Dex asks as I go for a tight, silky black T-shirt that shows off the curves of my pecs.

I pull it over my head, then frantically try to tame my hair back down as I squint at him. He’s holding the little see-through container full of earplugs that Leaf shoved at me before I left. “Earplugs.”

Dex frowns. “Earplugs.”

“It’s a Deaf show,” I tell him as I attack my hair in the mirror with a comb.

He snorts. “Isn’t that an oxymoron?”

I turn to face him. “What?”

“That you need earplugs if the thing is for Deaf people. Like…do they want you to pretend to be Deaf?”

I lean over and snatch them out of his hand, banging them on top of the dresser before I grab my pomade and dig two fingers in. “No.” I drag my fingers through my hair, then reorder it with the comb for the twelfth time. “It’s going to be very, very loud.”

“ Deaf people,” he repeats.

It’s annoying that he doesn’t get it. “Yes. Deaf doesn’t mean entirely without hearing for everyone. Google it and educate yourself, asshole.” I will literally throw myself onto the highway if he says any of this shit in front of Robbie.

And honestly, I need Dex to learn what he can. I don’t want to separate my brother from the man I want to…well. God, it’s too creepy to say marry this early, right? Yeah. Definitely creepy.

Even though it’s kind of true?

Whatever. The point is, Dex needs to be on board with this. I feel another wave of panic in my chest because what if I’m forced to choose between him and Robbie?

“Why are you making that face?”

“You need to take ASL!” I shout, then slap my hand over my mouth.

He stares at me, eyes slightly wide, a single brow lifted toward his hairline. “I’m sorry. What?”

“I didn’t mean to yell, but yeah. You need to learn ASL.”

“ I’m not fucking this guy.”

“No, but I like him, Dex. I really, really like him. A lot.”

He blows out a puff of air. “Can’t he, like, lipread or some shit?”

That makes me want to punch him. “A little, but dude, you can learn the basics, at least. If he sticks around, I want you two to be able to communicate. You’re literally the only family I’ve got.”

He rolls his eyes and sighs.

“Please.”

“Shit. You really like this guy, don’t you?”

His words hit me kind of hard, though it’s not like they’re a shock. I’ve always been the guy who wore his heart on his sleeve. I’m always obvious. I sink down to the edge of my bed and look over at him.

“Yeah. I really like him. A lot. I think this could be something real. ”

He takes a beat, then sighs. “Yeah, alright.”

“Come on, I—” Wait. “Are you serious? You will?”

He snorts and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, Thom. I’m serious. If it’s that important to you, I’ll look into it.” He waits a beat, then says, “I mean, we should for Zev anyway, right?”

I sniffle loudly. “Yeah. I think that’ll make him happy when he gets back.

Check out the classes at the college. The ASL teacher is amazing.

His name is Denver, and he’s really, really good.

” I know I’m getting ahead of myself, and I know that Dex isn’t going to actually do anything that costs money until I’m sure that this is something real, but the fact that he’s willing means so much.

“What about an app for now? I can’t start in the middle of the semester.”

I stand up and dig my phone out of my pocket, grunting because yeah, these jeans are way too tight. Not that I’m going to change now. It took me five minutes to get them over my ass.

Oh god, what if I need to take them off?

Robbie will have to work up a sweat. He might hurt himself.

Fuck it. He can always cut them off. Who needs pants anyway?

“Here,” I say and show him the app Leaf downloaded for me. “It’s free for the basics, then you can pay for the other lessons. I mean, it’s not good enough to become fluent or anything, but Robbie will appreciate if you can learn a few things.”

Dex nods and types on his phone for a second, then looks up at me. “Is that why he won’t come on the double date? ”

My heart sinks toward my feet. I hadn’t told Dex why, only that Robbie couldn’t make it indefinitely. “Uh, well. Yeah. And I get it. It’s not fair if he has to sit at a table not able to understand what anyone is saying and only getting bits and pieces. I’m not fluent enough to interpret for him.”

Dex bites his lip and nods. “I get it. It would suck ass if Aminah took me to see her family and no one spoke English.”

My relief is physical. He gets it. “I think he’ll say yes eventually. But you have to put work in.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” he says. We don’t say the L word to each other often. It wasn’t a thing growing up, and while I do love him—he’s the only family that’s ever mattered to me once my parents shut me out—it’s still hard for both of us to express it.

“I know I am.” If he were anyone else, I would have hugged him. Instead, I punch him hard in the arm, then jump half a foot when my phone begins to buzz. “Shit!”

It’s Robbie letting me know he’s here. I respond quickly.

Thom: Come up. The door’s open.

He hasn’t been to my place before, and I feel nervous about it. I fish my shoes out from under my bed, but there’s only one, so I finish my frantic hunt for the second one in the living room just in time to see the front door open.

And fuck me. Robbie looks like a goddamn wet dream. He’s wearing tight jeans and a button-up with his sleeves rolled to his elbow. His hair is neatly styled and not the wild mess it usually is from running his hands through it .

From the gentle scent I catch as I sway close to him, I can tell he’s freshly showered.

‘Delicious,’ I sign when I stop and ogle him.

His cheeks pink, and he leans in, but before I can snag a kiss, he pulls all the way back. It takes me a second to realize why. Spinning, I see Dex hovering a few feet away. He looks…nervous?

That can’t be right.

He looks down at his phone, then clears his throat, tucks it into his pocket, and raises his hands. ‘Hi. How are you?’

Robbie’s brows fly up, and his lips twitch into a half smile. ‘Fine. How are you? Dex, right?’

Dex looks panicked.

‘He hasn’t gotten that far,’ I sign, although it probably comes out more like, ‘he not know many signs,’ but it works. Robbie understands, giving me a little nod, and then I add, ‘I gave him the app.’

Robbie snorts a laugh and shakes his head. ‘It’s fine.’ Then he sticks out his hand, and Dex shakes it. It lasts only a second before Robbie turns to me. ‘Ready?’

‘No.’

He blinks. ‘Why?’

I pinch my fingers to my thumb and tap my cheek. ‘Kiss’

He rolls his eyes and jerks his head toward Dex, who holds up his hands in surrender and backs out of the room. He probably doesn’t know that sign, but he can infer.

I grin at Robbie triumphantly. ‘Happy?’

He shrugs.

‘Afraid of PDA?’

At that, his hand darts out, and he pinches my chin. Hard. He takes a step closer. ‘No. But he’s your brother,’ he signs.

All facts. But they don’t matter when it comes to Robbie’s lush, gorgeous mouth. ‘I don’t care.’

He huffs, then leans in and gives me what I’ve been begging for. His tongue slips into my mouth, hot and demanding, but just as I start to lose myself in him, he pulls back.

‘Ready now?’

I hate him. Except I don’t. I really, really don’t. So I make a show of tucking my hard dick into my waistband, just to let him know how much I want him.

‘Yeah. I am now.’

He snorts again. ‘Are you sure? This is your first Deaf event.’

‘Leaf got me ready,’ I insist. I pull the earplugs out of my pocket, and Robbie gives me a glowing nod of approval. ‘I have my notepad app,’ I explain, tapping my pocket where my phone is sitting. ‘And I practiced in the mirror all afternoon.’

He gives a happy hum and tugs me forward by the belt loops, rocking his dick against mine. He’s a little hard too. His mouth meets mine in a second, more desperate kiss. Did all of that turn him on?

Or am I just that sexy?

Or both?

Leaning back, I smile at him. ‘I did good?’

‘Yes.’

Swallowing thickly, I say, ‘I’m nervous. ’

He takes my hands and kisses each of my palms. ‘You’ll be welcome. And it’ll be fun. Trust.’

I don’t know that last sign, so I ask him to fingerspell it. He does, several times, and I nod when I finally get it.

Thing is, I do trust him. More than I probably should at this point, but it is what it is. Nothing I can do about my feelings. They’re just there.

I hold him by the waist and take a minute to look at him and honestly can’t believe my luck. He’s nerdy and hot and…fuck. He’s perfect.

‘Let’s go,’ he signs.

I nod. I can’t back out now. I have to prove to him that I can do this. That I’m ready to be his, in every single way he wants me.