Page 41 of Kiss-Fist (Deaf Hearts #1)

I’m pretty sure I messed a lot of that up because Alex clears his throat and says, “Go ahead and voice. I’ll interpret for you.”

My cheeks are flaming hot. I hate being behind.

But I also hate knowing I’ll probably never catch up with how fast everyone fingerspells.

“I’m dyslexic,” I tell them. “And I have ADHD, so my brain moves faster than the rest of me, and then it messes up the letter order, and…yeah. It seems to have translated into ASL too. Sorry.”

There’s a flurry of hands and Alex’s voice telling me not to be sorry, not to apologize for who I am and how my brain works. The support is overwhelming, and I hunker down in my seat. I’m an extrovert, and I don’t mind attention. But this is different.

This is pointed. This is a wave of positivity and support I’m not used to having. It’s supposed to feel good, but it actually kind of aches a little. What would it be like to grow up in a house like this? To be loved like this?

Robbie notices. He reaches under the table and lays a warm, heavy hand on my knee. ‘It’s okay,’ he signs close to his chest. Then he bangs his fist hard on the table and signs at his family, ‘Finish. Move on.’

All eyes turn to Alex next, and apparently, there’s some gossip I’m missing, but they all quickly start to lay into him. They forget to interpret—even Robbie, who’s smiling as he gives Alex shit about whatever it is—some work thing and…underwear.

But I realize I don’t mind. It’s calming. It’s not nearly as quiet as I thought it might be. But it’s distracting and kind of soothing in a way. It lets me blend into the background.

Then Robbie shoots me a look. ‘Sorry. Alex?—’

‘No. It’s okay. I’m happy.’

He lifts a brow. ‘Happy?’

‘With you. I’m happy I’m here.’

There are several soft, almost involuntary-sounding ‘awws’ going around. Robbie and I both ignore them as he leans in slowly and kisses me. The noise gets louder, but in that moment, I don’t give a shit.

After dinner, I find myself outside with Quinn and Theo, lounging back in some Adirondack chairs.

Robbie got sidetracked with his nieces, and I shooed him away.

So now I’m in the backyard while his mom makes something in the kitchen—a word I pretended I knew but had no idea what she was trying to convey, so it seems this food item will be a surprise—and his dad is cleaning the grill.

I’m finishing off my second lemonade and honestly feeling a little buzzed. ‘You want another?’ Robbie’s mom appears and asks, and I nod, letting her make off with my cup.

‘You know there’s alcohol in there,’ Quinn says, and my eyes widen, not sure I understood.

‘Alcohol?’

‘Yeah.’

Theo giggles, and I find myself smiling. ‘I feel buzzed.’ I fingerspell that last word until Theo shows me the sign.

Alex appears, handing me my drink and taking a seat next to me, signing and speaking at the same time, “Mom told me there was no alcohol in this, but I think she took pity on you after the chaos at the table and snuck some into your last one.”

That makes Theo and Quinn both laugh.

“She knows this is a lot for you. Happened my first time too. Only I got so drunk I ended up passing out in the hydrangeas. Killed them off. Had to come back the next week and plant new ones.”

Theo is snorting now and waving his hand, describing in detail the way Alex looked as he was barfing all over the flowers.

If his reenactment wasn’t so impressive, I’d be a little confused by it.

But then Alex leans over and explains, “Get used to it. Before the month is out, you’ll know everything about everyone.

” He glances to the side for a second. “Just wait until your next Deaf event. You’ll find out what color underwear a total stranger bought last week. ”

I relax and lean into it. I love the little bits of their culture that are just starting to make sense to me. And the little bits Denver taught us in class I can now see the longer I spend time here. It’s so…bright. And everything is so visual. I had no idea a body could be loud until now.

And yeah, with the buzz I have going on, I feel that earlier happiness even more profoundly now.

It sinks into my chest and settles there, a comforting weight.

Almost like I know for sure I can have this—that I can keep this.

That through Robbie, the pieces of family I thought I’d lost after coming out are mine again.

I grin as they continue to rib Alex, who just interjects, his signs large and sweeping. By the time Robbie is back outside, his nieces in tow, I’m even more buzzed. My eyes flick to his hands. His fingernails are painted rainbow. I like that.

‘I want too,’ I tell the girls, and they rush back inside to grab the nail polish.

‘Did Mom give him alcohol in the lemonade?’ Robbie asks, grabbing my drink and taking a sip. A frown appears on his face, and Alex grins.

‘She wanted him to relax. He was tense at dinner.’

‘And now he’s drunk.’

I know that sign and shake my head. ‘No. Not drunk. Buzzed and relaxed.’ Robbie’s lips twitch, and I add, ‘You need relax. Drink.’

That earns me snorts from his brothers, and Robbie settles in a chair opposite me so he can see what we’re saying. We’re now in a small circle, and when the girls return with the nail polish, they get to work as the dessert is set on the table.

I glance over and see a sundae bar, and my mouth waters. I sign the word ‘cool’ on my chest and notice that my nails positively sparkle .

‘Looks good,’ Robbie says and then blushes, holding up his hand. ‘We match.’

‘Yeah.’

We move back toward the table where everything is set, and I wait my turn to dish my bowl up.

Problem is everyone takes their time, scooping up ice cream and toppings while chatting at the same time. By the time I get my sundae in front of me, I’m a little exhausted, and some of it is melted.

But the buzz is making nothing really matter.

We casually move back to the seats outside, everyone settling in while eating and chatting.

Robbie looks happy with his family, joking around and conversing easily.

His brothers tease him, and his sister even joins in.

Alex is kind enough to include me when I ask him to interpret for me, and by the time the evening ends, my buzz has worn off, and I feel fucking happy.

Because I met the family, and they liked me.

As we attempt to leave, everyone stops to talk to me, hugging me a few times and asking me to come again next week. I see exactly what Leaf and Robbie had been talking about with the Deaf goodbyes. Twenty long minutes have gone by, and they’re still not quite ready to let us go. But I love it.

This was so different from Rome and how he treated me that night. This thing between Robbie and me is gonna work out just fine.

His mom kisses my cheek one more time, and his dad makes me swear I won’t miss next week’s dinner, and after they’re sure I’m going to keep my promise, they let us go. There’s a heavy silence between us as we head to the car.

‘You okay?’ Robbie asks, pulling me to a stop. ‘You still buzzed?’

I laugh and pull him in for a kiss. He tastes like the fudge. I spend a little too long licking around his mouth. When I finally pull away, I grin at him. ‘No.’

‘Want come home with me?’

I nod, and he bites his bottom lip, pressing a small ILY hand shape over my heart before moving to his car, his signs large when he tells me he’ll see me soon.

I clutch at my shirt, where that sign landed, and feel my chest swell.

Fuck yes.

I knew it.

He loves me.

This is gonna be a lot of work, a journey we’re both on, but it will be so fucking worth it.