Page 21 of Kiss-Fist (Deaf Hearts #1)
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THOM
Me: Whn can I see u agn?
I fiddle with my phone before shoving it into my pocket. I have fifteen minutes before I have to leave for campus, otherwise I’ll be late for my ASL class, and the teacher always makes you explain why you’re late when you arrive. And I had to do that once and got so nervous I almost threw up.
He explained that it was a cultural thing. That Deaf people like information. I get it, but I don’t wanna do that again. I’ve only been in the class for two weeks, and I don’t want to be the “bad” student all over again.
The gym is crowded today, and I don’t expect to see Robbie because he has a job and a life outside of me, but damn, I want to kiss him again. I haven’t seen him since I left his apartment a couple of weeks ago. We just got too busy.
And maybe I’m avoiding him a little. I still haven’t told Dex the double date is a bad idea and still haven’t mentioned it to Robbie. I just need to remember to not be busy doing other things to him when I finally get the time.
Like kissing him and touching him.
We probably won’t do much talking, to be honest. That’s been kind of our thing since we started this…affair? Feels weird to call it that, but what else could it be? We’re still no strings. We haven’t defined anything, and Robbie hasn’t given me any indication he wants more than hooking up.
Shit, I really have to figure this out. I should ask him on a real date. Something romantic. Something a Deaf person would like. Something that doesn’t involve us taking all our clothes off the second we’re in each other’s presence.
“Hey, you’re not leaving, are you?”
I spin at the sound of my brother’s voice. Dex is walking toward me, dripping with sweat from his spin class. There’s a very short woman following behind with very long, dark hair and tawny brown skin. She’s not sweating nearly as much as he is.
“I have a class at four.”
The woman’s eyes brighten. “Oh! Are you at the university?”
I flush. I hate that it embarrasses me still that I never did go to a four-year university. I barely made it through my associate’s degree, and that was with the massive amount of help the disability services office gave me.
“My brother’s not a scholar,” Dex says with a snort. I wince, and he realizes his fuckup. “Hey, no. I didn’t mean it like that. He’s taking a language class at the community college, but he already finished his degree.”
It’s a nice attempt at a save, and I don’t hold it against him. It’s a sore spot, but he’s not wrong. I’m not a scholar.
The woman sticks out her hand. “Oh, that’s awesome. I’m Aminah.” Her palm is a little rougher than I expected. Not as bad as those muscly badass women who have made P90X their entire personality, but she definitely lifts.
“Thom.”
“This is who I was telling you about,” Dex says, wagging his eyebrows at me.
Oh. Oh shit . I need to say something. “Yeah, about that?—”
“Dex told me about the double date,” she says, and shit, she sounds excited. She bounces on the balls of her feet. “Your boyfriend sounds adorable.”
Adorable is not a word I’d use for Robbie.
I mean, yeah, he can be, but I think words like sexy and hot as fuck work better.
And he’s not my boyfriend, but I can’t exactly tell them that he’s just some guy I’ve fucked around with for the last month and a half—and that I’d like to fuck around with more. A lot more.
So much more.
“Uh. Thom?” Dex says.
Whoops. I realize I missed whatever Aminah just said. “Sorry. ADHD brain,” I say, tapping my temple. I tend to lose track of conversations and get in my head, even when my meds are at full capacity. “I’m about to be late, but about that date?—”
“Yes, that’s what I wanted to tell you. My sister owns this restaurant up on Fifth Avenue. Bubbles and Bliss?” Aminah said excitedly .
I’ve heard of it. Swanky as fuck and impossible to get into.
“I called her when Dex told me about the date, and she got us a table for next Saturday at seven, if that sounds good to you?” Aminah’s eyes are bright, and oh god, Dex looks smitten. He’s staring at her with literal hearts in his eyes.
I can’t ruin this.
I don’t want to be the one responsible for their demise.
“I still need to talk to Robbie,” I say. My voice comes out all hoarse and weak. “But I’ll let you know as soon as I can.”
“Great,” she says. She sways forward and grips my arm. “I’m really looking forward to getting to know you and your boyfriend.”
My boyfriend. I wish.
And damn it, I like her. I have a good sense of people, and I can tell she’s amazing.
I don’t want to let my brother down. He’s one of the only people in my family who stuck up for me when I came out.
He was also the only one who had any faith in me when I said I wanted to open a gym and become a business owner.
When I told my parents, they laughed and asked how I expected to run anything when I couldn’t remember to feed myself half the time.
Dex had gone off, and neither of us has spoken to them since.
I have to support him as best I can, and if that means talking to Robbie and maybe ruining this good thing we have because, once again, my mouth moved faster than my rational brain, so be it.
Clapping him on the shoulder, I say nothing because I refuse to trust my mouth right now, and I hurry to my office to slip into something a little more classroom appropriate. Snagging my backpack, I head for the door and decide that, at the very least, I’m going to ask my teacher for advice.
Denver was more than welcoming when I first started class, and Leaf had been right: he went out of his way to accommodate me and my pesky dyslexia as soon as I explained my issues with reading.
He uses PowerPoint to give his lessons, and he uses a font that’s kind to my brain, which is something none of my other professors had ever done.
And he never hesitates to check in with me after class to make sure I understand it all.
I feel seen with him, which is something I’m not used to.
So, if I can talk to anyone about this issue, it’s him. I don’t think he’ll make me feel bad for my serious Deaf culture faux pas, even if Robbie might still throw me to the curb for it.
And in all honesty, Denver is also the only one who’s going to give me a rational solution.
I’d call Leaf again, but the dude is clearly losing it—stuck in a groundhog-induced mania, and I don’t know that I trust him to tell me what to do right now.
He’d probably suggest buying TNT and blowing the restaurant up.
I don’t think Robbie would appreciate that any more than he would appreciate me dragging him to a fancy restaurant full of hearing people.
The one thing I appreciate about Denver is that he’s so engaging, it’s easy to forget about my problems for the hour-and- forty-five-minute class. Except then it’s over, and suddenly, the real world comes crashing back.
It’s a little weird to be on campus knowing I’m only two buildings away from where Robbie’s office is. I’ve never been, but I couldn’t help myself from looking it up on my first day. He’s in with other humanities teachers, and since I’m only taking ASL, I have no reason to be over in that building.
Except for today.
Technically, I could wait until I see him at the gym. Or I could also be a freaking grown-up and text him. Instead, I’m going to break my promise about bothering him at his place of work and show up in his doorway.
Because that’ll go over well.
But he did tell me he’s working tonight, so I know he’s there, and really, I’d like to explain face-to-face in a place I won’t be tempted to do anything sexual.
At least, I hope so. Our track record at my own place of business kind of counts against us. But I’m going to try, at least, once I get some decent advice on how to bring it up with Robbie without setting this whole thing on fire.
I linger at the table in the front of the room as the rest of the students file out. My Adderall is starting to wear off, which means I’m starting to feel restless. It’s hard to sit still as my brain begins to adjust to not being chemically lassoed into place.
My feet tap on the floor, unable to stop moving as I hum along to a little melodic pattern I make up. It’s not so bad when I’m not disturbing people, but me being me, I immediately knock a collection of papers onto the floor, then dive down to gather them up.
Denver peers around his computer, lifting a single brow at me, making him look a little bit like Spock. He’s got the black hair to match, though not a bowl cut. He’s got the hot teacher vibes going on with those thick arms and button-up, short-sleeved plaid shirt.
The only thing missing is a bow tie.
God, I need to control my head. Focus, Thom. Focus!
“Haha. Sorry. Just cleaning this mess up.”
“You okay?” he says aloud.
He doesn’t often speak to me unless it’s to explain instructions that I’m just not getting. He only used his voice in class once to introduce himself, and then it was voices off after that.
But apparently, the rule only lasts until class is over, I guess. Or, I don’t know. I bet it’s different with every teacher. Or maybe he’s just being nice because clearly, I’m having a bit of a day.
I spread my hand into a five and then tap my thumb to my chest. ‘I’m fine.’
He can probably tell that’s a lie with the way he lifts his other eyebrow. ‘Talk to me,’ he signs. He beckons me over to his desk, and I climb to my feet as he picks up a small black flip case and pulls out his set of cochlear implants.
They’ve got some kind of sticker on the sides, but I can’t make out what they are before he tucks them behind his ears and then attaches the round piece to the magnets under his skin. He blinks rapidly for a moment, then clears his throat .
“You can be voice-on for this if you want,” he tells me. “Just make sure you’re looking at me when you speak.”