Page 17

SEVENTEEN

giovanni

B reakfast the next morning is a miserable affair.

Santino has refused to come down as long as Zina is here, and the table is quiet as Zina and I sit alone. He’s been furious with me for the last few days, angry that I’m questioning everyone but her.

I told Santino that her time would come, but in the back of my mind I don’t think interrogation would work on her if she was hiding something. She’s too smart. Too sharp. I’d have to peel the skin from her body before she gave me the information I was chasing - and it’s not something I’m willing to do.

Last night I told her I wanted to give her a chance. A real chance. I want to trust her. I want to trust her. Desperately.

I really do. I have every intention of trying.

I’m just not certain it’s going to be possible.

Zina’s eyes keep drifting towards me. She looks miserable.

She drops her fork, tired of pushing the scrambled egg around her plate.

“Why is everyone so hell bent on accusing me?” She blurts out and I notice the tears glittering in her eyes as her defensive fall away.

“Zina - “ I mutter in surprise. “They don’t all think it’s you - “

“But they do, Giovanni. Even you do. Last night you told me you’d give me a chance - but what does that mean at the end of the day - it means you’ve doubted me since the moment I walked in. You’ve been holding back and not trusting me. Why? What did I do that was so bad?”

I shake my head, the urge to comfort her floods me. I reach out and pull her into my arms, onto my lap.

“I want your sons to trust me too. Santino despises me, Romeo won’t even look at me. Dante is the only one who speaks to me.” She buries her face against my shoulder as tears soak into my shirt.

“Zina, I’m so sorry.” I sigh, realizing how much she’s been holding back in her attempt to be strong.

Santino walks into breakfast, to my surprise, and I stiffen. Zina senses the shift in my body language and turns to see him.

“Santino, did you come to join us?” I ask.

Zina stands up, moving off my lap, her mouth set tightly as she takes her seat again.

“I was going to try - but this is a fucking shit show.” He snaps.

“Come on, man.” I snap too. “Just sit down and have some fucking breakfast.”

“Are you two a couple now?” he throws the accusation at me, his eyes boring into me like drills.

“Sit down.” I insist. “Where is Romeo? Breakfast is getting cold.”

“ Are you two a couple ?” he shouts.

I glance at Zina, her eyes are tight on me as well.

“No.” I answer quietly.

“You could’ve fooled me.” Santino snaps angrily and storms from the room.

Tears spill from Zina’s eyes as she watches me, silent and hurt.

She stands up.

“Zina - “ I call her name, but she ignores me, walking out of the dining room just as Dante and Guido arrive.

“Mom?” Guido says, looking at his mother with concern.

“It’s ok, man, give her some space.” I sigh, gesturing for both of them to sit down.

My appetite is gone, but I force myself to eat, trying to create a normal environment for the two sons that have decided to join me.

When they get up and leave I lean back in my seat and groan loudly in frustration. What the fuck is going on in this house? Everything is falling apart.

“Giovanni?” Fabio sticks his head in the dining room, leaning through the doorway. “Am I interrupting breakfast.”

I shrug with my hands high in the air, pulling my face tight and gesturing for him to look around. “What breakfast, no one is interested in breakfast anymore.” I huff.

He chuckles, a dry laugh with no genuine joy in it.

Fabio walks into the room and drags Santino’s chair out from under the table, sitting down he lets out a deep breath.

“What is it?” I ask, “Did you find something?”

“No. But I think we need to talk.”

When he looks at me his has that expression in his eyes that tells me I’m about to hear something I might not want to hear.

I clench my jaw and fold my arms over my chest.

Everyone else is pissed off with me - why wouldn’t Fabio be as well.

I nod my chin towards him. Go ahead.

He pulls his mouth tight, pressing his lips together and nodding too.

“It’s about the girl - Zina.” He sighs. “I think you’re unable to see clearly. Whatever she has over you - it’s clouding your judgment.”

“She doesn’t have anything over me, Fabio.” I say defensively.

“Whatever. I just think you aren’t seeing it for what it is.”

“Seeing what exactly?” I snap, losing my patience.

“Ever since she got here shit has been happening. It’s been a different place. Things are going wrong. Everyone is tense.”

I shake my head. “Everyone is tense since we lost Bella. It’s got nothing to do with Zina being here.” My words are thick as they fall from my lips.

Fabio raises his brow at me. I know that look.

“Fine.” I huff. “Obviously her being here has caused some issues, but she’s not dangerous, Fabio. She’s not behind the attacks.”

He tilts his head to the side and shrugs his broad shoulders. “I want to believe you, Gio, but I’m not as convinced as you are.”

“What am I supposed to do? She is the mother of my son.”

He shrugs again. “It’s your decision to make, but from where I’m sitting - that girls is going to be your downfall.”

He pushes back from the table and stands up.

Alone in the dining room again I fold my arms across my chest and lean my head back, closing my eyes.

Is everyone seeing something I’m not seeing.

No.

Not everyone. Dante likes her.

Romeo has no opinion except that of his older brother. I think he could go either direction.

Santino is the only one who is dead set against her - Santino and Fabio. Two options that I have always trusted.

And then there is me.

What do I think about her being here? What does my gut tell me about Zina and whether or not I can trust her?

The main problem with me is that I don’t know if my opinion is tainted by desire or not. Santino is convinced I’m being manipulated.

Fabio is convinced she poses some kind of threat to this family - to me.

I’m not so sure.

I don’t view her as being that dangerous. Not in that way anyway.

I see her as a danger to my heart.

She clouds my thinking.

So I can admit it.

Huffing I stand up, not wanting to analyze this anymore.

The moment I get close to believing she is the threat they accuse her of being - that’s when I have to tell her to leave.

I don’t want that.

I’m not ready for that and I don’t think I’ll ever be.

I walked away from her once, sixteen years ago, and every day after that, even though I denied it - I hated myself for it. I regretted the choice.

I won’t do it again.

It’s late, and the house is quiet when I walk up to my room.

Zina is lying in bed reading a book she found in the library. She ignores me when I stand next to the bed, peeling my clothes away.

“I’m going to shower. Do you want to join me?” I ask, my body already burning at the thought.

She shakes her head.

Disappointment breezes through me.

“Are you alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She says coldly.

I narrow my eyes at her and watch her expression.

She’s angry. She’s been angry since breakfast.

The shower beats hot water into my aching muscles, slowly massaging some of the tension out of them. I hang my head forward, letting the pressurized flow wash over me.

When I climb out I feel a lot better. Drying off I think of ways to soften her anger and my lips curl into a smile.

When I walk back into the room wearing only my sweatpants, my hair still wet from the shower, she looks up and desire floods her expression. It makes my heart race faster, but she looks away quickly.

The blankets move off her as I tug them, and she shoots me a warning look. “Stop that.”

“What?” I say innocently, as I slide beneath the covers.

“You know what.”

Reaching out I take her book from her hands and drop it off the side of the bed. She shoots me another glare, even more angry than before. The laughter that rumbles through me is genuine as I pull her into my arms. “Come on, stop this.” I whisper, wrapping my arms tightly around her.

She’s stiff against me.

This morning our conversation was interrupted by Santino and I have the feeling it’s what has made her so upset. I want to give her the chance to talk again now, while no one can walk in.

“You said this morning that you wanted people to trust you - you want my kids to accept you.”

She shakes her head, pushing her hands against my chest.

“Don’t worry. I understand it’s not possible.” She huffs.

“What do you mean?” I knot my brows, letting her slip from my arms.

“You’ve made your position clear.” She snaps, becoming more heated. “In fact - you couldn’t be more clear if you tried. You and I - “ She gestures between us, “Are not a thing. I will never be chosen by you. I will never be a priority. And every time one of your sons accuses me of something or gives you the opportunity to stand up for me in front of them - you won’t defend me or be on my side. I get it. Like I said - you made yourself clear. ”

My heart sinks. I understand now.

Santino asked me if there was something between Zina and I and I was quick to deny it. I publicly rejected her, pushing her aside and suggesting her worth to me.

Zina laughs coldly, then turns to face me.

“But - “ She says, smiling, and moving closer, tracing her fingers over my chest. “There are other ways I know I am wanted by you.”

The mischief in her eyes is blatant as she climbs onto my lap. My cock hardens instantly, but somewhere in my mind my thoughts are screaming at me that this is a test. If I say yes to this after I pushed her away this morning - there will be all hell to pay.

She rocks her hips against me, and I growl in desperation, spreading my hands over her waist and pushing her down onto me.

She moans sweetly, leaning forward to kiss me.

For a moment I’m lost in the kiss, forgetting that this is wrong, that I have to say no.

My fingers press into his flesh, clawing at her, pushing her harder against my cock.

A flash of anger bolts through me -

I throw her off me, onto the bed next to me and she squeals in fright.

“I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you, Zina. This isn’t all I want - “ I snarl darkly.

“Really? Well, apparently you don’t want this either - so why am I even here?” She hisses, hurt by this new rejection.

I shake my head and roll away from her, lying on my side with my jaw set tightly.

My heart is racing, and my blood is rushing through my head, making me dizzy with confusion.

What the fuck does she want from me?

Next to me I hear a soft sigh. The bed moves. Her hand touches my waist, then slowly wraps around me. She snuggles against my back.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers.

With a heavy sigh I thread my fingers through hers and pull her tighter against me. “Me too.” I reply, my voice low.

Rolling over to face her I pull ever up against me and she presses her lips into mine, kisses me slowly.

My cock grows hard, pushing into her and she moans, moving slowly, pulling my pants down to free it.

I wrap my hand around her thigh as she lies on her side next to me, pulling her leg up and around my waist while her other is on is straight down the bed.

My hand wraps around her ass cheek, my fingers dipping into her pussy and she gasps, making sweet little sounds for me.

I thrust upwards, my cock slipping inside her, my fingers still touching the opening of her pussy, so I feel my cock sliding past, pushing her open. I press my finger into her as well, and from inside her I feel my cock moving - the sensation is wildly sexy.

We make my love slowly, with deliberate, controlled movements, paying attention to everything happening between us.