Page 13

THIRTEEN

giovanni

A t dinner I keep glancing towards Zina. This afternoon I was harsh. I treated her like shit, and I didn’t mean to.

She looks exhausted, and I think it’s my fault.

The memory of Bella on our wedding day was more painful than I expected - it came out of nowhere.

And on top of it all - being with Zina again has reminded me of the guilt I felt back then. The guilt I felt for betraying my wife.

I study Zina’s face at the table next to me. Her eyes ad swollen from crying, red and raw.

I feel terrible.

She’s done her best to cover the shadows beneath them with make up - and I don’t think the boys have noticed anything. But I can see it.

Her demeanor has changed.

And I can feel her tension.

She’s too quiet. Her usual glow is faded and dull. She’s pushing the food around her plate, hardly touching it and making empty conversation with Guido .

Guido seems occupied with Dante though, he’s laughing and making jokes with him. I don’t think his mom has to worry about him right now.

I watch Zina as her eyes drift towards her son. When he laughs she smiles, relieved that he’s finally fitting in. I like the fact that the boys are starting to get along. Dante anyway - I don’t know about the other two.

Sensing my gaze on her she glances at me, but then quickly looks away and lets out a sharp breath. Her cheeks flush slightly, turning light pink. She’s embarrassed - or avoiding me.

Every fiber of my being wants to reach out and comfort her. I want to protect her from ever feeling pain. I want to take care of her and be the one who makes her smile.

Frustration swarms through me along with the guilt I’m already carrying. I’ve only just lost Bella and I’m already falling for the woman who almost took me away from my family before.

Did I ever stop loving Zina?

Yes.

No .

I stab my steak and cut at it aggressively with the serrated knife. Angry with myself because I know I never stopped loving her. In order to leave her I had to convinced myself I never loved her in the first place. Knowing it was a lie. Knowing it was impossible to let her go. I lied to myself and forced myself to believe I didn’t even like her. I convinced myself that she was a temptress. A muse. That she was dangerous and wicked.

I told myself it was her fault that I cheated on Bella.

But it was me. I made the moves. I made the promises.

I chased her until I could possess her in every way possible.

It was the most exquisite thing I’ve ever felt.

And then I left her.

I was cruel. I remember the day. It broke me in ways that changed me. But I had no choice.

I clench my jaw.

Being with Zina makes me feel powerful. She is the ideal feminine for me. And I think that’s what terrifies me the most.

It feels like a sin to admit that she was a better woman for me than my wife could ever have been.

My sweet, innocent, beautiful wife. I loved her dearly, but she never saw the real me. The version that I showed Zina.

A darker, more dangerous love. An enticing, exciting love.

After dinner when Romeo and Santino have left and Dante and Guido are still chatting away, Zina stands to clear the dishes.

“You can leave it. The cleaners will do it.” I say, confused.

“It’s ok. I just want something to do.” She mumbles.

“I’ll help.” Dante says cheerfully.

Zina and I both look at him in surprise.

“Oh.” She says, tilting her head to the side.

Dante gathers plates, stacking them together.

He hands Zina the cutlery so she can collect it in an empty dish. They work together and I see the smile on her lips growing wider.

“I used to help my mom with all sorts of things.” Dante says, chatting happily.

“Like what?” Zina asks, standing next to him.

“Like, I used to make her tea. She said no one else made tea like I did.”

“I love tea, but I’m super fussy about how it’s made.” She shrugs.

“I’ll make tea for you. You’ll see how good it is.” Dante grins.

I watch them as they leave the dining room carrying empty dishes and stacked plates. Still talking about random things.

My heart is tight with a strange sense of relief.

Dante is going to be ok.

He’s been the one struggling the most with his mom’s death - but for the first time the weight of his pain has eased, and I can smile. He’s going to be ok.

Now I need to get through to Santino and Romeo.

If they can give Zina and Guido a chance the tension in this household will ease away.

The dining room is empty, so I sit down again at the head of the table, with my hands resting on the dark wood.

Maybe I also need to give Zina a chance.

What if someone is watching her and it’s not just a story to distract me?

I would be furious with myself if something happened to her - something I could have stopped if I had just taken the time to listen.

I pull out my phone, messaging my head of security.

Me: Fabio, I want you to pull a report of who accessed the security cameras this past Thursday - between the hours of 2:30pm and 3:30pm. You can email me the data.

Fabio: Will do. Did something happen? Is there something I need to be aware of?

Me: Not at the moment. It’s just a precaution.

Standing up I make my way to the kitchen, following the sounds of laughter.

Dante, Zina and Guido are all in here, rummaging through the fridge and pulling out random ingredients.

“What’s going on?” I ask, leaning against the kitchen counter with my arms folded across my chest.

“Zina said she can make macaroons with strawberries and creams.” Dante says, holding up the punned of bright red strawberries. “Do you want some?”

“Uh. Sure.” I nod.

Santino walks in with Romeo close behind him. They stop and stare in confusion at this scene.

“What’s this?” Romeo snaps.

“We’re making desert.” Dante smiles.

Santino glares at him and Dante shrinks backwards. The smile wipes off his face and he shifts uncomfortably.

“You guys should join us.” I say to Santino, hating the effect he has on his youngest brother. Can’t he see Dante is happy. That he’s smiling for the first time in a really long time.

We all went through a lot, watching Bella suffer as the sickness got worse.

Santino shakes his head, still glaring at Dante. “I’m not a traitor.” He says quietly, aiming his words at Dante.

Romeo and Santino leave, and Dante looks beaten down.

“Hey.” I say, walking over to him. “Ignore them.”

“I try to - but they hardly speak to me anymore.” He says tightly.

“They are your brothers, they’ll come around.” He nods without conviction. “I mean it, D. They are still processing their grief in their own way. Let them work through it. You’ll see, it’ll be ok in the end.”

Zina hands Dante a cutting board while Guido searches through the cupboards for a bowl.

She smiles at Dante, talking quietly to him.

“Your dad’s right, D. Everyone processes things in different ways. You are braver than them, kinder - for how you’ve treated Guido . For giving him a chance. Honestly, thank you.” She reaches up and touches his cheek, her smile soft and warm. “It means a lot to me to know he is close to one of his brothers.”

Dante smiles, his cheeks stretching with pride.

“It’s kind of cool to have an extra brother. And to not be the youngest anymore.” He laughs.

“Well, he’s lucky to have you.” She grins, “Now are you going to help me slices strawberries or what?”

“Found one.” Guido says, setting a white bowl on the counter. “This should be big enough.”

It’s almost four in the morning, when I wake up with a fright, hearing someone knock on my door. Bolting upright in bed I try desperately to focus on the shadowed figure walking into my room, but I can’t see who it is. I’m tense, ready to defend myself.

“It’s me.” She whispers.

My heart races in a different way. Instead of fright, it’s turned to excitement.

Zina stands next to my bed in the dark.

“Did you need something?” I ask, my voice hoarse from sleep.

“I got a message that I think you should see. It came through earlier, but I was asleep. I saw it a few minutes ago?—”

She sounds nervous.

Throwing the blankets off I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and flicking the bedside light on.

Light spills over her tussled hair and her sleepy eyes. Her lips are pink and slightly swollen. She was sleeping too. Her face is rosy from it.

Fuck.

She really is gorgeous.

Her hand is stretched towards me with her phone in it.

I take it from her and squint at the brightness of her screen, groaning and scrunching my face.

“Oh, sorry.” She says, taking it back with a little giggle that makes my cock stir. She turns the brightness down, then hands the phone to me again.

It’s a message from a sender she has saved on her phone.

My heart clenches tightly in my chest when I read the name.

Emiliano Maritz.

Why the fuck would she be interacting with my biggest rival and enemy.

I look up, trying to read her expression.

She gestures towards the phone. “Did you read it?” She asks.

Emiliano: I understand your stay at the Rivas estate is not going as well as you’d hoped. I can offer you a better place to live. A more welcoming home. Just say the words and I will make the arrangements for you and your son. I told you before, Zina, I’m here for you - whatever you need.

There are no messages in the chat before or after this one.

“What is this about?” I say darkly. My trust in her slipping. “Why are you talking to this man?”

“I’m not. I didn’t even reply.” She says defensively. “I don’t even know how he knows I’m here.”

“I find that hard to believe. You have his number saved on your phone. He knows your name. He even made reference to the fact that you’ve spoken to him in the past. Don’t fucking lie to me Zina, it won’t go well go you.”

I stand up, agitated and confrontational.

She shakes her head and grabs her phone back in frustration, taking a step away from me.

“Why can’t you ever assume the best of me instead of the worst. Why in the world would I have shown you the message if I was trying to hide it from you?” She snaps.

“To feign innocence.” My eyes are locked onto her, watching her, every movement, every change in her expression.

“Explain how you know him.” I demand.

“I don’t actually know him. I’ve spoken to him once in the past. He approached me almost a year ago.”

“A year ago - alright - and what happened?”

“He told me he could help me. That he would give my son and me the life we deserve. He gave me his number and told me to call him.”

“And?”

“And I turned him down. Why would I believe him when I don’t even know him? He offered me money - and I turned that down too. I never called him.”

What she’s saying doesn’t add up. Why is my enemy talking to her? Why is she involved with him in any way?

I can’t push away the suspicion that she’s not telling me everything.

“Who is he?” She asks, her eyes narrowed towards me. “Why are you so angry that he’s offered to help me?”

“I think you already know who he is, Zina - that he’s my biggest rival in the mafia.”

Her lips part as though she’s shocked.

“I know he’s someone wealthy and powerful - but I didn’t know that .” She’s nervous now, knotting her brows and fidgeting with her phone. “Gio, please, you have to believe me. I have no involvement with him.”

Her discomfort piques my desire as I step closer to her.

“And why should I trust you?” I ask dangerously.

She looks up at me, her brown eyes flaked with gold, wide and pleading.

My eyes drift over her body, the short nightie, barely covering her ass.

My breathing gets heavier as I press closer against her.

My cock begins to stir, and she feels it, her lips pressing together.

“Gio.” She murmurs, barely a whisper.

“Do you know what will happen to you if I find out you’ve been lying to me?” I ask with a dangerous edge to my voice.

My cock grows harder as I imagine the ways I would punish her.

She takes a sharp breath, her lips parting.

I lean close, wrapping my hand around her jaw. My lips hover just inches away from hers.

She lets out a soft moan.

Somehow, from somewhere deep inside me, I snap to my senses and drop my hand away - stepping back in a hurry.

Zina seems to realize what was about to happen too and she turns her back on me, tugging her nightie down and trying to cover herself.

“I just wanted to show you - in case it was something important.” She stammers.

“Fine.” I say sharply.

“I’ll - um - I’ll see you in the morning.” She mutters, walking away from me.

I watch her leave my room and my cock aches, throbbing and pulsing. With a growl of frustration I climb back into bed, flicking the light off and refusing to acknowledge the effect she has on me.

I can’t trust myself around her. Even confronted with evidence that she might be involved with my biggest rival - I am still drawn to her. I’ll need to watch myself - and her. I was so easily distracted now, so quickly forgetting about the message in favor of her temptations.

My jaw clenches, my cheek against my pillow. Perhaps my son sees something that I don’t see. Maybe she is a master of manipulation and I am falling for it hook, line and sinker.