Page 63 of Kill for a Kiss

He doesn’t speak. He just watches me, the way he often does.

“But,” I continue, “you need to take care of yourself too.”

“I don’t sleep much.”

“I figured.”

He huffs a quiet breath, half a laugh. Then, with a glance at my tea I forgot was next to me, he says, “You should finish that.”

“I will,” I whisper.

But before I can reach for it, he’s already lifting the mug and bringing it to my lips. His eyes settle on my mouth.

I wonder if he’s ever imagined what it would feel like to have my lips against his. I know I have.

***

It’s around a late afternoon that my recent fever is completely gone. I can think clearly. I can breathe without trembling. I can feel myself smile genuinely, even when I’m remembering pieces of the past that involve the very man who’s been nursing me back to health.

He’s the masked man from moments that should be nightmares. But I’m not afraid. I trust myself. I trust him. And no one has ever treated me well the way he does. It would take more than memories to shake the trust I’ve built with him.

My heart knows him. Time has revealed that truth. I’ve watched him become tender when I needed it, hard-edged when I didn’t know I deserved protection. He’s both. And being close to him has taught me how easily those parts live inside the same man.

The heaviness in my body feels less like grief and more like gravity again. I can move now. Not only across the room, but toward something I want.

I walk over to him, smiling as I ask, “Can we go for a walk?” The words are gentle but certain, as if I’ve finally caught my breath.

Sterling looks up from where he’s sitting. Surprise is subtly written across his stunning face. Then the corners of his lips turn up, faint and impossible to look away from. He nods. “Yeah.”

I wrap my silk scarf tighter around me as I follow him to the door. But before I step out, I adjust the shirt I’ve been wearing. It’s Sterling’s. It hangs loose on me, the hem brushing my thighs, the sleeves dipping past my fingers. It smells like him.

We step into the crisp air, and the forest welcomes us with a hush. The scent of cedar and oak carries. Golden light filters through the canopy protecting us. The world feels slower out here. My thoughts quiet in the calm. My focus narrows to this moment, to him.

I take a deep breath, eyes closing for a moment as the wind lifts my hair. And when I open my eyes, I find him watching me.

He’s always watching. And I always look back to take in all thelittle beautiful details that shape him. He’s wearing all black, his jacket framing his broad shoulders. Our difference in height is more obvious when we’re standing side by side like this. He’s so much clearer under the daylight, with the haze out of my mind now.

All of my senses feel so much morealive, with Sterling at my side. I used to find it tethering to be drawn to the mundane. But now, every other detail can’t compare to the way Sterling holds my attention.

The memories still come, but they no longer pull me under. When they try, Sterling is there. His presence holds me steady when my mind threatens to spiral. And each time he anchors me, I feel a little more certain that I’m allowed to want something more than what I survived.

We walk for a little while, saying nothing. Leaves rustle, and the breeze picks up. The hem of his shirt brushes against the tops of my thighs, and every step feels like I’m moving further from the past and closer to a brighter future. One I’m looking forward to.

Even when I remember the mask, the cold silver of his eyes, the bodies, the way they looked when he left them behind. Even then, my heart reaches for him. Maybe he remembers too. Maybe we both carry the past in our quiet. But it doesn’t define him. And it doesn’t have to define me. Because Sterling came back. He didn’t have to, but he did. He risked everything to save me. That means something. I may not know exactly what it means for us yet, but I know this—I wouldn’t be standing here without him.

I turn to face him. My heart pounds against my ribs. “Sterling,” I say. “I don’t think I’d be standing here like this if it weren’t for you.”

His gaze deepens, storm gray eyes locked on mine. I let the words tumble, let my voice speak on its own, not minding at all if I spill my heart out. Sterling deserves to hear it.

“You made me see what I couldn’t. You pulled me out of a place I didn’t realize I was buried in. And you didn’t have to, but you stayedwhen I didn’t even know I needed someone to.”

He looks startled, like he doesn’t know what to do with my words. It makes me breathlessly chuckle before I continue.

“I never had to ask. You just gave. And now that my head’s clear, I know you were risking your life to reach me, to rescue me. And I wouldn’t have made it through this without you.”

For a moment, he stands there. But I watch the signs I’ve come to recognize. His eyes drop briefly before snapping back to mine. There’s a blush that spreads up to the tips of his ears.

He clears his throat like he’s trying to bury the moment. “It’s, uh…getting cold.”