Page 151 of Kill for a Kiss

Damon stands at my side, silent, grim but reliable. Stan is behind him. He bullied his way into being my second best man the second he realized Damon was already locked in. Across the aisle, Kaye stands proud in a deep garnet dress, her dark hair pinned. She’s Elle’s maid of honor. Of course she is. Nobody else could have been but myhalf-sister and my bride’s best friend.

The pews are sparsely filled for a wedding. A small mercy. In attendance, there’s some people from our bloodlines, some of their own guests too. But there are a few familiar faces. Lukas Knight. Naomi Knight. Kai Smith. They’re no longer hiding their polyamorous secret, one they’d kept tucked away from the world even before I was old enough to understand why I didn’t belong. Naomi is my mother, with her slight tan and curly hair Kaye and I inherited. Kai’s my father, who handed me his gray hair and eyes. Lukas, looking dark-eyed and distrusting, is whatever he’s always been to both of them.

The memory of last Halloween, months ago, briefly haunts my mind—the burning vineyard, the cliff, Clo screaming into the void. Lix dragging her down with him like an avenging spirit. Both of them pulled from the rocks, broken and bleeding. Clo, last I heard, is still deep in a coma. Lix too. But the doctors say he’s starting to show some signs now, starting to breathe a little better on his own.

I’m ripped out of my thoughts when the orchestra starts playing the first aching chords of the “Wedding March”. My heart jumps so hard it nearly punches through my ribs. I will my hands still. Clasp them in front of me.

I’ve stared down goddamn gun barrels, walked into trained men ready to kill me, and burned criminal empires to the ground. But I have never been this fucking terrified in my life.

The doors creak open—too slow, too fucking slow—and every second feels like a knife twisting sickeningly under my skin. There’s a violinist in the loft who’s a sixteenth-note behind the others. Son of a bitch. It scratches at my instincts, all wrong and out of rhythm, as painful as a scab I want to pick but can’t.

I want to fix it. Tighten the perimeter. Silence the whole damn orchestra until it plays right. But none of it matters. Not today.Because she’s here. She’s coming closer to the altar, where I’m waiting for her. Torturously waiting for her. I always will when I have to, even if it hurts.

Elle. She’s there, wearing white like a promise. Her long, brown hair tumbles around her shoulders in loose waves. Her delicate hands hold a humble bouquet of deep red roses. Her smile’s a little shaky but bright and so goddamn beautiful it knocks the air out of my lungs. My knees almost give out right there.

Stan mutters something low under his breath, but I barely hear it. Because she’s looking at me. Only at me. And today, her blue eyes are those deep brown that pulled me under years ago. She’s been using colored contact lenses lately. Says they make her feel more like her. I love her either way. The way she looks at me never changes. It always holds.

When she’s in front of me, everything else falls away. Every haunting memory. Every searing kiss. Every terrible thing I’ve ever been. Every good we’ve done since she changed my life. Since she changed me.

I can’t breathe. I don’t hear the music anymore. I only see her. She’s at my side, her dress sweeping over the marble, her eyes never leaving mine. I think I take a step forward with her. Only a small one. Maybe two. It doesn’t matter how we get there, only that we meet in the middle in front of the altar.

Her hand slips into mine, small and warm, grounding me more than anything else in this life ever has or ever will.

Lost in her eyes, I can barely hear the priest speak. I’m too busy trying to memorize the feel of her hand. The weight of her gaze. The curve of her smile.

The minutes tick by. Somehow, it’s already time for the vows.

I knew this moment was coming. I thought I was ready. I kept drilling the words into my skull like I usually would for any othercrucial recon for something as lethal as another mission. But I should’ve known this moment was more important—more vital to overprepare for than anything I’ve done as a killer. Because standing here and looking at Elle, everything I prepared for my wedding vows melts away with the tropical heat.Fuck.

But Elle notices the change in me immediately. She gives my hand a gentle squeeze and smiles up at me, as steady as she’s always been. It calms the thunder in my chest. How the hell did I ever live without her?

“I’ll go first,” she says, her voice lifting over the hush of the church. It’s a lifeline tossed across a canyon.

The priest nods with a knowing smile. Elle returns it with a kind one of her own before turning toward me, holding both my shaking hands in hers, the bouquet between us.

“I’ve been lost before,” she says, quiet but unwavering. “Lost in smoke, in silence, in places that didn’t want me. But you found me when I didn’t know I was even lost. You stood beside me just to hold me upright. And even through a raging fire, you burned alongside me just so you could lead me out of it, Sterling.”

My chest feels too tight, the breath locked in my throat. My hands won’t stop shaking. But I don’t care. I want to be in this moment with my bride, with my forever.

“I know what it’s like to be broken,” she continues, her voice trembling but she’s smiling so brightly it couldn’t compare to the sun. “I know what it’s like to think you’re too far gone and that maybe there’s no way out. But you showed me that being broken isn’t bad. It means we survived what would’ve killed us if we had stopped trying.”

She beams brighter at me. It’s like she’s glowing. The world spins. I know it does. But she’s all there is in this moment.

“I love you, Sterling,” she says. “Every part of you. Every silent moment where we never need words. Every edge in you that couldcut that you thought made you hard to hold. I’ll always welcome you in my arms. I’ll always accept you as you are.”

Her thumbs reach for my cheek. That’s when I realize a stray tear’s trailed down.

“I choose you, Sterling. It was always you.”

A heavy pause settles. The priest glances toward me. But Elle’s vows rewrote the words I thought I needed to say.

I lift her hands to my mouth and press a kiss to her knuckles.

“I love you, Elle,” I say. “Everything I’ve survived, you’re the reason I did.”

Her hands hold mine steady. Her eyes never leave mine.

“My vow’s simple,” I continue, finding my voice from her encouraging words. “I’ll be right by your side, wherever you want to go. I’ll follow you, into shadows, into light, into the cold, into fire.” I take a deep breath. “I will love you until the world ends, and forever even after that.”