Page 48 of Kicks

“You’re a natural,” Kim said.

This is family life, I suppose.

Billy found that he quite liked it.

“Hey, have you tried any of the new stock yet?” Kim continued.

Talk about an abrupt change in conversation.

“Erm…no.”

She beckoned him closer. “We tried that vibrating cock ring last night,” she whispered. “Fucking hell. If word gets out about that, we’re all going to be well in the money!”

“Good?” Billy asked.

“Amazing.”

“It wasn’t that bloody good,” Harry said.

Kim giggled. “Darling, it’s not like you vibrate. He got a bit threatened.”

“I did not.”

Suddenly, Cassius emitted a huge fart. Billy looked down to see his face all screwed up. Then the most unholy of smells came from him.

“Oh, shit,” Billy said.

“Exactly,” Kim replied. “Hand him over. We’ve been in that outfit precisely twenty-three minutes. That’s a personal best, Cassius. Yes, it is.”

She took hold of her son. Billy fought the urge to heave. How did such a small being create such an evil stench?

“Fuck me,” Billy said. “That was impressive.”

“You get used to it,” Harry said.

“I don’t think so.”

Thankfully, Kim had taken the little poop machine into the house for an immediate change.

“How did the match go?” Harry asked. “Crystal said she scored three goals.”

“She did,” Billy replied. “She’s really good. You should come down.”

Harry nodded. Crystal appeared to have cast off her teenage sulks and was building a sandcastle with Lennox, who whooped with delight as it got higher.

“She’s a good kid,” Harry said. “She’s the spitting image of her dad.”

Billy shuddered. He had noticed this more and more as she grew.

“Let’s hope it’s only on the surface.”

Harry squeezed his leg. “You’ve done a good job. I’m sorry that it fell to you.”

Billy choked up. “When Mum died, there was never any other choice.”

“Not everyone would.”

They sat in silence for a second. Billy had waited years to get that kind of recognition from Harry. It was nice.