Page 3 of Kicks

Eddie stood close to Charlotte. “What’s going on?”

“Brad here just made me the offer of my life,” Charlotte replied.

“Brad?”

“Oh fuck off, Mother Superior. Who the hell do you think you are?”

“What did you say?”

Brad tried to straighten himself up. “I told her to come and find me at The Grand. I’ve got a room.”

“That’s not exactly what you said, is it?” Charlotte cut in. “It was more along the lines to find you at midnight and if you haven’t pulled, you might fuck me.”

Brad laughed. “I was only joking. I’ll fuck you whatever.”

He leant toward Charlotte but Eddie shoved him away. “Don’t.”

The boat hit a wave. Brad careered backward and sat on Agnes from accounts’ knee. She let out a cry.

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie muttered.

He yanked Brad to his feet.

“For your information,” Charlotte said, “I wouldn’t sleep with you for money. There are plenty of things in the warehouse at work that can show me a better time than you, limp dick.”

She made a beeline for the other side of the boat.

“You are fucking disgusting,” Eddie said. “If I ever catch you speaking to a female like that again, I’ll kick your arse.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Brad slurred.

Eddie was already tired of this conversation. It was hard to reason with Brad at the best of times. Him being pissed on a boat made it impossible.

“Go to the bathroom and sober up,” he said. “Try not to fall asleep this time. I don’t need to see your penis again, thank you.”

“You wish,” Brad sneered.

“Come on.”

Eddie took Brad by the arm and scanned around for the toilet sign. It was in the cabin at the centre of the deck.

With gritted teeth, he pulled Brad along with him.

“Eddie!”

Tyler was shouting him from the front of the boat. Eddie stared over to see Scott hanging over the rail as Tyler held on to him.

“What now?” Eddie cried. “You. Toilet. Now.”

He gave Brad a shove in the right direction and scuttled off toward Tyler.

“Are you okay, Scott?”

Scott straightened up. He had sick all down his bright white T-shirt.

“No, I’m fucking not.”

The next morning, the three flatmates were lying on Scott’s huge super-king-sized bed. Scott had most of the attic as his bedroom. The rest was used as storage. An area where Tyler and Scott had suggested Eddie put his vast DVD collection that nearly filled one wall in the lounge.