Page 14

Frustrated and angry, I threw my bag on my kitchen counter, annoyed that I had to skip class to avoid my manufactured boy drama.

I knew walking into the lecture hall would be hard this morning; I didn’t expect to have both Erik and Matty watching the door, waiting for me to arrive with an empty seat next to them. I looked between the hockey player and the football player for a good minute before realizing just how uncomfortable pretending to be in love with Erik made me when the only person I wanted was Matty.

So, I did what anyone in my position would do. I said, “Fuck it” and left them to it. Granted, skipping class wouldn’t help my grades, but I didn’t care. I needed some time away from everyone.

After blowing out a breath, I called out my roommate’s name, waiting for her to respond, but got nothing. “Lydia, are you home?” I asked, and walked over to her door and gently knocked on it.

Still nothing. So, I pushed her door open slightly, thankful to see she was gone and I didn’t interrupt her having sex. Thank goodness. Often, I’d lay in bed, wondering what position they had her in to make her squeal like a pig so much and I was tired of her flaunting all the dick she got in my face. Every day there was a new shirtless guy walking around our kitchen, and I was okay with that. Some of them were fun to talk to. It only got awkward when they’d talk about taking her on dates, thinking she was interested in more, since I felt like she wanted me to be the bearer of bad news.

I wasn’t sure if Lydia had a knack for picking guys who could give her orgasms, but she never went without, and I couldn’t help but feel a little… jealous. I’d essentially forced celibacy on myself, and her active sex life was pointing out my lack of one.

I closed my eyes and blew out a breath. It had been so long since I’d felt so much pleasure that I could get out of my own head. The last time was in Vegas, and that memory wasn’t serving me well at the moment.

What I wouldn’t give for an orgasm right now.

Thoughts of that rose vibrator passed through my mind, making my center tingle. I brought it home after Sienna dropped it on my desk, as I had this innate fear she would pull it out when other people were around.

Would it hurt to give it a go? It would help me vent my frustrations, and I really wanted to relax.

I rubbed the back of my neck, doing my best to give myself a massage, but it did nothing. I needed something else. I needed a good fuck, like Sienna said.

Fuck it.

I was in that kind of mood today, and maybe an orgasm or two would help to take the edge off. I walked over to my room with purpose and locked the door behind me. Then I went straight into my closet and took the box out. Placing it on the bed, I sat cross-legged and stared at it.

Obnoxiously pink with foreign writing on the side, I wasn’t sure it was kosher, but it potentially held the key to all my pleasure. The real question was, did I have the courage to use it?

My fingers twitched, but they wouldn’t be enough today. They hadn’t been for a long time. I needed a quick fix, and if this worked as quickly as Sienna said it would, then I’d be in a good place.

Dancing my finger across the top of the box, I studied the picture for a second. A neon-pink rose-shaped toy with a thick stem stared back at me. Right in the center of the rose was something that resembled a tiny tongue, and I shivered just thinking about what that was for. I also noticed a Bluetooth sign, but I wouldn’t bother setting it up. I was terrible with technology, and all I wanted was to get off.

I plucked the toy out of the packaging and brought it closer to inspect it. The molded petals were beautiful and intricate, and I squealed when it unexpectedly started vibrating in my hand.

What the hell did I just push?

Gulping, I stared down at the toy, worried something else would come at me if I didn’t keep my eye on it. The center of the rose was flapping like a fish… or a tongue. I took a sharp breath and ignored the tingles that ran through my core. It wasn’t because I was afraid of using it; it was because it reminded me all too much of the man who went down on me last time.

Matty. Fuck, it felt so good when his tongue flicked across my clit. My body was reacting just thinking about it, which frustrated me to no end. Even when I was trying to relax, he was making it impossible to.

Suddenly the stem of the rose started pumping, and as the toy worked the air, it looked like it was doing everything right. I really did want to try it, but what if no man could ever match up to that feeling again?

Did I care at this point? Matty had already ruined me for any other guy, so why not let myself get ruined some more?

The toy was still flapping away, and I was still interested in what it could offer me, so I laid back on my bed and shimmied under my covers. Grabbing the rose, I brought it under and double-checked that the door was locked. Then I pushed my panties off, leaving them somewhere in my bed, and opened my legs.

Staring at the ceiling, the only noise in the room was the vibrating dildo, and I tried not to laugh. This was so weird, but I was desperate and needed to get my mind off everything. I sucked in a breath, calming myself down.

Checking the settings, I lowered the flapping tongue to what I would consider a more manageable rate but noted where the intensity button was in case I wanted to increase it at any point.

With my eyes closed, I opened my legs wider and brought it to my center, immediately jolting when it hit my sensitive skin.

“What the hell?”

I tossed it out of the covers, leaving it to vibrate somewhere on the bed, shocked that it felt like I was being electrocuted. Did people actually like that? I shook my head, staring at the toy with a curled lip. This was supposed to be fun and relaxing, and now I was frustrated and confused.

Maybe I should have read the instructions, but I didn’t have time. I wanted to feel better now, which meant I would have to take matters into my own hands.

Literally.

Lying back on the bed, I closed my eyes again and slid my hand down to my mound before slowly massaging my center, letting that warm, tingling feeling pool in my stomach. My fingers were nice. Much gentler than that toy, and as I faded more into the feeling of being aroused, it was easier to imagine someone else’s hands in my place.

Green eyes drifted into my imagination, and a soft smile drew on my lips as I remembered how it felt to thread my hands through his floppy brown hair while his tongue lapped against me. My back arched, aching for the same feeling I had when he stared at me while his mouth worked against my clit. Hungry and dark. He couldn’t get enough of me, and I had to bite down on my lip to stop myself from moaning.

Over and over, his tongue flicked away, like my fingers were doing now. Ever so quickly, I dipped my fingers into my center, took some of my wetness, and rubbed it across my clit in an attempt to make it feel more like a tongue. Matty’s tongue to be precise. It had been months since that happened, but the feeling of it was branded in my brain forever, and reliving it, even if it were a cheap imitation, felt good.

“Do you know how long I’ve waited to taste you?”

His words floated through my mind, making me more aroused. My fingers didn’t stop moving, and my hips bucked at a rapid pace. I still wanted him. I still wanted to know what it would feel like to have him sliding inside me, taking me in every way possible while he whispered nasty things in my ear.

“Are you going to come for me like a good girl?”

I couldn’t hold back. Thoughts of his cock rubbing against my slick folds made me cry out in pleasure.

“That’s it, B. I want you to come for me.”

My hips were moving faster, and my heels dug into the bed as my orgasm got closer.

“You’re so fucking hot when you’re like this, Britt. Wide open and waiting.”

That was it. It was all I needed to think about to fall into eternal bliss. Waves of pleasure crashed through my body as bright- white light flashed across my vision. I couldn’t speak or move, but it was the most relaxed I’d felt in a long time.

So good.

It had been so long since I’d allowed myself to come, mainly because I refused to imagine Matty, but I’d allow myself this one time.

As I huffed out a tired breath, I smiled. My hips fell to the mattress, and with my fingers still inside me, I lay there staring at the ceiling. Tired and exhausted but in a complete blurry haze.

“Britt? Britt?”

Matty’s voice was still in my head. Saying my name over and over again, like an endless taunt. I’d never have him like this again, but maybe imagining him here wouldn’t be a bad way to live out the rest of my life.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Britt, is everything okay?”

My eyes popped open, and I immediately drew my fingers away, cringing.

“Matty?” I croaked out. This had to be a nightmare. What was he doing here in the middle of the day?

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“What are you doing here?” My voice was a little more stable, but I was too frozen in shock to move.

“Yeah, uh, I saw you leave class and wanted to check on you. Thought you were sick.”

Oh my God.

He was out there, and this wasn’t just a nightmare.

Wait a minute. Had he… Had he heard me? Did he know what I was doing in here? While thinking about him?

He jiggled the door handle, which made me jump into action. My heart was beating wildly. I was sweaty, partially naked, and still aroused. The door was still locked, thank God, but I bolted out of the bed and threw on my champagne-colored satin bathrobe. I might have still had my T-shirt on, but since I was naked from the waist down, this would have to do.

I rushed over to the door, then cracked it open. His green eyes bore into me as a lopsided smile pulled on his lips. Those lips. So big and kissable. I had to stop myself from licking mine.

“Hey, Matty, how’s it going?” I was trying to be cool and calm, but inside, I was screaming with embarrassment.

Matty’s Wildcat T-shirt hugged him in all the right places. He had the tiniest bit of stubble across his chin, and his hair was mussed. I inwardly cursed, as my body was heating, ready for a round with him instead of my hand.

“How are you feeling?” His words finally registered enough that I could answer.

“Um. Fine?”

“You sure? You don’t have to lie to me. Remember last year when you ate that bad sushi, I was there holding your hair back. It didn’t bother me. I’m here for all the gruesome details.”

I cringed. Why the hell did he have to remind me of that?

“The things you said that night were pretty interesting too…”

I rolled my eyes. It was something he always teased me about, knowing that the only thing I could remember from that night was Matty sitting right beside me with his back against the tub, ready to help me in any way he could.

“Why are you here?”

I poked my head out farther but didn’t dare to reveal the rest of me. Matty would know what I was doing just by looking at me.

He stepped back and pointed to the kitchen. “I brought you some soup and crackers from that deli you like.”

Sure enough, the bag from Covey’s Delicious Deli was sitting next to my keys. I’d worked up quite an appetite masturbating, and my stomach rumbled thinking about the food, but again, not something I wanted to openly talk about right now.

“Wait, how did you get in?”

He looked at me sheepishly. “Well, I knocked, and I was going to go, but I had all that food, and I didn’t want it to go to waste, so I figured I could just stick it in the fridge for you, so I used the key you gave me last year in case of emergencies.”

“Oh, uh, okay.”

“Then when I got in, I figured I’d just check on you.”

I took in a sharp breath. My mind was still racing, wondering if he had heard anything.

His eyes widened, and he stepped back. “I’m sorry. I’m interrupting something. I shouldn’t have come. It’s just you left without your boyfriend, so I thought you were alone.”

“I am,” I said, then quickly pressed my lips together.

“So why didn’t you answer your phone?”

Because I was too busy masturbating over you.

“Oh, wait. Don’t answer that. It’s not like you were answering my calls and texts before today anyway,” he joked.

Swallowing down that thought, I closed my eyes, trying to come up with a plausible explanation for skipping class so Matty would leave me to wallow in my embarrassment.

“Yeah, it’s nothing. I just had a headache, and I thought a shower might help it.” I opened the door a little wider, and Matty’s eyes immediately homed in on the opening of the bathrobe. Oh, shit. I forgot I was naked under it.

Bang!

Like that, Lydia threw open the apartment door, flinging some guy against it as she kissed the living shit out of him. I couldn’t see his face but knew he was new because she’d never brought home a redhead before.

On a regular day I would have spent a few moments contemplating the rarity of a redheaded man, but Matty was still staring at me, and we couldn’t talk with them making out against the door.

“Umm. How about you come in here?” I offered, and Matty smiled with a nod.

As he walked past me, I reminded myself that this meant nothing. I was inviting him into my room so I could get him to leave. Lydia and her redheaded hero would be done out there any minute. I was sure of it.

I shivered as Matty walked past, then quickly shut the door, leaving my roommate to do whatever the hell she wanted to out there, meaning the soup was being sacrificed for the greater good.

With his hands in his pockets, Matty stood in my room, surveying it as though this was the first time he’d ever been here. It wasn’t. We’d spent plenty of time studying when Hayden was making dinners for Adam, but right now, having him in here made the room feel a lot smaller. His presence was overbearing in this tiny space, and I wondered if that was why I couldn’t get him off my mind.

Turning to me, he pointed at the chair tucked under my vanity. “Mind if I take a seat?”

As he sat, I heard a low buzz, which sounded a lot like a fly. Weird. I didn’t have any windows open today.

Fuck!

The vibrator. Had I turned that thing off? I subtly looked over at my bed and had to stop myself from gasping in horror when I saw it vibrating like a fish on the top of the covers. The worst part about it, the curved stem extension was also going off and revealing what looked to be a leafy dick.

Oh my God.

I’d never live this down. If there were questions over what I was doing before he walked in, they were well and truly answered now.

Fuck.

I quickly glanced at Matty who seemingly hadn’t taken his eyes off me. Maybe he hadn’t noticed the vibrating foliage yet. I had to take my chance and turn it off before he did. Shuffling over to my bed, I threw my comforter across the mattress, covering the toy and masking most of the noise coming from it.

It wasn’t enough. I couldn’t relax until I knew it was off, but how was I going to do that without him noticing? Coughing loudly, I moved the bed sheets, looking for the thick object, and when I found it, I sat on it, and smiled at Matty.

Okay, that wasn’t the smartest thing to do. Vibrations were moving through my body like waves, and with Matty opposite me, looking at me with his deep, dark glare. I was getting aroused. Not good timing.

I coughed a little more and jiggled my butt, aiming for the side of the rose that I knew had the off button.

Come on. Come on.

Matty’s brows furrowed, and yeah, I looked a little strange wiggling on my bed, but I hoped the coughing was enough to distract him. When the vibrations suddenly stopped, I relaxed.

Finally!

“Everything okay?” he asked, and I nodded profusely but took his question as a sign that he hadn’t seen my vibrator.

“Yup, everything is fine.”

“Cool.” He nodded, then pointed to my bathroom. “So did you want to take that shower?”

“Uh.” I looked between Matty and the shower. My mouth went dry. The idea of showering with him after everything was a little forward, considering he was just asking me about my supposed boyfriend.

Then he pointed to my legs, reminding me I was in a partial state of undress.

“For your headache. You said you needed a shower. Go take one, and I’ll wait here.”

Why was my mind always thinking up new ways that Matty and I could have sex? It needed to stop and get a grip.

“Or you could go. I’m sure Lydia and her guy have moved whatever they were doing to her bedroom now.”

“You sure you’re feeling okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“But you look a little paler than usual and your cheeks are really flushed.” Was he taunting me? It kind of felt like it. “I think it’s best I stay here until you’ve at least taken the shower. Don’t want you to have a medical emergency while you’re in there and no one is here to help you out.”

“Umm, okay.” He was giving me no choice, so the best thing I could do was take that shower as quickly as possible. “I’ll, uh, be right out.” I tried to hide the nervousness in my voice, but I was terrible at it. I’d gotten off to thinking about him and had no idea if he knew about it or not, and now I was getting naked in the shower while he sat in my room.

“No problem.”

When I shut the bathroom door, I made sure it was locked and leaned against the wood. What was wrong with me? Matty was driving me crazy, and I had no idea how to fix it without admitting that I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

After turning the water to the coldest setting possible, I stepped into the shower and took the quickest one of my life, unwilling to leave Matty out there long enough to find my vibrator.

Why hadn’t I taken it into the bathroom with me?

“Shit.”

I wrapped the towel around my chest, acutely aware that I’d left all my clothes in my bedroom, which meant I would have to go out there and face Matty in a towel.

What was with my luck today?

I peeked my head through the door, giving Matty a timid smile. “Me again,” I said, almost jokingly, and slipped into the room. Matty’s gaze dropped to the white fluffy towel wrapped around my chest.

“Wow.” His eyes dragged down my body, and he gulped.

Ignoring his comment, I shuffled past him and pointed at my closet, refusing to give him eye contact. The walk felt like an eternity under his glare, but I tried to pretend I wasn’t bothered by it.

“I just forgot my clothes.”

“No problem,” Matty replied. When I got to my dresser, I pulled out a bra and panties before heading to my closet and thumbing through my clothes.

“Is that your dress for the Players’ Ball?”

My hand stopped on a hanger, and I looked over my shoulder to Matty, whose sole attention was on the purple dress with the high slit hanging over my bedroom door.

The Players’ Ball. I’d almost forgotten about that and what a potential mess it could be with Erik and Matty both there. Not only was my attendance mandatory, but I’d have to interview Matty as part of the Marketing packet.

“Uh, yeah. They told me I needed to wear Covey purple but finding a gown that shade is harder than you’d think. I’m not sure the slit’s appropriate.”

“Who gives a fuck? That slit will show off your athletic legs, but I get it, you’ll be by far the hottest woman there. Although, I warn you, it doesn’t matter what you wear, that will always be the case.”

I pursed my lips and turned back to my closet, then pulled out a T-shirt and jeans. I didn’t want him to notice I was blushing. Hearing compliments from Matty would never get old, but I wished I didn’t blush like it was the first time I’d ever heard nice things said about me before.

“Are you going with Steele?”

Pftt. Am I going with Steele? This lie had blown up in my face so badly.

“Umm. Not sure.”

Was that the right thing to say? Should I have said I was going with Erik? Maybe that would have made Matty back off, but what if Erik had a date already?

“How can you not be sure? I thought you guys were dating?”

I turned to go back to the bathroom. “We are.” I cleared my throat. “But we’re still in the casual phase, you know?”

Was I still talking? The more I talked, the bigger this lie got.

“Right. Well, if it’s just casual between the two of you, then I’d like to take you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, things between us are far less casual, don’t you think?”

My brows drew together, and I shook my head. “I don’t think Erik would like that.”

“Do you think I care? I’m talking about me and you and everything that happened in Vegas.”

“There is no me and you.”

“You’d have to be stupid or not paying attention to think that.”

Holding the towel and clothes to my chest, I decided to end this by saying, “Matty. We’ve talked about this already. I don’t have time to keep going over the same thing. I’m going to change.”

When I walked past him, I expected him to try to stop me, but he didn’t. He just sat there. Once in the bathroom, I threw my clothes on as fast as possible. Then I brushed out the knots in my wet hair before stepping back into the room.

Matty was sitting in the same spot but this time, was on his phone looking at something. I breezed past him to open my bedroom door and check that Lydia had moved her antics to the bedroom. She was gone, and when I turned to Matty, his gaze was still glued to his screen.

“Doing anything interesting?” I asked, trying to subtly look.

He shook his head before tucking his phone in his jeans pocket. “Just trying to program something, but it can wait.”

He leaned back against his chair and folded his arms. Then his eyes dragged across my body, taking me in. I was dressed, but the move still sent a shiver up my spine.

“Can I ask you something, B?”

Why did that question make me focus so much on his lips? So perfectly bowed.

“Yeah,” I drawled out, not thinking straight.

“How serious are you and Erik?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s just, you said you were with him before Vegas, and now you’re sitting with him in classes, going to games. It all sounds like you’re dating, but I don’t know. When I’ve actually seen you together, something feels off.”

“Off?”

“Yeah, I mean, if I was him, I’d be making it very clear that you were my date for the Players’ Ball.”

The hairs on the back of my neck stood, but I tried to shake off the nerves. He was catching on to my lie, and I didn’t like it.

“Well, we’re very much on.”

Staring at each other, Matty raised a brow. “If that’s the case, then why are you skipping class and using that time to get yourself off with a heavy-duty vibrator?”

I froze, and Matty’s face stayed serious.

“Wh—”

He raised his hand. “I mean, seriously, B. If he can’t get you off, and you’re running home to do it yourself, then he’s clearly not the right guy for you.”

“I wasn’t doing that.”

“Right. So the vibrator in your bed just happened to turn on when I walked in?”

I closed my eyes and huffed out an annoyed breath. “That’s not something you and I should be talking about.”

“Why not? Honestly, your pleasure feels like it should be my priority at this point, don’t you think?”

I took a sharp breath and said the words that I’d been repeating in my head since Vegas. “We’re just friends, Matty. We always have been.”

“Mm-hm. Things started to feel a little more than friendly to me when my tongue was inside you. I thought you might feel the same way, considering I came down the back of your throat.”

“That was one night.”

“Was it? Pretty sure the intention was forever.” He raised his brows. “At least it was for me.”

Stunned. He’d stunned me into silence. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to say something like that.

“I tell you what, though. If we were still together and I found you using a vibrator instead of asking me for help, I’d be insulted. But then I’d remind myself that toys are my friends, and we can work together to bring you hours upon hours of pleasure. Would you like that, Britt?”

“Matty.”

“Have you ever tried using a vibrator while getting fucked?”

I swallowed. The Matty from Vegas was back. Dirty talking and making my panties wet. It seemed it didn’t matter who was in his way. I was in his sights, and he wouldn’t stop until I gave in.

“I’d love to try it on you sometime. Just think about how much fun it would be. My cock inside you while the vibration on your clit gets more intense. Maybe we could drop it around the other side. Get a little double pen—”

“Get out,” I said, my voice low.

Matty was silent for a second, then he cooled and tried to speak. “Britt.”

“No. I don’t want to talk about this. I’m not sick, and it’s none of your business what I was doing in the privacy of my own room.” I closed my eyes, unwilling to look at him. “Please just give me some space.”

There was a beat of silence between us until he stood from the chair. He brushed my arm as he walked past me, and I hated that my body immediately reacted to him, wanting to pull him closer.

“This isn’t over, Britt. I’m going to get you back.” The phrase sent a chill up my spine. “You’re mine.”

With that, the door shut, and I was left with wet hair and wet panties.

Well, what a great start to the day.