Page 11

Was it normal to have such a visceral reaction to a girl in a hat? My gut was churning, my jaw was clenched, and I was doing everything in my power to stop myself from running over to Britt to ask what the hell she was doing.

Erik Steele?!

Well, that wasn’t on my bingo card for the year. When Tanner suggested we come to support our fellow athletes, I thought it would be a good way to get my mind off my situation with Britt. But that went out the window the minute I saw Erik banging the plexiglass to get my girl’s attention.

She was here watching another guy, and I cursed myself for being so na?ve in thinking that her new roommate was referring to her brothers when she mentioned other athletes coming over.

The worst part about tonight was that she smiled at Erik when he knocked on the glass. The known campus flirt, who had more bed buddies than I had hair on my head. Funny, he wasn’t the type of guy I ever thought she’d be drawn to, but that could be because I assumed she would end up with me, not some cocky hockey player.

Didn’t she realize she was mine? It seemed Britt was confused about our relationship status, and I couldn’t blame her. Were we lovers? Friends? Strangers? I needed to make it clear, as I was tiptoeing my way into stalking while I thought about all the ways I could kidnap her so no hockey player could ever see her again as she chose her order at the concession stand.

Her chin tipped up as she focused on the menu, and I had no doubt she was contemplating getting the Crushie Slushie—a drink the Crushers were known for. She loved anything sweet, which probably explained why her pussy tasted like candy.

I clenched my fists, stopping myself from wondering if Erik knew how she tasted too.

Fuck this.

I was always trying to be the good guy. The one who stayed with his girlfriend even though she treated him like shit. The one who tried to help his dad even though he checked out of helping himself when my mom died. Being the good guy had gotten me here. Pissed off and alone, waiting for Britt to tell me what the fuck was going on. Not anymore. I’d let our relationship fester for too long. We needed to talk, and we needed to talk right now.

Cutting a few people in the line, I made it clear I was with the blonde bombshell nearing the front, and as I stood next to her, she was so lost in the menu—or her own thoughts—that she didn’t notice me.

Well, it was high time she started paying attention.

I bent forward and said, “It’s grape flavored. I think you’ll like it.”

Britt jumped and clutched her chest. “Matty?” she said breathlessly. God, why did her surprised reaction have to look so similar to her orgasm face? Honestly, with her lips slightly parted and perfectly lined, I couldn’t stop thinking about how good it felt to have those wrapped around my cock, and it was proving highly inconvenient.

Her shoulders relaxed and her breathing calmed as she took me in.

“Hey Britt. Long time, no see.” I threw her a lopsided smile, following her lead and taking her in. Honestly, if I wasn’t trying to charm her, I’d want to rip that Covey Crushers jersey off her. Not only had she forgotten our relationship status, but she’d seemingly forgotten her loyalty to the Covey Wildcats.

Her lips pressed together but quirked at the edges as she looked everywhere but at me. Her nerves were showing, and I’d never felt more friend zoned in my life.

“Yeah,” she squeaked out, stepping closer to the cashier. She wasn’t quite in front, but she seemed desperate to move things along. “When was the last time we saw each other?” Her voice was shaky and frankly, I was pissed off she’d asked that.

“The wedding.”

“Oh yeah, how could I forget?” She was lying, I knew it because I knew her . Her left eye always twitched when she lied. Sometimes it felt like I knew her and her idiosyncrasies better than I knew myself.

“Not sure, because sitting naked in between your thighs with my face glistening from tasting you is burned in my memory forever.”

One sharp breath and a little squeak later, Britt had stepped closer to the counter, but she couldn’t get rid of me. I’d stunned her into silence, and that was okay, as I still had more things to say.

“What are you doing at a Crushers game? Our entire friendship you’ve always talked about how you’re a football girl, and yet, here you are, wearing a Crushers jersey.” One that made her look hot as fuck, but I’d keep that to myself for now.

“Yeah, well, things change.”

“That they do.”

Two months hadn’t changed how beautiful she was or that I was in love with her. So desperately that I was annoyed she wasn’t running into my arms because she felt the same way.

“I’ve been trying to call.”

Why the hell did I say that?

She crinkled her nose “Oh, have you?” Her voice was three octaves higher than usual and her eye twitched again. Well, that was disappointing. What the hell wasn’t she telling me?

“Yeah. Have you changed your number or something?”

“Nope,” she stated, taking another step forward and smiling at the people around us.

Fuck them.

Her attention should be solely on me.

I pressed my lips together and nodded. “So, you’re just ignoring me, then?” I couldn’t be bothered to pretend I wasn’t upset with her anymore. It felt like we were talking in riddles, and I needed to be honest. “After the wedding, you didn’t think it was probably important that we talk?”

She shut her eyes and let out an uneasy mewl. That was when I saw it. Regret. It was sprawled all over her face.

“N-no, of course not. I’m here because Sienna needed an assistant, and I get credit for it. In terms of everything else, well, it’s senior year and I’m really busy with everything. Did you hear I’m head broadcaster for the football season?”

I held back a sarcastic laugh. She couldn’t be serious right now. Did I hear? Of course I’d heard. If Britt was a major at this school, I would be valedictorian.

“I kind of figured I’d speak to you at one of the games since we’ve both been busy doing our own thing.”

“Busy? Yeah. You looked a little busy out there.”

I clenched my jaw, waiting for any tiny reaction from her. I was a glutton for punishment, and a sick part of me wanted her to admit she was seeing Erik. At least then I wouldn’t be driving myself crazy wondering about it.

“What are you talking about?”

I shook my head, huffing out a laugh, hating that she couldn’t be honest with me. I was being rejected by my best friend, and she was doing everything she could to pretend that Vegas didn’t happen.

“Sorry for the wait. What would you like?” The cashier broke the tension between us, but I couldn’t stop glaring at my best friend. When she didn’t speak, I took the lead.

Slipping my hand around her hip, I drew her to my side and smiled at the cashier. “We’ll have two large Crushie slushies please and a jumbo hotdog with all the fixings.”

Surprisingly, Britt didn’t move out of my hold. Good. That was where she belonged, even if she was refusing to admit it. The cashier tapped the register before working on our order, and when he turned and it was just us, Britt refused to look at me.

“You didn’t have to buy that for me, you know?” Her voice was so meek I almost didn’t hear it over all the other people. She still didn’t move away from me. I wondered if she felt the same need to be close as I did.

“Why wouldn’t I? What’s mine is yours. Always.”

Those words made her flick her gaze in my direction and gave me enough confidence to lean down so our breaths were mingling. We were mere inches away from kissing, but I wouldn’t make the first move no matter how much I wanted to.

She licked her lips as she glanced at mine. She remembered what happened at the wedding; she was just refusing to admit this burning tension between us.

When the cashier dropped a couple of drinks onto the tray, I threw a wad of cash onto the counter without taking my eyes off Britt. How could I? She was breathtaking.

“Here you go.”

“Oh, wow, I need to check the other registers to see if we have change.”

“Keep it.” Again, I hadn’t taken my eyes off Britt. I knew I’d thrown down a one hundred dollar bill since it was all I carried, but getting to the bottom of what was happening between Britt and me was more important. “It’s your tip for getting the order to us quickly.”

“Sure thing,” he said excitedly, and as he got the hot dog, I squeezed Britt’s side, urging her to do what we both wanted.

When the tray was pushed in our direction, Britt broke my gaze and pulled away from me before mumbling out a small “Thank you.” Then she took the drink, wrapped her lips around the extra-large straw, and sipped.

Was the girl trying to kill me?

“It’s delicious,” she murmured.

“It sure is.” I wasn’t referring to the drink, and I was sure she knew it. She said nothing else and kept slurping that slushy, and I couldn’t help but watch her. I had so many questions but knew she’d evade every single one if I tried asking.

This was shit.

The awkward tension. The secrets. This wasn’t who Britt and me were.

“Britt, can w—”

“Excuse me? Are you done? The next period is about to start, and I don’t want to miss a goal because you’re staring at each other like you’ve never seen the opposite sex before.”

Britt turned to the annoyed woman behind us and gave her that beautifully fake smile of hers. “I’m sorry. You’re right. We are done. See you soon, Matty.”

Turning on her heel, Britt started walking away, but she was wrong if she thought she could leave things like this. Grabbing the hot dog and the slushy, I followed behind her.

“Britt!” I called, catching up to her. She slowed, and I walked beside her. My seat was on the other side of the arena, but this conversation was more important than watching a bunch of guys hit a puck with their sticks. “I think it’s important that we talk about everything that happened in Vegas.”

“Vegas?”

“The wedding?” Why on earth was she acting like she couldn’t remember anything? Was she suffering from a mild case of amnesia?

“Oh, yeah. Well, neither one of us were really thinking that night, and I guess we were running on high emotions, so I think we should put it down to the old saying ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.’ Nothing really counts there. I’m good, if you are?”

“No. I’m not good. Britt, I—”

I couldn’t finish my sentence because the “Imperial March” from Star Wars blared out of my phone. She didn’t need to ask who was calling, she knew it was Olana, and honestly, I’d had it up to here with my ex’s constant badgering.

Flat-lipped, Britt flicked her gaze to my pocket, then back to me. “If you need to get that, I understand.”

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. “That’s the thing. You really don’t.”

“No. No. I do. You’re still with Olana. What happened in Vegas was just a fun time. It’s not like it meant anything. You and Olana were having an off day. You’re made for each other. I was just standing in the way, and now, I’m backing off.”

Made for each other? Was she insane? Because I certainly would be if I was to ever go back to Olana.

“I’m not with her.”

“Matty, it’s fine. You don’t need to spare my feelings. I knew the situation I was walking into.”

“I’m not. I’m really not with her. She’s just—”

“I know,” she yelled with her free hand raised and her eyes shut. She was doing everything she could to make it impossible to speak. “I spoke to her.”

“What? When?”

Britt looked at the ceiling. “It was a while ago, but look, we don’t need to talk about anything. I get it. There’s a lot going on. Things between the two of you are complicated, but I’m sure you’ll work it out. You always do.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about? What did she tell you?”

“Enough to know that she needs you right now.”

I clamped my lips shut because I didn’t know how to respond to that. Had Olana told her everything? Was this another bid to try to keep Britt away from me? Olana might have thought she had me on the hook, but her pregnancy didn’t mean a damn thing when it came to Britt and me.

I shook my head. She’d gotten this all wrong. “Britt, how do you not see? It doesn’t matter where Olana or any other girl is on this planet, nothing stops me from constantly thinking about you.”

She stepped back, and I could admit, I was probably coming on a little strong, but what did I have to lose? Pressing her lips together, she closed her eyes and raised her hand.

“I’m seeing someone, Matty.” Her voice was shaky, but I heard the strong conviction behind her words.

Had my heart stopped beating? She really was seeing someone. Yes, I might have come over here with all that bravado, expecting her to tell me, but deep down, I didn’t think it was true.

“Are you dating Steele?” I asked it before I could think logically about whether it would do me any good knowing.

Britt’s nose scrunched in that cute way it did when she was trying to hide something. That was all the confirmation I needed. She was trying to let me down gently, hoping I still had Olana to fall back on because she was already over that one night.

Unfortunately for me, that night would be etched in my memory forever since it was the last time I remembered feeling truly happy.

“Yes.” Her shoulders slumped, and her head dropped. Not the reaction I’d expect from someone in a happy relationship.

“When?”

“Uh, I met him before the wedding in Vegas, then things only progressed when I saw him again a few weeks ago.”

“ Before Vegas?” I croaked out in surprise. She spent that night with me while she was starting something up with another guy? What about all those promises? How come she’d never mentioned him to me before? She told me everything, and she talked about guys she was interested in all the time. Erik Steele never came up.

Fuck, I wanted to punch a wall, but the damn hot dog and slushy were getting in my way.

“Ye-yeah. But like we said before, Vegas was a heat of the moment kind of thing. We’d both been drinking and weren’t thinking straight.”

“I was thinking perfectly fine, thank you.”

“Yeah, well, still, I think we were both just caught up in the moment.”

Wow. There I was thinking she was my endgame, and apparently, to her, I was just second string.

“Right.” I nodded, doing my best not to show what a crushing blow that was. She had a boyfriend, and it wasn’t me. She didn’t want it to be me either. “Well, are you happy?”

“Yeah,” she drawled out, and I wasn’t entirely convinced, but who was I to say anything? She didn’t want me. That much was clear now.

“Then I’m happy for you.” And devastated for me. This couldn’t be the end for us, but I was playing the long game when it came to Britt. We’d done this dance many times and I was patient. She might’ve believed she was happy right now, but I’d prove her wrong.

“Really?” she asked, surprised.

“Yeah.”

Then things went quiet, and it was awkward all over again.

“Thanks, Matty.” She looked over her shoulder, then pointed with her thumb. “I, uh, better get back in there. Sienna will kill me if I’m not ready when the second period starts.”

Close-lipped, I nodded. “I’m sure Steele would want to see you out there too.”

I did when I was out on the field. She had no idea how much comfort she brought me when I was playing. After warm-ups, I’d sit on the bench trying to calm my anxiety, and she was the one that was down there, sitting beside me, offering me a supportive smile.

“Yeah.” She swallowed, looking at something over my shoulder. I didn’t bother to find out what. It wasn’t like it mattered anymore. Nothing did. What was the damn point of anything if the only person I was building this world for didn’t want it?

“Guess I’ll see you around, then?”

“I hope so.” Her cheeks were flustered, her eyes were dark, and when she moved in to hug me, I stepped back, bringing the slushy and hot dog to my chest to block her. I didn’t want a pity hug.

She looked down at my full hands and nodded.

“Bye, Matty.” She waved, then I watched her walk away until she disappeared into the crowd.

Shaking my head, I turned on my heel, ready to get back to my seat, but stopped when I noticed the line of guys waiting for peanuts watching me with pity.

This was why I hated having conversations with people in public. Everybody could hear.

“Tough break, man,” one of them said as I walked past, and I appreciated the camaraderie, but I would have preferred to have my heart ripped out of me in private.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, receiving consolatory slaps on the shoulder.

The fully dressed hot dog had gone cold, and the slushy was melting in my hand. One hundred dollars spent on that. I had no appetite and hated sweet shit. Unless it was Britt’s pussy, of course.

By the time I got back to my seat, Jackson was frowning. “What happened to my hotdog?”

His eyes darted between my hand and face. Then I realized I’d squeezed the thing so hard it was a mangled mess in my hand.

“It was all they had left, so I got you this too.” I shoved the sticky drink in his hand along with the hot dog, and even though he huffed, it didn’t stop him from accepting it.

Slurping the slushy, Jackson elbowed me in the side once I was sitting. “Do you think Coach is going to hammer me for having so much sugar before our practice tomorrow?”

“It’ll wear off before then,” Tanner said from the other side while watching the players come back onto the ice.

I, however, was too busy watching what was going on off the ice. As Britt took weary glances around the rink, I knew she had no idea where I was sitting.

Was it bad to hope that her boyfriend would get a black eye or worse, break his leg so he was out for the rest of the season? Yeah, apparently, I was a petty bastard like that.

The mascot started talking to her, and my body relaxed when she smiled. I hadn’t seen her smile since Vegas, but a little bubble of jealousy built in my stomach. I wanted to be the one making her laugh, not some overstuffed fake polar bear.

Erik skated past her, knocking the plexiglass with his glove to get her attention. She rewarded him with a wave, and I was thankful the game started. That scene combined with the sugary slushy smell beside me was making me nauseous.

“Wow, you’re still staring at her? Even after you broke her heart?” Jackson asked.

I didn’t answer. What could I say? Everyone knew I was in love with her. I pushed out an angry breath, hating that it was true. I was in love with Britt. Always had been, but since I’d put her on the sidelines for so long, this seemed like a fitting punishment.

I was too caught up in my own grief and turmoil, berated by my ex, that I never saw Britt standing in front of me. Waiting for me, no less.

That was about to change. The only thing Britt would soon see was me.

Despite playing, Erik knocked on the glass again but didn’t stay to see Britt’s reaction since the referee called him out on it.

I saw it, though. Britt barely smiled this time. The only reason I knew she was playing it cool was because Sienna was vibrating with excitement next to her.

“Hold up. Is she dating Steele?” Jackson asked in surprise.

I clenched my jaw, not wanting to answer and trying to think of any other reason they’d be so flirty, but I came up short. Britt sat next to Erik in class, he was showboating to her right now. Hell, she told me they were seeing each other, so there was no way to play it off like anything else.

“Yup,” I muttered, and Jackson leaned back into his chair.

“Tough break.” He clapped my shoulder as he took a bite of my one-hundred-dollar hot dog. “I know you think she’s the one, but there are plenty of other girls that would want to have their way with you.”

“I don’t want them.”

Jackson sucked in a sharp breath, and when I said nothing, he took a swig of his drink, making that obnoxious slurping noise. Then he wrapped his arms around Tanner and me.

“You know what, boys? We haven’t celebrated our new roommate status since we got here. Let’s go out tonight.”

“What are you talking about? We’re already out,” Tanner stated.

“Yeah, but the game’s almost done, so we might as well go to Covey’s Cantina and have a little fun before the start of our season.”

“I’m good. I’ve got stuff to do at home,” I stated. What the fuck did I have to celebrate? That I was lonely and fucked up the one thing that mattered.

“Jackson’s right. Thea’s still there.” Tanner sighed, looking at me with sympathy. “She mentioned that we needed to be out of the apartment for a few hours so she could do a few things.”

Jackson screwed his face. “What on earth is she doing in our living room, because if she’s having an orgy, I will never forgive her for not being invited?”

Tanner rolled his eyes and shook his head. “She’s tanning.”

“As in fake tanning?”

Tanner shrugged. “Yeah. I think she took your polar bear comment to heart.”

Jackson huffed out a breath. “When is she going to get her own place?”

“Soon. Once I can find a room for her, she’ll be out, but until then, I think we should let her have this. Otherwise, she’s going to be in a terrible mood, and I really don’t want to have to deal with that.”

Jackson rolled his head to look at me. “What do you say, Mathieson? Covey Cantinas or risk seeing Thea naked and semibasted.”

“Jackson!” Tanner warned, but as usual, he didn’t heed it. He kept looking at me with a grin stretched across his face.

“Fine.” I pretended to focus on the game so the guys wouldn’t ask more questions about Britt, but really, she was all I could think about.

Maybe we weren’t supposed to be each other’s endgame. Maybe she was better off with someone else. Maybe it was time to face the facts.

Britt was over me.

Too bad I’d never get over her.