Page 25 of Karma (Deranged Drifters MC #23)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Griffin’s Beach Zane

“ R emind me why you didn’t want to eat at Theresa’s house again,” Anne says as she places their dinner plates in the sink.

“Her family is vegan. I’m cool with vegetarians, but I can’t get behind not eating cheese. Power to them for their conviction, but breakfast is about all I can handle,” Margaret says as she brings the last of the glasses to the counter.

Zane chuckles as he watches Anne taking charge in the kitchen like she belongs there. She spends every night she isn’t working with them and makes dinner. It’s become very comfortable to have her here.

“Vegan?” Zane asks. “What the fuck is that?”

“No animal or animal product,” she says. “Cheese comes from milk which comes from a cow, so it’s a no-go. No butter or eggs, either.”

His eyebrows lift as he thinks about everything he eats. Everything has an animal or animal product in it. “What the hell do they eat, then?”

“Cardboard, Dad. That’s what it tastes like. Salted cardboard. And don’t get me started on vegan butter. No thanks.”

Anne laughs as Margaret grabs her bag and stops in the doorway before taking off. “Got everything?”

“Yeah. Anne? Thank you for making dinner.”

She smiles brightly. “You’re very welcome.”

“You never thank me when I make dinner,” Zane says.

“Because you’re only good at takeout. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but the truth hurts sometimes.”

His jaw drops. “Um, excuse me? I’m excellent at making breakfast for dinner.”

“Which we had for an entire week straight because you burned everything else,” she says, adjusting the bag on her shoulder. “If I didn’t already have an eating disorder, that may have pushed me towards one.”

The humor disappears from Zane, and he glances at Anne who looks equally uncomfortable. He’s made it a point to watch how much Margaret eats, and he makes sure she doesn’t end up in the bathroom after meals. “That’s not funny, kid.”

“Come on, it’s a little funny,” she says. “If I can’t joke about it, it’s just sad. Lex would have laughed with me.”

If he hadn’t helped play a role in everything, maybe he could find humor like she does.

“Sorry to eat and run, but I have to meet Theresa at her house before seven. Her parents think being out past that time means you’re destined to become a drug user and a hooker,” Margaret says.

“And no, I’m not exaggerating. That girl’s going to be pregnant her first year of college. Mark my words.”

Anne snorts with laugher, and Margaret kisses them both on the cheek before leaving. She still looks just like her mother, but she has much more of an eclectic and alternative style. Lots of plaid and band tees.

“I swear, she’s more mature than I am,” Zane says.

“She’s got a good head on her shoulders,” Anne says with a smile. “Lane did a good job with her.”

The comment should hurt his feelings. Six months ago, it probably would have destroyed him, but he told her how much of the parenting fell on his wife’s shoulders. He’s learning on his feet, but he knows most of how Margaret turned out has to do with her mother, not him.

Zane stands and wraps his arms around Anne’s waist, kissing her neck as she leans back against his chest. “The dishes can wait.”

“Are you sure?”

Turning her to face him, he kisses her. “You’ve been amazing. And we have the house to ourselves tonight.”

“Do you want me to stay over?”

He nods and kisses her again before lifting her into his arms. They decided once she met Margaret to take their physical relationship back a few steps.

When he stayed at her old place, they were pretty active. Every time they had sex, though, he felt guilty. Like someone punched him in the stomach afterwards, but he needed the connection with someone. The comfort he craved, but couldn’t find after Lane got sick.

He hasn’t had sex since he moved back home, and he aches for her. At night, he dreams about her touch. Her body on his as they find their mutual releases. He finally feels ready to step forward again.

“Oh, you want to do more than just sleep,” she whispers when he thrusts his jeans-clad erection against her in the bedroom.

They strip naked, each article of clothing coming off slowly and sensually, and she guides him to lie on the bed. She stands on the floor while his legs dangle over the edge, and she bends down to take him into her mouth.

It feels good. So good. She lowers herself to her knees, and he tries to focus on her mouth wrapped around his cock. But he makes the mistake of turning and looking at the pillow. Lane’s pillow.

The mattress has been replaced, but it’s still Lane’s side of the bed he rests on. The last spot she was before she passed away. He’s lying on the bedspread she picked out, and he’s letting a woman suck him in the bedroom he shared with his wife.

“Zane, what’s wrong?” Anne asks.

He looks down to find his dick limp in her hand, and he brings his hands up to his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Talk to me. I thought this was what you wanted.”

“I did. I do. It’s just…” He sighs and drops his hand to point at Lane’s pillow. “This was her spot. We’re on her bedding. It just feels… It doesn’t feel right.”

Resting her hands on his thighs, she gives him a sad smile. “And you feel like you’re betraying her?”

“I know I’m not. She told me she wants me to move on. Wrote it down, even, but it doesn’t change the memories. It doesn’t feel right to do this in the bedroom we shared. I’m sorry, Anne.”

“I understand.”

“I’m glad one of us does,” Zane says. The disappointment overwhelms him, and he feels like a lesser man. He’s never had an issue performing before. “I need to figure out how to get past this.”

She caresses his thigh, and it’s more of a comforting touch than sensual. He appreciates it as she smiles at him. “It’ll take some time. She was the most important part of your life for so long.”

“I want to make love to you. I want us to fall asleep together in bed and wake up together in the morning. I just don’t know how to do this.”

Taking his hand, Anne pulls him up and leads him out to the couch in the living room. She wraps a blanket around them as they lay down to cuddle. “It’s not just your bed or your bedroom. You shared both with the love of your life. I’d be concerned if you didn’t have any issues with it.”

“You’re too damn understanding,” he says. “God, I really wanted this.”

“We can watch a movie or something. This is oddly comfortable. Laying here, together, without clothes on. I might need to hang out naked in my apartment more often.”

He tilts his head down to kiss her. It’s meant to be quick and grateful, but the moment their lips part, he needs more. And she doesn’t hesitate to give him what he needs. His tongue caressing hers brings his dick back to life.

“Apparently, the living room isn’t off-limits,” he mutters into her ear as he slips his hand between them and toys between her thighs.

“I feel like a teenager fooling around because my parents are gone,” she says with a giggle before it turns into a moan when he finds her pleasure point. “It’s been difficult not making love to you, Zane.”

“You like what I do?”

Her moan is the only response, and he slips further down to slide two fingers inside her. She’s hot, wet, and more than ready. And when her hand strokes his cock, he has to admit that he feels like a teenager again, too.

“I don’t think I’ll last too long,” he admits, his thumb rubbing her clit as he finger fucks her. “I need you to come for me, just in case.”

She has no qualms with him working her body over, and he dips his head down to take her nipple into his mouth.

Their first night together, he was pleasantly surprised to learn she likes things on the rougher side.

“Zane,” she pants and cups the back of his head while she rolls her hips on his hand. “I’m close.”

He doesn’t relent, and she falls apart on his hand, her hips bucking wildly as she cries out. The spasms force him to release her nipple, and he smirks at her happy smile as her eyelids flutter.

“Wow, I haven’t had a manual orgasm from a man in a while,” she says between gasps of breath. “So much better than when I do it myself.”

“You do it often?”

Pushing him onto his back, she swings her leg over his hip and eases down onto him. “I told you that it’s been difficult not having you.”

The feeling of her heat sliding on his cock makes Zane’s eyes roll to the back of his head. He’d been wrapped every other time they’d been together, but after learning she can’t have kids, they don’t need it for birth control.

Lane said she couldn’t have kids, either. And then we had Margaret.

While that may have been the past, it’s different. Anne had to have the necessary organs for conceiving and carrying a child removed. The thought momentarily saddens him, which works in his favor because his encroaching orgasm backs away.

With his age, and the age gap between a new baby and Margaret, Zane realizes he doesn’t need to have another child. What upsets him is how great of a mom Anne would be. She deserves the chance to be one.

“Focus on me,” Anne whispers as she rides him. “Getting in your head is what causes the problem.”

Smiling, he reaches up and plays with her tits. “Don’t think we have to worry about me going limp like earlier.”

“Yeah?”

“You look so damn hot,” he says, loving how her large tits spill over his hands.

The lean build he’s attracted to usually means a small chest, and he suspected it to be true for her because of how little she moved running around the hospital.

Her tight bras to hold everything in tight are deceiving, and the first time he saw her naked, with her phenomenal rack, he about came before she touched him.

“You feel so good, Zane,” she moans. “I never have a problem getting off on your cock.”

Anne’s not a dirty talker by nature, but she knows what she likes during the deed. He smirks, loving the compliment, and thrusts his hips to hit deep inside her.

“You’re so wet.”

“I’m so horny,” she mutters with a giggle. “Oh, yes, yes!”

Her pussy clenches around him, and he stills her hips as he takes over. He thrusts hard and fast up into her while she gasps and claws his shoulders.

“Zane!” she cries out and shudders.

He doesn’t stop until he’s spent and fills her with his own release. “Anne!”

It’s still strange calling out another woman’s name, but he smiles when she collapses onto his chest. He wraps his arms around her, and they both pant in the afterglow.

The first time having sex in the house since Lane passed doesn’t feel as terrible as he thought it would. He believed it would be soul-crushing with guilt, but for the first time, he feels no guilt. In a way, it feels like Lane watched over them.

Rather than feel creeped out or disgusted at the thought, Zane smiles and feels strangely comforted. Hell, Lane probably laughed at his bedroom issue, but that room is still sacred. It’s the room he shared with Lane for more than a decade. It’ll always be theirs.

Well, fuck, what do I do now?