Page 53

K age

“Brothers forever,” Maddox stated as he shifted his gaze from my eyes to Stone’s. The three of us had developed a tight bond, often referring to ourselves as the three musketeers.

With his arm out, his hand fisted, he was waiting for a response.

Stone was the first to thump his fist on Maddox’s, giving a harrumphing sound as he did.

There was no reason for me to hesitate. In SEAL Team Six, I’d found my people, a reason to live and friendships that would last a lifetime.

Both men glared at me, waiting for my response.

I finally grinned. “Hoorah!” As soon as I pounded my fist on top, both men burst into laughter.

“He’s always gotta be the dramatic one,” Maddox said.

Stone rolled his eyes and grabbed his bottle of beer. “A toast.”

“What the fuck are we celebrating?” I snagged the bottle, giving Stone a harsh look.

He shrugged. “How about to women, fast cars, and an endless supply of tacos?”

Both Maddox and I groaned. Stone would die with a taco in his stomach. “That’ll do,” I said and Maddox instantly offered a mischievous smile. The man was deadly as fuck, yet the kind of guy who could create a joke out of the worst circumstances.

He didn’t have a bad bone in his body.

Good for him. I had several.

As we all took a swig of our drinks, I reminisced about everything we’d gone through together, the brutal missions and months away from home.

We’d had each other’s backs. We’d commiserated over Navy rations and the oppressive heat.

We’d laughed at stupid jokes and told stories over and over again to reduce the monotony and loneliness.

We’ve never forgotten the importance of trust and loyalty. To each other. To our commander and to our entire unit.

Soldiers through and through.

Men of honor.

And above all, friends.

The memory hit me harder than any had before. There should be no reason other than that I couldn’t stop lamenting over the past, including the recent one.

I glanced at the mountains, realizing I hadn’t paid any attention to them since the snow had begun. They were majestic, the view taking my breath away.

Which is exactly what had happened when Juliette had looked at them, when I’d taken her to the lake all those months before.

Another storm had brought a few inches of snow on top of the six we’d had a few days before. Winter had taken hold, another storm predicted to bring rougher weather at the end of the week. The setting was beautiful, but fuck if I wasn’t lonely.

I absently rubbed my ring finger, the first time I’d done so in years.

Tank snorted from beside me, shaking violently from his romp in the snow. He loved the fluffy white stuff, but me? Not so much.

“Hey, buddy. Watch yourself.” I laughed and took a gulp of coffee.

I’d started the morning early. And with a hangover, but the horses were used to the morning routine.

With the manager of the facility taking a couple of well-deserved days off, I’d stepped up to master the art of feeding and exercising.

Another reminder I needed to get back to my daily exercise routine.

The chill was bitter, but the horses had enjoyed the crisp air.

The early morning light with shades of pink and peach crisscrossing the sky had created a perfect backdrop for the few pictures I’d taken.

Who knew iPhones packed a powerful punch when it came to capturing moments forever frozen in time.

Listen to me waxing philosophical.

“Let’s get inside, buddy. I got a few more chores left before the end of the day.” They included cleaning and organizing my house. I’d let it go to shit in the months since Juliette had left.

After closing the door, I turned up my nose at the mess. Somehow, I didn’t have the energy I needed. Just like usual.

I headed into the kitchen, the coffee no longer wanted. After grabbing a beer, I snatched my phone and headed to the library. At least I could make myself useful by posting a couple of pictures to my less than stellar Instagram file.

As I sat down, I suddenly remembered in my buzzed state, I’d commented on a picture I’d noticed on Juliette’s profile.

Of yours truly.

I’d been floored. I’d cringed. I’d almost demanded she take it down. Instead, I’d made a comment like the idiot I was.

That wouldn’t happen again. The last thing I wanted was for her to figure out the idiot commenting. She’d think she had a stalker. I was many things, including the asshole she’d insisted I’d become, but a stalker was off my list of proclivities.

Ignoring the pinging electricity from doing nothing more than thinking about her, I posted a few of the photographs from the morning, selecting my favorite for the profile pic.

Sadie. At least it wasn’t a picture of my aging mug.

I added a few words about what we did at the sanctuary and groaned.

Nope. I would never win a Pulitzer for my creative writing skills, but the photos weren’t half bad.

One managed to capture the mountains in the background.

Satisfied, I clicked out of the program. Before the end of the business day, I also needed to arrange for some deliveries. Maybe afterward I’d check on Jarvis’ grant idea.

As I picked up my phone, a series of visions flashed in front of my mind.

The rolling images of one dark night were as soul stealing as they always were, but as I closed my eyes, I relived the truth.

Not the nightmare I’d tried to force myself to believe.

As I took the phone into my hand, I shifted my gaze toward Tank, which I’d found myself doing every time I had a tough decision to make. Who could have known that the chocolate-eyed tennis ball demon would become such an important creature in my life.

Right now, he offered a doleful look, but also one similar to the look Jarvis had given me. “Don’t look at me that way. I’m warning you. I’m your dad.”

He didn’t make a single sound, but his tail thumped rapidly.

Maybe he was right. I was a chicken shit.

Before I lost my nerve, I dialed the number. I was ready to hang up when a voice sounded on the other end of the phone.

The slight hesitation was as difficult as knowing what to say.

So I just started and hoped for the best.

“Maddox. It’s Kage.”

Juliette

“Do you mind if I take a picture of your dog?” I asked.

The woman looked at me, immediately fearful.

I would be too if I was approached by a strange woman holding a camera, interrupting my peaceful dog walk.

Her dog, a gorgeous black lab, pulled on his leash, trying to get to me.

His tail was wagging, his big brown eyes as soulful as I remembered with Tank. Why did I keep doing this to myself?

“Well, I guess.” She was skeptical as hell.

“I promise. Just a couple.” I hunkered down and the dog broke free, lunging toward me.

Just like Tank used to do.

The woman immediately reacted, calling his name while I started giggling. He was huge, knocking me straight on my butt. “Oh, you are so adorable!”

“Bonzo. Heel. Come here, boy. Don’t do that to the nice lady.”

Bonzo licked my face, his big tongue slickening my skin. My neck. My arms. My camera. But I didn’t care, enjoying the moment where I could laugh without hesitation. “It’s okay. He’s so sweet.”

“I’m so sorry. He doesn’t take to strangers. I can tell he likes you. That means you’re a dog person.” She finally got control of him. “Sit, Bonzo. Good boy.”

“I didn’t use to be.” I sat back, wiping my camera lens on my jeans.

“How come?”

“My dad never let me have one as a child, so I was just afraid of them.”

“This little man is a lover. He’s the reason I get up every morning.”

“I can tell he’s very special.” I moved onto my knees, pointing the camera and adjusting the focus. After snapping a few photographs, I couldn’t stop thinking about Tank.

“What’s this for?”

“Oh, I have an Instagram account and I photograph animals, food, travel locations. Anything that makes people smile.” Maybe that was the way to look at my eclectic account. Perhaps the problem was that I hadn’t branded my work well enough.

“Would you mind giving me the name?”

Bonzo posed, the backdrop of the sun highlighting his dark fur perfectly. I snapped a few more photos before standing. The tug of sadness was worse on the gorgeous afternoon than I’d felt up to this point.

Maybe because I’d tried to shove the rugged man and his incredible dog from my mind.

Not possible.

“Oh, I’d be happy to. Don’t forget to follow me if you like what you see. I’ll upload your baby later today and give him special attention.”

“Did you hear that, Bonzo? You’re going to be famous.”

His single bark was another reminder of Tank’s actions. I stood and stroked the cutie pie behind his ears. “Thank you for indulging me.”

“Thank you for making my boy a star. He’s my child, my pride and joy.”

Grinning, I pulled a dog biscuit from my pocket. I’d taken to carrying a few when I took a walk. “Is this okay?”

The woman grinned enthusiastically. “Absolutely. He might follow you home now.”

“I think he is happy where he is.” As I offered the treat, I gave her the name of my account and for some reason, I felt better about my work than I had in a long time. Maybe this incredible, silly moment would offer the incentive I needed to make a hard push. Why not? I had little else in my life.

As the two walked off, I watched them until they disappeared from sight. Once I returned home, I’d upload a few pictures of Tank as well. At least I could remember the strangely beautiful joy I’d shared with two rugged beasts.

A glass of wine in my hand, I uploaded the final photograph, including one I’d taken of the delicious salad I’d indulged in for lunch from an incredible unknown deli.

The Big Apple was a destination point. If I couldn’t travel, why not give a boost to the local economy?

The last photograph was of Tank, and I wrote a caption.

I’d had twenty new followers that day, so I considered it a win.

I flipped through the various comments, answering a few. Hmmm… Whoever Mr. Nobody was, he’d been busy liking several other photographs. Wait a minute. I scrolled to the picture I’d uploaded of Kage. A strange feeling pooled in my stomach.

Mr. Nobody had commented on Kage’s photograph. “Not a handsome guy. Stick to food and animals.” What? I laughed and shifted in my seat, a strange feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Maybe the guy was just grouchy and didn’t want to see photographs of other men, but really?

I couldn’t help myself, allowing the ornery side of me to come through. So I typed a response.

No reason to be jealous other than he is the most gorgeous man on earth.

Laughing, I hit enter before I rethought my wickedness. While alienating a new follower wasn’t a good thing for my numbers, I couldn’t help myself.

I moved to Facebook, adding the few photos, including one of the gorgeous pictures I’d captured of the lake and mountains the day Kage had taken me horseback riding.

A blip on my phone indicated a new comment on Instagram. I shifted screens, curious to see Mr. Nobody had replied.

Not jealous. Just realistic. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, no matter how jaded the view might be.

Really? He was teasing me.

I swirled my glass as another strange series of sensations jutted all the way to my toes. I curled my fingers and bit down on my lower lip.

Beauty is in every creature on this earth, no matter how big or small, how happy or grumpy.

His quick response?

Grumpiness is a lesser-known art.

My laugh was out loud, the hard pitter-patter of my heart the same as I’d felt before.

A long time ago.

I debated my answer.

So is stubbornness. But that doesn’t win any prizes.

Maybe I was being ridiculous, but a little hope was everything I needed. When he didn’t respond right away, I grew frustrated. When I clicked on his empty profile pic, I didn’t anticipate seeing anything different than the bluish white silhouette of nothingness.

Sadly, I was correct.

However, he’d followed another account. When I checked what it was, my heart almost stopped. There was no chance. None. What if my girlfriends were right?

Don’t get yourself worked up. You know him.

My inner thoughts did nothing to calm my nerves. I clicked on the new profile, my hand shaking.

I leaned in, studying the photograph used for the profile.

A swell of emotions rushed through me, thoughts and images that I’d worked so hard to drive aside.

The strange sense of knowing, realizing why I hadn’t been able to commit to taking back my life was peaceful.

How was that possible? A single tear slipped past my lashes that I didn’t bother to wipe away.

I moved my finger over the trackpad, studying the incredible pictures uploaded hours before. He hadn’t sold the sanctuary. My pulse raced as I moved to the description that had also been added.

“The Horse Whisperer Sanctuary,” I whispered, sucking in my breath as a sob rattled my stomach, dislodging the goddamn butterflies. “A healing place for beautiful and intelligent creatures of majesty.”

I bit my lower lip, every muscle trembling.

What was it my mother had told me a long time ago?

Life was what you made of it, but if I waited too long, all the wonderment would pass by and suddenly, I’d lose the ability of finding enjoyment.

No. This was wrong. What I was thinking was insane. I had to work. I had to make money.

Maybe I was crazy. Maybe I was wrong. But I refused to take a backseat to my life any longer. Another chance. Another… No. Not possible. To hell with it. Time to close a chapter, to forget the anger and sadness.

Doing so was the only way I’d find the happiness that I’d only found once.

One beautiful moment a lifetime ago…