Page 49 of Kage (Claimed and Protected #1)

K age

“What now?” Juliette’s voice cut through the crackling fire, the softness sending a shiver down my arms. Her words were still so haunted.

“Gray arrives tomorrow and we find out what the hell is going on.”

She rested her head on her knee. “I don’t think I’ll like whatever it is.”

“Well, let’s not jump to conclusions.”

“I’ll try not to. I’m sorry I didn’t obey orders.”

I cocked my head. “Meaning?”

“Meaning I ran. I didn’t think I had another choice.”

The acid in my stomach remained just thinking about what could have occurred. “You did the right thing, Juliette. You followed your instinct. If you do, it will never steer you wrong.”

“Maybe that’s advice you should take yourself, big man.”

“Maybe so.” My entire life I’d followed my instincts. Sadly, I wasn’t certain what they were telling me right now. We sat quietly, happy to be nuzzled together. At least for now, I could remain content.

“What’s your greatest dream?” she asked a couple of minutes later.

“I don’t know if I have one.” I’d built a fire, cracked open a bottle of wine, and both of us were sitting under a blanket with my arms wrapped around her. Even still, she was shaking.

She shifted enough that she could peer at my face. “Everyone has one, Kage. I think sometimes we’re afraid to admit what they are, but we have something deep inside that we’ve wanted our entire lives.”

“What’s yours?”

Her laugh was chilling. “To be a veterinarian.”

“That’s why you’re so drawn to animals.”

“I guess so. That and my father never allowed me to have a pet as a child. He said we traveled too much. I think he tried to make me afraid of dogs in particular. It worked. Maybe we did travel a lot, but I always knew owning a dog or a kitty would have helped with the loneliness.”

“It’s never too late.”

Her snort brought a smile to my face. “Please. I’m twenty-eight years old, soon to be twenty-nine. As you reminded me more than once, I’m spoiled and I like to do things my way. I don’t think I’d be able to return to college life. Four years was enough.”

“You’re not spoiled. Just hardheaded.”

“And you’re not getting out of the question. What’s your dream?”

Reaching over, I stroked Tank as he lay sleeping, even more thankful than I’d been a few hours before. If only the anger would subside. “To go back several years ago to the last mission I had with the Navy SEALs.”

“That’s when something happened. Right?”

“Yeah. A man I thought I could count on didn’t follow through on the command he’d been given. That allowed several good men to die.”

“If that’s the case then why are you blaming yourself?”

The answer was tougher to admit to myself than it was to her. “Shit. It’s all a lie.”

“What do you mean?”

“Because the dreams aren’t what happened. Because I’ve been blaming a man for something I did.”

“I don’t understand.”

Sighing, I pulled the glass into my hand, finally ready to face the demons plaguing me for years.

“That night we’d been given the orders to advance, but our commander had been very clear.

We acted only after checking the parameter of the building.

Instead, I thought I heard a noise from inside clearly indicating the insurgents were holed up just like what we’d been told. ”

“And they weren’t?”

I shook my head and took a sip of wine, the cabernet tasting bitter.

Or maybe that was the bad taste I’d had in my mouth since something inside of me had known I’d been lying to myself for years.

“No, but we didn’t know that until it was too late.

Maddox and I were supposed to check the exterior to look for any signs of booby-traps and to search for any sign of life.

When I heard the noise, I reacted instead of following my trained instincts and kicked in the door.

That had been planned, but only if the information was proven correct.

I told Maddox I had confirmation after hearing voices.

He refused to believe me. He followed his orders and his instincts. ”

“So he walked away?” she asked.

“I didn’t think so at first. I thought he was right behind me, so I kicked the door in.

Other SEALs followed me inside. It was a trap, the place wired.

The insurgents were waiting, immediately attacking from behind.

In the melee, one man was lost inside the building, losing his life to one of several explosions.

There were more, at least six of us were gunned down.

We’d been targeted. I insisted if he’d been with me, we could have saved the fallen man. Others lost their lives as well.”

“You couldn’t have known it was a trap.”

Huffing, I shook my head. “No, at least according to how the inquiry concluded, but the confusion allowed our guards to fall. I blamed Maddox. The fault is all mine.”

She shifted, taking the wine from my hand and placing both glasses on the hearth.

“You’re hurting. I can’t take that away from you, but you were in the middle of war.

You thought you were doing the right thing.

You heard noises. Maddox evidently did not.

You believe you were following orders. So did he. ”

“I don’t know, Juliette. Why would the dreams shade my mind into believing he was to blame?”

“Because that’s what your brain needed to do to handle the horror. But it’s time for you to let the guilt and the anger go.”

“Yeah? How do I do that?”

She lifted my hand, pressing my palm against her lips. I took several deep breaths, horrified I’d almost lost her. The guilt in leaving her alone would also eat at me for a long time.

“You do the only thing you can do. You make contact with Maddox and you talk about what happened. Don’t you think he’s hurting too?

You lost men you cared about. Not because of anger or incompetence or insolence in ignoring orders.

But because some enemy soldiers played dirty.

Until you put your anger to rest, you will never heal. Neither will he.”

As I turned my head, staring into her eyes, I saw such admiration and adoration that I was thrown. “How’d you get so smart, Ms. Carver?”

“It took a lot of practice.”

I gripped her chin with two fingers and lowered my head. There were no words needed. What we both wanted was time spent together, and a peace neither one of us had felt in a long time. There was also no way of expressing adequately the way I craved her touch or her taste.

This time, as I captured her mouth, neither one of us was in a hurry. This wasn’t about laying claim or asserting my authority. This was about being together, untouched by time and unhindered by fear. I swept my tongue inside and she mewed, wrapping her long fingers around my shirt.

Even the way she clutched a part of me, arching her back into the moment of intimacy created an arousal that wouldn’t be denied.

I rolled her lips against mine as I tasted her sweetness.

Every muscle was already tensed, my cock pressing hard against my jeans.

The thought of losing her had enraged a fire, but I was no longer furious, merely falling prey to a rollercoaster of emotions.

Juliette slid one arm around my neck, tangling her fingers in my hair as she moaned into the kiss. I captured every sound, savoring every second of her being in my arms. Our tongues danced together for several seconds until the desire to touch her skin became overwhelming.

I pulled back, offering a sloppy smile before tugging her shirt up and over her head. She did the same with mine, both our actions infused with tenderness. I easily unclasped her bra, slowly tugging the straps down both arms.

After tossing it aside, I cupped both her breasts, rolling my thumbs across her nipples. Both were fully aroused, sensitive to my touch. Her scattered laugh brought another smile to my face. Just seeing the dazzle in her eyes was captivating. I could look at them all night.

We both rose onto our knees and I dropped my head, cupping one breast and sucking on her tender bud.

Sighing, Juliette wrapped one arm around my head. Her chest rose and fell in soft whispered breaths, her long hair dangling across my skin. When she placed her fingertips against my chest, another shudder of extreme heat rushed through me.

I bit down on her nipple before rolling my lips to her other breast, taking my time to swirl the tip of my tongue around her areole several times. Every sound she made kept the fire burning bright.

She crawled her hands to my belt, unfastening the buckle. As soon as she’d unzipped my jeans, I felt her small hand pull my aching cock free of the tight confines.

Every time I’d touched her, I’d felt a sense of possessiveness, but tonight the feeling was even stronger. I was lost in the sweet moment of having her touch me. The softness of her skin was incredible. I bit down on her nipple again before pushing her away gently.

She peered up at me with uncertainty in her eyes. When she dragged her tongue across her bottom lip, I issued a growl, which made her laugh.

“Tough man,” she whispered.

“You have no idea.”

“Oh, I think I do.”

I eased her onto the rug, running my fingers down her leg and tugging off one boot then the other.

As I fumbled with the button and zipper on her jeans, she lifted her pelvis.

The offer was blatantly delicious. When she was completely naked, her long hair splayed out on either side of her head, I took several deep breaths.

“Goddamn, you’re beautiful.” I rose onto my knees, tugging the thick denim down past my hips.

She bit her lower lip as she watched me, her eyes glazing over as I took my time undressing. “You know how to torture a girl.”

Even the sound of her voice was different tonight, sultry yet so full of strength.

When I was naked, I moved on top of her, grabbing the blanket and throwing it around both of us. Placing my hands on either side of her, I took my time lowering my body. As soon as I did, she wrapped one leg around my thigh.